16. Ellie
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
ellie
“WE’RE UP HERE!” I called, my voice scratchy as I scrambled to my feet.
Sully had sat up as soon as he’d heard Theo’s voice, and now he was leaning against the side of his bed.
He’d propped his arm on his bent knee. It might have looked casual, if it weren’t for the rapid rise and fall of his chest or the wild look in his gaze, like he was realizing how close we’d been to… well, I don’t know what exactly. But—
“Ellieee!”
A second voice floated up the stairs, and I realized it wasn’t just Theo who’d shown up. It was Cooper, too.
Sully’s jaw ticked, and I was having a hard time figuring out if he was mad at them or mad at me.
“I didn’t know they were coming,” he said, and I decided he was mad at them.
I wished I didn’t struggle so much to get a read on where he stood when it came to me, but I suspected it was because he hadn’t fully decided yet—that a part of him was torn in two about the entire situation.
I couldn’t blame him, but it was a painful reality. He’d admitted to being scared, and not for the first time, which gutted me. There was nothing I could say right now that would make a difference, though, and no use in prolonging this moment. Not with Theo and Cooper downstairs.
“I should…” I started, and Sully gave a little wave of his fingers.
“Go,” he said, and it felt like a little shove away, even if he hadn’t meant it that way.
Nodding, I turned and walked out the door, leaving Sully behind as I treaded down creaky steps. Theo and Cooper came into my line of vision as they lingered just inside the front door, almost as though waiting for permission to come any further.
It felt weird, so weird. After all, this was Theo’s home more than it was mine.
“Hey!” I forced a smile as I wiped my sweaty palms on my dress. “Long time no see.”
For Theo, I meant it figuratively. I’d seen him at the start of the summer, which was already much more than I was used to these days.
But for Cooper, it was literal. He’d been a couple of years older than me in high school, Theo’s grade.
But like me, he was a frequent guest at the London house.
And after high school, he stayed in Minnesota, too.
Even though Cooper hadn’t gone to the U like the rest of us, he was still always around, and we’d become friends.
And then I moved away, and everything changed.
“No kidding,” Cooper laughed, clapping me on my back.
Theo came in from the other side, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and tugging me in.
“Hey, you,” he muttered, his deep, low-pitched voice so familiar. “Look who finally came back.”
He said it like he’d always known I would return eventually, and I barely managed a response.
“Hey, Theo.”
When he released me, I took a step back, only to run into a wall of muscle that I immediately recognized.
An arm wrapped around me. A palm pressed into my stomach, steadying me. Fingers stretched over my lower belly, but whether it was by accident or on purpose, I couldn’t say.
I gave myself exactly two seconds to lean into Sully before shooting out of his grasp. When I turned to look at him, his expression was tight.
“I didn’t realize we’d be having a little reunion this evening, or I would have picked up something to celebrate the occasion,” I said, forcing a light laugh.
God, this was awkward.
“Sorry,” Theo said, sounding a little sheepish and genuine. “My mom asked me to swing by and clean out my room, and I didn’t realize you’d be around already. And Sul here hasn’t been returning my calls…”
His words trailed off as his eyes met his brother’s.
I turned to find Sully’s expression just as strained as the last time I’d looked at it, and I knew he was doing everything in his control not to blurt out secrets.
I wouldn’t be mad if he did, but we both knew it was better this way—to get a handle on the pregnancy ourselves first before bringing other people into it.
Sully’s gaze flared as it landed on me again, and I had to ball my fingers into a fist to keep from reaching out to him. The ghost of his touch still lingered on my palm, the feel of his fingertips grazing my skin, and a hot shiver erupted down my spine. Especially as his gaze was so heavy.
Then he tore it away, returning to his brother. “Sorry, man. I’ve had a lot on my mind, ya know?”
Understatement of the century.
“Yeah,” Theo said solemnly. His eyes tracked back and forth between Sully and me. “I know.”
He knew, and that was why he’d been calling. To check on his brother, make sure he was okay.
“Well.” Sully clapped his hands together, faking a smile. “If you need me, I’ll be upstairs, going through childhood memories I’ve tried unsuccessfully to bury for years.”
I winced, and then he was gone, stalking back to his room. The door clicked behind him, and even though he didn’t slam it, it almost felt like he did.
I stared after Sully, wondering if I should follow.
Wanting to follow.
Theo’s sigh drew me out of my thoughts.
“Look, Ellie…” he started, and I braced myself for whatever he was about to say. “I don’t know what’s going on, and you know I’m glad you’re back, but…”
I stared at Theo, needing him to finish. But he just dragged a hand through his chestnut-colored hair, his mannerisms similar to his brother’s but slower, more calculated.
“Just say it, Theo,” I encouraged when he still looked tortured with indecision.
He gave me a pained look. “Like I said in my text, I’m here for you. If you need anything.”
“I know you are.”
The Londons were far more gracious to me than they should have been, and I was almost glad to hear Theo add, “It’s just, you’ve gotta know what this is probably doing to him, to have you back here. And like this.” He gestured around us, at the foyer of his childhood home.
My stomach cramped. “Theo, if you’re not comfortable with me living here—”
“I really couldn’t give less of a shit about this house and if you live in it, Ellie,” he cut in. “I want you to be home, but I’m also just a bit worried about my little brother.”
“I know.” A ball of emotion sat heavy in my chest. “Believe me, I’m well aware that even though he agreed to this, in some ways he is…less than happy that I’m here.”
I trusted Sully when he told me that he wanted this—the baby, the teamwork. But I also knew this scenario was never exactly what he wanted, that it wasn’t the dream he’d once envisioned.
“Well, I don’t know about that,” Cooper muttered, and my eyes darted to him before finding Theo again when he spoke.
“You know how he overcompensates when he masks his emotions,” he tried to explain. “His jokes aren’t always jokes, and if he’s an ass…”
I laughed.
Theo didn’t.
“He hasn’t been. An ass,” I clarified. “Ever since—” Ever since I told him I was pregnant with his child, I wanted to say, but I bit my tongue.
“I think it’s going to be okay,” I settled on.
Maybe that was a little more optimistic than the situation warranted, but I had to try to believe it.
“I promise I have a good reason for being here.”
Theo gave a solemn nod. “I know.” He gave me a small, sad smile. “I know my brother, but I know you, too. You wouldn’t be putting yourself through this unless there was a reason to.”
“No,” I whispered. “I wouldn’t be.”
Before Theo could say anything else—or, God forbid, ask anything else—a door closed at the top of the stairs, and we all turned to see Sully coming down the stairs with a few boxes in his arms. I recognized the things coming out of the top.
Books and video games he used to love, movie posters from his walls.
“I’ll be in the garage,” he said a little too brightly as he whooshed past us, leaving me aching to follow him. “If it’s still standing, that is. Last time I was in there, I could have sworn the walls were shaking.”
He’d had my heart in my throat when we were upstairs, his hand pressing into mine like he was trying to communicate something different than the words he’d been saying.
Sully’s normally crystal-clear blue eyes had been clouded, hazing over as he watched me, his attention rapt—like a sky before a summer storm as it hummed with electricity.
His proximity was an intoxicating thing, and even though I knew it was a terrible idea, I wanted more of it. I craved more of it.
“The garage?” I questioned, following him with my eyes. Only my eyes.
“Check on the sprinkler system.”
“Is it still acting up?” Theo asked. “You’ve been messing with that thing all summer.”
“It’s working, but it keeps missing the rose bushes,” Sully answered, that stormy gaze skirting to me and then darting away. “I just want to make sure they’re getting watered.”
And then he was out the door.
“Hey, El?”
I turned to Theo, realizing that while I’d been staring after Sully, he’d been staring at me.
Shit.
“Yeah?”
“Whatever it is, it’s going to be okay.”
He was repeating my words back to me, words I’d said but clearly not fully believed.
I gave him a shaky smile. “Are you sure?”
“Totally okay,” Cooper insisted.
I hugged my arms around myself. “How do you know?”
Theo nodded toward the front door. “Because he could have let those rosebushes die five years ago, but he’s out here every week, making sure they don’t.”