Chapter 11 - Bea
As soon as the words left my mouth, I’m flooded with two opposing feelings.
The first - one that I’m familiar with - is the feeling of apprehension and that God-awful sensation of a low, sickly swooping in my belly.
It makes me want to snatch what I’d said from the air and shove it back down my throat.
The other feeling was one of… anticipation? Excitement even.
And Zyntarr-
… Zyntarr seems to have stopped breathing?
“Are you ok?” I ask, gently pushing on his chest where the steady rise and fall of his breaths has halted completely… but the thump, thump, thump of his heart seems to have tripled in ferocity.
“I am… I am well, yes… I am… yes, I can…” he splutters, and there’s just something so endearing about a seven-foot, broad-shouldered, battle-scarred, one-eyed, warrior getting all flustered - over me, nonetheless.
“That is-” he pauses again, his eye dipping to my breasts and then quickly back up to my face again as he rubs at the back of his neck.
“It would be an honor and a gift to be able to touch you, Bea. If you’ll allow it. ”
Something about his demeanor bolsters my confidence - an occurrence that has been happening more and more recently whenever I’m with Zyntarr. But seeing him like this in particular, just reminds me that this is all very new for him too and, in a sense, I could be the one to lead us-
Lead you both down the wrong path, more like.
My mother’s voice echoes in my skull, and I can’t help but let my eyes fall down to Zyn’s bare chest again.
If only he had his heart-stars shining bright and without question.
Then I could hush mother’s voice for good.
Even she wouldn’t be able to argue with heart-stars and mates that are fated to be together.
“But if you are not sure…”
I’d hesitated too long. Zyntarr now looks to me with uncertainty in that sky-blue eye of his.
“No, I mean yes, I-…”
Courage, Bea. A little bit of touching isn’t going to hurt. It might even bring on those brighter stars I so desperately want to see.
I take a breath, and reach for Zyntarr’s hand before securely fitting it over my left breast.
Zyntarr stops breathing again, his good eye going wide as he looks down at what he’s holding.
My boob.
It takes maybe a minute of him frozen and staring while his mouth softly opens and closes like he’s got something to say but he can’t figure out in what order the words need to come out.
Which is… oddly adorable.
I never thought I would feel that about letting a guy get to second base.
And, for once, the thrill of it all is too loud in my mind, drowning out any voice of doubt.
Emboldened, I giggle - an act that makes my chest move a little in his grasp.
Instinctively, he squeezes. It’s only a little - barely even noticeable.
But his hand is so big and warm, and his skin is this delicious sort of rough texture that even the smallest of squeezes has desire for more swirling low in my belly.
“You can touch the other one if you like,” I tell him, giggling again when he is quick to take me up on my offer.
“Bea,” he rasps, my name no more than a strangled sort of moan.
“Do you… like them?” I ask, pushing myself into his warm hands.
The huge, scary-looking warrior nods quickly, swallowing thickly as he starts to gently test the give and weight of my very average chest.
“They are magnificent,” he tells me reverently, and I try to fight the urge to laugh again.
Nothing about me has ever been called ‘magnificent’ in all my life.
The word seems too big, too grand, too… worshipful.
That’s not really me. I’m a ho-hum, plain-Jane kind of girl.
Not this. It’s all enough to make my cheeks blush even harder.
I recall back to fumbling around when I lost my virginity and got pregnant. He hadn’t seen boobs before either, but he didn’t make me feel like this. Like I’m something worth worshiping.
Covering his hands with my, much smaller ones, I press him more firmly against my flesh, wondering if he can feel how my nipples are starting to pebble against his palms. It wasn’t like this before.
It wasn’t slow and exploratory, it was quick and unmeasured.
I move my hands down his wrists and up his forearms, feeling the map of ridges and bumps from his patchwork of scars.
He has more on one side of his body - the side with his covered eye.
There are less skin-stars on that side, too.
The ones that I can see, tend to bump around the scars like they’re physical obstacles, or disappear altogether once they touch the damaged skin like they’d fallen into black holes.
I continue to smooth my palms up and down his huge arms as Zyntarr starts to gently knead my breasts - his attention sending little lightning bolts straight between my legs.
He’s the first of us to let out a groan, and I can’t tell if it’s from touching me, or from how I’m touching him in turn.
His wings flare, the lower flight feathers dipping into the water.
His skin-stars are dancing all over his body like excitable little lightning bugs in an array of neon colors.
Truly, he’s a beautiful sight to look at… to touch… to drink in.
The sensations are all a bit new to me - or at least, I haven’t felt this way in a very, very long time.
I haven’t allowed myself to. I almost don’t know what to do - as clueless as a Trixikka, I guess.
But call it instinct, or call it being horny-as-hell, I can’t help it when I reach for one of his hands and guide it southward down my body.
And if I thought Zyntarr had looked shocked before…
It takes a second or two for him to process what I’m guiding him to do, and where exactly that hand of his is going as it now plunges into the dark of the river. But that first brush of his fingers against my mound, that first cup of his huge hand covering my sex completely - it… it feels-
Zyntarr jerks and groans, his wings shuddering as they arch high above us, his skin-stars all racing down his chest, past his abs and into the water where they join together at his-
Oh.
There’s a spurt of something sparkly in the water before the river carries it away down stream, twinkling like glitter confetti caught in a breeze.
Is that his…?
“Did you just-”
His breathing is heavier now as he looks at me, his good eye framed with a heavy lid. “I apologize, my Bea,” he almost pants. “I… I could not help it. Gifting me with this honor… uh… excites me beyond measure.”
Zyntarr abruptly pulls his touch away from my body. “I…” His beautiful blue eye screws shut and he shakes his head while trying to get his breathing back under control.
“It’s alright.” I reach for him, feeling a desperate need for those huge hands to be on me again. I smooth my palms up his arms and over his chest again and I swear - I swear - his super-faint heart-stars are thrumming just that little bit brighter.
Maybe… maybe if we keep being intimate they might-
“I do not wish for you to regret any decisions you make with me, Bea,” Zyntarr says, his voice low and quiet.
“What? No! Zyntarr-” I can feel his tail coil further around my ankle and up my calf beneath the water.
“I-I don’t mind that you-” My cheeks flush with a deeper heat.
He came just from touching me. I know there’s jokes and stuff about men doing that prematurely back on Earth, but something about the fact that this huge, beast of man becoming completely undone for me is like receiving a shot of adrenaline - right to my private parts.
“Come here,” I manage to hastily whisper as I reach up.
I hook my hand around the back of his neck, and urge the big guy to lean down so I can crash my lips into his.
And then, we’re kissing.
Well, I’m kissing Zyntarr. He’s kind of… frozen.
It’s a little awkward just mashing my lips with someone who has turned into a living statue.
I’ve never led a kiss before, and I almost get to the point where I’m going to pull away because clearly he doesn’t want this.
But, I’m rescued by a needy groan from Zyntarr’s throat.
The sound is so loud, I try to pull away anyway with a squeak of shock.
He doesn’t miss a beat in tugging me right back, though.
He swallows down my noise of surprise, his arms encircle me, pulling me closer, pressing our naked, wet bodies together tightly.
The kiss is still somewhat awkward and fumbling - not that I ever became an expert in the activity.
But Zyntarr is brand new to it, as he tries to follow my lead.
And, I’m not sure that I’m doing a very good job.
Tentatively, I try pushing my tongue into his mouth - an act that makes Zyntarr jolt a little in my arms. He quickly overcomes this new surprise though, as he mirrors me, gently licking into my mouth as his chest starts to vibrate with a purr.
And then it’s like he’s become a giant wall of warmth and rhythmic, thrumming energy.
I feel like I’m surrounded by it - by him and his purr.
Like it’s rattling so deeply, it’s in my bones now.
For a moment, I’m not concentrating on leading the kiss, I’m so distracted by being totally enveloped by him, that Zyntarr takes over.
He did it so subtly, so deftly, that I hardly notice he’s leading us now.
His mouth, his tongue, his appreciative groans into our kiss - he’s leading all of it. And it makes me feel… safe.
How this man, who up until about a year ago had never even seen a woman or heard about kissing can just so effortlessly master the art, I’ll never know - but the one thing I do know right now, is that I want more.