46. Alice
46
Alice
I t’s been two days—two, and I’m like a mad woman. Every time we’re with other people, I talk and talk, all while trying not to say the wrong thing.
“I’m not sure I can do this,” I say.
“You can.”
I stare at Will. I acted like a lunatic again today. If I wasn’t almost giving him away, then I was talking nonsense. I literally called the man Billy today. He doesn’t even go by Billy, but the name came out of my mouth.
And then I chalked it up to having seen Billy the night before. I came up with a bogus story for our team. One that included lobster, my roller skates, and Billy the Billionaire Baxter. Why can’t I just keep quiet? It’s like signing that NDA turned me into an anxious crazy person who can’t stop talking.
“You want to keep this secret,” I say.
“I do.”
“But I can’t?—”
“You’ll get the hang of it,” Will says, his fingers slipping through mine.
I sink into his couch. I want him. I love him. But I’m not sure I want to get the “hang of” being deceitful. It feels wrong in so many ways.
I know he doesn’t see it that way or even mean it that way. But I can’t help how I feel. “It doesn’t—” I start, unable to quite finish my thought.
He smiles, but it’s a sad expression. “It doesn’t feel right.”
I shake my head, a tear slipping from my eye. “I don’t want to mess up your life, Will.”
“You’re not. You couldn’t.”
But I could—in fact, I think I am.
I need help. I need to talk to someone who loves me, who knows me, who has always wanted what’s best for me. Who can help me see straight?
And that someone is not my mother who just texted me to say that she could really use some spending money. Clearly, the boundaries I attempted to set are going to need reinforcements. She is certain my boss will give me a loan if I’d only show a little cleavage. Ugh. If she only knew.
“Uncle Miles.” I nod and pace in my small living room. “He’s down-to-earth and completely logical. He’ll be helpful. And he won’t call me out if he thinks I’m being less than forthright.” Which is going to happen. Thanks to that little NDA.
I pull up his last text message and hit the small camera on my screen to FaceTime him.
Someone answers, only that someone isn’t Miles.
It’s Owen.
Nope, I didn’t call Uncle Miles, I hit the camera button in the chat with every single one of my uncles.
That’s fine. This won’t be an overwhelming mess at all… nope , I’ll just get more than one perspective. I can do this. I am a twenty-six-year-old woman, I can tell a story that isn’t completely truthful, one that doesn’t involve roller skates. I just need a substitute—for identity, for billionaire. It’s not a lie exactly. It’s a parable. (Said no honest girl ever!)
“Alice!” Uncle Owen sings.
And as long as Uncle Levi doesn’t pick up, I should be in the clear. That man would call me out quicker than York eating a cheeseburger.
And then Levi’s face comes into view. “A call? Nice. I’m getting tired of those long group texts.”
“Hi, guys,” I say, just as Miles and Cooper pick up too.
My face goes red with warmth. This might have been a bad idea—but there’s no backing out now. I need advice. Can I do this or not? Should I stay or leave? Am I going to out Will or not? I don’t want this to end, but I don’t want Will resenting me either.
“Hey, princess.” Coop smiles.
“Hi, Alice,” Miles says, his tone calming. And yet, calling every single one of my bestie uncles isn’t that calming at all.
Each of my uncles’ faces takes up a portion of my phone. Levi’s at the bike shop. I can see Miles’ art studio behind him. Owen is at the gym, sweat on his brow. And Cooper seems to be alone in his law office. None of them is lounging around doing nothing—and yet they all picked up. They answered their phones. For me.
My eyes sting with unshed tears. My forever best friends. I love them so much. And while calling to tell them a tale might not be my best idea, I realize, with each of them in view, that I need them right now.
“How’s Tesoro?” Cooper asks.
Just as Levi says, “What’s up?”
I swallow. Okay, time to pull this off. “It’s good. Mostly. Um, sort of. I need advice.”
“On?” Owen asks.
“Sort of?” Levi growls. “What’s wrong?”
They all stare back at me, waiting for an answer.
“I need advice on staying and working or coming home.”
Miles’ forehead wrinkles in worry. Cooper hums out questioningly. Levi’s brows furrow menacingly. And Owen rubs a hand over his sweaty head.
“Has the job ended? What about… the guy?” Owen says.
To which Levi growls.
“I’m not sure we can make things work,” I say, feeling a stab of pain at the words.
“I’ll kill him,” Levi says, his growl blooming.
“Chill, Levi.” Cooper sets his phone down, his hands and face in full view. “Let her talk.”
I clear my throat. “Well, he kind of told a lie—” NDA. Am I allowed to say that he lied? I didn’t say who he is, and I didn’t say billionaire. So… yeah. I think I can say lie. Maybe I can tell this parable after all.
“I’ll kill him!” Levi barks again.
“Cujo, calm down, bruh,” Cooper says.
“More info, Alice,” Owen says. “Give us a little more.”
“What do you mean by he lied?” Miles says.
“Did he hurt you? Did he do something—” Levi’s face is turning red. Oh, Uncle Levi.
My pulse races. I can’t have Levi thinking Will hurt me or that he’s horribly immoral. Will’s attempt to protect himself shouldn’t be seen as something corrupt. “He’s been keeping a secret.” I swallow. “About something big.”
“What secret?” Levi says, his teeth fully gritted. But he’s waiting, he’s listening.
For my answer… which is going to be what? Shoot, I was so busy being brave and hitting that call button that I forgot to find my substitute.
“So, the two of you are having problems?” Miles asks.
My eyes prick with tears. Are we? My feelings haven’t changed. Neither have his. But I’m not sure I can do what he needs me to do.
How can I not be with Will? But how can I live life this way?
“How long is the drive to Tesoro?” Levi says after staring into the phone. “I’m gonna murder him.”
Cooper throws his hands into the air. “Geez, Levi. Give the girl an entire minute to explain.”
“He has a… mole !” I blurt.
“A mole?” Cooper’s nose wrinkles.
“A big mole!”
“I’m confused?” Miles says. “A mole is a problem?”
And then my non-lying lips keep talking. “In the shape of Texas!” I yell.
“Texas?” Uncle Miles says.
“Yes. And he won’t get it removed, but he won’t tell anyone about it either.”
“Sounds like a weirdo to me,” Levi says.
“He’s not a weirdo. He’s just ashamed?—”
“Of his mole,” Owen says.
“Of his mole,” I repeat.
“Everyone has moles,” Owen says. “He needs to get over it.”
“He does. I told him to tell everyone?—”
“Everyone?” Miles says.
“Stop repeating her!” Levi growls. “You said to let her talk, well, let her talk.”
“Okay, who do you want him to tell, Alice?”
I swallow. “Well, I’d like him to tell the world.”
“About his Texas-shaped mole.” Miles scratches his head while my other uncles sit quietly.
“Sweetie, if he isn’t comfortable sharing that, he shouldn’t have to.” Owen sits on a bench, wiping his forehead with a towel.
“So, he should keep lying?” I press a hand to my head—it’s started to ache with all the storytelling. “He tells people he doesn’t have a mole—at all. And they all believe him.”
“Why did he tell you?” Levi asks. I’m guessing he’s turned over the open sign of the shop now that he’s back in his office.
“He didn’t. I found out. I saw it.”
“I’m sure others will see it too,” Owen says.
“They won’t! He’s good at hiding it. It’s covered, it’s—it’s on his butt!”
“The man has Texas on his butt?” Cooper chuckles.
But Levi’s face has gone red. “His. Butt.”
My mouth goes dry, and I swallow. “It’s on his hip. His backish, hippish, buttish area. His lower back, his hip-type area.” I’m not exactly sure what I’m describing. I’m attempting not to talk about Will’s butt with my uncles anymore. “We went swimming.” Lie. “And I saw it.” Lie.
This might not be helping.
“Alice, honey. I’m not completely sure of the problem,” Uncle Miles says. He’s studying the phone screen—he’s listening. He’s trying. They all are.
“Will has a mole. In the shape of Texas. He’s ashamed. And he lies about it.”
“She shouldn’t be dating someone so prejudiced,” Levi says.
“He’s not prejudiced!” I yell. “He’s self-conscious. He doesn’t want to be judged?—”
“For his mole.”
“Yes.” I swallow.
“Okay,” Owen says. “Well, it’s his mole, Alice. The man has a right to keep it quiet.”
“Yes, but that’s the problem. Now I know.”
“Oh,” Cooper says. “That is a problem.”
“Can’t you just avoid talking about moles at work?” Owen says. Gosh, he’s trying so hard to help me out of this. I appreciate it.
“But it comes up. A lot.”
“What kind of people are you working with?” Levi says.
“And we all know I struggle keeping quiet, that if the topic is in play, I’m going to be honest.”
They’re quiet. Maybe my mole analogy wasn’t the best. Maybe I should have picked something else.
“Do you think it’s okay for me to lie about Will’s mole? Or do you think I’ll out him? Because if I’m going to out him, I should probably just come home. It would change the way others looked at him.” I sniff. I don’t want to come home. “He doesn’t want that. I can’t do that to him.”
“Come home,” Levi says.
“Shut up, Levi,” Cooper barks.
“Alice,” Miles says. “You’ve always been forthright, but you must know it’s okay to not talk about everything. Just don’t talk about this. Delaney doesn’t want the world to know everything about our private lives. There are things we just don’t talk about with others. It’s okay to protect those you care about.”
That makes sense. I nibble on my lip, thinking, wondering if I can do this. “And if it comes up?”
Cooper’s brows lift. “If Texas-shaped moles on people’s butts come up—maybe you keep your friend’s secret. Maybe you don’t tell the world the truth this one time.”