Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
~MAGGIE~
G oddamn it.
God damn it!
I should go straight home so I can stomp around and scream in frustration, then go to the pub once I’ve calmed down a bit.
That’s what I should do.
But that’s not what I’m going to do because I need to vent, and I need someone to validate my feelings.
I’m just so pissed off. I want to punch someone. I want to break things. How dare Kane and Cameron go behind my back and hire an investigator after I specifically told them not to?
It’s not their decision to make!
I come to a screeching stop at the pub and march inside, seeing red.
But I come up short when I see my parents sitting at the bar.
I blink, rubbing my eyes.
“Am I hallucinating?”
“There’s my wee lass,” Da says, and just like that, all of the anger leaves me, and I start to cry.
I didn’t realize how badly I needed to see my parents until just this second.
“Well, what’s the matter?” Ma croons as she hurries over to me and pulls me in for a hug. “There there, darlin’. It can’t be that bad now.”
I can’t reply. I can only cling to her and cry into her shoulder. She leads me to one of the booths, and Ma and I get cozy, snuggled up together. She strokes my hair and whispers soothing words until my sobs subside into soft whimpers.
“I never cry like this,” I manage.
“That might be why you needed it,” she replies and wipes my face with a napkin. “There, now, tell me what has you in such a state.”
“I’m mad.”
“About what, exactly?”
“Your eldest son is a pain in my ass, that’s what.”
Her hand pauses in my hair and then keeps moving again. “And what did Kane do?”
Why do I feel like I’m five again and tattling on my brother?
I sit up and reach for more napkins to wipe at my face and blow my nose. “You know I did my best to move on after Joey died. After everything that I learned about him, and how horrible he was. And just when I thought that everything had calmed down, and I was through the worst of it, something happens to smack me right in the face. It’s like he’s dead, but he just won’t die , you know?”
Ma narrows her eyes and nods slowly, continuing to brush her fingers through my long, red hair.
“What did the no-good bastard do now?”
“Which one, Kane or Joey?”
Her lips twitch. “Either one.”
“Kane called me this morning and asked if I could come over for coffee. The jerk made it sound as if we could just enjoy a quiet morning together. And we don’t do that very often anymore, so I jumped at the chance. But he tricked me.”
Ma raises her eyebrows. “It’s a trick, is it?”
“There was another man there. A private investigator. Apparently, Kane hired the guy shortly after Joey died to uncover all the things we weren’t finding on our own. Even though I told him not to do that. And the guy said that he found an account in the Caymans that Joey owned, and I’m the beneficiary.”
“How much money is it?”
“Half a million.”
If she were wearing pearls, she’d be clutching them in her pretty hands. “Mary Margaret.”
“There’s a safety deposit box, too. So the key I have probably goes to that.”
“And where’s the problem?”
I stare at her incredulously. “They did this against my wishes, Ma. And Cameron knew! He showed up, and he already knew what was going on. I’m sleeping with him, and he betrayed me.”
“You’re sleeping with Cameron, are you?”
I wince. “I said that out loud, huh? It doesn’t matter. I don’t want any of this. I don’t want the money or the box or anything else.”
“Seems to me you could use the money,” Ma says. “Whether you use it for yourself or donate to a cause.”
The door to the pub opens, and Kane walks in.
“I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Too bad,” he says and slides into the booth opposite us. He blinks at Ma. “How in the world did you get here?”
“By plane, just this morning. My sweet Cameron came to get us and kept our secret. And it’s happy I am to see you, but I’m going to let you talk with your sister for now.”
She kisses my cheek and then scoots out of the booth and joins everyone at the bar. She says something to Da, who then looks my way and gives me a wink.
“I’m really, really mad at you,” I inform Kane. My eldest brother reaches for my hand, and I don’t pull away. Of all my siblings, I’m closest to Kane, and that’s saying a lot because we’re all tight.
“I know, and I’m sorry that you are,” he says, measuring his words. “But I’m not sorry that I hired Bill. You deserve to know everything that Joey did, and if he left some money for you, well, you’re entitled to that, as well.”
“But I don’t want it,” I repeat. “Kane, I’ve worked damn hard to leave that part of my life behind, and you keep cutting me off at the knees every single time you undermine me like this. I know that you think you’re doing what’s best, but only I know what’s best for me. I’m not a little girl anymore.”
“I just want you to consider going down to the islands to check it out. If you don’t want the money, donate it,” he insists, echoing Ma’s thoughts, “but don’t let it just sit down there, making that bank richer. It might bring you some closure.”
I take a deep breath. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. You’re not hearing me. I’m going to go home, clean up, and rest before work tonight. Just give me some space, okay?”
“Mary Margaret, I love you. You know that.”
“I know it. But, sometimes, you love me too hard.”
I get out of the booth. Before I leave, I lean over to kiss Kane’s cheek. I may be mad at him, but I love the big jerk.
I also swing over and give my da a big hug and then assure Keegan that I’ll be back for the start of my shift.
I need a shower and something to eat. I have some leftover stew in my fridge that will do because I’m not going in to work early to order something from the kitchen.
I’m looking forward to a long, hot soak in the shower when I turn onto my street, but then I scowl when I see Cameron’s truck parked at my curb, and the man himself sitting on my steps.
I park and get out of the car, propping my hands on my hips as I approach him.
“I don’t have time for you right now.” My voice is harder than intended, but that’s okay. I’m mad at this jerk, too. “You’ll have to come back another day.”
“I’ll settle for this day,” he retorts and stands. “And I have something for you in the backyard.”
“Look, I’m not ready for you to try to suck up to me. I just want to take a shower and eat something so I can clear my head for work later. I’m mad at you and Kane and Joey all over again, and it’s damn exhausting, Cam.”
“I know.”
“And if I dwell on it, I’ll want to hit something, and it’s just best if you go home.”
“I know that, too. But I’m not going home. Come on.”
He takes my hand and leads me around the house, through the gate, and into my backyard.
“Why are the men in my life so damn hell-bent on making me do shit I don’t want to do?”
“You’re going to want to do this. Here, wear these.” He passes me some clear safety glasses, then points to a garbage can set up on the patio and a box next to it. “There are two-dozen cheap glasses in that box. How about you smash them?”
I frown up at him. “Do you need a doctor?”
“I’m serious. Here, I’ll go first.” He walks over, chooses a glass, and smashes it into the garbage can, making it shatter. “Feels damn good when you’re frustrated.”
I join him, choose a glass, and let it fall into the can.
“That was pathetic. You have to smash it like you mean it. Like you’re aiming for Joey’s face.”
He presses a new glass into my hand, and I rear back, then throw it down with all my might.
“You son of a bitch, Joey.”
The glass shatters, and I have to admit, it did feel really good.
“See?” he says with a grin. “The whole box is for you. Go for it. Destroy it. Be mad.”
I reach for another, and then another. I cuss out Joey and Kane and Cameron and break glass, and it’s possibly the best therapy I’ve had in a long time.
When I’m done, my chest heaves, my muscles sing, and Cam’s grinning at me like a loon.
“Better?” he asks.
“A little, yeah. That was better than flowers and chocolate.”
“I have chocolate on the porch,” he says and cautiously reaches for my hand. “I was covering all my bases.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about this Bill guy?”
He sighs and brushes a lock of my hair off my cheek. “Over the past couple of years, you haven’t really wanted to have conversations with me. Mostly, you snapped at me.”
I close my eyes and rest my forehead on his chest. “Yeah, well, you could have told me.”
“Sure, I can see it now. Hey, Mags. Go to hell, Cam. Sure, but by the way, we hired a PI to look into your asshole of a late husband. Okay, great, thanks. ”
I laugh and then playfully push him away. “Whatever, smartass. Where’s my chocolate?”
“I’m hoping you’ll share.”
“Not a chance.”
I don’t know why the pub was so busy on a Sunday night, but we were hopping all day. I haven’t bustled about so much since tourist season.
My feet aren’t used to it. I need a hot shower and some tea before I fall face-first into bed for a good, solid eight hours.
I wave at Keegan, who always comes outside with us girls when we leave so he can watch us get into our cars safely. It’s not a bad neighborhood—there are no bad areas on the island—but you never know what might happen outside of a bar after closing time. Keegan waits until I start my car because it’s been iffy lately, but on the third try, it turns over. My brother waves back, and I pull out of the small parking lot behind O’Callaghan’s Pub.
I decide as I turn right that I’m glad it was a busy day. Today would have been my ninth wedding anniversary to Joey, and with everything else that’s been going on lately where he’s concerned, he’s been invading my thoughts too much.
“God, you’re stupid. Just take the car to the garage.”
“I work at night and sleep during the day, so if you could make the arrangements, that would help.”
“Stop being lazy.”
I clear my throat and turn again.
“You’re too fat. Stop eating all that junk at the pub. If you weren’t fat, I might want to fuck you once in a while.”
A car with bright headlights passes, and I have to squint to see. Once it’s gone, my steering wheel starts to shake, and then…my car just dies.
“Fuck.” I lean my forehead on the steering wheel and feel my eyes welling with tears. “You just gave up the ghost, a mile from home, at three in the freaking morning?”
Resigned to walking, I gather my jacket and purse, leave a note on the dash that I’ll have it removed in the morning, and start to walk home. My already-tired feet are not happy.
Could I call someone? Sure. Anyone would come to get me, but I feel like I kind of deserve this. I’m the one who let the damn car limp along for a few years, even though I knew that it needed to either be replaced or go in for major work.
But who can afford that?
I can’t. Not right now.
“I can walk around the island,” I remind myself in the dark. “It’s not that big. And if it rains, I can catch a ride. Actually, Kane has a couple of extra cars I’m sure he’ll let me borrow until I can replace that one. It’ll be okay.”
“You’re always depending on your stupid family for help. Grow up and be your own woman.”
I hate having Joey in my head. I haven’t heard these shitty things in a long, long time. He was the meanest at home when we were alone. If he got really mad, he’d raise a hand to me but never actually slap me. Mostly he preferred to sling words about as weapons, and he loved to intimidate me. Probably because he knew the words hurt most, and if he left marks on me, my brothers would kill him.
I can’t believe I made excuses for that jerk. I brushed off their concerns and told them that everything was fine, even when it was far from that. Because I was embarrassed and because I felt stuck with Joey. Where would I go? What would I do without him? It was just easier to stay.
And then he died, and while part of me grieved, the bigger part of me was relieved.
And I felt guilty for that. That I hadn’t been strong enough to just leave him. Instead, he died, and I was off the hook.
When I discovered that he’d only left me with the few thousand dollars in our checking account and nothing else, I didn’t even care. Because I was free of him.
“You were an asshole, Joey,” I say out loud. “I don’t even have very many good memories from our marriage. Because shortly after we said I do , you were off doing God knows what with God knows who. And I was here, fending for myself.”
I walk up the front steps to my door and take a deep breath when I’m safely inside.
I don’t know, the idea of having all that money currently sitting down on that island is tempting. It would replace that bucket of rust that just gave out on me.
Considering it, I walk back to my bedroom and strip out of my clothes for that hot shower. I start the water so it can heat up and wipe the makeup off my face. I turn to step into the water and scowl.
Usually, by the time the makeup is gone, the shower is ready for me.
But there’s no steam, and when I reach my hand in, it’s still ice-cold.
“No.” I shake my head and quickly wrap a towel around me as I run to the tiny mechanical room just off the kitchen where the hot water heater resides.
It’s not making any noise.
I’m no water heater expert, but I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to make noise.
“Don’t do this to me,” I plead, but deep down, I know it’s fruitless.
It’s dead.
My car is dead.
“What else?” I ask as I pad back to the bathroom. “I hate asking my family for help. I’m almost thirty, I shouldn’t have to ask for help.”
I decide against the shower and instead take a sponge bath. I’ll need to wash my hair in the morning, but I’ll do that in the sink.
At least I can wash my jeans in cold water.
I check my pockets and pull out the key that Kane gave back to me during my shift this evening.
I hold the brushed-gold-colored key up in the light.
If what that Bill guy said is true, there’s enough money waiting for me that I could not only fix what needs fixing but put plenty away for future emergencies, too. I could even pay Kane back for the down payment on my house.
“After we got married, all you did was make me feel bad, Joey Lemon.” I sit on the edge of the bed and stare down at the key. “You told me I was worthless and made me feel that way. You humiliated me with your many girlfriends and a child that wasn’t mine.”
I bite my lip and sigh.
“Maybe I should consider claiming the money.”
“So?” Maeve passes me the maple syrup and stares at me with a bland expression.
“So, what?”
We like to get together a couple of times a month for brunch, just the two of us. One day, I go to her place, and the other day, she comes here to mine.
Rachel’s out of school today, so she came with her. I love spending time with my niece.
“So, are you going to a tropical island to get rich?” Rachel asks before popping a piece of pineapple into her mouth. Maeve stares at her. “What? I heard you telling Dad about it. I’m seventeen, not deaf.”
I can’t help but laugh at her. I take a bite of a pancake. “I don’t know. Part of me really doesn’t want to.”
“Look, I totally understand and agree with you not wanting to have anything to do with The Lemon.”
“Me, too,” Rachel adds. “He sounds like he was a huge jerk.”
“But that’s a lot of money, Mags. You need a new car, and you won’t let any of us help you with that.” Maeve continues. “You need a nest egg for a rainy day. There’s nothing wrong with collecting money that a man you were married to left for you, even if he was the asshole of the century.”
She’s not wrong. Not to mention, no one else knows that my hot water tank died on me, and I don’t have the fifteen hundred dollars to replace it.
I about swallowed my tongue when I got that estimate. And let me just say, taking cold showers isn’t a delight.
I need hot water.
I need a running vehicle.
And while the pub pays me enough to pay my bills, it’s not enough to get ahead. I know that Keegan would pay me more, but it’s not right. I thought for so long that Joey left me with nothing but embarrassment—and in a lurch.
Maybe this would be the one good thing to come out of that shitshow of a marriage.
“Earth to Maggie,” Maeve says, waving her fork in front of my face.
“Sorry. I’m thinking about going to collect the money.”
Her jaw drops. Rachel grins.
“There’s no use in me being a stubborn ass. Kane was not completely wrong when he said to not let the bank continue making money off what’s mine.”
“When are you going?” Maeve asks as Rachel carries her plate to the sink for a rinse.
“I’m not sure. I need to think about when I can get away, but probably sooner rather than later.”
“Why can’t I get any hot water?” Rachel asks, and I cringe.
“Don’t worry about it,” I reply. “You can set it in the sink, and I’ll take care of it later.”
“I think you should get that money as soon as possible,” Maeve says, a knowing look in her eyes. “Like, yesterday, Mary Margaret.”
“I just told you, I’d look into it. Don’t nag.”
A quick knock sounds on the door, and then Cameron walks in, stopping when he sees all of us in the kitchen.
“Am I interrupting?” he asks.
“Nah, it’s just breakfast,” Rachel replies. “Want a pancake?”
“If I can steal Maggie away, I don’t have time for a pancake.”
“Steal her,” Maeve says, waving us off. “I’ll put stuff away and lock up.”
“Are you sure?”
“I know how to lock up,” Maeve says. “Go, have fun.”
I grab my purse and keys and follow Cameron out to his Mustang.
“Where are we going?” I ask once we’re on the road.
“Seattle,” he replies and squeezes my hand. “To Leo Nash’s studio.”
I turn in my seat and stare at him. “What?”
“Just trust me.” He pulls my hand up to his lips. “Don’t worry.”
“You want me to sing with you?”
I look up from the music in my hands and stare at Leo in surprise.
“I do, yes. I’ve heard you sing, Maggie, and I think your voice would sound great on that song. You’d be helping me out.”
I bust up in laughter. “Right.” I can’t stop laughing. “I’d be helping you out.”
Tears form in the corners of my eyes, and I wipe them away.
“I want you on the song,” Leo says and shrugs his shoulders, showing off his ridiculously impressive, tattooed arms.
It’s no wonder Izzy has a huge crush on him. Leo Nash is an incredible specimen of a man.
“When are we doing this?”
“Right now,” Leo replies. “We’re ready for you in the studio.”
“ Now ?”
“We’re here,” Cam adds. “And we have time.”
Suddenly nervous, I rub my hands on my jeans and then stand and square my shoulders.
“Okay, let’s do this.”
“Right on,” Leo says and wraps an arm around my shoulders as he leads me down a hallway to a recording booth.
It’s bigger than I expected, with a soundboard behind a big, plexiglass window. The studio has microphones and instruments, and Leo’s band is already in their places.
“This is a live recording?” I ask in surprise.
“It’s my favorite way to work,” Leo says as he joins me in the booth. Cam is in the production room with two other men. “We’re going to run through it without recording first so we can get a feel for each other and the song. If you want to tweak anything, just tell me. This is an original song, so we can do whatever we want with it.”
“You wrote it?” I ask.
“Yeah, and you won’t hurt my feelings if something doesn’t sound right to you, and we need to work it out.”
“Okay, cool. Let’s do it.”
For two hours, we work. The song is an absolutely beautiful slow song about a lost lover and the emptiness he feels since she’s been gone.
It reminds me of an Irish ballad, and I tell him so.
“Do you want to add more wind to it?” Leo asks. “To make it even more so?”
“No, I think this rock edge is cool. But let’s work on the hook a bit. I feel like it’s missing a beat.”
Leo nods and grabs a guitar so he can pick while we sing. In ten minutes, we have the rough patch fixed, and we return to the mics with our headphones on as the band grabs their instruments.
This time, when we start from the beginning, we nail it. I know it as soon as the last note reverberates through the room.
This is it.
This is the one.
“Hell, yes,” Leo says with a wide grin and pulls me in for a hug. “This song is going to be a hit.”
“It’s okay if you put it on the B-side, and it’s never heard from again.”
Leo pulls back and frowns down at me. “First of all, this is the twenty-first century. There are no more B-sides. Second of all, this might be the first single we release from the album.”
I can’t move. Hell, I can’t breathe.
“You’re going to release it?”
“Why else would we record it? I’m assuming you don’t have an agent, but don’t worry, I won’t screw you. We’ll make sure you’re paid a fair percentage and work out the details.”
“I’m not doing this for the money,” I reply immediately.
“Yeah, definitely no agent,” Leo says with a laugh. “This is a job. Cam told me that it’s not a job to you, but it is all the same. If you ever change your mind about wanting to make a career with your voice, just let me know. Even if you don’t want to be a single recording artist, I can always use backup vocals on the road. It’s something to think about.”
I can’t even reply.
“You should invest in some recording equipment for your house and practice. Technology is incredible these days. You can record on your own and upload it to one of the media streaming services, a website, or a bunch of other places to sell your music. Make a little money. Think about it.”
“Thank you.” I can’t help it. I launch myself back into his arms and hold on tight. “Thank you so much, Leo. You didn’t have to do this.”
“I’m glad we did,” he says softly and hugs me back. “You’re incredible. Isn’t she, guys?”
“One of the best voices I’ve heard in years,” Gary says with a nod. “And I’m not blowing smoke up your ass.”
I laugh and wipe at a tear that I didn’t know had formed. “If nothing else, this was really good for my ego.”
“When we go on tour with this album, if you want to join us for this song and as backup vocals, we’ll hire you in a heartbeat,” Leo says.
I gape at him and then laugh.
“Okay, enough. I have plenty to think about here. Thank you so much for this. It was seriously an item on my bucket list that I can now mark off.”
“I’m glad.”
Cam comes into the room and scoops me up in a hug. After we listen to the song twice more, we say our goodbyes and head back for the island.
When we’re at the railing on the ferry, I look over at Cam and watch the wind blowing through his hair for a minute.
“Will you take me to the Caymans?”
His blue gaze whips over to mine. “You want to go?”
“Yes. I need recording equipment. And a car. And some other things. And, damn it, I more than earned that money. I’m going to claim it.”
“Good girl.” He pulls me close and lowers his mouth to mine. “We can go whenever you’re ready.”
“I’ll talk to Keegan when we get back. I’d like to go as soon as possible.”
“We’ll arrange it, then.”