Chapter 25
Rory followed the Carnegies’ butler down the long hall to the conservatory, seeing the parquet wood floors and the decorative plasterwork on the ceiling as if for the first time.
How many workers toiled away for how long to build it all?
The opulence she used to take for granted now seemed so excessive and extravagant compared to her simple life in Mineola.
Plaster acorns and oak leaves were certainly pretty, but how could one justify the expense when so many city residents struggled for their daily bread?
The scent of the conservatory reached Rory before she entered it—floral notes mixed with rich soil.
And there was a freshness to the air that only came from a profusion of growing greenery.
As they entered, sunlight filtered through arching glass and then tall branches, leaving dappled patches of shade on the green-tiled floor.
The butler led her to an ornate ironwork table shaded by several tall palms and an orange tree laden with ripening fruit, all in terracotta pots large enough to bathe in.
“If you’ll pardon me, I’ll go fetch Miss Evelyn,” the butler said with a bow and left.
Evelyn arrived squealing a moment later, and Rory forgot all about her exhaustion.
“My God, darling, I’ve missed you so!” Evelyn hugged Rory with all her might, and Rory hugged her right back. After all her travails, it was a balm to her soul to see her best friend.
“I’ve missed you too! It’s only been a few weeks, but it feels like an eternity!
” In fact, she felt like a completely different person after everything that had transpired.
It was a wonder the Carnegies’ butler even let her in.
“Do your parents know about me? I half thought I would be turned away when I rang the doorbell.”
“My parents are in Newport for the season. Papa has a new yacht he’s showing off. It’s made my life ever so much easier in the meantime. But even if they were here, I wouldn’t let them turn you away! You are my dearest friend, and I’m standing by you no matter what.”
Her friend’s staunch support moved her more than she could say. “Thank you. I know it can’t be easy being my friend. I can only imagine what everyone must be saying about me now. I haven’t so much as looked at a gossip column since I left. How bad is it?” She bit her lip and braced herself.
“Not as bad as you’d think. Fortunately for you, no one seems to know yet. There’s no hiding that you and Edward are on the rocks, but your father seems to have convinced the papers that you’re in Europe, visiting friends.”
So Papa was still trying to salvage this. It was amazing what money could smooth over.
“Edward and I are finished. After the way he’s treated me, I want nothing to do with the man ever again.
If Papa thinks he can make me reconsider, he is dead wrong.
He’s already done his worst, and I’m doing just fine.
” For a moment, she almost forgot she was talking to Evelyn as the argument she could no longer have with her father played out in her head like a phonograph recording.
Her nails dug into her palms beneath the table as her head throbbed with words she’d never get to speak.
Evelyn tilted her head and furrowed her brow. “Are you, dear? Are you sure? I worry about you.”
A sudden well of sadness threatened to overwhelm Rory as she considered how to answer.
In Mineola where everything was new and different, it was easy to pretend that things were going swimmingly.
There was nothing to remind her of what she’d lost. But here with Evelyn, the loss of her former life was a gaping wound she couldn’t ignore.
Much as she tried to convince herself she didn’t want this life anymore, it had hurt her deeply to be torn away from her family and her world so abruptly.
She blinked back tears, determined not to let them fall.
“Oh, I’ll be all right.” She was very proud that she didn’t let her chin quiver. “I like my new life. I have work for the PBA to keep me busy. Did you know I’ve distributed funds to the twenty-three widows we connected with last month and received five new applications?”
This was safer ground. Rory wasn’t sure she could hold herself together under sustained scrutiny from her friend.
Evelyn gave her a far-too-knowing look. “That’s wonderful, dear. I had no doubt that you would make the PBA a smashing success. But I’m still not certain you’re all right.”
“I’ve been writing letters to elected officials about women’s suffrage too. That’s been keeping me busy.”
“Now, Rory, I know that—” Evelyn broke off abruptly as a servant came into view, carrying a tray of lemonade and cookies. She and Rory both smiled politely. It wouldn’t do to have the servants suspecting anything was amiss. “Thank you! Just leave it on the table here.”
The maid nodded her head and hurried away.
Taking advantage of Evelyn’s momentary distraction, Rory poured herself a glass of lemonade. “Excellent timing. I’m parched.”
She took a long sip, and the cold, sweet liquid went far to steady her nerves.
“As I was saying…” Evelyn leaned forward and looked Rory in the eyes.
“I know that you’ve given up a great deal.
You don’t have to pretend with me that it doesn’t hurt.
I know you don’t like to talk about…feelings.
You much prefer to lose yourself in a flurry of activity and pretend everything is fine.
But if you did wish to talk about it, I want you to know that I am here for you. ”
A tear dripped down Rory’s cheek, and she dashed it away. So much for holding herself together. “You are the best friend I could ever have. Do you know that?”
Evelyn grinned. “Oh, I do. And don’t you ever forget it!” She reached out and squeezed Rory’s shoulder. “Have a cookie and some more lemonade. There are few problems in this world that Mrs. O’Malley’s shortbread cookies can’t fix.”
Grateful, Rory took one and let buttery perfection transport her away from her troubles for a moment.
“There. You see?” Evelyn picked up a cookie and held it up. “Her cookies are magic. You feel better already, don’t you?”
Rory nodded and took another cookie.
“Now, let’s talk about something more pleasant. How are things going with your pilot?” Evelyn leaned forward and propped her chin on her hands.
Rory chewed thoughtfully as she pondered how to reply. She adored Hank, but things were becoming so messy between them with his repeated proposals and her refusals. “Evelyn?”
“Yes, Rory?” Her friend raised her eyebrows expectantly.
“Would you marry Clyde if he asked you?”
Evelyn sat up straight and frowned, glancing around as if worried someone might overhear. “My parents would never allow it.”
“What if you were in my situation? What if you no longer gave a fig what your parents thought?” Because she didn’t. Her father was never going to have a say in who she spent her time with again.
“I suppose it would depend.” Evelyn chewed her lip, considering.
“On what?” Rory leaned forward.
“On whether at the end of the day, after all the change and loss, we still made each other happy.”
Hank certainly made Rory happy. She was giddy every time she saw him. She wanted to curl up in his arms and never let go. But should she? “You would give up your independence for happiness?”
Evelyn chuckled. “Is that what this is about? You’re afraid you won’t be your own woman once you wed?”
“Yes.” There was no hiding anything from Evelyn. She always saw straight into the heart of the matter.
“That’s a perfectly reasonable thing to be concerned about. But have you asked him about it? If he’s truly someone who can make you happy, he should respect your freedom. Have you thought about what you might need from him for you to feel comfortable saying yes?”
“That’s the thing. He’s already bent over backwards and done everything I could possibly want, including drafting legal documents committing that he’ll never take a cent from me.
But I’m not sure what would take away the hesitation in my heart.
Maybe this is about me and not about him. Maybe I’m not ready yet.”
If only she could put her finger on what would fix her inconvenient feelings, this would all be so much easier.
Evelyn took both her hands and looked her in the eyes. “Then wait until you’re ready. Only you can know what is right for you.”
It wasn’t the most helpful of answers, but she couldn’t say she was surprised. Evelyn was right. This was her decision to make, and no one could make it for her.
“Have you talked to your aunt about this? I’m sure she’d have a thing or two to say about the institution of marriage, considering how poorly things went with her first husband. Something made her decide to marry again, despite all she went through.”
“I haven’t dared. I’m afraid of how she’ll react if she hears about Hank.
She’ll say I’m throwing my life away for a man.
I’m sure of it.” Rory loved Aunt Alva so much, and she was so afraid of seeing disapproval in her eyes.
Her aunt had given her a stern talking to about not throwing her pearls to swine after the Archie incident.
She didn’t think she was ready to face Aunt Alva’s censure again. At least not yet.
“Don’t be so certain. She might surprise you. At the very least, you should let her know you’re all right. She reaches out to me almost every day asking if I’ve heard from you. Please let her know how you’re doing so that I can have a little bit of peace.”
Rory squeezed Evelyn’s hands. “You’re right. I should. I’m sorry she’s been pestering you. I’ll get in touch so that she leaves you alone.”
Evelyn squeezed back. “Thank you. She’s like a steam locomotive when she’s on a mission. There’s only so much I can do to hold her back.” Relinquishing Rory’s hands, Evelyn picked up another cookie. “You know, I do envy you.”
That took Rory by surprise. “You do?”
“Mm-hmm. You’ve broken free. You’ve won your independence and can do as you please.”
“Hardly. I’ve burned all my bridges, and I’m cobbling together a life as best I can from the ashes.
I can choose my future, but I can’t undo the past. I’ll always be a fallen woman whose family disowned her.
I’ll never live that down.” Try as she might to rise above it, her ruined reputation still weighed her down in quiet moments when there was nothing to distract her.
Much as she wanted to be a modern woman who didn’t give a damn about convention, she knew the rest of the world did.
Evelyn shook her head. “You’ll be a phoenix, rising from the ashes. Mark my words. Nothing is going to keep Rory Belmont down. Speaking of which, is Hank going to teach you how to fly? Because I want to be your first passenger when you get your pilot’s license.”
Flying. Rory and Hank had talked about it over lunch on the beach the other day. He offered to teach her, regardless of whether she agreed to be his wife. She would have a hard time paying attention to her lessons with him as a teacher, but how could she resist such a generous offer?
“He did. With any luck, I’ll be a licensed pilot by the fall.”
“That’s simply splendid,” Evelyn said, clapping her hands together. “What a marvelous man you’ve found! He sounds like a keeper to me.”
Rory smiled. “Yes, he is. And I have no intention of letting him go. I just need to figure out a way to stay with him without feeling like I’m giving up this new life I’ve discovered.”
“I’m certain you’ll figure things out,” Evelyn winked. “Now tell me more about how things are going with the PBA. I’m dying to know.”
For the next hour, they chatted about the future of the PBA and how they were going to expand it beyond New York City. It would be a challenge, but together, they could accomplish just about anything.
As Rory said her goodbyes, she couldn’t help reflecting on how different her life was without all the trappings of wealth.
Living on her own required a lot of hard work, but it felt more real.
In Mineola, everything she wanted done she had to do herself, but every day she earned her place in the world.
That was an entirely new experience. Under Papa’s roof, she’d never lifted a finger.
Everything was done for her. It was good for her to come down from the clouds.
What was more, in her new life, she had friends, purpose, and love.
And Evelyn was right. She was better off without all the rest.
Something shifted for her during their conversation.
A small part of her had been holding back from her new life and clinging to the familiar world she had left behind.
But now, she was ready to let it go and embrace new possibilities.
She could even picture how she might find her way to saying yes to Hank.
She left the Carnegie mansion with a new spring in her step, ready to face whatever life might bring, even the terrifying, wonderful possibility of love.