Chapter Twelve #2
Zara shrugged. “It is my fault,” she said. “I wanted the man to marry me. I did not care that I was trying to curb his nature in order to do it. He likes women and does not see his marriage to me as an obstacle to that.”
Eiselle frowned. “Well, I do not like it. Does Bric know?”
“They all know.”
Eiselle was quite unhappy by the sad tale. “Then I cannot imagine he approves of it. What a terrible thing for Pearce to do.”
Zara put her hand on Eiselle’s arm. “Please, do not tell Bric that I told you,” she said. “I do not want him to know because it might get back to Pearce, and I do not want my husband to know that it bothers me. That would make me ashamed.”
“What do you mean?”
Zara glanced up, seeing the training field off to their right, where her husband was standing on the fringes, watching Bric train some newer recruits.
“It is that dignity I spoke of,” she said quietly.
“Angela had none in childbirth, and she continues to have none. For me, it is different – dignity is all that I have. As long as Pearce does not know his behavior bothers me, then I retain my dignity. But the moment he knows I am distressed by his behavior, it is as if I lose any semblance of pride. I lose my dignity. Therefore, I have to pretend his behavior does not bother me because only then can I live with it. I do not know if that makes any sense, but it is the way I feel.”
She was right – it didn’t make much sense to Eiselle, but she didn’t argue with her friend. “I cannot pretend to know how you feel,” she said. “All I know is that if Bric did such things to me, I could not stand it. It would destroy me.”
Zara looked at her. “That is because you love him,” she said. “Everyone knows that. We can all see it. And Bric loves you; he would never do anything to hurt you. It is different with Pearce and me – there is much love lost between us. I wish I could fix it, but I cannot.”
“Then you do not love him any longer?”
“I do. I always will. But everything that fed that love is gone until my feelings are but fragile shells of what once were. They are hollow. But that does not mean they are gone.”
Eiselle simply patted her on the arm, unsure what to say to her.
Zara’s relationship with Pearce was complicated, at best. But Zara was right about one thing – Eiselle loved Bric.
Mo chroí, he called her. My heart. It was the sweetest thing she could imagine, and even thinking of her husband made her heart flutter and her spirit soar.
She felt as if she were walking on clouds, every moment of every day.
This had been her life for the past several weeks and it was as if she couldn’t remember her life before Bric.
Now, all she cared about, or looked forward to, was her husband.
He had become her entire life.
They were nearing the training field now and they could see the men crowded up around it. These were new recruits, from what Bric had said, men that had been gleaned from the surrounding countryside, farmers and laborers who were looking for something better in life.
De Winter had a great reputation for being fair, and schooling men, and Bric was a huge part of that reputation.
She knew that he trained the men because he spoke of them every night when he was finished with his duties.
Sometimes they would sit with Pearce and Mylo and Daveigh, eating their evening meal and speaking of the new recruits, but sometimes she and Bric would sit off on their own and talk quietly.
Sometimes they would even take their meal in their chamber so they could be alone, and those meals always ended up with making love in their cozy bed.
It was those meals that Eiselle liked best.
Life at Narborough went on after the battle at Holdingham, with Bric returning to duty and Eiselle finding her own place at the castle.
Usually, she stayed to the keep and went about her duties for Keeva, which mostly consisted of sewing or overseeing the servants in their duties, as Eiselle had a kind but firm hand when it came to dealing with the servants.
But today, Eiselle had come to see her husband because she had been repairing some clothing for the man and needed to have him try them on so she could finish them.
It was true that she could wait until he was finished for the day, but he was usually so exhausted that she didn’t want to bother him with such things.
Moreover, she didn’t usually see him during the day and today, she was missing him just a little.
Even just a glimpse of the man or a few words from him would mean the world to her.
So, she wandered out into the outer bailey and, even now, stood well away from the group of men who were in training.
Zara stood with her for a few moments, but Pearce was also watching Bric and her gaze lingered on her husband before she muttered an excuse and headed off.
When Eiselle last saw her, she was heading in the direction of the kitchens.
She thought it rather sad that Zara didn’t feel the excitement for her husband that Eiselle felt for hers, but given the state of their marriage, Eiselle didn’t blame her.
But she also refused to let the woman bring down her mood, in any fashion, so she remained in place as she watched Bric demonstrate a few hand-to-hand combat skills.
Even just a few weeks ago, no one knew if Bric would be capable of continuing his duties at Narborough as he had. No one knew what the future would hold but, these days, the future was bright and beautiful as far as Eiselle was concerned.
Bric was back, as strong as he ever was, and she loved watching him work with the men.
It made her heart swell with pride. She was so fixated on Bric that she hardly noticed Mylo as he walked in front of her, heading towards the troop house.
He said something to her but she didn’t respond, so he stopped and said it again.
Only then did Eiselle realize he was speaking to her and she grinned, embarrassed that he’d caught her daydreaming.
“I am sorry,” she said. “I did not hear you, Mylo.”
Mylo smiled. “I know,” he said. “Bric often has that same look when it comes to you.”
Eiselle thought that was a sweet observation. “And he does not hear you, either?”
“Sometimes, he does not. I am coming to think it does no good to speak to either of you these days.
Eiselle giggled. “Again, my apologies,” she said. “I did hear your voice, but not your words. If you greeted me, then I shall say good morn to you, but if you did not greet me, then give me a moment to pretend I know what you said. I will figure something out.”
It was Mylo’s turn to laugh. “Not to worry, Lady MacRohan,” he said. “I know that you are watching Bric and that is exactly where your attention should be. I simply wished you a good day.”
Eiselle dipped her head politely, smiling at the man as he walked away.
She liked Mylo; he was easy-going, and very humorous when the mood struck him, and she honestly couldn’t see a man like that married to a woman like Angela, but she’d never asked why he married her.
As she pondered Mylo being married to a very odd woman, a voice suddenly caught her off guard.
“Greetings, Lady MacRohan.”
She yelped, startled that Bric had snuck up beside her while she hadn’t been paying attention. As soon as she saw who it was, she giggled uncontrollably.
“You startled me,” she gasped, hand on her chest as if to still her frazzled heart. “I did not see you approach.”
Bric stood next to her, his eyes twinkling. “I know,” he said. “You were too busy looking at Mylo, whom I shall now have to kill because he has your attention.”
Eiselle wrapped her hands around his big forearm in an affectionate gesture. “He does not have my attention,” she said. “If you must know, I was wondering how a nice man like Mylo is married to a woman like Angela. That marriage puzzles me.”
Bric’s gaze flicked over to Mylo, who was still walking away. “There is no great mystery,” he said. “It was arranged. And Angela seemed like a nice enough lass when she first came to Narborough. It was after she gave birth to that brat that her manner changed.”
Eiselle nodded in understanding. But she didn’t want to talk about Mylo and Angela. She was far more interested in her husband and her grip on him tightened as she smiled up at him.
In public for all to see, this was the most affection they would display.
No hugging, no kissing, because as Bric explained it once, that was something only for the two of them to experience.
He didn’t want to share his happiness with everyone at Narborough.
But Eiselle couldn’t keep her hands off him, making it very difficult for Bric not to reciprocate.
“Then I feel sorry for Mylo,” she said. “But I do not wish to speak of him. I would like to speak of you; has your day been pleasant so far?”
He smiled down at her. God, it was so incredibly easy to swallow her up in his arms and kiss her until she swooned, and he found himself fighting off the urge. His arms fairly ached to hold her.
“It has been uneventful,” he said. “Some of the new recruits are as stupid as tree stumps, so progress has been slow. With all of the men who were put out of commission at Holdingham, we desperately need healthy men to fill their positions, so it is going to take some work to make these men battle-ready.”
Eiselle’s smile faded. “And you?” she asked quietly. “Do you feel battle-ready?”
He lifted his big shoulders, averting his gaze. “I am always battle-ready,” he said. “I was born with a sword in my hand. That has not changed.”