Chapter 52
ALEKSEI
I never thought I would have children.
It was never something I pictured for myself. Not because I didn’t want it, but because I didn’t believe I was capable of being any kind of father. Not after the one I had.
But then there’s Fiona. When I look into her eyes, I start to believe maybe I could be more. Better than what I had.
She makes me want that. She makes me want everything.
The dining room is still loud, the table littered with empty plates and wineglasses, dessert only half eaten.
I lean toward her, mouth brushing her ear. “I’m done sharing you tonight.”
She turns to me with a teasing smile. “Oh? And what do you have in mind?”
My palm grasps the side of her face. “Everything.”
When she gazes at me like that—like she already knows exactly what I mean, like she wants this life with me just as badly—something cracks open in my chest. All the violence and ugliness that led us here, every lie and betrayal and fight we survived, it’s worth it.
Because I have her. She’s mine.
And somehow, after everything, I get this life with her as though I’m worthy.
My hand finds her thigh beneath the table, and she sucks in a quick breath, just enough for me to notice. She presses her knee against mine, almost like a dare.
That’s all I need.
“Let’s go.”
She glances at me out of the corner of her eye, lips curving into something smug and sweet and wholly dangerous. “Yes, sir.”
A growl rumbles out of me as I take her hand and guide her out of the dining room, past the echo of laughter and the clinking of glasses.
When we reach our bedroom, I shut the door behind us, needing her more than I ever have. She stands in the middle of the room watching me, like she’s offering herself to me. And it’s a gift every time, something I will always treasure.
I stalk toward her, taking my time, while her lips part, that perfect red lipstick just waiting for me to ruin it.
When I reach her, I stop just shy of touching her, letting the anticipation burn between us.
My knuckles graze her cheek, and she lets out a soft sound, leaning into my hand like she needs the touch as much as I do.
“I love you so much, Fiona. You’ve given me something I never thought I’d have.”
“And what’s that?”
“A future.”
Her expression falters, just for a second. Like she didn’t expect me to say that. But it’s the truth. I am more than my father thought I would be. I’m a husband. A father. And I will carry that weight with pride for the rest of my life.
“You’re going to be an incredible dad.”
My jaw tics. “I don’t know how.”
She kisses my cheek, soft and certain. “You’ll learn, just like you learned how to love me.”
And somehow, looking into her eyes, I believe it.
“I never thought I’d be good at this. Marriage. Love. I didn’t think I could be anything other than what I was built to become.”
She leans in, her body fitting perfectly against mine, her gaze steady and unflinching. “You’re more than that, Aleksei. You always have been. You just needed someone to remind you.”
I exhale slowly, running a hand down her back, grounding myself in the feeling of her. “If we have a son, I don’t want him to be like me. I don’t want this life for him. I want him to be like you.”
“He will be whatever he was meant to be. Our job is to lead him on that path. It’s all we can do.”
I look at her then, really look, and it hits me how much she has changed everything. How far I’ve come from the man I was.
“Tell me you want this,” I tell her, brushing her hair away from her face. “Tell me you want me.”
It’s not enough to feel it. I need to hear it. I need her to say the words, to make them real.
She lifts her hand to my neck. “I want all of it. You. Us. This life. No matter the cost.”
And that’s it. That’s all I need. Everything inside me stills.
Then I’m on her, my hand wrapping around her chin as I crush my mouth to hers like I’ve been starving for it.
I kiss her with bruising intensity, claiming what’s already mine.
Her arms wind around my neck as I lift her effortlessly, her body melting into mine.
I carry her to our bed, the rest of the world falling away.
We tumble onto the mattress, and I undress her slowly, like she’s holy and I’m a sinner with no right to touch her, but with every intention of worshiping her anyway. She doesn’t look away as I remove my clothes, her eyes on mine, carrying a trust I’ll spend my whole life trying to earn.
I want her to see me. Truly see me. Not the man I once was, but the man standing before her now. The man she made.
I press my palm to the smooth, bare skin of her stomach. There’s no bump yet. Just the faintest curve I imagine, even if I know it’s too early. But I swear I feel it.
Right here. This is where our future begins.
“She, or he, is going to love their papa,” she whispers, her hand sliding over mine, holding it there.
Her words echo through me, and I want so badly to believe them.
“I would die for you. For this child.”
She lifts her head and kisses me. “I don’t need you to die for us. I need you to live.”
“I will.”
Because for the first time in my life, I have something worth living for.
I lower my body between her thighs, my cock heavy and throbbing as I position it against her, the metal of my piercings dragging over her in a way that pulls a strangled moan from her throat.
My mouth brushes hers as my hand slides down, forcing its way between her thighs.
I stroke her once, then push deeper, just enough to make her gasp.
“Good girl. Always so wet for me,” I growl against her lips, driving my fingers harder and adding a third, stretching her exactly the way she likes it. “You want more?”
“Yes…”
She grinds down on my hand and takes everything I give her. Her nails dig into my shoulders, her body squeezing tight around my fingers, right on the edge. And when she’s seconds from coming, trembling for it, I pull my hand away.
She gasps from the shock, fingers sliding into my hair as she grips tight. “I swear if you stop now…”
“You’ll what? Hmm?” With both hands, I open her legs up and stare at her glistening cunt. “What are you going to do, wife?” I spank her pussy, and her eyes roll back.
“Fuck, Aleksei, please.”
“That’s more like it.” I give her another slap, rubbing my palm over her before I lower to her center and suck her into my mouth.
“Yes, yes, yes!” Her fingers dig into my scalp, her body writhing, chasing the orgasm she needs so badly that every tremor shudders through me. “I’m so close.”
When I suck her clit and tease it with the tip of my tongue, she cries out.
“Aleksei! Oh God!”
She comes hard, spilling down my throat, and I drink every drop. Because it’s all mine. Everything she is belongs to me. Her legs quiver, her body arched, and seeing her like this…it’s like seeing heaven.
When I climb back up and kiss her, she laughs, blowing out a breath. “You’re really good at that.”
“Eating?” My lips trace her jaw. “Yes, I am a very hungry man.”
My cock aches to be inside her; I rub it against her as she winces.
“Fuck me, please,” she groans, her eyes heavy-lidded.
Without giving her a second to think, I line myself up and thrust into her in one hard stroke, burying every inch inside her.
Her body tightens around me, a sound tearing from her throat that makes my grip on her hips tighten.
My fingers find her clit, rubbing slow at first, just enough to make her tremble.
“Shit, I can’t come again so fast.”
“Of course you can. Show me what I can make you do.”
Her breathing stutters, need overtaking every trace of hesitation. I speed up—my hips, my fingers—pushing her exactly where I want her. The tension in her body eases, and within seconds, she’s shaking, pleading for more, begging for release.
And I give it to her. Pulling both legs up over my shoulders, I open her up and fill her the way she needs.
Who knew a man like me could ever have something so beautiful?
“You are everything to me.” The words rip from my lungs as I take her harder, like I’m trying to carve the truth into her skin. “Moya zhizn. Moya sem’ya. Moya krov.” My life. My family. My blood.
She drags me down to her, kissing me like she’s choosing me all over again.
“Ya tebya lyublyu, Aleksei,” she breathes, her pulse slamming against my heart, saying my name like it belongs to her alone.
And I’ll spend the rest of my life earning the right to hear it.