12. Avery
12
AVERY
“ W hat the fuck is wrong with me?”
I drop my head into my hands with a groan.
“Girl, there’s nothing wrong with you.” Mia snorts.
“Did you not hear a single thing I just told you? I made out with my teacher.”
“And? You’re both consenting adults, aren’t you?”
“Yes, but?—”
“No buts.”
“Yes, buts,” I argue. “It’s extremely unethical and I never should have forced myself on him like that.”
“Okay, first things first. You didn’t force yourself on him.”
I start to protest, but at Mia’s glare, I clamp my mouth shut tight and study my plate.
I must be in trouble. She usually only gives Henri that type of look.
“From what I heard, it seems like the feelings were mutual. He clearly had the hots for you, and you’ve been drooling over all three of your teachers since you met them. Both of you made moves in that situation. That sounds like plain old lust to me.”
“I appreciate what you’re saying. I really do, but I was the one who kissed him first,” I say, trying to make her see sense.
“Did he or did he not pin you against the counter and murmur sweet nothings in your ear?” Mia crosses her arms.
“Sure, but?—”
“No more buts.”
“Why aren’t you listening to me?” I demand. “I was the one who couldn’t keep my eyes off him. I was teasing him and laughing with him like he was my friend instead of my teacher. I was the one who slipped up and said something sexual. I was the one wearing tight jeans and an inappropriate top under my apron. I made it impossible for him not to look at me in those clothes. I should have dressed more conservatively.
“Not to mention he gave me plenty of opportunity to stop things and keep him from risking his job. And what did I go and do? I kissed him instead of pushing him away. I encouraged him by the lack of control over my own behavior. It is entirely my fault he felt tempted to do what he did. I should have been better.”
I’m breathing hard like I just finished a race. My heart is racing along at a frightening pace and my face feels hot. I’m honestly surprised the entire diner isn’t staring at us after that outburst.
Great job, Avery. Your first night out with a friend in two years, and here you are having a very public tantrum. She’s definitely going to want to do this again.
Guilt floods my body.
“I’m sorry I screamed at you,” I say, hanging my head.
“Avery, you weren’t even anywhere close to screaming. You were barely louder than your regular speaking voice.”
My voice is small. “But I was mad at you.”
She smiles sadly at me.
“You had every right to be mad at me. I kept steamrolling over you. That was really shitty of me.”
“I still shouldn’t have been so mean to you even if I wasn’t yelling.”
“Your expressing a need is not even close to the same thing as being mean. You are allowed to take up space. You’re allowed to tell me when I’m doing something that upsets you. In fact, I expect you to do that because you’re my friend. Friends are supposed to be honest with each other with all their feelings, not just the happy ones.” She sighs. “I’m so sorry he made you feel like you couldn’t do that.”
Every time I feel like I’m doing better, something always comes along to remind me of how irreparably broken I am.
Why can’t I seem to step out from the long shadow Kyle and his family have cast over my life?
When is this ever going to end?
“I’ll do my best to remember that,” I promise her.
“And I promise to give you the space to talk. Is there anything else you wanted to say about it all, because there’s something I feel like I have to tell you.”
“I think that’s it. Go ahead.”
“You’re not responsible for any man’s actions. It doesn’t matter what you’re wearing or if you’re treating him like a friend or not. None of those things can make any man do anything they didn’t want to do already,” she says earnestly.
I dab at the tears welling up in my eyes.
“So help me, if you cry all that makeup off that I spent like forty-five minutes on?—”
“You’re going to turn the car around and go home?”
“Damn straight.”
We both burst into giggles.
“How is it you always know how to cheer me up?” I ask.
“It’s a gift.” Mia shrugs. “But seriously, it sounds like all that happened was two people who liked each other acting on those feelings. The fact that he waited and gave you space to change your mind tells me he’s a good guy. Sure, the teacher thing is a little dicey, but you’re both adults and it’s not like he’s the one who awards the certificate you’re going for. It goes to a review board, doesn’t it?”
“It does.” I nod. “I still don’t think it should happen again on campus, though.”
“So you’d like it to happen again somewhere else?” Mia asks, waggling her eyebrows suggestively.
I bite my lip to try to keep from smiling.
She gasps. “You so do.”
“I didn’t even say anything,”
“Girl, you didn’t have to.”
“It’s not like I’ll have another opportunity to find out,” I say, shaking my head.
“Why not?”
“Well, the next time I came to class, I just felt so awkward and weird about it. He tried to talk to me about what happened, but I wasn’t having it. And I just… Ugh. I was so stiff and formal and definitely more than a little rude to him. I’m pretty sure that effectively killed any spark that might have been there.”
“Well, that’s what the club is for tonight. Not sure we’ll be able to find you a sexy, successful chef, but with me as a wing woman, I’m sure we can find you someone to occupy your time.” Mia winks.
It doesn’t take much longer for us to finish up and get to the club, but I’m still fighting a yawn as we grab a table near the bar. I pull out my phone to check the time, certain that it must be close to midnight. It has to be if I’m this tired already.
Ten o’clock.
A kick in the teeth would have felt better to me than seeing that number.
I must be the only twenty-one-year-old in the world who has the bedtime habits of a ninety-year-old mee-maw.
A waitress is at our table so quickly it's like she appears out of nowhere.
“What can I get you, Ladies?”
“I'll have a Manhattan,” Mia says decisively.
I don't even know what that is. Damn, I really do need to get out more.
“Do you have anything with coffee in it?” I ask hopefully.
“There's the White Russian, Espresso Martini, Mudslide Cocktail… Any of those strike your fancy? I can always just get you a coffee too.”
“I'll go with the Mudslide.” I smile.
The bartenders must really know their stuff because even though the crowd is three deep at the bar, our drinks are there in less than five minutes.
I take a cautious sip.
“I think this might be my new favorite thing.”
“With your coffee addiction, I’m surprised you haven't had one before,” says Mia.
I fidget uncomfortably in my seat.
“My mom took me out to a wine tasting on the day of my twenty-first, but this is my first time in a club. I'd always meant to take you up on your offer to go out, but with Leo and work, I was just too tired. Honestly, I probably wouldn't have come tonight if Mom hadn't bullied me into it.”
“Well, I'm glad she did.” Mia smiles. “I know we can't do it every weekend, but maybe we can make a point of going out once a month or something?”
“Let's see how tonight goes first.”
The cocktail must have done a good job loosening me up because when Mia drags me toward the dance floor, I don't resist.
We dive into the crowd and lose ourselves in the music. A few men drift into our orbit, but they only last a song or two before Mia dances me away.
The guys seem to mind, but I don't. I can't remember the last time I had this much fun with a friend.
Honestly, it was probably my senior prom.
At least this time, I don't have to wear a fancy dress that makes me look like a cupcake.
I shudder at the memory of that pink monstrosity.
Kyle had picked it for me because “If I'm going to be a senator someday, I can't have photos leaking of my future wife dressed like a tramp at a formal event.”
How had I been so blind?
Stay in the present, Avery. There's nothing he can do to you now.
I look down at the scarlet bodycon dress Mia lent me and grin.
Kyle would have loathed this dress.
That alone makes me want to buy one in every color.
The kicker is that it’s not even that scandalous of an outfit. Sure, it leaves little to the imagination, but there’s nothing hanging out that would get me arrested for indecent exposure. Hell, I’m more covered up than half the people in here—men included.
For the first time in years, I’m wearing something that doesn’t make me look like a sixty-year-old senator, a little girl, or the exhausted mom of a toddler.
I look hot, and from the looks I’ve been getting, a lot of people in this club seem to think the same thing.
It might be delusionally arrogant, but I bet if I showed an interest, there would be quite a few people interested in taking me home with them.
I mean, I don’t want to have sex with a random stranger, but the fact that I probably could if I wanted to makes me feel powerful.
That’s when I realize it’s not the one measly cocktail I had but the sweet taste of my own freedom making me feel drunk.
Maybe I will do this every month.
“Don’t look now, but there’s a guy headed directly toward us and I think he’s coming over for you,” Mia says.
“There have been tons of guys all evening.” I roll my eyes. “You didn’t announce them. What’s the big deal with this one?”
“Well, he’s the hottest guy I’ve seen in here all night, so I think that’s noteworthy.”
“Fair enough. But what makes you think he’s coming for me instead of you? You’re gorgeous.”
“The fact that he can’t seem to take his eyes off your ass is a pretty big clue.” Mia laughs. “Okay, I’m going to twirl you so you can take a peek without making it weird.”
All the blood drains from my face when I see who it is.
“Hey, what’s wrong? You look like you’re going to faint,” Mia says once I’m facing her again. “Is it one of Kyle’s friends or something? Do I need to run interference so you can get out of here?”
She starts dancing me further away.
“No, it’s not that,” I say, stopping her. “That’s one of my teachers.”
“ The teacher? The one that you?—”
“Yep.”
She lets out a low whistle. “You must have the self-control of a saint. There’s no way I wouldn’t have jumped his bones at that first meeting.”
“Is he still heading toward us?”
“Yep.”
“What do you think he wants?”
“If you have to ask, you might not be old enough to find out,” Mia teases.
A warm hand on my shoulder makes me jump.
“I hate to say it because it’s so cliché, but what’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?”
His voice sends a tingle down my spine, and with the way Mia’s looking at me, I know I’m blushing.
“Just having a girls’ night,” I say, gesturing at Mia
He turns toward her and extends a hand. “I’m Wesley, and you are?”
“Leaving.” She grins. “Have fun, you two.”
Mia vanishes into the crowd before I can stop her—which I’m sure was her goal.
I know I should say something to him, but I can’t seem to manage to make my mouth work now that Mia’s gone.
I manage to unglue my tongue at the same time he starts to talk.
“How are?—”
“Are you?—”
“Go ahead,” I say.
“You sure?” At my nod, he continues. “Did I take advantage of you in any way? Is that why last week you were?—”
“I’d been worried I was the one who took advantage of you. And there’s your position with the school, and I didn’t want you to get in trouble because of me.”
His face softens and he draws me closer.
“So I didn’t do anything you didn’t want?”
“Not in the slightest. But the school?—”
“What they don’t know can’t hurt either of us.” Wesley smiles. “So, are you going to dance with me or are we going to keep standing here staring at each other?”
“If you’re sure,” I say, suddenly shy.
He spins me so I’m facing away from him. I barely have time to register that change before he grabs my hips and jerks me against him. I nearly moan from the way his length feels pressing into my ass.
Normally, I don’t like being manhandled, but I love the feel of his hands on me as he controls our movements.
“Do you have any clue what it was like for me to have to see all those men put their hands on you?”
He nips my earlobe. I press my hips harder against him because even though there’s no space between us, we’re still not close enough.
“The only thing that kept me from coming over sooner was the thought that I’d overstepped a boundary two weeks ago. And then you go and tell me you enjoyed it? So now I have to live with the fact that the whole time I spent watching them touch you, it could have been my hands on you. I ought to spank you.”
My breath catches in my throat at the thought.
“Maybe one for every guy I danced with who wasn’t you? Would that be fair?” I ask.
He whips me around to face him so fast I nearly see stars.
“What did you say?” he asks, eyes dark with need.
My mind goes blank under the heat of his gaze.
His hands drift up so that his thumbs are just brushing the undersides of my breasts.
“Come on, don’t get shy on me now. Look me in the eyes and tell me what you just said,” he demands.
I swallow hard. “I said that it would be fair if I got one for every other guy I danced with tonight.”
“Good girl.”
Wesley slides his leg between my thighs, and I nearly come right then and there just from the friction of his thigh pressing against my center. I roll my hips harder against him, chasing that feeling.
“Would you like that?” His voice is gravelly with desire. “You want me to take you home and bend you over my knee and spank that ass for every boy you let touch you tonight?”
Suddenly, the sensation of his leg against me feels too good. My breath is ragged. I feel my muscles tighten as the heat in my core tips past the point of no return.
“Fuck. Wesley, I’m about to—” I gasp. “I’m not quiet.”
He kisses me hard, muffling my cries as the orgasm rips through me.
We’re both breathing hard when we break the kiss.
Then the reality of what just happened hits me like a scooter to the ankle.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for?—”
“That might have been the sexiest thing I’ve seen in my life,” Wesley says, cutting me off. “I don’t think I can stop after only seeing you come once. Come home with me?”