CHAPTER 12
ZAREK
Earth archivists are expected to learn the languages associated with their assigned location. I have assigned myself to the curves of Ellie’s body.
Warmth presses against my body, the feeling comforting and heavy. I open my eyes, and Ellie’s arm is across my chest, her face nuzzling into me.
I could lie like this forever, basking in the scent of her skin, smelling faintly of eucalyptus leaves.
I think she showered last night after I fell asleep, but I’m choosing not to be offended by it. For someone who digs bones out of the dirt, Ellie is very clean. She always smells fresh, her skin clear and bright.
Sitting up, I stare at her sleeping form. Ellie’s hair is big and curly, reminding me of a lion’s mane, and I ache to comb my fingers through it. I can’t help but wonder if she likes having her hair played with, or her shoulders massaged, just as I do. I wish to get to know all her quirks.
I want to learn the language of her body, but with more care than any of the languages I’ve learned before.
As quiet as I can, I wiggle out from under Ellie’s arm, trying not to wake her as I head toward the shower.
This hotel’s bathroom is nice, much nicer than the one inside our train car, and I appreciate the larger space.
Stripping off my clothes, I turn on the water and hop in as soon as it’s warm enough.
My mind is much like the train routes we’ve been taking. I intend to keep my mind focused on a specific destination, but it goes a different way entirely. Sometimes the lines are closed, other times there is something in the way.
This time it’s Ellie.
I should be thinking of the edelweiss, and how I plan to share my findings with the Terilian government. Or perhaps my time would be better suited coming up with ways to contact Ellie when all of this is over, but that’s not where it goes.
No, my mind is on a singular track leading straight to her. Ellie’s laugh. The way her fingers move in tandem when she braids her hair. The serious face she makes when she’s thinking, her brows furrowed and lips forming a thin line.
And the way those same lips feel pressed next to mine, and how my fingers ache to grip her hips once more.
As my hand pumps my cock, as Ellie called it, I think of every detail I can recall.
I wrap a towel around my waist and head back into the main section of our hotel room, my head still spinning.
I just want you, Ellie had said. Those words from her lips have repeated in my mind more times than our voices echoed in the caves yesterday, just an endless loop of emotion.
She wants me, but how? What are the expectations? I want to meet all of them. I wish to exceed them, if possible. But I can’t if I don’t know what we are.
Is this a courtship, or is this something…different, something I don’t understand.
Ellie looks up from where she sits on the bed. Our eyes lock, and I say the first thing I can think of. “What do you want…from me?”
Ellie furrows her brows. “I want you to put on your disguise so we can go to breakfast. Aren’t you starving?”
I shake my head. “No. I mean, yes, but that’s not the point right now. What…are we? Is this a courtship?”
“Zarek,” Ellie sighs, her shoulders noticeably stiffening. “We’re friends.”
My forehead wrinkles, contact-free eyes widening. “Do friends usually participate in what we did last night?”
She looks away. “On Earth? Yeah, actually. Well. Sometimes. There’s a whole term—friends with benefits. Lots of people hook up with their friends and it doesn’t have to mean anything serious.”
I can’t explain what’s happening in my brain and body right now. Logically, I know there’s nothing wrong with me, but my heart feels like it’s going to crack. “Oh, okay. I wasn’t sure if it meant something to you.”
Ellie stands up, crossing toward me in a move that is both confident and unexpected.
“It meant that I find you attractive, and that I might even want to do it again sometime,” she says, brushing her fingers up the blue skin of my forearm, before shifting back again. “Why? Did it mean something to you?”
I shake my head, trying to play it cool. “No. I mean…it,” I manage to fumble my words. “I enjoy your presence and your body, that’s all.”
I fear I’m saying the wrong thing, but her mouth forms a small smile.
“Great. Then we’re on the same page.”
“Excellent,” I manage to muster as the serotonin and dopamine in my body instantly drops.
Inside the quiet hotel room, I get dressed, pack my things, and put in my contacts before activating my BLEND while Ellie cleans up. We don’t say another word to one another as we exit the room and head toward the lobby to turn in our key cards.
Part of me is hurt by this. I mean, I really like Ellie.
Not just in a platonic way, but something deeper.
I’m not sure where I thought things could go.
Logistically, I’m a sapphiro, and she is a human.
We’re from different planets and cultures, and it would be nearly impossible to be together long-term.
But I’m not sure what’s festering inside me is something that listens to logic. This feels very human of me, but I’m not sure I even care about logic when it comes to her.
There’s another part of me, one that might be optimistic, or is simply incredibly good at pattern recognition, that doesn’t believe her.
Ellie’s expression was off. Actually, everything has been off. Her smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes, and she stares at me with an expression that lands somewhere between lust and longing. I want to ask why she’s behaving strangely, but I know romantic encounters are a fickle thing here on Earth.
Everything seems more complicated.
If I call her out over just wanting to be friends and I’m wrong, that’s depressing and embarrassing. And even if I’m right, she might not be ready to share those feelings with me yet.
So I’m going to respect whatever is happening in that beautiful head of hers, and let her be open with me in her own time. Or I’m going to get my heart torn to shreds.
Current status: unknown.
There’s a café a few blocks down from the hotel, and we traverse the cobblestone road as we follow Ellie’s GPS toward the small restaurant.
“Did Jo ever reply to our photo?” I ask, breaking the uncomfortable silence.
“Oh! Yeah, here,” Ellie answers, and clicks onto her texting app.
Jo
Well aren’t you two precious.
Ellie
Thanks! I still hate taking photos :)
Jo
Yeah, but he’s an alien, so this is more like…documentation.
Ellie
I wish he was in his sapphiro form. I actually kind of prefer when he’s blue.
Jo
You and me both. Hey! Fuck the alien for me, would ya?
Ellie
I’ll block you.
I wonder if, underneath the BLEND’s disguise, Ellie can see the flush forming on my cheeks. I sure hope not.
The newly risen sun is high in the sky, the light dappling onto the colorful plastic chairs on the cafe terrace as we make our way toward the front door.
We head into the building and straight to the line to order. There’s a large glass display case full of pastries. I point to a croissant, and Ellie nods in understanding.
“Qu’est-ce que vous prenez aimeriez?” the woman at the cash register asks.
“Un de ceux-ci, et deux de ceux-ci,” Ellie says, pointing to different pastries. “Oh, et un de chacun de ceux-ci.”
“What are you doing?” I ask, unsure of why she’s pointing to so many different things.
“Un instant. Désolé,” she tells the woman, her tone apologetic, but clipped. “I’m ordering for us.”
My eyebrows draw in at the center. “Are you ordering for us or for a tiny nation?!”
“What are we, the Vatican?”
“I’m assuming that would be funny if I understood what you were referring to,” I say with a smirk, and she elbows me in the ribs.
“Shut up, Derek.”
The woman nods in understanding. “Autre chose?”
“Deux cafés, s’il vous pla?t. Merci,” Ellie replies.
Ellie finishes paying for the small village she plans to feed, and we take our seats. When a server brings us our tray, I almost think she’s come to the wrong table.
“Et voilà,” the small, mousey woman says.
“Merci,” I say, and Ellie shoots me a look. She takes a sip of her coffee and lets out a faint sigh.
“Why?” I ask, gesturing to the absurd amount on our table, but one corner of Ellie’s mouth curves up.
“Because I know you’ll eat it,” she says, taking a bite of a palmier. Her voice drops to a whisper. “Stop acting like a human who can survive off of coffee, a protein bar, and a smoothie, and eat like you normally would.”
“I’m trying to save you money!” I insist.
Ellie squints at me. “Save me from the hospital bill I’ll receive after you collapse in a public place. It’ll arrive shortly after the French government detains you for being a fucking alien,” she whisper-shouts.
“Fine.” I take a single bite of a croissant, followed by another.
Soon enough, I’ve eaten half of what was placed on our tray.
A tiny child walks in holding his father by the finger, and we watch as they take their seats. A mischievous grin planted on his little face, the toddler sits, legs swinging, as he attempts to stack some colorful pastries.
“Do you like children?” I ask as I watch the boy carefully finish his tower.
“They’re fine. Cute from a distance,” Ellie says, and smiles as she sees what I’m looking at. “I think I’d make a really great aunt one day.”
At that, I grin. “I bet you would. Do your siblings not have children yet?”
“No. I am an only child.”
“Me as well,” I reply.
“But my mom is amazing! She is a public school teacher, actually, but she’s all I have,” Ellie says, turning to stare out the window.
I’m hesitant to ask more, but I yearn to know everything she’ll share about her life. “Is your dad…dead?”
“To me, yeah. Dead in spirit, y’know?”
I shake my head as I take a sip of my coffee. “I actually do not know. I mean, I had classmates growing up who lost parents to disease or sickness, but not many whose parents did not care for them in any capacity.”
“Everyone’s parents on Terilia are just loving and supportive and amazing and always there for them?” Ellie asks, and I can’t tell if she’s jealous or intrigued.