Chapter 23 - Zyntarr
After Zedyn had poked and prodded me to his satisfaction, I began to feel like a frizikki carcass being prepared for the spit. Perhaps I should have let Bea stay to dress my healing skin instead.
But I cannot brush aside the image of her still searching for my heart-stars like she had this morning. Or how she had made sure to not wear my stars by refusing my seed.
As is her choice. It is her body - her precious cunt.
I cannot and will not seed it without her permission.
But I also cannot deny that a part of me wonders…
wonders if she is still waiting for heart-stars that will never come before she will accept me fully as her mate?
Surely she has seen my scars? Surely she knows they will not come?
But still, she will not choose me - not without those stars.
I have been told to rest. But I am not skilled at this task.
The shaft of light flooding in through the hole in my roof has shifted over my nest. I watch sun-dust dance and disappear, raise my arm, and swim my fingers through the light, scattering the specks.
I can hear the Protector’s training outside - the grunts and flaps of wingbeats.
The younglings are out there somewhere, too, and I wonder if Bea is finished with her talks with Rynn yet?
Has she started her day with the Carers, teaching the younglings?
Did they let her speak at this talk? Oftentimes, because of her soft, quiet nature, Bea’s words are not heard.
Maybe I should have ignored Zedyn, and gone with her.
I swing my legs over my nest and sit up, stretching one wing out, and then the other, shaking them to get the feathers to settle back down again.
I… cannot rest.
My mind is not at ease, and neither are my muscles. My healing injuries are covered now, surely I do not need to stay here this day?
Getting to my feet, I go to the entrance of my hut. I spend a beat or two just standing there, deciding what it is I should do.
I think to go to my Bea. But then I see that image of her searching for my heart-stars again. She’s never stopped looking. She’s always disappointed.
With a grunt, I start walking. I know where it is I have to go.
* * *
“You will talk to me this day,” I command, widening my stance and crossing my arms over my bound chest. “I will stay here until you do.”
I’ve been in front of the Temple for longer than I care to admit. But still, the Goddesses do not emerge.
“You are the only ones who can answer my questions - questions that crowd my mind like thunder clouds in the sky!”
“Alright, alright-” comes the new, strange voice of the Goddesses.
It sounds male again, just like the day when Bea and I were here with the younglings.
“Don’t get your feathers in a twist - whoa.
” The flying, round speaking-stone bobs out of the small cave in the side of the Temple.
It drifts up to my face and stays there.
“So that’s what your eye looks like, huh?
What in the ever-loving-stars happened to it? ”
I furrow my brow. “You are a Goddess. You know what has happened to-”
“Ah, yes, yes, yes that’s right,” the Goddess says before flying off, spinning and looping in the air. When it comes back, it says, “looks good on you, my friend. I’ll wager that the females go wild for it.”
This Goddess that speaks to us now is so odd - like a nest woven with someone else’s feathers.
“I am not interested in females. I have mine. I wish to speak to you about her.”
The speaking-stone hovers up and down in the air. “Then speak. I’ll… try to help if I can..”
“Is Bea meant for me as my mate?”
There is a sharp sound, like someone choking on water. “She… I don’t know,” the Goddess coughs. “That’s a pretty heavy question right there.”
Heavy? Yes, my words do weigh heavy on my tongue.
“I-…” the speaking-stone drifts like a lazy moonfly, swaying side-to-side. “I don’t know. If I say yes, you’re not going to drag the poor female off to your cave and force yourself on her are you?”
Force myself upon my Bea?! My wings flare at the thought, my tail whipping one way and then the other. For the first time in my life, I dare to growl at a Goddess. How could they suggest such a thing?!
“Alright, big guy, easy. I’m just checking. You can stand down.”
I cease my growl and settle my tail, but my jaw remains tight and my stance uneasy.
The Goddess sighs. I have never heard a Goddess sigh before in all of my days.
“Look… uh… Zanteer? Does this female like you? Would she choose to be with you? Because in my experience some males completely misinterpret the language of females, you know? And if you’re not picking up on her hints that she just doesn’t see you that way, then you become the problem. ”
“I-…” my shoulders sag, my wings drooping along with them. “I do not know if she would truly choose me. She… does not like making choices.”
“Who does?” the Goddess chuckles. “Look, although I have a lot of experience in encounters with females, I’m not the best when it comes to this whole ‘mate’ thing you guys have going on down here, so… I guess the best thing to do is give her some space?”
My throat feels suddenly tight. “Space?”
“Yeah. Back off a bit. If she’s meant to be your female, then there will be signs. You can’t force these kinds of things, my friend.”
My arms fall away to my sides. Signs? What signs? From the Goddesses? Or from Bea?
“If you will not give me my heart-stars, is that not the biggest sign of all from the Goddesses?”
There is a moment or two of silence before I hear muttering. “Shit… I knew I should’ve ready that fucking manual-” before the words from the speaking-stone become clearer. “Uh… yeah, sure. Um… the Goddesses only want what is best for you and the female.”
I rub the heel of my hand into my bound chest. It hurts there. Though, I do not think the pain has anything to do with my injuries.