Chapter Nineteen Ryder
Chapter Nineteen
Ryder
Back to my headboard, hat at my side, shirt off but jeans on, I stared at my bedroom door, my heart thundering out of control at the soft knocking.
Did I leave the door unlocked on purpose, hoping she’d defy my orders and come to me anyway? You know, so I wouldn’t be the bad guy and could remain, in her eyes, “good”? Why yes, yes the fuck I did.
“Come in,” I called out, my arms falling like dead weight in anticipation of seeing her.
The door slowly opened, and my lungs filled with air, inflating my chest at the sight before me.
Seraphina wearing only my dress shirt from Saturday wasn’t what I’d been expecting. It was more perfect than I could’ve dreamed up.
I exhaled that heavy breath as I waited for what she planned to do.
She closed and locked the door. Good call, just in case the guys also defied my orders.
Facing me again, she leaned against the door, fidgeting with the material of my shirt, staring at me with suggestive eyes and parted lips.
The blinds were partially open, so there was enough light to make out every detail of her.
“I think you’re right. I should do this by myself for the first time.” Her soft tone had me sitting a bit taller. “Well, the touching part.”
Shit, why’d I ever suggest that? “But you’re here?” And now you’re unbuttoning my shirt. I watched her fingers gracefully move down the center of the material, and swallowed.
“When I close my eyes, I just see ...” Her fingers went still. “People and things that I don’t want to see or think about. It’s distracting.” She lifted her eyes back to mine, resuming with the buttons. “But when I’m around you, I forget it all. I feel at peace.”
I make you feel at peace? That was probably the best compliment I’d ever been given. “What are you asking me?”
I needed clarity here. For her to be pretty damn specific about what she wanted from me. I didn’t want to fuck this up. Say or do the wrong thing.
“Do you want to ...” I shockingly managed to lift only one brow. “... in front of me?” My normally vulgar mouth was failing me. A glitch in the matrix. At least, in my head, since she was standing in my room unbuttoning my shirt.
“Yes. I was hoping that’d be okay?” She finished the job of killing me with those buttons but left the shirt on. Her tits were hidden, but I could see her soft, flat stomach and her pale-pink underwear.
“Take those off. Leave the shirt on.” The commands ripped from my mouth of their own volition. And I was back online. Resumed normal programming of being a man in lust in front of a gorgeous, nearly naked woman.
When she went to hook her fingers at the waistband of the pink silk, the shirt opened more, allowing me to see one of her breasts. My fingers curled into my palms as I took in her golden-tan skin and her taut, hard nipple; her full, round tit that was perfect for my hand.
My gaze traveled down, tracking her movement as she followed my order and let her panties fall to her ankles. She stepped out of them, toeing them to the side.
I brought my fist to my crotch and pressed down on my erection, the pain unbearable there at the sight of her bare cunt. “Would you like me to keep telling you what to do?” Would I be able to sit here and watch her finger fuck herself and not blow my load?
“Yes, s-ss ...” Her eyes went to the floor as she bit her lip before peering at me again.
“Yes, please.” I was pretty sure sir had almost fallen from her mouth, and I had to hold back my curiosity and not ask why she clearly disliked that word.
And if Ezra had anything to do with it, I was going to see red again and forget about my blue balls.
“No going back. Just forward, okay?” Maybe I was saying that for myself, too. “Don’t focus on remembering how you used to touch yourself. Do what feels good now. Here, with me. Where it’s safe.”
Her gaze roamed over my chest and down my abdomen before her hand slipped between her thighs.
“Come closer.” I gestured with my head to the wall immediately off to my left. “Here.” That’d place five feet of space between us. Safe enough for me not to reach out and touch her myself.
She did as I asked and circled the bed, and the light from the window on the other side of the room lit her up like the angel she was.
I shifted my legs around so my feet hit the floor and set my fists on either side of me. “Open my shirt wider so I can see you better.” My voice was raw and scratchy, need hijacking everything.
She did as I asked, and any blood left in my head rushed all the way down to my cock. “Perfect. My God.” I swallowed. “You’re beautiful.” I committed the image of her so I could hold on to it forever. “Are you wet?”
“Very,” she mouthed.
“Show me,” I grunted, trying to sequester the primal urges dying to come out and take over. “Stick your fingers inside yourself and drag your arousal over you.”
She shifted one shirttail around behind her, pinning the material between her body and the wall to give me a better look at what she was about to do. Then she proceeded to do the same with the other side of the shirt.
The moment she slipped her middle finger in the place where I belonged, then dragged it to that tight bundle of nerves, I couldn’t help but stand. A knee-jerk reaction to her touch, to her moan.
“How does it feel?” Tightening my hands at my sides to keep my desire locked inside, I forced myself to tear my eyes away from her beautiful, glistening pussy to look up.
She was staring at me, mouth hanging open as if tasting something. Like the fruit of the gods. And it was sinful and sweet. “It feels good,” she whispered.
I lowered my gaze again. “Palm your breast with your other hand while you touch yourself. Pretend it’s me. How would you want me to touch you? Gentle? Hard?”
My sweet girl held her breast as if it weighed as much as my hard cock did right now. Then she rolled her nipple between her fingers and thumb. “Like this. Maybe use your tongue, too.”
“Oh?” Now I was the one breathing hard, and I wasn’t even moving. Just a block of steel as I stood there dying on the inside, watching her touch herself without me. “That’s what you want, huh?”
“Yes,” she breathed out.
“And between your legs. Want my tongue there, too?”
“God, yes,” she murmured, her breaths quickening.
I dropped my eyes between her silky thighs again, finding her strumming herself faster—also finding my sanity gone. My control, also MIA.
I had to do something, something different, before I snapped.
“You need to see yourself,” I said, making up my mind.
I’d use any excuse to get close to her. “Stop,” I ordered before reaching for the wrist that was close to her breast. “Come with me.” Without waiting for her to understand, I gently tugged her, guiding her to follow me to the mirror over the dresser.
I had her stand in front of me and brought the shirt back, tucking it between our bodies so she could have a better look. Her hands were at her sides, eyes closed.
“Look at yourself. Look how fucking beautiful you are. You need to watch yourself come.” Before I beg you to let me take over.
She shifted her ass back and rotated her hips while opening her eyes to catch mine in the mirror.
“If you don’t want me to fuck this ass, I’d stop doing that,” I nearly snarled.
“Mmm.” She bit her lip for a moment to screw with me. “That sounds painful.” She brought her hand between her legs again.
“I’d make it feel good, don’t worry.” I leaned forward, drawing my erection tight against her.
“Now, be a good girl and get off before I change my mind about behaving.” I swallowed, shooting my eyes down her soft belly to her clit.
The woman was soaked, and I could practically taste her arousal on my tongue.
“Please,” I begged. “Behave so I can behave.” My voice broke that time, the need to feel her overwhelming.
I shifted my hands to her waist and held her against me.
“Come for me. I need you to do that for you, for me—for us.”
For us. Why’d that sound so fucking good?
“Yes, s-s ...” There it was again. The word she couldn’t say, and I was going lose my mind thinking about why.
“I don’t need to hear that, it’s okay.”
“But—”
“No. This is about you. About you making yourself feel good.” And giving me a heart attack, but it’d be worth it. Every second. I tightened my hold on her hips, wishing, praying, hoping like some sick fuck I could touch more of her.
I’d sell my soul for five minutes with her if my soul had any value, but the devil already owned it. It was taken during war, so I didn’t have it to give.
She ground her ass against my cock, drawing me back to the moment. “Do I need to warn you again what I’ll do with that ass?”
“As long as you fuck my pussy first, you can do whatever you want with me, to me, and—” She let go of her words when her orgasm built inside her to the point she couldn’t talk.
And I was here for it.
She looped her arm back and around my neck, her tits going forward, back arching, as her stomach visibly clenched with every breathy moan.
“Yes, oh yes, yes, yes, yes.” She rubbed herself harder. Faster. Grinding against me with each thrust of her two fingers between her legs. “Yesssss.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’d never witnessed anything more beautiful in all my life than this woman coming.
I let go of her hips, moved her arm down from around my neck, and circled her. “Seraphina?”
“Yes?” she whisper-cried, still coming down from her orgasm.
“I’m going to kiss you now, okay?”
The second she began to nod, I took that as my okay and snatched her face between my palms and slanted my mouth over hers.
She moaned, and I captured the sound with my tongue and parted her lips to taste more of her.
Her hands went to my forearms, holding me like a lifeline, the same way I held her face.
I had to slow down.
Calm down.
Not fuck her mouth the way I wanted to.
But I was ravenous and spinning out, and she was matching my energy. My pace. My hunger. My peace.
She arched into me, drawing her bare pussy against my jeans, and fuck the material between us.
I kept kissing her with everything I never knew I had in me as she continued to rock against me as if chasing another orgasm, or maybe riding out her last one.
On the edge of exploding, I finally pulled back. Nose to nose, I stared into her eyes, my thumbs sweeping in small circles over her cheeks as she kept hold of my tense forearms.
“Let me watch you now.” She slid her tongue along her swollen lips.
I smirked. “I can’t. Not with you in here.”
“Why not?”
“I’m always in control. Always. Except with you. I barely have any when it comes to you,” I admitted. “I can’t have my cock out with your pussy bare. Only two things would stop me from fucking you: you telling me no or an act of God. Maybe not even the second.”
“But I—”
“You won’t say no.” I narrowed my eyes, knowing damn well I was right, and she knew it. She’d let me fill her. Beg me to, in fact. I’d be at her mercy, not the other way around. “Go change. I’ll handle my situation and meet you in the kitchen.”
I dropped my hands, and she let me go. I pulled my shirt together, unable to handle the view of her tits and not touch her right now.
“You’re sure?”
“Yes.” I sighed, hating myself for this, but doing the right thing didn’t always feel good.
I slipped my hand through her hair and slanted my mouth by her ear and promised, “The next time you get off, though, it won’t be with your hand or mine.
It’ll be with my mouth, and then it’ll be with my cock. ”