Chapter Eight #5
Alixandrea leaned towards him. “Did you respect her for her thoughts?”
He looked at her, mildly outraged. “Of course I did. Audrey was a brilliant woman with a great mind. Her guidance was unparalleled.”
On his arm, Alixandrea’s hand tightened. “Then tell me this, and you must be completely honest. What would she say to you if she saw that you were grieving like this for her twelve years after her death? Would it please her? Would she wish it of you?”
He looked at her as if she had lost her mind. “What do you mean?”
“You know exactly what I mean. What do you think Lady Audrey would say if she knew you had made attempts on your own life out of grief?” When Adam refused to answer, she did it for him.
“If she is the kind of woman you say she is, then she would be furious with you. Absolutely furious. Don’t you think? ”
Still, Adam refused to answer. He was looking at his lap, the ground, anything but Alixandrea’s piercing bronze eyes.
She shook him gently. “Look at the situation from another point of view. What if it had been you who had perished? Would you want Audrey to spend the next twelve years destroying her life because of her grief? Would you want her to commit suicide because of it? Of course you would not. Why would you think that she would be pleased by the inordinate grief you have shown over her passing? I have a feeling she would go to fisticuffs over it.”
Adam did not know what to say. He was speechless, confused. He stood up sharply, yanking his arm out from under her hand. He stood on the edge of the porch roof, watching the rain fall. Alixandrea stood up and went to him.
“Please do not think me harsh,” she said quietly.
“’Tis only that I know that if I were to die, I should not want my husband to waste his life grieving.
That would only hurt my memory, clouding it with agony and pushing aside all of the happiness we had together.
I would want him to live and love again.
To think that perhaps I could have taught him that during my life would have made it all worthwhile. ”
Adam did look at her, then. “Taught him what?”
She smiled, a beautifully soft and knowing gesture. “That life is a gift to share with others, for too quickly it is gone.”
Adam continued to stare at her, his dark eyes glittering with unchecked emotion.
After a moment, he turned and disappeared into the house.
Alixandrea watched him go, her gaze falling on Matthew when Adam left her sight.
Matthew was still holding her cloak; he held it out to her when their eyes met. She smiled weakly.
“I do not know if I did any good at all, but I tried,” she turned so that he could put her cloak around her shoulders. “Sometimes it takes a stranger to help where family cannot.”
He leaned down, putting his lips against her ear. “You are family.”
His hot breath made chills race down her spine. “Only in the marital sense. He does not truly know me yet.”
“He will.”
His arms went around her, creating a safe, warm envelope against the rain and chill weather.
So easily, they were coming to respond to one another, his arms around her and her contentment in his touch.
They stood a moment, watching the water fall across the great green expanse of the garden.
It looked like a sea of glittering emeralds.
Alixandrea snuggled back against him, feeling his hard armor against her but comforted just the same.
“So your aunt expects babies right away, does she?”
Matthew laughed softly in her ear. “I was hoping you had forgotten about that.”
She joined in his laughter. “How could I? The woman basically told me that I am a brood mare. I am not sure how to respond.”
Matthew cradled her, the falling rain reflecting in his blue eyes. “You are most certainly not a brood mare. But an heir would not be unappreciated. Besides, the fun is in the practice.”
Her cheeks grew warm. Though bodily she was no longer a maiden, in her mind, she was still relatively innocent.
“We shall see.” She pulled herself gently out his embrace. “Shall we go back inside? I am famished.”
He took her by the elbow, guiding her towards the door. “My aunt wants babies before we leave this house. That doesn’t give us much time. I think we should go practice instead of eating.”
“Matthew!” she scolded softly, blushing furiously as he laughed. “Be quiet. Someone will hear you.”
He grabbed her just inside the doorway. It was dark and chilly, the only light from the gray skies outside the door. His blue eyes bore into her.
“I doubt there is anyone in this house that believes I have not yet consummated this marriage,” he growled.
“But if there is anyone foolish enough to think that I have not yet taken what belongs to me, then God have mercy. One only has to look at us to know that this marriage, however short it has been, agrees with us both.”
His warmth and closeness made her giddy, her heart thumping loudly against her ribs. She was sure he could hear it. “It does, doesn’t it?” she whispered, watching him nod. “But… well, I was wondering one thing.”
“What is that?”
She made a face as she thought about how she would phrase her concern. “It is my understanding that women; that is, some women, wear a wedding ring to signify that they are, in fact, married. Would it be too much to ask for a small one?”
Gazing into her lovely face, Matthew began to feel the familiar guilt creeping into his veins.
But instead of keeping his thoughts to himself about it, he found himself telling her.
“You must forgive me for being so poorly planned for this marriage,” he said.
“I never even thought to buy you a ring.”
“If you feel strongly about it, you do not have to.”
“I feel strongly that I have been a fool about this entire situation, but you already know that. I must see the king on the morrow but when I am finished, I will take you to the Street of the Jewelers in London and buy you any ring you wish.”
She smiled. “Truly?”
He kissed her on the tip of her nose. “Truly.”
“But what about you?”
“What about me?”
“Men have been known to wear wedding rings as well. Will you not wear one?”
Three days ago, she would have never asked him such a question. But today saw an entirely different situation and she felt comfortable asking him. He paused a moment, thoughtfully, before slowly nodding his head.
“If you wish it.”
“Only if you do.”
His easy smile spread quickly across his face. “How could I not? Every man in London will know I have married the most beautiful woman in the land.”
Her smile, oddly, faded as she continued to look up at him.
“And that is another question that has been on my mind. What if I wasn’t beautiful?
What if I was the horrible hag you had expected?
Would you still wear one? Or do you only wear it because I am beautiful and you want to show everyone how well you married? ”
It was an astute query; he should have expected it.
She was not only lovely, she was intelligent, and seeing his quick change of heart about their marriage over the past few days, she should have rightly wondered to the cause.
It made him feel shallow. Perhaps he was, but there was more to it than that.
“Mayhap that would have been the truth the day I met you,” he admitted quietly.
“But over the past few days I have come to see that your beauty is not only on the outside, it runs very deep within. Physical beauty isn’t much without the beauty of soul to go with it and you, my lady, have both.
When I say you are beautiful, I mean that you are beautiful everywhere.
I told you that I believed you to be a lady of good character. I wasn’t wrong.”
Once again, he managed to say the correct thing. She felt foolish for even questioning him. “May I say, then, that I am very proud to be Lady Wellesbourne.”
“And I am very proud to be your husband.”
It was a sweet moment. She chuckled softly. “You would not have said that a week ago.”
“A week ago I was an idiot.”
Timidly, she reached up to touch his stubbled face.
Even without his conventional male beauty, there was something extraordinarily attractive about the man that grew on her by the moment.
The French term for it was un certain quelque chose; a certain something.
Matthew, from nearly the moment she had met him, had that certain something that made him irresistible.
When she touched his face, he closed his eyes at the first flutter of her fingertips.
It was an oddly invigorating gesture. Both hands came up and she gently clasped both sides of his face, studying this man whom she was married to.
Matthew did not even open his eyes; he simply leaned forward and kissed her.
His lips were soft and warm, his tongue demanding entry into her mouth.
She responded to him more quickly this time, becoming more comfortable with his attention.
She had fast learned to like it. He picked her up, holding her against him, her feet dangling off the floor as their kisses became more heated.
The small entry they were standing in was dark, cold, and empty.
There was a tiny cloakroom off to the left; he pulled her into it and closed the door.
He tossed her cloak off, letting it fall to the floor. He wore full armor, putting him in a logistically difficult position for what he wanted to accomplish. But he backed her against the wall, continuing to kiss her as he went to work on his armor.
Alixandrea, swept up by the fervor that was swirling between them, instinctively began to help him with his pieces of protection. It was strange that neither one of them said a word, each one knowing what the other was thinking, each one a willing participant.