Chapter 35
Alice
LA—home—was still a few miles away, but who knows what will happen when we reach it?
There will probably be a lot of questions.
A lot of explaining to do. A lot of thinking and pondering and pity in the eyes of my friends—my MC brothers and sisters-as I tell them the story of Gael and what happened to him.
Dawn was breaking. I turned a bend in the road and there it was, the expanse of the calm ocean colored a pale gold by the rising sun and I thought why wait? Why not celebrate my rebirth here and now, with the only man I’ve ever wanted to be with? With the man who made that rebirth possible.
I don’t think I could’ve faced Gael on my own.
I don’t think I could’ve beaten him on my own.
But together we did it.
There was doubt and fear in Nico’s eyes as he joined me on top of the cliff. But it was washed away by the brightest smile he’d ever given me as I told him why we had stopped.
Now we’re standing on the beach, the sand still a little cool from the night’s chill and he’s not smiling anymore. But the look he’s giving me is still brighter than the rising sun.
“You sure?” he asks in a hoarse whisper.
“I’ve never been surer of anything in my life.”
The world turns just a little brighter as I smile at him. Then I unzip my jacket and slip it off, letting it drop to the sand.
Seems like that’s all the invitation he needs. He steps forward, urgency in his movement, but his touch as he wraps his arms around me is gentle.
The kiss he gives me is at once passionate and slow, meant to last. And it does, for years it feels like. The whole world is awash in golden brightness as his lips leave mine. He gazes deep into my eyes as he pulls up my T-shirt. I smile again as I shrug out of it.
My jeans and boots follow, and that intense look in his eyes as he undresses me warms me better than the sun ever could. Not just skin deep. It’s warming up my very core, which has been frozen solid for so long I didn’t even know it could be any other way.
But I know now, as I stand before him naked, the pale, bright light of the sun no match for the appreciation and passion in his eyes.
“Let’s get you out of these clothes too,” I say, tugging on the hem of his shirt.
He grins and undresses faster than I’ve ever seen anyone lose their clothes. And now we’re both standing in the first morning light, naked, and I hope my gaze as it travels down his perfect body, across all the rolling hills and valleys of his muscles, warms him just as perfectly as his warms me.
His cock is hard. For the first time in my life, the sight of a naked man with an erection doesn’t fill me with fear and dread.
It fills me with desire, which seems to have been frozen along with everything else deep inside.
But it’s thawing now, filling my body, my very blood, with lust and anticipation, desire, passion even.
Passion I must act on, because there’s no saying no to it.
I take his hands and pull him close, wrap my arms around his waist as I stand on my tip toes and kiss him again. Nothing slow about this kiss, nothing gentle.
But his hands are soft as they caress my back and my neck, my sides and my hair.
The kiss deepens, the sensations of pleasant warmth and the sweet anticipation of more becoming all there is.
He picks me up and lays me down on one of the large stones on this beach. It’s still holding onto the night’s coolness, but even that is no match for the heat of his kiss, of his skin pressed against mine, of the desire he’s brought forth from deep inside me.
I gasp as he enters me, for a moment afraid the darkness of my memories will wash over me as it had each and every time I tried to do this with other men before.
But it doesn’t. There’s not even a single trace of it.
Only light, only brightness, only happiness, passion and desire as he slides his cock in and out slowly, bringing only pleasure.
He kisses me again, keeping the steady rhythm with his hips, his cock filling me just perfectly, filling the emptiness I never knew how to fill, filling it so there’s none of it left.
Emotions. So many emotions are bubbling up inside me, coming alive from the frozen wasteland that is no more.
Happiness, regret, joy, sorrow, passion, lust, desire, love.
All things I denied myself, afraid they’d wake the darkness.
His gaze as he looks into my eyes is still intense. But growing softer.
He’s close to coming.
And I don’t want to be late either.
I moan and gasp again as he picks up the pace. And then just lose myself in the pleasure he’s giving me, in the soft bliss of this act, in all the emotions and feelings it’s bringing to life.
We climax together, the orgasm hitting me like a bolt of lightning out of the clear, bright sky. Only there’s no pain here, only bliss, so complete, so all-encompassing, so absolute, I lose touch with everything that was.
And when I come back, I come back stronger. Come back whole. Come back the person I should’ve been, the one I met for the first time when he took me dancing in San Diego.
She’s here to stay now.
He’s resting against me, his breathing and heartbeat still fast from the pleasure we created together.
“Thank you,” I whisper into his ear.
He lifts his head and gazes into my eyes, the look at once intense and soft.
“For bringing me back to life,” I add.
He chuckles. “You did that all by yourself. I was just along for the ride.”
He’s wrong, but I have the rest of our lives to show him just how much. There’s no rush. None at all.
I kiss him again and make good on that fact, because we just stay there kissing, until the sun is very high in the sky and boats start appearing in the ocean.
“I’ll see you tonight at the clubhouse?” he asks as we’re sharing one last kiss by his car.
I shake my head. And I regret the disappointment it causes, which is clearly visible in his eyes.
“I won’t see you there, because you’re taking me dancing,” I add with a big smile. “Somewhere nice and loud.”
He smiles too. “Nice and loud. Got it.”
“And then we’re spending the night in one of those fancy hotels or villas you talked about.”
I don’t need that kind of pampering. That rock on the beach was just perfect for me. But I think he does.
“Absolutely! You got yourself a date.”
Then he kisses me again. In that lasting, forever kind.
Tonight is only a few short hours away once we do finally part. And that’s a very good thing. Because I don’t think I can be away from him for very long.