Chapter 13 #2
I spot Connie about the same time he sees me, and he breaks out in a grin, raising a hand for us to join him at the other end. So I tug on Alex’s hand, that’s still holding mine, and motion over to the direction we should go. He takes the lead, not relinquishing me the whole time.
I notice one or two people glance at us curiously, but for the most part, no one pays us any attention. Even though I don’t know anyone here, it doesn’t feel awkward. Yet.
“Hey!” Connie greets us, opening his arms for a hug from me.
“Hi, Connie,” I greet back as he releases the embrace, turning to give Alex the same bear-sized hug.
“We’ve missed you at dinner, kiddo.” I blush, not sure what to say. Alex said he knows the truth, but that doesn’t make it any less uncomfortable.
“Anytime you want to have dinner, Connie, give me a call.” I shoot him a wink, and he laughs. I notice him give Alex a look, but I don’t know what it means.
“Get the girl a drink while we catch up,” Connie instructs him.
With a gentle hand at my back, Alex asks, “What do you want?”
“Beer, please?” He gives me that signature half-smile before slipping away.
“How’s school going?” I miss Connie, too.
“It’s good. Just busy. I’m working in the library now.”
He makes a sort of clicking sound and says, “Gosh, the two of you are so alike, you know that?” I nod because I do know. We’re too alike.
“You’re still married?” He doesn’t beat around the bush. He just goes straight for the jugular. I roll with it, though, because I love this old man.
“Hitting on a married woman, Connie?” I tease, and his cheeks turn pink. I know that’s not how he means it. He’s literally checking in to see if we’re divorced yet. We aren’t. I can’t really give a reason why.
“If I was thirty years younger-” He’s stopped from finishing the sentiment by a tall, dark, and handsome man with a buzz cut and tattoos peeking out from the collar of his shirt. He looks familiar, probably from the photos at Connie’s.
“Fuck, Dad, please don’t finish that sentence.” The man rolls his eyes, then turns to me. “Please, pardon him. He’s mixing Coors light and prune juice tonight, clearly it’s taking its toll.” Connie laughs, and I do, too.
“Niko, this is Emma,” Connie gestures towards me. Niko extends a hand, and I move to take it. When a young boy runs between us, sending Niko stumbling towards me, he has to use two hands to hold us both upright.
“Cool points: gone,” Connie laughs at Niko.
“Hands off my wife, please.” His voice, speaking those words, is like kerosene on my internal fire. He did not. No, he did. Because Niko rights me in a respectful manner, double-checking my ring finger that’s naked.
I smile at Niko and say, “It’s nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot.”
“None of it good, either,” Alex busts his balls, then passes me a cold beer.
Niko shoots him a faux dirty look and says, “How the hell do you end up with tens?” Redirecting the question to me, he asks, “For real, how much is he paying you?”
I choke on my first sip of beer.
Alex’s laugh is big and beautiful, and I have to bite my lip to hold my own laugh in. But damn, the joke was a little too on the nose.
I blush a little but finally say under my breath, “Not enough.”
Connie starts howling at the hit while Alex grabs me around the waist and pulls me into his side, staring down at me with an almost mischievous smile.
I think he’s on the verge of saying something, but instead, he kisses the side of my head before releasing me.
“You must be Emma,” another dark-haired man, bigger than the other, joins our small group. He’s dressed up in slacks and a button-down. Even though it’s a football game, he oozes seriousness in a way his dad and brother don’t.
He extends a hand, saying, “Max. I’ve heard a lot about you. Pleasure to meet you in person, Emma.” He is polite to a fault, yet there’s a rigidity.
“Of course, same to you.” We shake, and I give him a half smile, but as soon as he releases my hand, his phone is out, and his brow wrinkles.
“Excuse me,” Max bows out.
What is in the fucking water around these parts? Even Connie, in his late sixties, would be considered classically handsome. I just call him hot, to be honest.
“Do you want to walk around?” Alex asks, and I nod gratefully. Small talk isn’t really my thing. Is it anyone’s thing?
“You’ll excuse us?” Alex asks Connie and Niko, and they both give polite goodbyes.
We exit the tent and turn to walk down the rows of trucks with beds down and grills out. Cornhole tournaments pop up left and right, and then there’s a group of people roaring over a makeshift plywood table for beer pong. It seems fun, just not really my kind of fun.
I sip on my beer as we walk until, eventually, Alex asks the question I hoped he wouldn’t.
“What’s his name?”
“I’m sorry?” I play dumb.
“Your date tonight, what was his name?”
I twist my lip to the side, embarrassed at what I’m about to admit.
“Rob. He canceled at the last minute.”
“Hmm,” Alex grunts his disapproval. I shrug.
“I’m not surprised he blew me off. I was the one who asked him out. And maybe he just didn’t have the heart to turn me down in person.” Alex eyes me skeptically.
“You…asked him out?” I don’t know if he’s surprised, shocked, or angry by that fact.
“Yeah, I did.” I shrug again. Clearly, my picker is off. The only men I really want are completely unattainable, so I picked a regular guy, and that was a failure, too.
“I’m surprised you’re dating,” Alex says somberly.
“I mean, am I not supposed to?” We haven’t talked about it, but I figured with me moved out and him still in love with Jess, there isn’t a need to define the lack of relationship between us.
He thinks about it. Which is surprising because I would have thought the answer was clear. But I thought wrong because he says, “I’d prefer if you didn’t. Until we were divorced.”
My stomach flips.
“Oh. Well, are you ready to get divorced then?”
“No,” his answer is resolute.
“Okay…” I trail off, expecting him to say more on the issue.
“Okay,” is all he says back. I actually stop walking, but he keeps going, and I have to quicken my steps to catch up.
“So what does that mean then? I need you to be explicit, Alex.”
He turns, stopping, gripping my waist with one hand.
“It means I wish you would wear your ring…And I wish you’d come home.
” Home. The burn within me is building to unbearable levels.
I want his other hand in my hair, on my ass.
I want him to fuck me in his room at home.
I want him to be thinking of me and only me.
But he would never.
I ask the question that will prove this. “If you could be with her right now, would you?” His gaze darkens, and I prepare for my insides to be scorched. For him to blow me up with his answer. Gut me, Alex, so I can turn you down. Make it easy for me to walk away. Please.
“I wouldn’t, Em.” What? He steps closer and says quietly, “I want to be with someone who chooses me. With the person who asked me to stay. I want to be that person for you, too. So stay with me, Em. Please.”
Fuck. “I want to believe you mean that…” God, do I ever. With his breath skating against my cheek, my body yearns to be touching him. “If I came back, would we stay in my room, both of us?”
“If that’s what you want.” It isn’t.
“What if I want to stay in your room? With you?” It’s time for Alex to put his money where his mouth is. Could he actually relinquish the shrine? This I doubt most of all.
He looks me in the eyes, knowing I’ve seen upstairs. I’ve seen his past frozen in time.
“Come home tonight and find out.” The hair on the back of my neck stands. My arms break out in goosebumps. My eyes widen, questioning. He just stares back down at me, heat building in the small of my back, my inner thighs pulsing to know.
He leans forward, our lips nearly touching. “Think about it.”
And then, I don’t know if he comes down or I reach up, but his lips are on mine, warm and slow, feeling like the softest place to land. It’s only our second time kissing, and I feel like I can hardly even remember the first.
The nearly empty beer slips from my fingers and falls to the ground with a gentle thunk.
Moving a hand up to my neck, he holds me while I brace his biceps. And he kisses me soft and deep, angling his head to reach new depths. Fuck the football game. I want this. Not in my wildest dreams did I picture this turn.
But can he do it? Actually relinquish her?
It seems like Alex is finally willing to make the break, though.
I pull away, biting my lip, my nerves making me shake.
“Are you sure you’re ready this time?” I have to whisper to conceal my shaking voice.
“Positive,” he says back. I don’t give him an answer because I can’t. At least not honestly.
“I’ll think about it.”
He sinks his mouth down over mine again, and I know. I’ll go back to him. Probably time and time again.