CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR #4
I dipped my head, kissing her lips as I tore open the condom, my heart hammering in my chest so loud I could barely think. My hands shook as I rolled it on, like it was my first time too.
I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into me. My hands moved with purpose, memorizing every curve, every detail I never wanted to forget.
Every place our skin touched felt electrified, alive. Like she was charging every cell in my body.
Heat filled the space between us as I kissed her again, unable to stop, unable to do anything but breathe her in. She was my oxygen. The only thing I needed.
“I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long…”—I kissed her lips—“touch you…”—my hands slid down, gripping her hips, anchoring her to me—“feel you.”
I pushed inside her. Not much, not even halfway, not what I needed.
Her body tensed beneath me, a little whimper slipping from her lips. Her eyes squeezed shut, her fingers digging into my shoulder like she didn’t know whether to shove me away or hold on tighter.
And I saw it.
Pain.
A crease formed between her brows, followed by two silent tears sliding down her cheeks.
I froze, staying still inside her.
“Sarah, open your eyes.”
She did, and when she met my gaze, she was still tense, still unsure if this was okay.
I lowered my head, kissing the tears from her cheeks, tasting the salt on her skin.
“It’s okay,” I whispered. “I’m right here.”
She took short, shaky breaths. The tension in her face started to fade, breath by breath. And I felt the pressure in my chest begin to lift too.
“This is our roof now. You’re safe here.”
My fingers stroked gently over her skin, my lips finding hers, kissing her, so she knew I was there. Not just inside her, but with her.
Her breath steadied. She shifted, parting her legs a little wider for me. Trusting me. Giving me everything.
Maybe it was ’cause it was her first time. Or maybe just ’cause it was her. But she was the tightest thing I’d ever felt. Just being inside her, barely moving, was already killing me.
My whole body was buzzing. Heart racing, nerves on fire, lungs barely working.
She was everything. Too much. Way more than I fucking deserved.
“My island,” I said. “I’m gonna move now. Just keep looking at your ocean and tell me if anything hurts.”
Her lips curved into a sweet smile. She remembered that night. The beers. When she told me she was my island, and I was her ocean.
“Okay,” she said softly.
I pulled out, then slid back inside her, moving slowly, letting her adjust, letting her feel everything. She wrapped her arms around my neck, holding onto me.
I rolled my hips, angling until I found that perfect spot inside her. Her body shuddered, and a breathy cry escaped her lips.
“James… that’s… so… good…”
A second moan followed, louder this time.
She shifted her hips to the side, and I sank deeper—
“Shit!” I stopped moving, trying to keep it together. That one move almost finished me off.
She touched my face, her eyes searching mine, full of concern. “Oh my God, did I break it?”
I shook my head, taking a deep breath, trying to keep my shit together. “No, baby. That was insane… in a good way.”
Her smile came back. “Wanna feel it again?”
“Only if you’re trying to kill me.”
She laughed under her breath. “Told you my vagina was gonna kill you in the process.”
I laughed too, leaning my forehead against hers.
“Was that a ballet move, or what?”
“The book said to move my hip like that.”
I eyed her. “I really need to see the books you’re reading.”
“You wish.”
I started kissing her again, from her neck to her chest, never letting up, never giving her a chance to catch her breath.
Bit by bit, we found our rhythm.
“This is good?” I asked.
“Yeah… it’s… perfect.”
“You’re perfect.”
Her fingers slid through my hair as my tongue flicked over her nipple, my teeth tugging lightly.
She arched, and another moan broke free. “Oh God!”
I groaned, letting the sound vibrate against her skin as I kissed my way across her body.
I felt her hands wander over my bare chest, her fingertips tracing the scars, exploring me just like I was exploring her.
She moved to my shoulders, then down my arms, lingering on every mark, every rough patch. Her touch was light, careful, curious. It was new for her. And somehow, it felt new for me too.
I’d been with other women before, more than I should’ve. But nothing ever felt like this.
This was different.
It was her.
She was what I’d been looking for… even before I knew I needed her.
I looked down, watching myself inside her, inside Sarah Williams. I couldn’t fucking believe this was real.
She cupped my face, and our eyes met again.
“We belong together, James Hill.”
I smiled, almost out of air. I was alive again, thanks to this girl.
“This isn’t just one date, you know. I want you forever,” I said.
“Forever?”
“Forever.”
“Then you better know I love causing trouble, cowboy.”
I shook my head, laughing.
“Just promise me you’ll still be causing trouble when we’re old.”
“I promise.”
I had no idea what I was feeling. Relief? Happiness? Peace? Whatever it was, it was enough to make my shoulders sag.
I leaned in and kissed her slowly, with certainty, like I already knew forever wouldn’t be long enough.
She kissed me back, and my blood caught fire, burning through every muscle.
I kissed her hard, bit her lips, licked her tits, grabbed her perfect, round ass as I thrust into her. Again and again and again—
“Please… more.” She breathed it out, soft and needy.
I smirked against her mouth. “More?”
She nodded quickly. “Yes. Please.”
“Think you can already take all of me, baby?”
She bit her bottom lip until it turned red, her breath shaky. Her eyes—wild, green, starving—never left mine. Then she nodded again.
I pulled out slowly, making her feel every inch leave her before slamming back inside. She gasped, her head tipping back as I filled her completely.
Then her eyes found mine, and she smiled. And I smiled right back.
I crashed my mouth over hers, moving inside her faster, harder.
“James… God… this… don’t stop,” she whispered, breathless, lost in it.
She wrapped her legs around my waist and rolled her hips against mine, meeting me stroke for stroke, matching every move.
She looked like a dream.
The dream.
My dream.
And for once, it wasn’t in my head. I was fucking living it.
“You’re so damned beautiful,” I said, voice strained, my control slipping.
She clung to my shoulders, and then she shouted my name again, only this time, she said it differently.
“Outsider!”
Fucking hell.
My whole body locked up. That was the hottest thing I’d ever heard.
I stared into her green eyes. “Say that again.”
“Outsider.”
I pressed my forehead to hers, feeling her. Then I slid my hand between us, rubbing her clit, knowing exactly how to push her over the edge.
I felt it when it happened, her body winding up, breathing shallow, heartbeat racing against mine, until every part of her tightened, ready.
I watched her lips part and her eyes squeeze shut as the tension inside her finally snapped. Her pussy clenched around my cock, her nails digging into my back, her toes curled, and the sound she made would burn into me for the rest of my life.
She opened her eyes, still blissful, and a lazy smile curved her lips as she looked at me.
“I… can see… more stars… now,” she breathed.
I kissed her nose, her chin, the corner of her mouth, unable to stop touching her.
I held her gaze as I gave a few more strokes, gripping her ass, chasing my release. When it hit, I spilled into the condom with a groan rumbling from my chest.
If I’d been obsessed with her before, I sure as hell was even more now.
I buried my face in the crook of her neck. “You’re amazing, Sarah.”
I could’ve made love to this woman forever. We could’ve stayed on that roof, never left, and I wouldn’t have cared that I was afraid of heights. She wouldn’t have had to wear clothes again, and my hands wouldn’t have left her body.
I lay down beside her, and she immediately curled into me, resting her head on my chest like I was her favorite pillow. I loved that.
I propped myself up on one elbow, looking down at her. “You all right? Did I hurt you at all?”
I studied her face, searching for any sign something was off.
A pink flush spread across her face. “I’m okay. It burned a little at first, but trust me, I know pain.”
She said it with a smile, but her words hit me like a punch to the gut.
Life might’ve been simpler now, with no electricity or running water, but that didn’t make it easier.
The world we lived in was hard. Nobody made it through without scars. Some wore them on their skin. Some on their soul.
And all I wanted, all I fucking wished, was that she never had to feel pain again.
I took the condom off. There was a little blood on it. I tossed it away, but my eyes stayed on it longer than they should’ve. I hated that I’d hurt her, even a little.
She must’ve seen something shift in my face, because she cupped my cheeks in both hands and made me look at her. Those beautiful green eyes locked right onto mine.
“Hey, I’m safe,” she said softly.
She played with the strands of hair that had fallen over my forehead.
“So, did you like my picnic?” she asked.
I smiled. “Best meal of my life.”
Her skin turned pink again, and it made my whole body heat up. I bit my lip, fighting the urge to be inside her again, to make her mine all over. But she’d already had a lot tonight. She needed to rest.
“Sorry,” she said.
“For what?”
“I didn’t know you were, uh… afraid of heights.”
“Yeah, that was a fucked-up thing to do. I knew you were dangerous.”
She laughed, and I did too, because damn, I loved that sound.
I sat up, grabbing a chip and tossing it into my mouth. I needed the distraction, anything to keep my hands off her again. That’s when I spotted something in her basket. I dug through it and pulled out something that definitely wasn’t a snack.
I smirked, holding it up for her to see.
“Okay, I get that the chips were one of your dreams, but what’s this? Kindling for a bonfire?” I teased, flipping the book in my hand.
Sarah sat up fast, the moonlight kissing her skin as her braids tumbled over her beautiful bare breasts, making her look sweet and sinful all at once.
Her eyes went wide when she saw what I was holding.
“My Secret Garden copy! My favorite book!” She practically snatched it from my hands, hugging it to her stomach like I might actually set it on fire. Only Sarah would still protect a book these days.
“You know,” I said, watching her, my tone turning serious, “Outsiders are dangerous. We destroy things. We burn things.”
I said it because it was true.
It didn’t matter that we took down the gangs, that we fought the worst of them. At the end of the day, we didn’t save everyone.
And I saw it in the way people looked at me every time I walked into a new place. That worry. That fear. That belief that we weren’t heroes, just another kind of danger.
Sarah stared at me for a long beat before setting her book down on the blanket beside her. Then she leaned in and placed her hand on my chest, right over my deepest scar.
The one above my heart.
The one that would never fully heal.
And then she said something that changed everything.
“Yes, you are an Outsider. But you are my Outsider.”