Chapter 20
“Has anyone seen a cupboard to another dimension so I can avoid this conversation?” ~ Maya
Maya
I nibble on my lip as I contemplate how to answer. I believe Caleb when he says he won’t think less of me. But he doesn’t know what I’m going to say. He doesn’t know how unlovable I am.
“Please, tell me, Bunny.” He massages my neck. “I can’t help you through it if I don’t know what ‘it’ is.”
“Promise me you won’t think less of me.”
He crosses his heart. “I promise.”
“I ran into my parents at the grocery store.” I pause. I don’t know how to explain what happened. When I replay the incident in my mind, it doesn’t sound bad. Except it was.
“What bullshit did your mom spout this time?”
“Bullshit? How do you know what she said was bullshit? How do you know it’s not true?”
He leans close and holds my gaze. “Because I know you. ”
“You don’t know me as well as you think you do. You don’t know how it was for me growing up. You don’t know how they treated me.”
I kept my home life separated from school. I never told anyone what happened. Sophia only found out because her brother is a cop.
Caleb leans his forehead against mine. “Please tell me what it was like for you growing up.”
I know how my parents treated me wasn’t my fault. I took enough psychology classes in college to figure that much out. But it’s hard not to believe what they say. It’s hard to feel lovable when your own flesh and blood are nasty and mean to you.
“My dad’s an asshole.”
Caleb’s eyes flash with anger and I nearly flinch before I remember. This is Caleb. He would never physically harm me.
“What did he do?”
“He belittled me every chance he got. He made fun of me. I don’t think he ever hugged me or told me he loved me growing up.”
Caleb places his free hand on my thigh and squeezes. “What aren’t you telling me?”
A lot.
“You can’t repeat anything I say. This room is a cone of mermaid silence.”
“I would never betray your confidence, Bunny.” He kisses my nose. “You’re mine to protect.”
Those words fill me with warmth. His to protect? I can protect myself, but knowing I’m not alone is everything .
But will he feel the same way when he knows everything? I refuse to witness the disgust in his eyes when I reveal my secrets. I slam my eyes closed.
“Dad hit Mom,” I rush out.
“Open your eyes, Bunny. Let me look into those gorgeous brown eyes of yours. They remind me of the finest whiskey Buccaneer’s Whiskey and Distillery produces.”
I never thought my eyes were pretty before. Brown isn’t exactly exciting. Especially not considering I have my dad’s eyes.
He brushes a finger over my cheek and I force my eyes open.
“Did your dad ever hit you?”
I shake my head. “No. Not after…”
“Not after what?” A muscle ticks in his jaw but his voice is devoid of anger.
“I promised I’d never tell.”
“It’s honorable to want to keep your promises, but keeping this secret is hurting you. And I refuse to let anything hurt you anymore.”
Those words mean the world to me. This is why I love this man. He doesn’t want me to hurt anymore. How could I not love him?
“I called the police on my dad. He broke Mom’s arm when he pushed her down and stomped on her arm. She lied and said she fell when she went to the emergency room. I thought…” I trail off with a shake of my head.
“What did you think? ”
“I was so na?ve. I thought if I called the police, Mom would leave Dad and we could start over. Mom was scared of Dad. She still is. I recognize the fear in her eyes. But she wouldn’t leave him. I’m the traitor for telling the police what happened. I’m the one who was kicked out of the family for daring to tell the truth. I’m the bad guy.”
Caleb brushes a tear from my cheek. I didn’t even realize I was crying. You’d think I’d cried enough tears for my family over the years. Apparently not.
“You are not na?ve. You’re brave. You’re the bravest person I know.”
I roll my eyes. “You faced down armed enemies. I’m not the brave one here.”
“Those enemies were faceless. They meant nothing to me. It’s much harder to confront a person you love. To call them out on their behavior. To call the police on a parent. Damn, Bunny. You are strong.”
Goosebumps erupt all over my body. I study his eyes for any signs of deception but those blue eyes, I hope my children inherit one day, are full of honesty. “You mean it.”
“Hell yeah, I mean it. You impress the hell out of me.”
“But I lost my family because of what I did.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“Mom and Dad refuse to have anything to do with me. They waited to kick me out until I was eighteen because they knew I’d tell the police if they kicked me out any earlier.”
He squeezes my neck. “That egg and sperm donor are not your family. I’m your family. My family is your family. Your friends are your family. You, Maya Jenkins, are not alone in the world.”
I want Caleb to be my family forever. I want to give him dozens of children. Maybe not an actual dozen but at least two. Maybe three. Probably four.
“I understand why you didn’t tell me back in high school but I wish you had.”
I duck my chin. “I was afraid. Dad promised he would never hit me after I told him I’d go to the police if he did. But it didn’t stop him from hitting my mom or being an asshole to me. Whoever said sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me was a lying idiot.”
“I hate this,” Caleb grumbles. “I hate how you were suffering at home during high school and I never knew. I hate how I didn’t protect you.”
“I protected myself. I stayed away from home as much as possible. Why do you think I spent all my free time in the library?”
“Not all of your free time. You used to pal around with Sophia, Chloe, Nova, and Paisley. The five of you were a menace.”
“My friends are the best.” She glances around the library. “But this is my favorite place.”
“We had a lot of good times here.”
I giggle. “Because your math skills didn’t improve no matter how much tutoring I gave you.”
Guilt flashes in his eyes before he glances away. I gasp.
“Were you lying to me? ”
He shrugs. “I may have exaggerated how bad my math skills were to get you to tutor me.”
He did? Caleb Emerson – the cutest boy in high school – wanted to spend time with me?
“You could have just asked me out.”
“You never went on dates. You told any boy who approached you no before they could open their mouth.”
I slap his shoulder. “Because I was waiting for you to ask me, silly boy.”
His hand massaging my neck freezes. “You were?”
“Duh. Why do you think I let you kiss me?”
“Because you were my friend and worried about me enlisting in the Army.”
“I was worried about you enlisting. I worry about you all the time when you’re away.” It takes effort but I keep my gaze on his face and don’t drop it to look at his injured leg. “But I wouldn’t let just any boy kiss me.”
His blue eyes warm. “I’m glad you let me kiss you.”
I bat my eyelashes at him. “Maybe I’d let you kiss me now.”
“Here? In the library? Where we could get caught?”
I bite my bottom lip. “Are you afraid, soldier boy?”
“I’m not a boy,” he growls before his lips meld to mine.
I open for him and his tongue thrusts into my mouth. I cling to his shoulders as his mouth explores mine. He uses his hand on my neck to tilt my head and dives in deeper.
He lifts me up and places me on his lap. I straddle him and I can feel his hard length against my core. This is better than any kiss I’ve had in the library before. What am I saying? Every kiss with Caleb is better than the previous one.
Caleb’s phone vibrates in his pocket and I jump at the unexpected intrusion. He ends the kiss and leans his forehead against mine as we catch our breath.
“I need to answer the phone. It could be one of your friends. They’re worried about you. But make no mistake about it, we will be finishing this when we get back home.”
“You won’t hear me complaining.”
He taps my ass and I get the hint and stand. I grab the book I was pretending to read. How To Knit a Mermaid. No wonder Caleb didn’t believe I was reading.
“There,” he says as he tucks his phone back in his pocket. “Your friends know you’re safe.” He holds out his hand to me. “Ready to get out of here?”
“Should I make sure the coast is clear first?”
He chuckles. “We haven’t done anything wrong. We don’t need to flee.”
We definitely would have done something wrong if his phone hadn’t beeped since nudity is not allowed in the library. There’s a sign stating as much as you enter. I blame Chloe. She had a thing for streaking in public places for a while during high school.
“I’m not fleeing. I want to check there’s not a big crowd at the entrance.”
He squeezes my hand. “It’s okay. With you by my side, the crowd won’t bother me.”
“I guess you better keep me by your side forever then. ”
“Sounds like a plan.”
I was teasing but he appears serious. My breath catches in my throat. Is Caleb as serious about me as I am about him? Are all my dreams coming true?