Chapter Thirty Purgatory Is a Re Episode
Chapter Thirty
Purgatory Is a Reunion Episode
Three months later, I’m behind the set of the Dawn Tay’s Inferno Hell-All special. Not because I want to be here, but because I’m contractually obligated to show up for any and all post-show promotional reunions. I listen to the introductions and initial commentary of all the other contestants who didn’t make it into the final three, and nervously await my cue to walk onstage.
Cindy screamed when I told her that, despite several ongoing legal proceedings involving nearly everyone who’d been on Dawn Tay’s Inferno , the network was going to be allowed to run the Dawn Taylor tell-all—I’m sorry, hell-all —and that none other than Tony Warren of Cats with Hats fame would be the host. Well, okay, Cindy’s scream was mostly because I was going to be seeing Tara’s favorite (in her words) “Canadian cat lover, reality TV host dad,” and less about my anxiety over the legal ramifications of the show, but still.
I wanted to scream for entirely different reasons:
Chase is going to be there.
Daniel is going to be there.
The special is going to be filmed live.
I haven’t seen either Chase or Daniel face-to-face since we parted ways so many weeks ago, but it’s the third item that’s particularly terrifying to me. If I cross my legs wrong and everyone sees up my skirt, or if I lean over too far and the camera has a view down my shirt, anyone watching will see it, and the moment will live on the internet forever, and oh, god, what if one of my students sees it? And of course, there are no retakes if I flub my lines, and no handy coaching from the sidelines from Leah.
Backstage, I can feel anxiety lodge itself like a hard knot just underneath my rib cage. In my head, I start to make a list:
Do not say anything your lawyers told you not to say in regard to Peter Dixon, Dawn Taylor, or the show
Take a deep breath in between major ideas when you talk
In fact, take a deep breath now
Figure out what you were instructed to do with your hands when sitting because you forgot—
My internal list-making is put on pause when Selena walks in, and now I’m nervous for a different reason. I haven’t seen her in person since she was knocked off the bridge during the Heresy Challenge. In fact, my last memory of her was the look of betrayal on her face when it was revealed that Chase was still in love with me.
But now she looks completely different. She’s wearing a slinky, champagne-colored dress dress that falls around her like shimmering water. Her hair is in long tousled waves, and she looks poised and confident. And to my surprise, Chase follows her in, looking smart in a matching champagne blazer. They’re holding hands, and when they catch me looking, Chase grins sheepishly.
“Hey, Alice,” he says, waving.
“Alice, it’s so great to see you,” Selena says.
“Is it?” I ask. I wrinkle my nose at her to show that I’m teasing.
“Of course,” she says, pulling me into one of those careful hugs where no one wants to mess up their clothes or makeup. I’m sure to anyone watching, it looks like two Barbies trying to embrace. “Are you glad to see me?”
“I am,” I say, and I’m a little surprised at how much I mean it. “It was incredibly messed up what we all went through, but I’m glad we came out of it as friends.”
Selena gives my hand a squeeze. “I’m glad, too.”
STORY NOTES FOR EDITORS: “DAWN TAY’S INFERNO HELL-ALL: JOURNEY BACK TO HELL” (CONT.)
DAWN TAYLOR: Honestly, babe, I wish I could say I was surprised by Peter’s actions, but I should’ve seen it coming. Not everyone can handle the pressure of Hollywood. Some of us bloom, and some of us self-combust.
TONY WARREN: Now, Dawn, from what we’ve heard about what went down on the island, it sounds like some of the events that happened were intentional and at your direction. I think we all want to hear what you have to say about that.
DAWN TAYLOR: Of course. I’m so glad you brought that up, because I want to take this moment to deeply, truly apologize to every single contestant and especially Selena Rivera. There were things that Peter Dixon did on the set that I incorrectly assumed were coming from Selena, too. And because of that, I got carried away trying to hold on to my role as host. I lost sight of what was important. I let Peter get in my head.
TONY WARREN: What do you mean by “things he did on the set”?
DAWN TAYLOR: Peter knew that I had a stalker years ago, and that’s part of why I quit acting for a while. He took advantage of that part of my past—leaving madeleines outside my door, slipping me threatening notes. I assumed Peter and Selena were in on it together, trying to bully me out of my own show. But later I realized that Selena was an innocent victim in all of this. That instead of letting Peter turn me against her, I should’ve been working with her in this male-dominated industry. So, inspired by what happened on the island, I’m starting Dawn Taylor’s Internship Inferno , a YouTube miniseries where I select five young women in the industry to mentor and, of course, put through hell. The one who wins will get to be my personal assistant!
TONY WARREN: What a great way to turn a negative experience into something constructive.
DAWN TAYLOR: Yes. From now on, I’m here to lift up my fellow women. And on a personal note, tonight I’d like to officially invite Selena to be my cohost of the next season of Dawn Tay’s Inferno !
[Audience applause and cheers.]
DAWN TAYLOR: Thank you! Thank you. Yes, it just feels like the right thing to do. After all, being a woman in this industry is its own kind of hell.
I don’t feel any less nervous by the time Dawn gets through her segment and Chase and Selena are called onstage.
I’m wandering around backstage trying to distract myself when I spot Lex. They’re rummaging around the craft services table.
“Lex!” I shout, running up to them.
“Keep it down!” Lex says. “You probably just ruined their take.”
“Lex!” I stage-whisper. “You’re off-duty here, right? Giving an interview instead of recording one.” Some of the crew were brought in to give their side of the story. “Why are you stressing about the sound?”
Lex gives me a wry smile. “Old habits die hard.”
“You must be slipping if you’re late getting to the snacks,” I tell them.
Lex shakes their head. “Tell me about it. And there isn’t anything to drink here. What’s up with that?”
“I got you!” I reach into my bag and pull out a bottle of H2Whoa.
“Thanks. I better go get my mic on now. Weird to be wearing one instead of listening in.”
“Yeah, sorry about that. I guess since Daniel and I were talking about how the three of us solved this thing together, they decided to rope you into talking about it, too.”
“It’s cool. I just got a new haircut, so I might as well show it off,” Lex says. They turn their head to show off their fresh new undercut, and I ooh and ah appreciatively. Then Lex gets called onstage.
I’m surveying the craft services spread when Leah walks by, notices me, and stops short. Her eye-catching red jumpsuit emphasizes the red in her curls, and for once, she’s not messing with them upon seeing me.
“Alice, so nice to see you,” Leah says, raising a hand when she gets close to me, and I instinctively look down at myself, wondering if my hair’s out of place or if I’ve gotten something on my dress. Leah laughs at my reaction and says, “You look wonderful, I promise. I’m not going to adjust you. If there’s anything I learned from Inferno , it’s that you can take care of yourself.”
“Sorry. Reflex.” I lean into the hug that I now realize she was trying to give me from the start. “I wasn’t sure if you would be here.”
Leah makes a face. “I wish I weren’t. But it’s in the fine print of my contract to do this, which means I’ve got to actually go on camera and talk about what happened.”
“You don’t sound thrilled,” I say.
Now Leah does tug at her curls. “I’m not used to being the one onscreen.” Leah takes a deep breath. “Wish me luck.”
“Wait,” I say. “Uh, where’s your purse?”
“I left it backstage. Why?”
I pull a lip gloss out of my own bag and wave it at her. Leah bursts out laughing and then obediently purses her lips for me. I lightly touch up her gloss.
“There, perfect,” I say. “You’re going to do great.”
“Thank you,” Leah says, smiling at me.
“Any last-minute advice for me?”
Leah squeezes my hand. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but just be yourself.” She starts to walk off, but then pauses and calls back to me, “And don’t slouch!” She is almost out of sight when she can’t resist turning back one last time to shout, “And don’t fiddle with your hands!”
Then she hurries off to her interview.
“She’s right, you know,” says someone new.
That voice.
I recognize it instantly. I know without turning around that Daniel Cho will be standing behind me, looking unfairly devastating in a black tuxedo or whatever the hell wardrobe decided to put him in. And I know that he’ll be giving me that trademark half smile of his that I know and love so well, and my heart keens.
We haven’t seen each other in person since we left the island. That had been part of the agreement to take it slow: stay apart while we sort out our lives, be methodical and logical, and make sure whatever this is between us isn’t some trick of the lighting on set.
For me, going slow meant making a spreadsheet of everything in my life I had to disentangle from Chase and everything I wanted to do for my mom, and a checklist of signs that I’d be emotionally ready to take the plunge into a new relationship.
I’ve just completed “get Chase off of my Netflix account,” and a part of me is wondering if I’m ready to move forward.
But hearing Daniel’s voice in person, and not on FaceTime or one of those extended phone calls where we’d talk late into the night and accidentally fall asleep on the line, I think that maybe it’s time to let go and, yes, forget the spreadsheet.
When I do finally turn around, Daniel’s just as I imagined. He smiles at me, fixing the cuff on his suit. His tie matches the color of my dress. He must’ve chosen it after I’d texted him a photo of the look I was going to wear to this.
Seeing him physically here, it’s almost impossible not to reach out to him. I step forward to close the distance between us, and every one of my senses is attuned to him—the way he tilts his head toward mine, the timbre of his voice, the scent of the cologne he’s wearing.
And my mind goes back to what he said before I turned around: “She’s right, you know.”
So of course the first thing out of my mouth is “If you’re talking about what Leah said, I already know not to slouch.”
He smiles, shaking his head. “I meant the other thing.”
“About folding my hands?”
“Ha. No, I’m talking about you being yourself. That’s why people are watching tonight.”
“Is it? I thought people were mostly here to see Tony Warren live and in person,” I say.
“No, you’re what the people want,” he says. “I watched the show. Did you?”
I nod. I cringed through so much of it, reliving some of my worst moments. But there were also some of my best, too.
“You stole the show. The crowd wants you. Or maybe I’m biased in this particular instance, because I’m very certain you’re what I want,” he adds softly, folding my hands in his, bringing them up to brush his lips against my knuckles.
My heart stutters in my chest, and I close my eyes.
“Daniel, what are you saying?” I ask.
“Remember what we talked about last time?” he asks, knowing damn well how excellent I am at remembering discrete pieces of information. “I’m ready when you are.”
Damn him. He’s going to make me tear up.
“You have the worst timing,” I say. “We’re about to go on live TV. And I’m only eighty percent done with my relationship readiness checklist.”
He laughs. “Only eighty? You’ve been slacking, Slayer. I’m starting to worry you’re not properly motivated.” He raises a hand to my cheek. “But knowing you, the last twenty percent is likely overkill.”
“Overkill is the best kind of kill,” I mutter. But he looks so damn good right now, I’m ready to throw out the whole checklist. I don’t need a spreadsheet or a balanced equation to tell me that I want him. I can feel it in every part of me that this is right. This is what I need.
He laughs. “At least I know you’ll never let me get complacent.”
“How gracious of you to give me a lifetime to keep your ego in check,” I reply, and now I laugh too, because at last, finally, we’re here. “But seriously, Daniel? Right before we go onstage?”
“I had to say something now,” he says, earnest. “I don’t ever want you in front of a camera again without knowing how I really feel. Whatever they ask us up there, you need to know that when I talk about what I want for us, for both of us, it’s not just for show. It’s the truth.”
“I do know,” I say. “And there’s something I’ve been meaning to say to you.” This is it. Daniel watches me intently, and I know he’s waiting to hear the words that I’ve been wanting to say since the last time I was in his arms.
“I love you.” It’s easier than I thought it’d be. This feels like a dam bursting, all of the feelings I’ve kept pent up finally being set free.
Daniel grabs my hand as someone on set signals us to watch for our cue, and I squeeze his hand back in return, feeling more sure than ever.
“Ready?” he asks as a crew member in all black signals to us.
“Not really. Let’s get this over with.”
Then we’re beckoned forward.
“Please welcome Alice Chen and Daniel Cho!” says Tony Warren from the stage.
The music cue comes on, and I wave at the audience in what I’m sure is the perfect impression of a robot homecoming queen as Daniel and I enter stage left. The bright glare of spotlights follows me, and with the applause, it’s hard to perceive anything except the pounding of my heart and the weight of Daniel’s hand in mine as I step onto the platform.
In a way, it feels the same as jumping into the ocean on day one, except that instead of being left on the platform while Chase leaps headfirst without me, I have Daniel right here with me.
Tony Warren smiles encouragingly at me as I sink into the love seat. The audience continues to applaud, the noise overwhelming me. As Tony introduces us, I sneak a look at Daniel, who smiles softly at me, and suddenly I feel a lot calmer.
“Now, Alice,” Tony says, earnestly staring at me from his chair, the paragon of active listening, “we all know you’ve been through so much. Can you paint a picture for us about your experience?”
I nod. “Well, Tony, for me, it all started when my ex-fiancé, Chase, learned about this new reality show from his friend Bryan.”
Dawn Tay’s Inferno: Where Are They Now?
If you’re wondering what ended up happening to all of those couples on the pop culture phenomenon Dawn Tay’s Inferno , we’ve got you covered!
Brittany and Jaxon have used their fifteen minutes of fame to put their bed-and-breakfast on the map. Fans of Dawn Tay’s Inferno have been flocking to this B&B, and they recently announced they’ve saved up enough to buy their own farm.
After a failed attempt at launching Alpha Up, a paid lifestyle coaching service, Dominic and Zya had a very public and very messy breakup. Zya is campaigning to get on Dancing with the Stars , though rumor has it that casting is already complete. Dominic is attempting to launch his own podcast, The Dominic Republic.
Naiah and Sage are using their platform to promote rainforest conservation projects—namely, by camping out in the rainforest and posting about it on Instagram.
After their separation, Firefly is busy preparing for her next visit to Burning Man in the fall, while Barry (aka Bacon) is steadily moving up the corporate ladder of the tech start-up Cheerm. But all hope is not lost for this star-crossed couple! The two were seen getting smoothies together as recently as last week.
Kendall and Tarun are currently on a whirlwind tour of culinary hot spots throughout Asia. Only follow along if you’re prepared to be very hungry.
Bella and Blake , not the most popular couple on the show, have since broken up. Blake has found his niche doing appearances at nightclubs, while it seems like Bella has joined a commune for former influencers.
Ava and Noah are using the prize money to retire early and travel the world. Who knew these workaholics could unplug?
Mikayla and Trevor , formerly #Trekayla, have split up. Trevor can now be found under the account @TrevOnMyOwn. Mikayla has decided to take a break from social media and is currently on a meditation retreat sponsored by Lotus Meditation known as “Meditation Unplugged.”
Selena and Chase can be found together on their next adventure, Race to the Top , coming next spring! And don’t forget, in the fall you can catch Selena cohosting the second season of Dawn Tay’s Inferno with Dawn Taylor.
Alice is still teaching. Daniel quit his lawyer job and is cooking up a culinary adventure shipping Korean snack boxes worldwide.
ALICE’S DAY PLANNER
Priority items
Pay Hospital Bills – DONE DONE DONE
ROMANTIC SURPRISE #1 and #2
Finalize “Our Future” presentation
Can’t wait for tonight! –D.C.
Friday
6:15 a.m. Leave for school
7:35 a.m. 7th Grade Math
8:35 a.m. 8th Grade Math
9:35 a.m. 7th Grade Math Honors
10:35 a.m. Remedial Math
11:35 p.m. Lunch break → CALL CINDY TO GET ONIONS FOR DINNER
12:10 p.m. Team Planning
1:10 p.m. FREE PERIOD → Finish up grading before weekend
2:10 p.m. 8th Grade Math Honors
3:05 p.m. Wrap up and pack for Mom’s house
4:00 p.m. Block for INTENSE COOKING HERE
6:00 p.m. Dinnertime!
7:00 p.m. Romantic Surprise #1
8:00 p.m. Romantic Surprise #2
9:00 p.m. Netflix and Chill
10:00 p.m. Literally chill, probably