Chapter Thirteen #2
Alixandrea did not know all of the facts or reasons, but one thing was clear; Matthew needed her support, not her distress. She squeezed his hand tightly for strength, for comfort. He responded by squeezing so tightly that he almost broke her fingers.
“Lady Audrey has never seen a tournament before,” Alixandrea said to Matthew. “Surely you are honored that she has chosen to make your match the very first.”
Matthew cleared his throat; even so, his voice was hoarse when he spoke. “Of course,” he said. His eyes were riveted to the child. “Is this your first time to London also, my lady?”
Audrey was, in every sense of the word, an adorable child. She smiled, displaying a shadow of her father’s dimples.
“It is,” she said. “Mother and I came to visit and we saw that Cousin Caroline was here also. Yesterday, we saw a circus with monkeys and dancing horses, and today I am going to see a tournament!”
Matthew looked as if he were going to cry. Alixandrea looked at him, watching his eyes grow moist at the first sound of his child’s voice, and she hastened to lighten the mood for his sake. He was an emotional man as it was and she did not want him to embarrass himself.
“Surely you must come and visit us at the Tower,” she said to Audrey, to Mena. “Where are you staying?”
“In town, with my husband’s sister,” Mena said; she, too, was having a difficult time looking at anything other than Matthew. “She lives a few miles from the Tower.”
“Is your husband here?”
“He has business at the ports.” Mena tore her gaze away from Matthew long enough to look at Alixandrea.
“He is a merchant, my lady. Usually he comes to London on buying trips alone, but this time, we begged to come and he agreed. We saw the Wellesbourne army arrive two days ago and I sent word to the Tower to see if Caroline was in residence. Fortunately, she was. I have not seen my cousin in many years, and she has never even met Audrey.”
It explained a great deal. Alixandrea felt no anger, no jealousy, only tremendous pity for her husband and the little girl he never knew.
She thought that, perhaps, Matthew needed a private word with Mena.
It would seem that much had happened he did not know about, and she had not told him.
She was undisturbed at the thought of leaving them alone for a few moments.
It was the right thing to do. Abruptly, she stood up.
“Audrey, do you like custard?” she asked.
The little girl nodded. “Aye.”
Alixandrea held out a hand to her. “May I take you to the custard vendor? He is just around the corner. I saw him earlier. I have been dying for sweets all morning. Would you like to come?”
Audrey jumped up eagerly, but rightfully remembered her mother. “Mummy, may I?”
Mena was clearly unsteady, but she nodded. “Not too much, darling. It will give you a belly ache.”
Alixandrea took the little girl’s hand, simultaneously reaching down for Caroline. “You, too, my lady,” she said crisply. “I may want more than one sweet and I will need more hands to carry them. Come along.”
Caroline did not argue. She bolted up from her seat and dutifully followed Alixandrea and Audrey from the lists.
Suddenly alone, Matthew and Mena simply sat there, each one of them not daring to look at the other just yet. It was an odd and painful silence that filled the air between them until Matthew finally shattered the spell.
“My God, Mena,” he breathed. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
She smiled, with irony. “Tell you that I was pregnant when we parted or tell you before now that you had a daughter?”
He did look at her, then. “Both,” he hissed. He reached up and unlatched his helm, pulling it off irritably and setting it at his feet. “You should have told me you carried my child. It was my right to know.”
“Why?” she whispered. “You could not marry me. Your father had already betrothed you to Lady Alixandrea. What good would it have done other than to make you miserable and guilty?”
He could not disagree. “At least I could have taken care of you.”
She smiled sadly, shaking her head. “I did not need to be taken care of. I needed a husband and Audrey needed a father.”
“I am her father,” Matthew blurted, then caught himself before he could say too much. He was bordering on anger and resentment. “You even named her Audrey, after my mother.”
She nodded. “Lest you forget, I knew your mother, Matt, and I adored her. She is like my Audrey in every way.”
Matthew did not know if he felt better or worse. He could only imagine his father’s reaction if he knew, a blond girl that looked exactly like his dead wife. But the thought was too overwhelming for him at the moment and he chased it away. His mind was brittle enough.
“And your husband?” he asked. “Does he know the child is not his?”
“He knows,” she said, averting her gaze. “We met after Audrey was born. I told him that my husband had died and he raised Audrey as his own. She has known no other father but him.”
Mathew could see the logic in that but it still hurt. “But she is mine.”
“In blood only, Matt.”
He did not have a good argument to that. He knew she was right but he was struggling against it. “Is… is he good to her?”
“He could not love her more if she was his own flesh. She is very much spoiled.”
Tears sprang to his eyes but he blinked them away, quickly. “She’s beautiful,” he said hoarsely. He looked up at her. “And she’s a Wellesbourne.”
Mena stood her ground. “She is a Cuthbert.”
“She’s my child.”
“She’s my child.”
His emotions were reeling, feeding his mounting frustration. “So you would keep her from me?”
“I will not disturb the only life she has ever known,” Mena said steadily. “Matt, had we not happened to contact Caroline, you still would not know about her. It was my intention that you should not because I know how you are. You are possessive. And I shall not let you take her away from me.”
He softened somewhat. “I do not want to take her away from you. But I think it only right she knows who her real father is.”
“Right for who? For you?’ Mena shook her head. “You must think of Audrey. To tell her that right now would completely disrupt her life. Is that what you want? To upset her so?”
He just sat there, thinking on her words, not wanting to admit she may be right. He reached down and picked up his helm. “Nay,” he breathed. “I would not upset her.”
Mena could see how badly he was hurting. She was hurting, too, but she was also doing what she believed best for her child.
“Perhaps I will tell her someday, Matt,” she said softly. “But not right now. She is too young. She would not understand.”
He could feel the tears and did not try to stop them. He looked up at her, his eyes brimming. “May I at least talk to her?”
Mena reached out and touched his hand; he put his big one over hers. It was simply a comforting touch of old friends. “Of course,” she said softly. “I would encourage you to. She’s a wonderful child.”
He wiped at the tears quickly, struggling to recover what was left of his shattered self-control. Mena, thankful he was calming, removed her hand.
“Your wife seems like a lovely lady,” she said, changing the subject. “She is quite kind.”
“Aye, she is,” Matthew wiped at his nose and plopped his helm back on his head. “I am very fortunate to have married her.”
Mena grinned. “Sorry to say, that is not what you thought ten years ago.”
He looked at her, sharply, but they both knew that she was correct. He broke down in a weak smile. “Indeed. But I was wrong. More wrong than you can know. She is a magnificent woman.”
“Then I wish you all of the happiness in the world,” Mena said sincerely. “May you have many Audreys in the future.”
“Now you sound like Aunt Livia.”
“Is that old bird still alive?”
“Still.”
They shared a nervous laugh just as Alixandrea, Audrey and Caroline returned. Alixandrea’s concerned expression was eased when her husband called her over. She slid her hand into his outstretched one, her gaze moving anxiously between Mena and her husband.
“Is everything well?” she asked him quietly.
He nodded, standing up and kissing her hand more tenderly than she could ever remember.
His blue eyes were warm and loving upon her; she could literally feel his adoration reaching out to embrace her.
But before she could say any more, he looked to Audrey, now happily shoveling custard into her mouth.
His gaze softened as a twinkle came to his eye.
“Young lady, if you have come to see a match, let me see if I can give you a good one,” he said as he moved to the base of the platform. “I shall unseat all of my brothers just for you.”
“And take their horses?” she asked, her mouth full.
He laughed. “So you know something of tournaments, do you?” he said. “Well, I shall try, but I doubt my brother Mark will go down without a fight. He will try to unseat me first.”
“Send him to the ground, my lord,” she instructed, extending her wooden spoon at him imperiously.
“It shall be done.”
Audrey exclaimed gleefully as Matthew mounted his charger and rode off across the field. Alixandrea could not remember ever seeing him so happy about anything.
*
He thrust into her repeatedly, listening to her soft moans with every contact, every hint of friction.
The firelight from the dying hearth illuminated her beautiful breasts as they quivered with every measured stroke he delivered.
It became mesmerizing to watch her move, her eyes closed to the joy of his touch, experiencing the magic he seemed to cast upon her.
Matthew’s hands were on her buttocks, holding her to him as he drove into her time and time again.
Alixandrea’s hands were on his neck, holding him fast as their bodies melded into one heart, one soul.
When he finally found his release, she was able to match him.
Bodies shuddered, sweat glistened, and Matthew gathered her up against him and held her close.