Chapter 16 Bennet recalls his past and gives his consent. #2
Darcy was unsure how to approach this situation.
If he were to marry Elizabeth, he would become bound to the deception and undoubtedly feel some guilt at intentionally misleading others.
However, upon reflection, he realized he had no choice.
Even if he did not necessarily like some of his friend’s past actions, he understood that, many years ago, there was little choice left to Bennet, and he had done what he felt was best to protect his daughters. Bennet interrupted his thoughts.
“Have you any more questions before we commence our business? I assume that is why you have come so early.”
Darcy abruptly recalled his true mission that morning and uneasiness enveloped him. It was tempting to delay the interview in favour of discussing the will, which was Bennet’s expectation. His distraction drew his friend’s attention.
Bennet was surprised to see Darcy become flushed and uncomfortable.
He knew this reaction could not merely be the result of the previous discussion or from the intended conference regarding the girls’ inheritance.
He became concerned as to what would cause Darcy to be so discomposed but decided to hold his tongue and allow his friend to overcome his hesitance.
Darcy vacillated. He stood and strode about the room for a few moments and then stopped to face Bennet with hands clasped behind his back.
“No, Bennet, I come for another reason.” Darcy struggled to maintain a bold and confident front in spite of his nervousness. “I have asked for Lady Elizabeth’s hand in marriage, and she has accepted me. I am here to request your consent, and I hope also for your blessing.”
Bennet abruptly looked about the room, trying to gather his thoughts on this disclosure. His confusion was evident. “When did this occur? You have both only just returned to Hertfordshire.”
“Sir, it was serendipitous that we met again about a fortnight ago in Kent,” Darcy said. His face betrayed his feelings of gratification on re-establishing a relationship with Elizabeth.
“Yes, Lizzy’s letters spoke of you in passing, but she was more verbose about your aunt.
I did ask after you, and her response indicated that she now thought better of you, but there was nothing to make me surmise that she had amended her attitude sufficiently for an agreement of marriage.
So am I to take it that there was enough condescension on Lady Catherine’s part to put you into the position of reacquainting yourself with Elizabeth? ”
“That is correct, sir. We were much in each other’s company.”
As much as Bennet had always hoped that Darcy and Elizabeth would overcome their differences and form an attachment, he was still surprised it had occurred and a bit annoyed that he had not been able to monitor the courtship.
Therefore, he felt it was his right to challenge his friend.
He was not particularly disgruntled but considered it necessary to ensure that the engagement was occurring for the right reasons.
“And in the company of others, you were able to determine a desire to marry her against your convictions? I recall a discussion where you most emphatically denied any strong attraction to my daughter.”
“And I recall you responded with scepticism and warned me that she did not return my good opinion, yet she is now fond enough of me to have accepted my suit,” Darcy said.
The statement came off as defensive. Would his past behaviour affect his ability to gain the permission he so desired?
He did not know how he would exist if Bennet denied his request.
“That is true. And what changed your opinion, sir?” Bennet asked while rising from his seat to face Darcy at his level. Affecting a stern appearance, he crossed his arms and waited for the response.
Darcy was clearly uncomfortable now, but the younger man had to have anticipated that this would be the likely course of the conversation, and friendship notwithstanding, Bennet would be thorough in his interrogation.
Darcy’s experience in hiding his feelings did not betray his true panic at the possibility that he might not be able to share his life with his beloved Elizabeth.
He looked away and cleared his throat before responding mildly, “You are implying that knowledge of her fortune and connections influenced me to pay my addresses.”
“You see my position clearly,” Bennet said.
“As you have inferred, my regard for Miss, er, Lady Elizabeth is a long-standing one; I have always respected her cleverness of mind,” Darcy said with vehemence.
He struggled for a way to express to Bennet how important she was to his happiness.
“I am not certain when I began to fall in love with her; I was in the middle of it before I realized it. I was imprudent enough to let my pride interfere, but I have long held a tender regard for your daughter. My heart has been hers almost from the first time we met.”
“Yes, in spite of your protests, Mrs. Bennet and I had observed your affection. So why did you not follow a course to win her until Kent? I implied that her fortune and connections were adequate for your interest. I was not at liberty to elaborate at the time, but surely you could have overlooked that if your regard was strong.”
“Yes, I recall your words—‘she has everything necessary to attract an offer from a man of your station.’ But I believed you meant she had a larger portion than was generally known, yet fortune was never a strong consideration for me. I am ashamed to admit that my hesitance was due to her connections being apparently below mine. I hope I have not offended you.”
Bennet chose not to respond to the last and instead stated, “I also told you that Lizzy was not inclined to like you, and you just owned to it. How is it then that she has accepted you?”
“It is of peculiar circumstances. Mrs. Collins thought she had seen Mr. Wickham in the area of Hunsford, and we felt there was a possibility he might be a danger to Lady Elizabeth. Therefore, Mrs. Collins and I agreed that I would do my best to accompany her on her morning walks.” Bennet noted Darcy’s gentle tone as one of protectiveness.
“It was an opportunity to show her the feelings you saw last November. Through our conversations, I believe Lady Elizabeth’s regard for me was strengthened. I apologised for my slight at the assembly ball, and she declared us to be friends. It taught me to hope.”
Darcy made his speech with the utmost sincerity. It left no doubt in Bennet’s mind that he should accept this young man as his son, but in spite of this, he had one important question to ask.
It was the one Darcy had been dreading but knew was inevitable.
“So she likes you enough to accept your suit. But when did your proposal take place? Was it before or after you knew her true situation?”
“I had long before decided to disregard what I believed would be my family’s response to our connection and follow my heart.
I know that I waited too long, but in my defence, I was not certain of her regard for me beyond friendship, which we had agreed upon only days before.
Once I convinced myself that she had affection for me, I was determined to find a time when we could be alone to declare myself.
Even then, I was worried she would reject me. ”
Bennet made no response, so Darcy continued his explanation. “When I received your letter, I realized that once her fortune and connections became widely known, she would attract the attention of other men, including my cousin, who she seemed to like very much.”
Darcy looked away.
“I felt such jealousy and fear in my heart that I was overwhelmed with dread that I might lose her, and my love for her caused me to think irrationally. You see, at that time, I had not absolutely confirmed Miss Elizabeth’s love for me, and I started doubting my judgement of her regard.
I am still afraid of losing her should you deny me this permission. ”
The pitch of Darcy’s voice rose and his colour became high as he poured out his insecurities, and Bennet recognized that Darcy had truly felt a great deal of anxiety about the proposal, its timing and the uncertainty of Elizabeth’s response.
“Did you tell her that you knew of her connections?” asked Bennet. “I have not yet told her myself.”
“No, I have not. I felt it unacceptable to divulge confidences that are yours alone to relate.”
“What do you suppose she will feel once she knows that you offered for her only after learning about her desirable fortune and connections?” Bennet queried, still intent on challenging his friend but also pitying his situation.
“I do not know. I am regretful of the timing, but I had no earlier opportunity for a private audience. I admit that I somewhat botched the proposal by telling her why I had hesitated, but also that I had intended to propose even without the knowledge of her situation. I hope she recalls the latter part of my declaration and accepts my sincerity on the former.”
“You think she will?”
“She declared herself in love with me. I hope that is enough.”
“So you love her?” Bennet asked. Darcy inclined his head in admission.
“I love her without limit,” he said with a passion that astonished Bennet.
“I cannot imagine a life without her by my side. I beg of you, Bennet, to relieve my suffering and give me permission to take your daughter as my wife. I shall not satisfy myself until I am able to care for her in a way that you would approve of as a loving and doting husband.”
Bennet pulled in a deep breath and blew it out heavily.
“Well,” he said, “that is no surprise to me, and I do believe she is in love with you. I thought this might be the inevitable result of Jane and Bingley’s betrothal and your coming to Longbourn together.
Mrs. Bennet and I have hoped for this and I am glad you met again in Kent.
Very well, you have my consent and my blessing.
I could not part with her for any one less worthy. ”