Chapter Fourteen Seraphina #2
His facial muscles tensed, the same as his arms did at that question. “Single, yes.”
There was more to that yes , something he hadn’t revealed in those bullet points. Like context. Someone hurt you, didn’t they?
His gaze journeyed down my body, and my skin tingled beneath the heat of his stare.
I had a mission to complete, and so did he. His mission was in direct conflict with mine, since I was his mission. So I needed to stop feeling whatever this thing was. Put the brakes on, and fast.
“I still feel like we’re strangers,” I admitted, standing.
“So I wasted those bullet points on you, is that what you’re saying?” He backed away from me as if realizing he was too close with me on my feet.
There was no obstacle between us like last night. No alcohol or post-fight adrenaline.
Just a towel in our way.
“Maybe it’d help to ask you a few more questions to get to know you?” Okay, I was stalling, but I didn’t want to go into that kitchen and share my past. It was messy and ugly but the reason we were there.
“Like my horoscope?” he asked sarcastically. “I’m a Leo, like you.”
Fire sign. Sounds about right. “Never mind,” I said after an exasperated sigh, turning away from him.
He encircled my wrist, stopping my escape. “How about you tell me something?” There was a gravelly plea in his tone as he unhanded me.
I kept my back to him, resisting the urge to lean against him and allow his naked chest to hold me up. I’d been standing alone for so long, it’d feel good to let my posture wane, even for a second.
“Like what?” I closed my eyes, shocked to find myself doing it. Letting go. Leaning against him, letting him catch my weight.
He slipped his hand around my waist, parking it on my abdomen, keeping me steady. With his chest flush to my back, he quietly held me like that. Quite the pivot from me trying to leave.
He whispered, “Tell me something not in that file. Something no one would know.”
Like how you’re making me feel right now? Aroused, hot, and flustered. “I haven’t been touched in a very long time. I haven’t wanted to be.”
“When?” His free hand skimmed my silhouette all the way up to where my hair rested over my shoulder. He shifted it around, giving himself access to my neck, and I angled my head, breathing softly through my nose. “When was the last time?” he murmured in my ear.
“Over thirteen months ago. I broke up with my boyfriend because he refused to support me in what I planned to do. What I needed to do.”
He was quiet for a few moments; then he took me by surprise with the words he laid between us next. “I’m jealous. God help me, I am. I’m jealous of every hand that’s ever touched you, which makes no sense.”
This man and his honesty. It just might be my undoing. Or maybe, with any luck, possibly my salvation.
“Because you’re a stranger—is that why it makes no sense?”
“No.” He sighed, his breath tickling the side of my neck. “Because I’ve never felt like this before, not even when ...” He let his words trail off as he let go of me.
I turned to face him as he adjusted his towel, preventing it from falling, which was too bad. There was an unmistakable bulge, front and center, he couldn’t hide.
He cleared his throat and, without looking at me, asked, “What if I try and stop you from doing what you feel you need to do, same as he did?”
“You know what will happen,” I admitted, wasting my downturned lips on him since his eyes weren’t on me.
“I promise you I’ll take Ezra and every one of these assholes down for you.
You’ll get justice, but I won’t let you become a casualty in the process.
” And he skipped right to it. To the ultimatum I could hear loud and clear.
His way or the highway—and in his case, the highway was probably him actually locking me up in a room for safekeeping.
Not happening. “I refuse to go into hiding. That’s one reason I didn’t reach out to the DEA Saturday night.” I waited for his attention, then declared in the firmest voice I had, “I’m deep in this, and I have no plans to walk away.”
He quietly tore his hand through his hair, and when he didn’t fight back, I decided to stand my ground further.
“You don’t even know why I’m really here. You haven’t heard my plan. Maybe you’ll be on board with it.”
“I know enough. I know you’re willing to die for vengeance. Be a martyr to your cause. You wouldn’t have done everything you did if you weren’t—”
“And what would you have done if you were me?” I cut him off, closing the space between us, angry that tears were now burning my eyes, threatening to break free.
“What would you have done if someone murdered your entire family and you weren’t there with them like you should’ve been?
Would you let those responsible get away with it? ”
“No, I’d kill them,” he said in a low, growly voice. “I’d kill them all.”
“Good,” I bit back right away, chills slipping down my spine as a result of the intensity of his stare.
“So we’re on the same page. Glad we cleared that up.
” I quickly spun away from him before the tears spilled free.
He needed to see me as tough and hard, not someone weak and soft. He’d never go with my plan B otherwise.
“Seraphina, look at me.” His voice was hoarse as he said my name like he owned it, like I’d already submitted, giving him total power and authority over me.
The fact I almost wanted to scared me. I’d so easily walked away from my ex without a second thought, and here I was, struggling to even leave a stranger’s room.
“No,” I sputtered as my eyes betrayed me, allowing tears to fall.
Nine months working for Ezra hadn’t broken me, but I was about to fall to my knees and sob.
“Look at me,” he demanded again, but I knew the second I did, the dam would officially break.
“No,” I cried, my voice cracking that time.
Ryder circled me, and I kept my eyes on the floor. “You’re allowed to cry.” His tone was softer that time. “You’re the bravest woman I’ve ever met in my life, and crying doesn’t change that fact.”
I sniffled, trying to abstain. To return to being numb. Why’d it feel like since he’d come into my life there was no going back to that? To being detached.
“Stop being so stubborn for one damn minute and just give it to me.” His gritty order pulled my eyes up to him.
“Give you what?” I licked the tears from my lips.
“Your pain.” He reached for my side and hauled me against him, and then he did something I desperately needed but hadn’t known it until now.
He hugged me. Brought my cheek to his chest, cradled my head, and held me like that.
And there it was.
Dam broken.
An ugly sob followed.
Goodbye to numbness and detachment; hello, sadness and pain.
Memories of my parents, the best people on the planet, filled my mind. From the first time Dad taught me to ride a bike to my mom helping me through my first heartbreak.
And then there was my brother. Younger but always there for me. He’d just graduated from the US Air Force Academy, only to have his future stolen from him.
“The tattoo on my arm ...” I found myself whispering. You are your only limit.
“You got it after they died?”
“Yes,” I said around a hiccup, not ready to pull away from the comfort of his embrace. “A reminder to myself every time I wanted to run and hide, not to. Anytime I looked at Ezra, I’d look at my arm and remember to be strong.”
“I hate that. Hate all of it. That you have to go through any of this,” he hissed, his voice low and painfully intense, like he’d absorbed some of my suffering and taken it as his own burden to carry.
“You know ... you’re making me feel things I don’t want to feel,” I said through my mess of tears. “I think I don’t like you very much.” I buried my fingertips into the hard, sinewy flesh of his back.
“I know you don’t,” he lied right back. “Almost as much as I dislike you.”