18. Ellie #2
He dropped his hand, as though remembering he still wasn’t supposed to touch me, and a flare of disappointment landed low in my belly.
Deciding to do something about it, I boldly met his bright cerulean gaze beat for beat. “I believe I gave you an opportunity.”
“No, you didn’t.” A crease appeared between his brows. “You didn’t want me to kiss you. And now I—” He snapped his mouth shut.
“No…” I cocked my head to the side. “But I wanted you in my mouth in other ways.”
Sully released a curse that was more like a low groan, his eyes fluttering shut as he tipped his head back. Heat flooded my body as I watched his throat bob, swallowing hard.
God, this was going to be impossible, wasn’t it?
Years of old memories existed, and while those were incredibly present with being back here in Rosewood, I’d had a lot of practice suppressing them over time.
Boston, though? The things that happened that night, things that were the reason we were here today? I didn’t know how to push those thoughts away. They were fresh, in the forefront of my mind whenever I saw him, and I was starting to suspect it was the same way with him.
So maybe we should talk about that. Or maybe we needed to take a step back and talk about a few other things first. Despite feeling like I knew this man better than anyone, the truth was we’d spent the last several years apart. There were gaps now. And I wanted to fill them.
“I want to know more,” I said, and he frowned, lowering his gaze to mine again.
“What?”
“About you,” I clarified. “I think we should take some time to get to know each other again. Catch up? It would be a good thing if we’re going to, you know, do this together.”
Sully cocked one brow. “Oh, we’re going to do this together. But—” He cut himself off as he finally unwrapped his taco to take a bite of it, which prompted me to do the same. I gave him a curious look as I chewed, wondering what the end of his sentence would be.
“Hm?” I prompted when he continued to mull his words over after swallowing.
He shook his head, and then he did that soft laughter thing, which always filled my belly with butterflies, ever since I was fourteen years old.
“It’s just—” He ran a hand over his mouth. “If someone asked me what’s new, all I’d really have to say is that my ex-girlfriend’s pregnant, back in town, and I’m gonna be a dad. Ya know?”
I laughed a little, shaking my head. “There are other things, though,” I argued. “I mean, yeah, maybe that’s your news for the week—”
“El, that’s my news for the fucking century, are you kidding me?”
“I’m serious,” I insisted before shoving the rest of my taco into my mouth and giving him an expectant look.
“Okay, well…” Sully began as the car began to shake. “What would you like to know?”
I glanced at his knee bouncing up and down beneath the steering wheel and then let my eyes drift to his handsome face.
What did I want to know?
Fuck, a million questions exploded into my brain. What did he fill his days with now? What were his recent favorite movies? How many books did he read last year? Where did he live? But there was one floating at the top, relentless.
“This news of the century…” I started, and Sully dipped his chin as he looked at me.
“You being pregnant with my child, yes,” he clarified unnecessarily. “News of the goddamn millennium, honestly.”
“Is there anyone I should know about who might be…upset by this news?”
“Upset?” Sully frowned, dropping his half-eaten taco into his lap, forgotten.
“El, I don’t think anyone’s going to be upset.
We already know my family loves you. Sure, they might have some questions, but they’ll be ecstatic, I’m sure.
And…” He looked lost for words as he rummaged around his brain, trying to think of anyone else who might care and seeming to come up blank.
Relief trickled down my spine. I hated myself for it, but I couldn’t deny it.
“I wasn’t talking about your family,” I admitted. “I wasn’t sure if you’d been seeing anyone or…”
Sully’s brows skyrocketed, his expression making me stop talking.
“And you think I, what, cheated on them when we slept together in Boston?”
“No.” I knew Sully would never do that. “But that was a while ago now. Maybe you met someone afterward. Or maybe there’s been someone you’ve been, I don’t know, casual with over the years.”
Sully leveled me with a look that made my cheeks burn. I swore he could see right through me. Reach into my soul and lay me out bare if he wanted.
“Eleanor.” He stopped bouncing his leg, leaning over to slide his hand atop mine, and it was then that I realized I’d been ripping the tinfoil from my taco into tiny pieces. I looked down at our hands, the way they linked together. “There’s no one.”
The tone in his voice made me look up.
“Not even—”
“No,” he cut in, and again, relief entered my bloodstream. It untangled knots in my gut that I hadn’t realized were there. “I’ve spent the summer getting off to memories of you.”
His voice was low and beautifully gruff, and now I was thinking about Sully with his hand around his cock, stroking it slowly as he thought about me, the things we did in that hotel room.
“To be honest, I’ve been spending years doing that,” he added softly, and I found myself squirming. His hand slid off mine, and just the graze of his skin over my knuckles made me cross my legs together tight. “So no, there’s no one who will be upset.”
“Okay,” I rasped before clearing my throat, trying to get the arousal out of it. “Okay. Just thought I should…make sure. You know?”
“Yeah.” His lips crooked to one side, like it had finally clicked in his brain that maybe I was jealous, and maybe he liked that. Just a little. “I know.”
“Okay,” I repeated. Goddamnit, I wished I could figure out something new to say. “Good. Glad we’re on the same page.”
“Mhm.” Sully was still giving me that look. His lips were, like, a millimeter away from forming a smirk, and I didn’t know how to look away. “So what else would you like to know?”
“Maybe you could tell me a little more about your…” I stopped to clear my throat because I was finding it hard to talk when Sully watched me the way he did, with his hooded gaze and his bottom lip grazing between his teeth—like he was more interested in eating me than his taco.
“Job? Where you live now? You know, the basic things people catch up on.” I forced myself to drop my gaze, brushing the torn tinfoil to the ground and then grabbing another taco. “I’ll pick that up later.”
“It’s fine, really,” Sully said with a chuckle. Then he relaxed in his seat, readjusting himself. “My job is largely unfulfilling, but I’m good at it, and it pays well.”
“Are you still in a software engineer role?”
“Developer,” he corrected. “Whatever job Natalie told you about is probably my old one.”
“Oh, I don’t ask Natalie about you.” There was no point not to be honest. “I never wanted to make her be a middleman. I just…” I shrugged. “Occasionally checked your LinkedIn.”
“Is that all, El?” He flashed a disbelieving look. “Just my LinkedIn?”
I flashed him a cheeky grin and shrugged again.
I never really did deep dives on Sully, though he knew I had the capabilities to.
He sighed, not pressing it. “It’s a good thing I’ve never really had anything to hide from you; I’d be screwed. You’d be some men’s worst nightmare of an ex.”
“Well, I did show up at your mom’s house after a handful of years, decided to move into your childhood home, and announced I’m unexpectedly pregnant with your baby. So…are you sure I’m not your worst nightmare of an ex?”
“Yeah.” His eyes glittered, seeming to gleam with the reflection of the lake and the setting sun. “I’m pretty damn sure. You’re actually my favorite ex.”
“Because I’m your only ex?” I asked without thinking, and fuck, I sounded way too hopeful.
He pointed a lazy finger. “Bingo.”
The light in his gaze dimmed as he fell silent, and I realized maybe he thought it wasn’t the same for me.
“For the record, you’re my favorite and only ex, too.”
Sully pursed his lips like he didn’t believe me. His eyes averted, looking out the window.
“Sullivan.”
He sighed. “What?”
“Look at me.”
He did.
“You’re my only ex, too,” I repeated.
Sully held my gaze for a long moment before there was a twitch of his lips, a hint of a grin, and then finally, he nodded.
Almost as though he was saying words in his head I wasn’t allowed to hear yet.