Chapter 17
CHAPTER 17
West Scott
“ I still can’t believe we got cockblocked,” Alfie muttered, opening the fridge.
“You can’t? It used to happen at least twice a week before.” I tucked in my button-down before switching on the coffee machine.
“Whatever. It’s that damn cat’s fault. He makes Ellie wake up earlier.”
I chuckled and looked around to make sure we didn’t step on the little thing. “We’ll make up for it tonight.” I came up behind him and kissed his neck. “By ten PM, I’ll have my tongue in your tight little ass.”
“ Hnngh . Quit it,” he complained. “Now I gotta go all day and think about that…?”
Well, yes.
He closed the fridge without having grabbed anything, and he frowned. “How about a quickie right now?”
I checked my watch. Sadly, it was a no-go. “I’m already late, baby. And Colby will be in any second.” Instead, I kissed his cheek and then grabbed two travel mugs for us. “You’ll have to shower without me.”
I’d gotten my shower while he’d dropped the kids off at school.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come with me?” I asked. Again.
He shook his head and leaned back against the counter, arms folded.
I knew it bothered him, but hopefully I’d make some progress today.
“What if she’ll never come around?” he asked.
“She will,” I said firmly. “It’s your mother we’re talking about. You’re her everything.”
He huffed and looked out the window. “Didn’t feel that way at church.”
No, that’d been…rough.
We’d run into Giulia a little over two weeks ago at Mass, and even I had been taken aback by how cold she’d been toward Alfie. She’d greeted the children with big smiles and hugs, and she’d expressed how happy she was that we were together again, but all her attention had been on me, or Trip and Ellie.
Either way, I was determined to fix this mess today. I was meeting up with Giulia at her favorite bakery in forty-five minutes. Treating her with pastries was usually a good way to warm her up.
“I’ll get this sorted, I promise.” I pressed a kiss to his temple before grabbing the creamer from the fridge. Just a teaspoon of it was Alfie’s sweet spot since I made my coffee very strong.
“It’s not your job,” he mumbled.
“I’ll be sitting at Isgro’s eating cannoli,” I said. “That’s not a job.”
That put a small smile on his face, at least.
“How do you want to handle dinner tonight?” I wondered. “I’m assuming you’ll be working late.”
September was evidently Kellan’s vacation month, so he and Shan were somewhere in Europe at the moment, leaving Liam and Alfie to cover for him. Liam had flown in on the first to be the face, the one who handled sit-downs and whatnot, while Alfie worked his ass off in the background, whatever that entailed.
“I’mma be home and on all fours at ten PM,” he reminded me.
I laughed under my breath.
“Nah, but I don’t think we’ll be late,” he went on, scratching his forehead. “He mentioned wanting chicken at Federal, but I think he’s saving that for when the boys are with him. They’ll be with Finn and Emilia today.”
I inclined my head, having seen her plans for the boys on her Instagram account. “Well, let me know. I’ll pick up the kids after school, and then we can meet up in the city. Do you wanna spend the night at your place?”
“ Our other place, you mean?” He narrowed his eyes at me.
I just grinned, because I absolutely loved how swiftly he wanted our lives merged again.
“Our other place,” I corrected. “We could do dinner on the roof deck.”
He snapped his fingers and nodded. “We’ll do that. You head in with the kids and the furballing alarm clock, and Liam, Colby, and I will be there with takeout around seven.”
It was settled, and now I looked forward to it even more. Alfie always found the best food in Philly.
With perfect timing, our coffee was ready, and I poured it into our mugs.
“I love you.” I gave him a smooch after putting on the lid. “I’ll see you tonight.”
“Love you more. I’m definitely rubbing one out in the shower.”
I laughed on my way out. “What do you think I did earlier?”
“Oh, fucker !”
Isgro’s was packed, to no one’s surprise, so Giulia and I made our order to-go. Then we headed north on 10th until I came across a parking spot somewhat close to a park where Trip once stormed off a soccer field, proclaiming the sport was ridiculous.
Since schools had started again, the recreation areas weren’t flooded with children, and we found a bench in the shade that wasn’t broken or covered in bird shit and whatever else.
We’d also gotten the mandatory small talk out of the way. Once more, she’d expressed how glad she was about Alfie and me getting back together. That was followed by an update on the kids, including Colby. Because I was so glad he was relaxing more and more with us, and he didn’t brush off talk about the future anymore. He’d picked up another book I had recommended too, and he actually liked discussing them afterward. Then Trip and Ellie, of course. Both were thriving in school. Trip loved homework, and Ellie had made tons of friends at the new kindergarten program we’d enrolled her in.
“She dominates the conversation in the car every time we pick her up—she wants us to know everything she’s learned,” I chuckled.
Giulia smiled and placed our coffees and the pastry bag between us on the bench. “She will be a teacher one day, mark my words.” Then she shook her head as she carefully tore the bag open to become our pastry tray. “Actually—what do I know? I once believed my son was going to be a doctor or take over Phil’s business.”
Alfie had hated working in construction.
She inspected a cannoli before she flicked me a look. “Instead, he picked another family business, no?”
And we were off.
“I think it’s less about the job and more about the family,” I hedged carefully. “Having witnessed it myself now, it’s like seeing the mothership calling him home.”
She scoffed a little and picked off a small chocolate chip from the mascarpone filling. “Alfie is not an alien, tesoro . Don’t make excuses for him.”
I wasn’t making excuses. I was just…explaining and accepting.
I picked up one of my own cannoli—because yes, I’d ordered four, and only one of them was for Alfie, and no fucking shame about it.
“Why could he not do what you did?” she asked. “You went to college, you got a job, you did things right.”
I shifted in my seat, and I phrased myself carefully. “I’m not sure I’m the best comparison. My parents paid for my Ivy League education, and I never had to work extra to get by during school.”
She quirked a brow at me. “Are you saying people who do not have money should just give up and become criminals?”
“Of course not.” I frowned. “I’m only saying I was handed all the tools without any effort.”
She scoffed at that. “What a thing to say. You work hard every day.”
…she said to me while I was scarfing down a cannoli in the middle of my vacation.
But I got her point. She didn’t get mine, however.
“Giulia, I—” I stopped and let out a breath. Then a thought struck, about a show we’d watched together, and it could be a good analogy. “Do you remember that documentary we once saw about climbers on their way to Mount Everest?”
She nodded and chewed. “Crazy people with a death wish—they are only breaking their mamas’ hearts. If not every bone in their body!”
I felt my mouth twitch. “Well. If we forget the absurd sponsorships these mountaineers get many times, picture that mountain. Thousands and thousands of people have reached the top of Mount Everest, and you only get recognition and accolades for that last trek to the summit. That’s where I’m flown in on a helicopter, to take on that last section, whereas Alfie had to start at the bottom. So he’s already exhausted by the time he reaches the last camp.”
She mulled that over while she ate her cannoli, and just when I thought she was about to reply, she shook her head and took a sip of her coffee instead.
I took a bite too and hoped for the best.
Fuck, delicious as always.
Alfie, you’re the love of my life, but there is a possibility none of these cannoli will make it to you.
“For the record, this is not my excusing anyone or anything,” I felt the need to add. “It’s only my opinion on why more people from the working class will be disillusioned with the system that’s supposed to assist them in getting somewhere. Alfie and I don’t have the same upbringing. He saw injustices and unfairness where I was sheltered. The structure that maintains our society, as well as the authorities that enforce our laws, aren’t the good guys in his book. And once those lines are blurred, black-and-white morphs into gray.”
“Hm.” She nodded slowly. “You do sound like my husband.”
“What’re his thoughts on the whole thing?”
She huffed again and set down her cup. “Like he cares? He grew up around the Sons too. He saw them help old ladies cross the street, while the government just collected taxes and never gave anything back.” She looked down at her lap and sighed. “It is our duty to be better than that, West. I don’t care how many old ladies the Sons of Munster help. They still murder and steal and put drugs on our streets. How can I ever accept that my son is a part of that?”
Yeah, what the fuck could I say in response?
I could sit here all day and speak, with conviction, about injustice and unfairness, but in the end, in that final decision to either break the law or follow it, Alfie had chosen wrong. I could claim that and still love him, still stand by his side, and still understand.
Maybe that was my route with Giulia.
“I want you to know that I don’t believe what he’s doing is right,” I said.
She peered up at me.
“For me, it’s…” I sighed. “My love for him weakened my principles. I understand the circumstances that brought him—and us—to how things are today, which I suppose makes me more malleable in the situation. And that will have to be enough. It is enough. Enough for me to accept the status quo, to move on with him, and to share my life with him.”
She exhaled and looked out over the nearest soccer field.
I finished my cannoli and brushed some powdered sugar off my hands.
“He did offer to get out too,” I added. “He was willing to throw away a part of himself in order for us to find a way, and it was one of the things that sealed the deal for me.”
“If he offered to put you first?—”
“Then I did the same for him, naturally,” I replied pointedly. “I don’t want him to be someone else, Giulia. I want him just as he is, and…of course I must accept the things that make up that man. It’s what shapes him.”
She frowned and looked me up and down. “Then something is wrong with you too, tesoro .”
I exhaled a laugh.
You mean I’m sufficiently fucked in the head?
“Yeah, possibly.” I grinned to myself and picked up another cannoli. “I choose to trust Alfie when he says he still has his morals—and maybe he bends the truth a little, but we both know that man. He’s a sweetheart. A wonderful dad, a loving?—”
“That is why this pains me so much. Cazzo , I—” A burst of anger and hurt was unleashed, and she sat forward and gripped the edge of the bench. “He’s my sweet baby—and he’s hanging with those…those monsters .”
I winced, immediately thinking of a book I’d recently read about German soldiers during the war. How they could commit such heinous crimes, where most of them weren’t even forced. They just did it. They followed orders with the option of opting out. But that was a longer discussion, and war was more about dehumanizing the enemy. Alfie hadn’t been to war.
Nevertheless… “That’s a simplification that actually makes it even harder for you to come to terms with things. Alfie is not an innocent baby, and the men I’ve met in the Sons of Munster aren’t monsters.” I paused when she threw me an annoyed look. “I understand you want to view him as your sweet baby boy, Giulia, but he wasn’t tricked into that life. He chose it, and much of it was because he has so much in common with them. He’s said it made him feel like coming home.” I lifted my brows a pinch. “That’s not something a sweet baby tells a monster.”
“Wolves in sheep’s clothing,” she spat.
I scratched my eyebrow.
There aren’t enough cannoli for this.
Giulia ranted to herself in Spanish, then turned back to me.
“You have met Finnegan O’Shea and Liam Murray,” she stated.
I hesitated, unsure of where she was going with this, but I nodded in the end. It was no secret. I played golf with Shan, I went to Finn’s kids’ birthday parties, and twice last week, I’d met up with Alfie and Liam at that pub for a quick lunch.
Liam shared plenty of traits with Finnegan, but he was a little older, a little less hotheaded, appeared to think more before he spoke… Oh, but both were definitely equally observant and calculating. And fond of Alfie. Without having said it outright, Liam seemed to view Alfie as a brother, or close to it—definitely family—and I knew it was mutual.
“You say they are not monsters?” she challenged.
Oh, hell.
My choices were a philosophical debate on the definition of monster or a cluster headache. Actually, the latter might not be a choice at all. I rubbed my forehead and set down my cannoli.
Now wasn’t the time.
“I’m not going to defend two men for alleged crimes they’ve undoubtedly committed,” I said. “I’m only saying the word monster is a cop-out. It’s an attempt to create more differences between them and your son. But the truth of the matter is, Giulia, all three men have children and families they adore. All three men help friends and host birthday parties. All three men are loved by their closest. Two of them grew up within the syndicate, and one of them walked right in as an informed adult.” It was my turn to give her a pointed look. “We are not two different species. We are humans, and we are capable of doing both good and bad.”
The decisions she had to make were difficult without turning Alfie into an angel and the Sons of Munster into Satan.
“What I want to ask you,” I went on, “is if you can imagine spending the rest of your life half estranged from your son. The one who willingly joined the Sons of Munster. The one who’s a good man but, let’s face it, will probably do some incredibly stupid shit.”
She flinched and dropped her gaze, and I felt for her. I understood how conflicted she was.
“We should have gotten tequila instead of cannoli,” she muttered.
I chuckled. “Next time?”
“Trip?” I called. “Do you know where I can find the napkins?”
I didn’t understand Alfie’s kitchen. It was so narrow and long and…frankly, lacking as fuck. Not enough cupboards, barely any space in the freezer, and zero organization. Though, I suspected my mobster was to blame for the latter.
The kitchen wasn’t his area.
Trip strolled in and pointed at the small countertop on the other side of the stove. “We use that.”
Paper towels. Got it.
“Thank you. Did you finish your homework?” I asked. I grabbed the whole roll since…well, Ellie.
“We don’t have any.” He shrugged. “I’m doing an extra assignment Ms. Chen gave me when I had nothing to do.”
I frowned and looked at him. “Do you feel like you’re not being challenged enough, sweetheart?”
He shrugged and scratched his belly. “Ms. Chen promised we’ll get more soon. She said school just started.”
Fair point, I supposed. It was still early.
Before I could say anything in response, the front door was unlocked, and Alfie, Liam, and Colby entered with our dinner in white plastic bags.
Whatever they’d bought instantly filled the air with a heavenly scent of cheese and garlic.
“Hi, Dad!” Trip ran out to greet everyone, and I smiled at the sight of Alfie. I’d missed him today, particularly after my cannoli date with Giulia.
I’d called him to give him an update, but he’d been called away after getting the gist, and that had obviously worried me. I knew him. He’d overthink and get sad.
His mother was similar. I’d dropped her off at home, and she’d squeezed my hand and said she had a lot to think about.
“Uncle Liam, come meet Poppy!” Ellie hollered from the living room.
I was impressed. Three days had passed without her changing the cat’s name.
She’d originally wanted a girl cat, but none had been available at the shelter—well, no kittens. She definitely wanted a kitten. But rather than waiting a while—the horror—she’d decided she wanted a boy cat. Who had since borne the names Max, Oliver, Bob, Shorty, and Poppy.
Alfie sent Colby and Trip up with the food, then made a beeline for me, and I could sense what he wanted. I wrapped him in a tight hug and didn’t let go.
“She will come around.” I kissed the side of his head. “I know that much. We just need to give her some more time.”
“How can you know?” he asked dully.
“Because I saw her today.” I cupped his face in my hands and pressed my forehead to his. “She misses you. She still tries to sling the bullshit where you’re the angel who gets coerced by the devil.”
A bit of mirth flashed in his gorgeous eyes, and he fought a smile. “I am pretty fucking angelic.”
I chuckled through my nose and brushed my lips to his. “No, you’re definitely not, my love.”
An angel would bore me half to death in a matter of weeks.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, and he locked his arms around my neck.
“Thank you. I needed this moment.”
“Anytime.” I smooched his cheeks. “What’s for dinner? It smells fantastic.”
“Because you and Ellie are obsessed with the place and it happens to be close,” he chuckled. “Care to guess?”
Oh, I already knew, and someone was getting off twice tonight.
“I love you, I love you, let’s eat.” I gave him a hard kiss before I went to grab utensils. “Ellie! Let’s head upstairs! Daddy bought Sunday gravy!”
“Sunday gravyyy!” she cheered. “Sunday gravy, Sunday gravy, Sunday gravy!”
Damn. I guessed I didn’t have to ask if that was something they still ordered from time to time—or if she remembered liking it when she was little.
“In other words, you didn’t stop going there after our divorce.” I pretended to be a bit peeved, when, in reality, I only felt a little sad we’d missed out on our old traditions for so long.
We had a lot of catching up to do.
“It’s literally one block away, papi. But if it makes you feel any better, it was always Ellie’s demand when we drove past the place.”
That did help.
Halfway through dinner, the sun had set, and Ellie and Trip were done and wanted to watch a movie in Alfie’s bed— our bed. It was just on the other side of the terrace doors, so it was nice to have them close just in case.
I wasn’t entirely comfortable with a three-story home. If Ellie was on the first floor, we wouldn’t know if something happened, and we wouldn’t hear her if she called. But when the option was bath time, I didn’t have to worry about them ending their movie night anytime soon. They’d stall for as long as they could. They even agreed on a movie without fussing, and that was a miracle.
“Don’t tell Daddy I let Poppy up here.” I settled the little cat on Ellie’s lap and had to take a picture of the three of them, all cuddled up under the covers.
“He’s gonna know if you show him the picture,” Trip said.
“So it’ll be our secret.” I smiled at the photo before pocketing my phone. “Enjoy your movie. We’ll be right outside if you need anything.”
“Daddy?” Ellie asked. “Was Shorty a better name? Daddy and Uncle Liam liked that.”
Gee, I wondered why. Wasn’t it a common nickname for Italian wiseguys?
“The important thing is what you prefer,” I told her.
She chewed on her lip and returned her attention to Poppy. He was a gray, stripey little thing with blue eyes and white paws, and I had to admit, I was warming up to having a pet around again.
Alfie humored her but wasn’t a huge fan. Although, I’d caught Poppy purring and napping on his shoulder once on the couch, and Alfie had looked quite content then.
“I’ll think about it,” Ellie finished.
I nodded once and returned to the roof deck, where my pasta was waiting for me. I’d already finished Ellie’s leftovers, and Alfie had polished off Trip’s.
“Parents,” I heard Liam say. “They bring nothing but trouble, in my experience.”
“Same here,” Colby agreed.
Alfie chuckled. “In this case, it’s me bringing my mom trouble.”
I sat down next to him and gave his hand a squeeze. “I’ll talk to her until she can’t stay mad any longer. No matter how many cannoli it takes.”
“My hero,” Alfie laughed.
I tried my best.
“But, uh…to circle back.” Liam cleared his throat and reached for the garlic bread. “Word’s gotten around, and John knows you’re part of the family now.”
“What the fuck?” Alfie sat back, shocked.
It was bound to happen, though, wasn’t it? Despite that John Murray was retired and lived on the fringes of the family, he still saw Nessa regularly, from what I’d been told. And he visited Alec in prison.
Liam shrugged. “You wanna meet him? He’s interested.”
“Uh.” Alfie ran a hand through his hair. “Do I have to?”
“Fuck no.” With Liam’s accent, a mix of Chicago, Philly, but mostly Irish, some of his words sounded funny. “It’s up to you. I wouldn’t recommend it. He’ll feed you some bullshit about staying away being the best move and…whatever.”
While technically true, we all knew how that generation treated mistresses and their bastard offspring.
“Yeah, I think I’ll pass. I have a dad.” Alfie snorted softly and went back to eating. “As long as this doesn’t turn out to be one of those things where we swear off a meeting and then I get blindsided at a family shindig when he shows up.”
“Nah.” Liam shook his head. “If there’s one thing Finn and I have taught him the past several years, it’s boundaries. He doesn’t show up anywhere unless he’s invited.”
“Good.” Alfie stole a piece of roasted broccoli from my plate. It was his stipulation when I ordered my favorite dish—half the plate with something else, because anything with a cream base upset my stomach if I had too much of it. “To be honest, I never once felt the need to meet him. It was you and Finn and the other guys our age I was curious about.”
“I’ll drink to that, little brother.” Liam raised his beer and smirked a little. “On that note, Alec wants to meet you too.”
That made Alfie smile. “That can be arranged.” He tilted his head at me. “What do you say about visiting them in Chicago soon? We could fly out for a weekend.”
I smiled back. “Just say when. I assume it takes a minute to arrange visitation to see someone in prison…?”
Liam inclined his head. “I’ll talk to Alec and get that sorted.” He tipped his beer bottle at Alfie. “Can you do me a solid and talk to Finn? I’m just as pissed at Alec for what he did, but it’d do him good if Finn flew out too. They haven’t seen each other since before the arrest, and me brother was essentially Finn’s shadow.”
Alfie shrugged and spoke with his mouth full. “I don’t know it’ll do any good, but sure. The boss is kinda bitter about the whole thing, ain’t he?”
The boss.
See, I grew up with Bruce Springsteen being the Boss.
“You can say that,” Liam replied. “But we can fuck him up after the state of Illinois has had its turn. The lad needs family.”
Alfie nodded and was about to respond, but then he was more concerned with digging out his phone. Must’ve been on silent?—
“Oi, Dad. Two calls in one day?” he answered. “I feel special— What?” He went rigid in his seat and flicked his stare to me. “What the fuck happened? What do you mean, she’s?—”
I frowned, and the instant worry in his eyes put me on edge. Had something happened?
“Yeah, aight. I’m on my way. Send me the—yeah, okay.” He shot up from his seat, swallowed, and turned frazzled. “My mom’s in the hospital. I gotta go. Can you?—”
“Of course.” I was already standing up. “What happened?”
He gnashed his teeth and kicked back his chair with force. “She was mugged and fucking assaulted.”
Anger tore through me, not to mention worry, and I patted my pockets, then remembered my keys were downstairs.
“You go—Colby and I will watch the little ones,” Liam urged. He met Alfie at the head of the table and squeezed his shoulder. “You get all the fuckin’ details you can, ye hear? I’ll make some calls too.”
Calls to who—oh. Because he knew people in law enforcement who might have information.
I swallowed dryly and turned to Colby, but he was one step ahead.
“Just go . I’ve watched them before,” he said. “We’ll tell ’em you had to run out quick.”
I nodded once, relieved. All I could think about was Giulia in a hospital bed, or worse, stuck in the ER waiting room, so there was no mental space left for child-friendly excuses.
I ushered Alfie toward the doors and took charge, and we strode straight through the bedroom.
“Daddy and I will be back soon, sweethearts,” I said in a hurry. “Uncle Liam and Colby will explain to you.”
We were out of the room and heading down the stairs when I heard Trip’s confusion about what was going on, though it was followed by Liam’s voice. They’d take things from here.
Alfie and I picked up the pace and were soon out of the house.
“Which hospital?” I asked.
“Jefferson.”
“West, I love you, but can you please drive like you’re actually from this city?”
Not with the streets backed up with traffic, unless he wanted me to run them over or terrify the pedestrians on the sidewalk.
I didn’t say that, though. Not when he was so tense and flip-flopping between rage and despair.
“You mean like I have tinted plates, drive an Altima, or just stole my first Kia?” I went with dry humor instead.
He huffed a chuckle through a whimper and squeezed my hand. “This is why you’re my soul mate. I’m sorry—I know you’re doing all you can.”
Thankfully, things eased up farther ahead, and I was able to break a speed limit or two the last bit.
Every now and then, I side-eyed Alfie to read his expressions. The sadness and the worry were a nonissue, but the anger was a tool to make decisions he might not stand behind once the danger had passed. We crossed lines when we were furious.
Then again, did I care? Was this truly a circumstance in which I wanted to be his moral compass? I was worried about Giulia too, and I knew both her and Phil. They didn’t seek medical help until an ambulance had to pick them up.
I cleared my throat. “When Liam told you to get all the details you could…”
“You know what he meant,” he grumbled. “You think the cops are gonna give a shit, much less solve it?”
I suppressed a sigh.
No. No, I didn’t.
Screw it. Let the Sons handle it.
Alfie bounced his knee restlessly. “Is this gonna be a problem? Because I need to know so I can?—”
“No, it won’t.” I brought his hand to my mouth and kissed his knuckles. “We’re in this together.”
He sniffled, and I caught a tear rolling down his cheek right before he turned toward the window and scrubbed a hand over his face.
Right around the time I parked in a spot I’d definitely get a ticket for, Alfie’s dad let us know Giulia was being moved soon for surgery, and it sent my pulse through the roof. Because I’d stopped myself from guessing how hurt she was.
Alfie needed me to stay level.
“Is there time for me to see her first?” Alfie asked, hurrying toward the entrance. “But—” He blew out a breath and slowed down, only to curse and kick at a fire hydrant. “Aight. Yeah, okay.” He gritted his teeth and ended the call. “ Fuck . They’re wheeling her off now. Dad’s gonna come out.”
“Okay. So we’ll wait here.” I ushered him closer to the entrance and away from the center of the sidewalk. It was late enough that some of the people coming in from the street were addicts wanting to sleep in the waiting room until they needed their next fix.
I rubbed his arm and dug out my pack of smokes.
“Thank fuck,” he exhaled. “In these moments, you never tell me to calm down.”
“I know you better than that.” I held out a lighter and lit it.
He leaned in and took a drag from the cigarette.
I was holding off a while longer?—
“Oof.” I put a hand on my stomach as it gurgled.
Fuck my life.
“Wh—oh. The food? But you didn’t eat that much of it.”
I’d eaten enough, evidently. Damn that food for being so goddamn delicious. I winced.
Alfie checked his watch. “All right, we’ll start a timer. Thirty minutes from the first rumble, right?”
I would’ve laughed if I weren’t so worried about Giulia. Which, in turn, didn’t help with my digestive problems. Discomfort and unease might force me to require a bathroom break sooner than the usual thirty minutes.
“There are some things I wish you didn’t know about me,” I admitted.
“Please. We all have something. You dive for lactose when it’s possible you shouldn’t, and I’m about to murder someone.”
I gave him a sharp look.
“I’m kidding,” he grated out. “I’ll cry in my ice cream. Someone else will pull the trigger.”
Christ. We could both turn to inappropriate humor in a bad time, but this was hitting too close to home and I wasn’t in the right state of mind to determine the fair punishment for whoever had done this. Did I want anyone to pull an actual trigger? Was that going to happen? Was murder the only outcome?
I suddenly realized that my words carried power, and I had to be mindful of what I said to Alfie. This was one of those situations where I probably couldn’t talk him off a ledge, but I could certainly escalate things for the worse.
If I spoke from my fears, I’d say kill that son of a bitch .
And Alfie might take that literally.
Phil saved me from having to think about that further—for the moment—when he stepped out of the ER and spotted us.
He looked tired and angry—and like his son, he was in desperate need of a cigarette. He brought out his pack, and we met halfway.
“How’s she doing? Can you tell me exactly what happened? She’ll recover, right?” Alfie walked up and hugged him.
“She’ll recover,” Phil replied gruffly. He patted Alfie on the back and inched away to light his smoke. His open flannel shirt covered in dust told me he might’ve come here straight from the garage he shared with his brother. They worked extra there, building furniture and making minor repairs. Once he’d taken a drag, he nodded at me and gave my arm a brief squeeze. “Good to see you, West.”
“You too, Phil. Is there anything we can do?”
A breath gusted out of him, and he eyed his son. “Do you remember I called you a couple weeks ago but changed my mind?”
Alfie furrowed his brow and nodded.
“This was why.” Phil pointed at the entrance. “I don’t know how organized it is, but two or three men have been harassing women in our neighborhood the past few weeks. The first time—when I called you—one of them had just followed Giulia home, not really sayin’ shit but makin’ her feel uncomfortable. All the way to the stoop.”
I took a deep breath as white-hot anger unfurled within me.
“And lemme guess—Ma didn’t want me to know,” Alfie stated.
“She didn’t want you to get involved, and she said I was overreacting,” he confirmed.
“How hurt is she?” I had to ask.
“I’ll show you.” He trapped his smoke at the corner of his mouth and retrieved his phone. “You asked if there was anything you could do, and I want you to look at these photos—and then forgive my boy for whatever he does. I know it’s a big ask.”
A response I didn’t even know the gist of got stuck in my throat as the first photo flashed on the cracked screen.
Alfie sucked in a breath and pressed his knuckles to his mouth.
I couldn’t help it; my vision became a little blurry, and my heart just fucking broke for her. Her face was all swollen with bruises and cuts, and she had a bandage around her head and under her jaw.
Phil spoke as he showed more photos. “X-rays showed three fractured ribs, her left knee is shattered, fractures in four places down the same leg, her nose is broken, and four of her fingers too. She has a concussion, internal bleeding in her abdomen, and—” He choked up and pocketed his phone with a shaking hand.
Nausea crawled up my throat, and it was my turn to light up a smoke.
Holy fucking shit, what was wrong with people? How could someone do this to her?
“I couldn’t protect my wife,” Phil croaked. “I was workin’ late. A stranger found her in an alley and called 9-1-1.”
I touched his shoulder in silent comfort and shook my head.
It was honestly too much for me to process. The anger faded, to be replaced by an eerie numbness that scared me a little. Feeling nothing was something I associated with the worst days that followed my breakup with Alfie, when I could barely get out of bed to take care of our children.
Giulia had always been our most vocal supporter. She loved and fought loudly, usually with fists waving and curses flying out in Spanish and Italian. She was what, five feet tall? If that. And she had a casserole for every mood. If you had a headache, you got food. Bad day at work? Food. Celebration? A lot of food. You got a parking ticket? Have some food.
Alfie sniffled and scrubbed a hand over his mouth. “Whoever did this to her is dead.”
“I sure hope so, but not by your hand,” Phil said firmly, clearing his throat. “You do whatever you want with him—find him, make him sorry—but you’re not goin’ to prison for finishin’ him. You take me to him in the end. You hear me?”
I swallowed hard and glanced around us. We were alone on the sidewalk, but this was bizarre. To say these things out in public—and to mean it? This wasn’t some Hollywood movie.
“We can discuss details another time.” Alfie stubbed out his smoke against the wall, and I offered to take it. “I wanna know everything. When did this happen? What street? Who called 9-1-1? Have the cops been here? I assume she hasn’t given a statement yet.”
Phil blew out smoke and scratched his forehead, thinking. “She’d been up to see Laticia and Marisol, got off the bus at the usual place on Tasker, and you know she likes to walk the last bit.”
“Along the park?” Alfie pressed.
Phil nodded once. “And then she was walking along Morris, and someone attacked her, pulled her into an alleyway—I don’t know the exact location, only it was near the intersection on 4th. Whoever found her—it was a woman—called 9-1-1, and Giulia was coherent enough to ask for me. The cops stopped by a while ago, but she was out of it.”
Alfie brought out his phone and made some notes. “Did the woman give her statement?”
“I think so. Or she’s doing it now. The cops mentioned they’d gotten her information.”
I took a quick drag from my smoke and decided to make some calls tomorrow. Giulia and Phil were proud people—stubborn, too—but something had to give. If there was one thing Alfie and I should be able to force upon them, it was extra security. Alternatively, we didn’t tell Giulia, but Phil was probably going to agree. Maybe we could hire someone to keep an eye on her during her walks, because she sure as hell wasn’t going to change her routines for anyone.
Maybe it was something I could bring up with Finn. He did run a security company after all, and they deployed their own guards.
“And you said this has happened before?” Alfie went on.
Phil inclined his head. “Two other women in the area—same age, fifties, early sixties, walking alone after dark.”
“So it was dark when it happened,” Alfie deduced.
“Just past seven, so it was getting there.”
Alfie jotted something down. “I don’t think the surveillance is heavy around there, so I’ll see about the other two attacks.” He looked up from his phone. “What makes you think it’s more than one man doing this?”
“That’s just the rumor mill,” Phil replied. “From what I understand, there are different reports on what they look like. But the targets are similar—they were all dragged into alleyways, beat up pretty bad, and robbed.”
I frowned. “There must be something more sinister behind the attacks than walking off with whatever someone like Giulia carries around in her purse.”
“That’s what I told the cops too,” Phil grunted. “All those broken bones for forty bucks and a credit card I already froze? Doesn’t make any sense.”
Goddamn monsters.
Really. Monsters? You’re going with that word after the lecture you gave Giulia just today?
I swallowed and clenched my jaw.
“Has Mom said anything?” Alfie asked quietly. “Was she able to talk to the doctors?”
“Not much.” Phil shook his head grimly. “She’s in a lot of pain, and everythin’ happened so fast after I called you. They took a bunch of tests and X-rays, and before I knew it, a doctor said she needed surgery.” He stubbed out his smoke. “Listen—I’m glad youse came, but there’s nothing to do here but wait, and I imagine she’s gonna be out of it until tomorrow.”
Undoubtedly.
“You’re staying with her, right?” Alfie asked.
“Of course. I’ll keep you posted,” Phil promised.
“Can we get you anything before we go, Phil?” I wondered. “Food, drinkable coffee…?”
He shook his head. “I don’t have much of an appetite. I’ll be fine.”
“We’ll be here first thing tomorrow with breakfast, then,” I said. “You’re gonna need your rest too.”
Alfie slipped his hand into mine. “What he said. Let us know when we can show up.” He glanced up at me. “I don’t wanna tell Trip and Ellie yet.”
No, I agreed. We could tell them when Giulia was on the mend.
“Where are they?” Phil asked.
“Liam and Colby are watching them,” Alfie responded.
Phil’s mouth twitched a bit. “I’m lookin’ forward to meeting your latest kid. Giulia said West can’t stop talking about him.”
Alfie smirked. “She ain’t wrong. But he’s a good kid. West’s tryna corrupt him into going straight.”
“Heaven forbid,” I drawled. “I’m surrounded by gangsters these days.”
Phil puffed out a breath and chuckled quietly. “Just this once, that might be a good thing.”
Perhaps.
I sobered and thought about what lay ahead. It was going to be a rough time in our lives.
On our way home, Alfie didn’t say anything, but he held my hand in a death grip.
If I were to read him like I did before we left LA, he was scared and needed reassurance and had no clue how to ask for it.
I cleared my throat and slowed down as the lights switched to red. “What can I do, sweetheart?”
He cleared his throat too. “I don’t know. I don’t know how Finn and Liam handle this kind of shit. I don’t know if I wanna escalate or put boundaries—or if I even can. I don’t know what a fair punishment is when all I want is for that motherfucking cunt to burn.”
I inhaled deeply and took comfort in his open rambling. Openness was a good sign, no matter how it was delivered.
“Do you trust me?” I asked patiently.
He glanced over at me. “Yeah.”
I nodded once. “Then all I ask is that you keep talking to me. Regardless of what you find out when you talk to Finn and your brother, please don’t shut me out. I think we can handle this better as a team, whatever the outcome might be.”
He swallowed and eyed me warily. “Even if the fucker dies once we find him?”
“Even then,” I responded right away. “I didn’t go into this blindly or with a na?ve view of the Sons, Alfie.” I put my foot on the gas again, and I went on. “Look. Do I want you to pull the trigger? Absolutely not. I think it will hurt you in the long run, and it goes against my nature to believe citizens should act as both judges and executioners. But this is as close as I’ll get, without you or our children getting injured. I love Giulia, and I want that son of a bitch to suffer too.”
“So…”
“So, whatever happens—just talk to me, and we’ll figure it out. I accept secrecy in whatever you do on a daily basis. In fact, I’d rather not know the details. But this …? This will leave marks if it goes far enough, and it might cause a rift between us if you try to keep this quiet, all while taking a nosedive into depression or trauma or…I don’t know.”
He let out an unsteady breath and nodded slowly.
“To be honest, I don’t think I can keep this from you anyway,” he admitted. “I’m gonna need you through all of it, West. I’ll need you to ground me if I flip my lid.”
“Consider yourself grounded. No screen time either.”
He flashed an uncertain smile and squeezed my hand. I caught his eyes welling up too.
I knew what he meant, of course. Whether he called me the person who kept him grounded or his moral compass, the current clusterfuck was definitely one he didn’t want to get lost in by himself.
“Have I ruined everything?” he asked quietly.
I furrowed my brow and?—
“I mean—complicating shit,” he said. “If I was working as a bartender now and this happened, we woulda waited for the cops to do their thing.”
I sighed and shook my head. “Complicating isn’t synonymous with ruining, baby. Call me a hypocrite for wanting justice without being willing to enforce it myself, but… No, you haven’t ruined anything. And I will gladly take some complications if whoever came after Giulia will get what’s coming to him.”
He sniffled and kissed my hand. “I needed to hear that. Thank you.”
I’d tell him however many times it took.
I thought back on the conversation I’d had with her earlier today, and I had to come to grips with the aforementioned hypocrisy. But in the end, maybe it wasn’t a matter of man or monster. Perhaps it was simply about choosing sides, and I’d certainly done that. I couldn’t deny that I cared far more for “my side” than any enemy.
I didn’t care about fairness as much as I would’ve liked.
Alfie had spoken so bluntly on the matter before we’d gotten back together, and I remembered it had shocked me. And now, screw it, I was with him. It was about us. I would always choose us and our side.
“For the record, covering for Kellan is really fuckin’ boring,” he grumbled. “Since I don’t show my face much, I’m just taking calls and yelling at motherfuckers to pay up on time.”
I chuckled under my breath.
“But the money’s good,” he added with a little smirk. Then he dug out something from his pocket, and I felt my eyebrows crawl higher. It was a bundle of cash. “I made two grand today. Before September’s over, Liam estimates I’ll walk away with roughly thirty grand.”
“That settles it,” I murmured. “I’m quitting my job.”
“Kellan makes bank .”
“Yeah, well. I had four cannoli today.”
I also really needed to go to the bathroom.
“I’ll get you all the cannoli you want,” he promised. “Maybe I can get one next time.”
I wasn’t making any promises.
“We’ll see,” I said. “Now, what are we telling Trip and Ellie? I don’t want to drop them off at school and kindergarten tomorrow morning with the slightest worry about their nonna.”
“Yeah, no, fuck that,” Alfie agreed. “They’re asleep now, so maybe we downplay shit tomorrow—she fell or something, but there’s nothing to worry about?”
That would work. Even though they loved Alfie’s parents much more than mine, their attention spans weren’t great if they didn’t sniff out that something might be seriously wrong. For instance, when Trip had asked about my parents the other week, I’d shrugged it off and said they were traveling.
Sooner or later, I’d tell them a child-friendly version of how we weren’t on good terms at the moment, which was an understatement. Some nosy neighbor of mine must’ve spoken to my mother because she’d been calling more often lately. I could only assume she’d found out I was back with Alfie.
It wasn’t on my list of priorities to even send her a text.