39. Alice
39
Alice
W ill told me he loves me—a month ago. And yet, I still find myself pondering the fact. It feels surreal. Wonderful and unreal all at the same time.
It’s made me ponder love in general. I’m good at research, and that’s what I’ve been doing.
Love. Google says love is an intense feeling or affection.
Yep. I feel that.
Google also says it’s taking a great interest or pleasure in something.
Yes, I take great pleasure in Will Henley.
Grandma Lucy says love is the little things—kind words, a loving gesture, doing the dishes so they won’t have to.
Will might be more of a grand gesture kind of a guy. But grand gestures surely deem love as much as the little things, right? A bed—because I know he talked Billy into that. Wearing ridiculous pants just to make me smile. Cooking for my parents. Dinner and a personal lesson on a private field.
Grand .
Does Will ever do little?
I lie on my bed—man, it’s a good bed—and think. Once when Theo shot down one of my ideas in front of the entire team, Will nudged his foot with mine. Then he told Theo exactly why he didn’t hate the rotten idea—because Theo was right, it wasn’t great. The team doing a circus stunt in one of our advertisements… I’m not sure what I was thinking. We were brainstorming as a team, and for every good idea I had, I also had two bad ones. Some days are just like that. I freely admitted the idea sucked.
Will still nudged my foot. He still silently told me that I didn’t suck. Which I think means that Will can do small. Those small and simple things that mean so much.
Love . It’s such a big word. But my honest, truthful feeling is that I love Will Henley.
I’ve never been in love before. And I know our time together has been short.
But I can’t deny it.
My phone pings, and I pick it up, staring at the screen.
“Or maybe I can deny it.” I press my lips together, staring at the group name across my screen: “Uncles + Princess.”
My dad got me a phone at five years old—he didn’t want me at my mom’s place without a way to contact me. This group name has been in place for twenty-one years. I’ve never really balked at it before. But Theo is still dropping princess jokes. And I’m so tempted to swap the name out for a simple “Uncles.”
I don’t because it might break Uncle Owen’s heart. He’s a sensitive soul. Not to mention Uncle Levi would want to know— why the change. Then, I’d have to tell him about Theo and Mateo, and if I do that, I might get a visit from all four of my uncles.
Nope—best to just leave the name as is.
I talk to someone in my family every day—Coco, Dad, Lula—but usually one on one.
This is not one on one. This is all my BFF uncles in one text thread together. This is what I get for being too busy to call them or too busy to go home for a visit.
I hit the screen and open Uncle Levi’s text.
Levi: Lula said you had something to tell us.
Owen: When are you coming home, princess? We miss you.
Miles: How’s work?? Did they like your logo? Have you met the boss yet?
Logo… that was a while ago… has it really been so long since I’ve talked to the four of them?
Cooper: Forget work. How’s the guy? Lula says there’s a guy.
Levi: Wait, guy? What guy?
Cooper: She’s not a kid, Levi. In fact, if memory serves me correctly, she’s three years older than Meredith was when you two got together.
Levi: Shut up, Coop. Nobody asked you.
Owen: You haven’t met your boss? Did everyone else know that? That’s strange. Now—who’s the guy? Is he uncle-approved?
Miles: Alice? You there?
Me: Just waiting for the four of you to decide who’s king of the mountain.
Cooper: Oh, I am definitely king.
Levi: Can someone tell me what’s going on? Guy?
Cooper: Sorry, princess. I didn’t know it was a secret. Lula told me.
Me: It’s not a secret.
It’s totally a secret! And my sister is dead.
Levi: Then, by all means, fill those of us who don’t know what’s going on in.
Me: There is a guy.
Miles: We may have established that.
Me: I work with him. His name is Will. And I like him.
Levi: How much?
Cooper: Seriously, poor Quinn. Levi, your daughter will never get away with having a boyfriend.
Levi: Quinn is thirteen. She has at least twenty years before I have to worry about any of that.
Owen: Levi, are you serious?
Cooper: Of course he’s serious.
Miles: Can we get back to Alice? We can save Quinn in three years when she’s going to prom.
Levi: No prom. Remember what happened to Leah?
Cooper: Hey, that’s my wife. And it all worked out. So… yes prom.
Me: Hello? Still here. Did anyone have an actual question for me?
Levi: Define ‘like him.’
Owen: I was wondering that myself.
Me: Like as in, admire, trust, adore, enjoy one’s company… You know, LIKE.
Levi: Adore?
Miles: I was just going to write that. Adore?
I swallow and stare at my phone. I have always—my entire twenty-six years of life—called these four wonderful men my best friends. Wouldn’t friends share? So?—
Me: Adore.
Me: I might even love him.
Owen: Might?
Me: Do.
Me: I do love him.
Me: But don’t tell Dad!
Levi: This is why Quinn is waiting to date until she’s thirty.
Miles: Whoa. Love, princess? You’re in love?
Owen: That’s huge, Alice.
Cooper: What’s his name? I’m googling him.
Me: Whoa. Nope. No way. No Google. His name is Will. That’s all you get.
Miles: William Baxter—as in your boss?
I stare at Miles’ text, my heart thumping, those fuzzy lines returning as if I’m missing something important. Something right in front of me but fuzzy.
Me: That isn’t Will’s last name. That’s my boss. Maybe. I’m sure there are plenty of Billy Baxter’s in the world.
That great big organ in my chest has decided to pump blood through my body to the tune of Uptown Funk in double time.
Miles: Did you ever meet him?
Me: No. He likes his privacy. He works through Will.
It sounds so strange as I write it out to them. I’ve been living it, listening to Will bag on Billy as much as he makes excuses for him. It’s just been life these past few months. Not weird. Just life.
But it feels strange as I type.
Owen: Do we get to meet him?
Miles: When are you coming home?
Me: Yes. Hopefully. Not sure when I’ll be coming home. For sure by Thanksgiving.
Levi: I don’t like this.
Cooper: Shut up, Levi.