10. Ellie #2
“C’mon, El. Let’s get you home.”
Home.
Did he know? That his mom was offering up his childhood home for me to live in?
Did he know how much I’d always thought of that house as home?
How much I’d always thought of him as home?
When we were both in the car, buckled into seats with the engine running, I cleared my throat. “Have you talked to your mom?”
Sully didn’t take his eyes off the road, even though he didn’t pull out onto it. “About how you’ve been staying with her?”
His tone was like it always was lately—hard to read.
“Look, yeah, I’m sorry about that. But I saw her when I was in Boston for Natalie’s trial, and—”
“I don’t mind that you’re staying with my mom,” he cut in before I could spiral too much. “My mom adores you, and she’s probably very happy that you’re there. And I like when my mom is happy.”
Oh, well, that was…good.
“What I don’t like is being the last person to know you’re staying with her.”
Okay, that was…less good.
And valid.
“How long have you even been here?” he asked, a bit accusatory. Like it bothered him that he didn’t know how extensive the overlap of our timelines was—how many days or weeks I’d been existing just down the road from him. And that was a feeling I could understand, appreciate.
Going about my day when I knew he was so close was a different sort of living.
“Only since the beginning of the week.”
That answer didn’t seem to make him feel better, and I sighed.
He was right; he didn’t deserve to be the last person to know things.
Which meant I couldn’t let this opportunity pass without talking about my living situation.
Because if he found out about it later, he’d only be more pissed that I hadn’t brought it up.
“Has your mom talked to you about Maple Street?” I asked before bracing myself for the answer. The potential outrage. The sarcastic rebuff.
But Sully frowned. “What about Maple Street?”
Ah, so I beat Anne to the punch.
Great.
“Your mom has suggested—well, more like asked—if I’d want to move in there. For now. Or, I don’t know how long. A while. We didn’t get too far into it, but—”
“Wait.”
I’d been looking just about anywhere but at Sully. I gave in, though, when I heard the pinch in the tone of his voice. When I glanced to my left, he was rubbing his forehead like I’d given him an instant headache.
“You’re going to…move into my house?”
“Well, I—” When he said it like that, it did sound questionable. “Not if you don’t want me to.”
He gave me a look like, “Why the hell would I want you to?”
At least that was how I interpreted it.
Again, valid.
“Do you still go there often?” I asked.
He raised a brow. “Do you remember how I felt about your red dress?”
I flushed, suddenly hot all over. “I…yes.”
How the hell could I forget the things he’d said while rolling a condom—an apparently faulty condom—over his cock and giving me a look that wasn’t too unlike the stare he was shooting at me now.
The hue of Sully’s eyes darkened, and the languid way they moved over me made my insides turn to liquid—something molten. “Then why the hell do you think I’d voluntarily go to a place that has the floor in question?”
“The floor in question?”
It was annoying that I couldn’t follow his train of thought quite as easily anymore.
“The floor I distinctly remember throwing that dress onto, El.”
I sucked in, trying not to think about that night, when we’d gone out for my birthday dinner and then driven to Maple Street because we’d known it would be vacant for the night. No roommates to deal with or siblings or anyone. Just us and the place that had once meant everything.
“Right.”
Fuck, maybe this was a terrible idea.
I was so grateful that the light in the car was dim. I could hold out hope that maybe he wouldn’t be able to tell how pink my cheeks were.
“So you’re not there much.”
I said it like a statement, but Sully still gave me a sullen “No.”
Nodding, I cleared my throat. “Well, your mom knew I was going to tour apartments today, and she mentioned it as an option. I told her I’d only consider it if you’re okay with it.
And if you’re not, that’s really okay, too,” I said, and I was proud of how many words I’d strung together. And so calmly.
“Eleanor,” he ground out, and just as I’d expected, I had no idea how to read the way he said my name. “I…this is…”
He shook his head, struggling to find words. He didn’t seem upset, but he certainly didn’t seem happy, either.
When he couldn’t seem to finish his sentence, I prompted, “Just sleep on it, maybe? We both can. And we can talk tomorrow.”
He might not want to talk to me tomorrow, but that was unavoidable.
I still needed to tell him the rest of, well, everything, but I didn’t want to spill it now and then have him agree to me moving into Maple Street because he felt like he had to.
Because he felt like it was best for the baby.
I wanted to know what he actually thought first, just to see.
And maybe if he got the chance to talk to Anne before that, too, she’d be able to get a better idea of what his thoughts were about it all.
“Okay,” he agreed eventually. “Where’s your car?”
I sighed. “It’s a couple blocks down, off—”
“In a lot?”
“No, just on the street.”
He pulled out of his parking spot and drove down the road. “Is it still the Corolla?”
“Yeah, I’d left it at my mom’s.”
“How is she?”
The question took me so off guard that I hesitated before answering. “She’s fine.”
Sully gave me a sideways look that made me think he wanted to ask more, but instead, he pivoted. “Are you going back to the lake tonight?”
I nodded. “Yeah, but I’m going to make myself scarce. Your mom’s having her friends over for—”
“Bridge night. Yeah, I know.”
Of course he did.
God, this was so awkward. I searched for something else to say that might make it less awkward, but I wasn’t able to come up with anything before his phone rang.
“Sorry, it’s Theo.” He pulled up beside my car, close enough for the cables to reach, before parking. “I might have left without telling him.”
I forced a smile. “Then you should probably take that.”
“It’s fine.” He silenced his phone and then gave me his attention, which was frighteningly intense.
It made my senses tingle. All we were doing was sitting next to each other in the front seat of his car, but after the years we’d spent apart, this felt monumental.
It stirred up emotions I didn’t dare name.
“I don’t want to jump your car,” he said, making my lips part with confusion.
Until he said, “I’d rather just drive you to Mom’s. ”
I sighed. “I can’t keep my car here overnight, Sawyer.”
His lips pressed together. “I know.” He put his palm out. “Keys?”
After I handed them over to him, he got out of the car, and despite his words, went through the motions to give my car the jump it needed. Once he got it running, he seemed reluctant to turn it over to me, lingering between the cars.
“So we’ll…talk tomorrow, huh?”
He said it like he couldn’t believe we were agreeing to be in communication again. Which, again, was fair. He hadn’t had a warning for all of this. Meanwhile, I’d been bracing myself for this new reality for a couple of weeks now.
“Yeah.” I swallowed a sudden bout of nerves that swelled inside me at the thought of the conversation we’d need to have tomorrow. “Sounds good.”
His brows furrowed, like he knew something was off.
But he didn’t push it.
“Thanks for the help, Sawyer,” I said because I really did appreciate it.
Sully answered me with a weighty stare, and I moved to get in my car before he stopped me.
“Eleanor, wait.”
I glanced back, my heart flying into my throat. The energy between us seemed to spike. I could feel the hair on my arms stand up, like there was sudden static in the air.
“You know me,” he said, voice rough, and it took everything in me not to lean closer to him.
“What?”
“You said you didn’t know anyone but Theo to call.” His gaze bored into mine, making it hard to breathe. Making it hard not to reach out and touch him. “But you know me. You’ll always know me. Understood?”
I nodded, comprehending, but I couldn’t say anything. My throat had closed up, and there was a prickling sensation behind my eyes.
So I just nodded one more time and then forced myself to leave.