Chapter 5
Alice
The sun is just starting to rise over the tall wall around the clubhouse as I wait for Nico to arrive, pale gold, the color of hope. A good omen for this mission, I think.
My saddlebags are packed and I’ve successfully managed to avoid talking about my reasons for going with my brothers and sisters, for the most part. But I’m not out of the woods on that yet.
I just heard the door of the clubhouse open and deliberately faced away from it, hoping it’s just someone opening it to let some fresh air into the bar. But I also hear footsteps, many of them.
“We just wanted to wish you good luck, Alice,” Rogue says with a smile in his voice.
I turn and all the founding members of the MC are there, some still in their morning robes.
Rogue, Blade and Bella, Creed and Trinity, Rock and Minx.
Even Judge and Skye. Apart from the last two, everyone else is also people I grew up with, went to school with, made a home with from the moment I left home at eighteen. But I still can’t handle their pity.
Trinity and Rock are dressed for the road. “Are you sure you don’t want us to come?” Rock asks. “We’re ready.”
“It’s fine,” I say and smile at them to lessen the blow. We’ve been over this before. “I don’t need a lot of backup for this. And it’s something I’d rather do on my own.”
I realized that when Nico offered to come with me, and I saw how easy it was to trust him with my vulnerability. It won’t be so easy with anyone else.
I haven’t had the chance to speak to Zane since I asked him to help me and he blew up at me. I keep glancing back at the clubhouse, hoping he’ll maybe appear too, but he’s nowhere.
“Tell Zane that too, when you see him,” I tell the other. “No hard feelings.”
Rogue and a few of the others nod.
And then any further talking is thankfully interrupted by the gate opening, followed by a sleek Range Rover with black tinted windows rolling through. Nico is grinning at me through the front window as he pulls up next to us.
“Ready to go deal out some justice?” he asks as he climbs out of the car.
He’s dressed in a pale purple polo shirt and a pair of chinos, generally looking like he just stepped out of a high-end fashion ad and not at all like he’s about to go hunt down a child-molesting priest. Trinity and Rock roll their eyes, they’re not even trying to hide it.
“Yeah, I’m ready,” I say and sling the saddle bags over the back of my bike and begin attaching them.
“I thought we could just take the car,” he says, pointing back at it with his thumb. “More practical than a bike.”
“Absolutely not, I’m riding there,” I tell him in my no-nonsense Sarge voice.
Truth is, the long ride to the church just outside of San Diego where Gael now preaches is the only part of this trip that I’m actually genuinely looking forward to.
Nico’s grin falls a little. “I can at least take your bags.”
He strides over and takes my saddle bags from me.
I see no point arguing with him over that, especially after his hand brushes mine and a high-power jolt, not unlike an electrical one, passes up my arm and into my chest. Another good reason for us to be riding separately.
Because with reactions to his touch like these…
who knows where they’d lead? Probably nowhere I want to be, that’s for sure.
Rogue steps forward, giving Nico a once over with a hard gaze. “I trust you’ll have her back. No matter what happens.”
Nico nods solemnly and glances at me. “Always.”
I feel that word deep in my chest too, just like I feel his eyes and his touch. But none of that will ever lead to anything, so I really could do without.
“I’m ready, let’s go,” I say, again using my best Sarge voice. The rest react to it immediately, taking a step back, giving me room to climb on my bike. Nico is just grinning at me stupidly.
“We’re heading south,” I tell him. “You can follow me, but you know the address in case we get separated.”
He grins even wider. “Oh, don’t worry, I’m not letting you out of my sight.”
And he means that in more ways than one. I can plainly feel that in my chest—no, my whole body is actually tingling with something a lot like the aftereffects of an electric shock.
I clear my throat. “Let’s hit the road them.”
He nods, takes my bags to the car, tosses them in the back seat and gets behind the wheel.
“Are you sure you want him along?” Rogue asks quietly, looking sideways at Nico.
“Yeah, why him and not one of us?” Rock adds harshly, sounding offended.
“Because you have a much more important job to do here,” I say, using my Sarge voice—hiding behind it, actually. “This is my own personal mission and we don’t do personal missions when other victims need us more.”
I wish I had a better answer for him, I wish I could lay down my Sarge armor in front of them, and just be vulnerable sometimes.
I actually do want all my brothers and sisters with me for this, deep down I do.
Or Bianca does. But Alice the Sarge needs to keep everyone in line.
And that means being tough all the time.
“If you’re sure,” Rock mutters and I look at Nico one more time before climbing on my bike.
“I’m sure,” I say.
But I’m actually not and I hate lying to my brothers and sisters. And I’d like to keep lying to myself, but I can’t.
Taking Nico with me on this mission might be a mistake.
He wants things I can’t give him and that in itself might turn into another nightmare I have to survive.
Maybe I’ll just lose him on the highway. Or tell him to turn back the first time we stop.
Because the terrible truth is, I can handle Gael on my own… better than I can handle the advances of a man. And that’s not something that will ever change, because it hasn’t yet.