Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
AJ
All I wanted was that smile back on his face, and when I offered to suck his dick, there it was, bright and excited as he exclaimed, “Fuck, yeah.” His smile was also sexy as all hell, and why the fuck had I not noticed that before? How had I gone all those years and not realized what it meant every time my stomach swooped when he laughed, or all the times he draped an arm over my shoulders, or stepped into the hot tub that was currently collecting snow downstairs, or when he peeled off his uniform at work.
Fuck, now I was the one overthinking things. I looked up at him again, and his smile had turned to consternation.
“Only if …” he started to protest, and I put a halt to the overthinking for both of us by grabbing his dick and plunging it into my mouth.
Josh had tried to tell me, more than once, how much of a turn-on it was to be on the other end of a blow job, Vance agreeing in his quiet way, but I’d shrugged them off, never really giving it much thought before Thanksgiving.
I was for fucking sure thinking about it as I held Jackson firmly in one hand and pumped my head up and down quickly, a licking, slurping mess. I angled my head to watch him, and the move had him arching and moaning. He lowered himself quickly and looked at me as if the thrust had been too much. I still had him in hand, and it helped to regulate our movements, so I kept it up, tilting my head his way and looking him in the eye as I sucked up and down his dick. I could feel him leaking inside of me, sense his body thrumming underneath me, and I could see it in his eyes, the lust and the passion and something else too.
My best friend. I could see my best friend, the man I trusted, the man I wanted to spend every minute with. And we had spent almost every minute together over the past five years, except for moments like the one we found ourselves in that snowy night.
The realization hit me, like the hot blast of a four-alarm fire. Jackson Dorso was all I wanted. All I’d ever wanted since practically the moment we’d met. My heart called out, and I was about to pull off, to confess everything, but when I let go of him with a pop, the sound hit us both. He let out an “Ungh,” and the reverberations from it, coming from deep in his chest, felt like they’d launched themselves through my own chest and traveled to my arousal. I could feel it stiffening even more. Tightening in that way that produced so much pleasure it felt a little bit like pain.
“Uh-huh,” I agreed before I was right back on him, my hand and mouth meeting time and time again, my other hand finding my dick and following the rhythm.
I kept my head tilted to look at him, and he propped up on his elbows. “Need to see you,” he huffed out desperately, and I twisted myself around so he could watch me work myself over.
He leaned in, and I thought he was going to reach for me, but instead he shot up straight and pushed me off of him. “Baby, no! Gonna come.” My hand was still tight on him, and he wrapped his around it long enough to pump himself once, twice, then he was coming again, both of us watching as spurt after spurt shot up, landing on his chest.
He stared in wonder as cum rolled down our intertwined hands. Then he looked from his dick to mine and reached for it.
I pressed the center of his chest until he was lying back down on the pillows.
“You didn’t have to push me off,” I said as I raised his hand to my mouth. “I wanted to try to swallow,” I breathed on his filthy hand before licking up the stream of cum. He moaned again and arched back, those abs, that fucking chiseled, defined, sweaty fireman’s chest on more than display, presented to me, offered up for me to worship.
I straddled his waist and ran my hands over his chest. He was lightly hairy all over, and I loved the coarse feel of it on my calloused hands. I loved more how he arched up again and moaned into it.
“Do you want a taste, cari?o ?” He watched me, eyelids drooping, his face exhausted yet sated as I slid further up his body. He didn’t speak, he simply opened his mouth and tilted back. I began to jack myself off, so close to his face I tapped his lower lip a few times, his tongue peeking out and chasing it, desperate for it.
When I was with women, I focused so much on not losing too much control, never wanting to say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing; never wanting to go too far and certainly never wanting to spill my feelings to a hookup from a bar. With Jackson, I found myself babbling truths that I needed him to hear, needed him to know. “I can’t wait, Jax. I can’t fucking wait to do everything with you. Whatever you want, for as long as you want. However you want. Do you understand me, Jackson?” I looked down to find him chasing after my dick with his mouth, and oh my fucking God, I had never seen anything so desperately sexy. I came on the spot, declaring, “I’m yours,” as cum splatted Jackson’s chin, his cheek, and holy fuck, his tongue.
His bottom lip dragged up my tip as he closed his mouth and swallowed my offering. I stayed perched where I was, on my knees above him, my spent dick still close to his mouth, his face and chest still a mess. He was flushed, his hair damp and every which way, his lips cherry red and swollen. I imagined I looked the same as we both took in deep breaths.
He hoisted himself up to a seated position, and I tried to move off him, but he put a hand on one thigh to hold me in place. Once he was propped up on pillows and sitting underneath me, he bent his knees, and with a gentle push of that hand on my leg, encouraged me to sit back.
I pulled my legs out from under me and did just that, resting my big frame on his thick, strong thighs. I could feel the scratch of hair on my back and his softening dick nestled in my ass. I was bigger and taller than Jackson and should have felt ridiculous perched on top of him like that.
He moved in close, almost hesitantly, and wrapped his muscled arms around me, burying his head in my neck. I put my weight on him completely and wrapped my arms and legs around him. There was absolutely nothing ridiculous about it.
Eventually, he started to cry softly, tears pooling on my shoulder.
“Jax?”
“I won’t hold you to it, AJ,” he muttered into the crook of my neck.
“Jax?” He remained quiet as he continued to soak my shoulder where he had tucked himself in like he was hiding from me. And I just let him. A gust of wind brought swirling snow to the second-floor window as if I’d asked it to confirm that we shouldn’t think about leaving the cabin any time soon.
Eventually, Jackson shuddered out a breath. “ Cari?o ?” I implored, the word feeling natural and right on my tongue. “Let’s get cleaned up. Then we’ll talk, okay? Whatever this is, we’ll talk it through.”
He looked at me with those puppy-dog eyes and nodded. “And then it’s whatever you want,” I assured him. “Since we’re not due at the station until tomorrow evening, and it’s really coming down out there, I say we shower up, then go finish that platter of food you bought.”
Those hazel eyes stayed locked on mine as he nodded pathetically and pushed away from me. I hadn’t noticed how tightly I still had him wrapped up, like I never wanted to let him go. Like I wanted to convey my every feeling through touch. He stood in front of me, a sweaty, sticky mess, and I wanted to reach out for him, to kiss him senseless again and maybe even go for round three. I felt like a fucking teenager.
“I’ll use the master. There should be towels … Well, you know where the towels are, in that closet by the guest bath.” He pointed out the bedroom door and started to turn. I bounded off the bed and allowed my instincts to take over, yanking him by the arm until he was turned around and facing me. I wrapped him in my arms and kissed him soundly.
“Together,” I muttered into his mouth before pulling back slightly so I could be inspired by those eyes. “Don’t you dare take off to your grandparents’ room. I’m not ready to let you go yet. Not ready to not be touching you.” I kept hold of his hand as I turned, and he followed behind me. “We shower together,” I declared, feeling very caveman. It was another instinct I would never have felt comfortable showing to anyone but my best friend.
He stopped for the towels, and I entered the bathroom and started the shower. It was a fairly standard tub-and-shower combo, and as I stood with my hand under the stream to test the water temperature, I heard him approach, but he didn’t join me, so I had to turn to find him standing in the door frame, taking me in.
“I don’t want this dream to end, AJ, but …”
“But what, Jax? Why does there have to be a but? You and I have always gotten along. We’d always rather be with each other than with anyone else. Now we’ve found something else we like to do together. Why does there have to be a but?” I asked again, holding out my hand for him.
He dropped the towels on the closed seat of the toilet and accepted my hand. I guided both of our hands until they felt the shower’s rain. “Okay?” I asked, though I couldn’t tell you if I was asking about the water temperature or about sharing the shower or about our entire future.
Nor could I interpret his answer when he echoed, “Okay,” and guided us under the stream. There was a shelf full of bottles along the tiled wall, a selection left by Mr. and Mrs. Dorso for their guests.
I thought about other visits to the cabin and the hot tub outside. “I wish we didn’t have to leave tomorrow,” I whined, thinking about firing it up and sharing it with Jackson.
“Really?” Jackson was scrutinizing me, like those laser-beam eyes could zap the truth right out of me. They were a little intense and overwhelming, so I turned him around and grabbed a brown bottle off the shelf. I popped the cap and reached around so that Jackson could smell it.
“Good?”
“Uh-huh.” It came out as a croak.
“Good.” I nodded behind him though he couldn’t see it. The part of him that was dirtiest was his cum-spackled chest, so with an arm around him, I turned us both so that I remained at his back, and he was standing, facing the stream of the shower. I poured some of the soap into one palm and lathered it between my hands before tucking my arms under his and circling my hands all around that defined torso. Brushing against his side near his armpit had him twitching and pulling away, but I grabbed him from behind and held him tight.
“Ticklish, huh?”
“No.” He tilted his head back to catch my smile, my eyes going wide as I started to move my hands further up. “Maybe. Yes!”
From behind him I washed what I could reach, including his hair. He rinsed his face and hair under the water and swiped the bottle, turning in my arms to face me. He poured soap in his hands and put them up to my chest before hesitating, his palms centimeters from me.
“Jackon.” I sighed, taking his hands in mine and pressing them to my chest. We both watched as he stroked his hands up and down a few times before venturing outside the lines to encompass my whole chest, including my sides. I stiffened my torso while his fingertips danced, holding my breath to keep myself from laughing.
“Mmm, not so ticklish, then.” His tone sounded almost playful, and I loved to hear it. I also realized that I never wanted to be anything but truthful with Jackson, so I let out the breath, relief flooding me momentarily until the sensation caught up with me, and I was laughing and squirming and moving to the far end of the tub to escape Jackson’s fingers.
“Nope, too cold.” I moved immediately back to crowd him in under the stream, and he applied more soap and let his hands travel all over my body. He was wrapped around me, rubbing soap into my back as our dicks began brushing together.
I was shocked that mine wasn’t completely down for the count. I felt it begin to rally, especially when Jackson’s hesitant hands finally found their way to my ass. He rubbed in circles before squeezing and massaging my glutes.
He leaned back then to look at me. “Do you know what these look like in your uniform?”
“I’ve been told.”
“This past year, I could barely stand to be around you. All I wanted to do was stare at your ass.”
“That’s all you wanted to do?” I teased.
He opened his mouth to respond but snapped it closed quickly, a throaty, “I …,” his only response. His hands hadn’t left my ass, though.
“Jackson.” I sighed before giving him a bright smile and brushing his cheek. I could feel the water starting to cool.
“Come on, cari?o . Let’s get out of here before we freeze our asses off. We have charcuterie to eat.”
“I didn’t know you knew that word.”
I applied soap to my hair, and all of a sudden it was like any other time we had showered together at the station or the gym. Two guys, shooting the shit. Only difference was … our dicks were still touching.
“Are you kidding? Charcuterie and I go way back. Nat used to have me help her make it. Says I have an artistic flair or some shit because she showed me how to twist a slice of meat to look like a flower, and I didn’t fuck it up. She held a party a few years back on election night, when Fisher was first elected president, and I spent half the day twisting meat.”
“Hot,” Jackson contributed, his eyes wide in jest. He swatted my hands away and reached up to take over washing my hair.
“I’m realizing right this minute that other members of my family may have faked not being able to do it to get out of helping. Those little shits. Now it’s my fucking job every time. You think Vee’s old enough to learn yet? Oh, or maybe Vance. He was in a pretty bad place back then, but he seems better now. I’m gonna guilt him into helping me at Easter.”
“Your family, man.” Jackson was shaking his head even while both of his hands worked through my hair. And who knew that could be so sexy? His bunched-up muscles and hairy armpits … I wanted to bury my face in one and almost leaned in, but the water really was getting cold.
I manhandled Jackson one more time—“Turn”—before helping him rinse off. I lightly smacked his ass, something else I had done before, though never while we were naked. “It’s getting too cold. Get out of here. I’m just going to rinse off quickly, and I’ll be right behind you.” He hauled one leg over the tub, but I yelled, “Hey,” and grasped his hand. I leaned forward until he did too. He did that hesitant thing, but then his face was close enough to kiss. “Can we use the big double shower in your grandparents’ room next time?”
He didn’t answer, he just simply nodded while a huge smile formed on his face, and he said, “Next time.”