Chapter Forty-Eight
Walker
Later, Walker and Alex lounged on the sofa.
Walker on his end, Alex on the other, footstool between them to share.
Walker had been mulling over what he’d said to Gabi since she stormed home from the gym.
Half of him had been kicking himself for saying too much.
The other half wondered how they always seemed to end up rowing, which he didn’t want to do.
He wondered whether he should call her and apologise.
He sighed. And became immediately aware of an answering sigh from Alex.
He muted the TV to find out what was the matter.
Because for a man whose song was now being played daily on the local radio, Alex didn’t seem that peppy.
‘You all right, mate?’ Walker asked. Alex considered that for a moment.
‘Yep, just thinking about what’s next for me.’
Walker shifted to get a better look at him.
‘How d’you mean?’
‘Well, look at you, Walks. Career going well, promotion incoming. Nice house on the river.’ He gestured about himself as he spoke and Walker saw the cosy snug of the small front room, the fireplace, the oversized sofa. ‘You’ve even got a cat.’
On cue, Fatboy Jim sauntered into the room and sprang onto the sofa, landing surprisingly lightly for the biggest ginger cat in the world.
Immediately his pneumatic purr rang out as he settled between them.
Walker put a hand tentatively on his head and scratched behind his ears.
Fatboy Jim spun onto his back and grabbed him with all four paws.
‘What, this arsehole?’ Walker joked but Alex dismissed that with a flick of his hand.
‘Look at Et – The Bistro is booming; he’s found the love of his life . . .’
Walker opened his mouth, but Alex held his hand up.
‘And Fox – winning at fatherhood, now a global games designer about to be a millionaire.
‘Then look at me,’ Alex said. ‘I live in my mate’s spare room, I play in a not-famous band and do some part-time music lessons for kids. And the woman I love hates me.’
‘You’re getting yourself together, though, Al. Let’s face it, you’ve had a tough few years.’
‘I know that. I know I used to gamble to escape things – my parents’ deaths, for example. But I haven’t played poker or even a fruit machine for more than five years now. And still I feel like I’m not getting anywhere. Maybe I should just take a chance on the unknown and move on.’
Walker watched his friend, one of the nicest, kindest men he knew. He wished he could help him.
‘What do you want, Alex?’ Walker asked. ‘If you could design your ultimate life.’
‘I want Amber, and Jayden,’ Alex said simply. ‘And that’s not on the cards. So maybe a fresh start would be the next best thing.’
‘How are things with Amber then?’
‘She should know I would never, ever do anything to hurt Jayden.’ Alex’s expression was fierce.
‘The only reason I left last time was because I didn’t want to put him in danger and it killed me.
Literally one day he told me he loved me and the next day I saw one of the Dougall family – the ones who were after me – in the town where Amber and I were working, and I panicked.
I thought I had to run. I packed up and left within an hour, leaving no trace, no link that might lead them to Amber or Jayden.
I really believed I had to disappear to keep them safe. ’
Walker blew out softly. ‘Have you ever told her that’s why you left?’
‘She’s never given me the chance. Every time I try to bring it up, she says she’s not interested.’
‘That’s tough, man.’
‘Yep.’ Alex closed his eyes. ‘Anyway. What about you? You and Gabi seem to be back on . . .’
Walker rolled his eyes, unsure where to start.
‘Think we’re off again after today,’ he said. ‘Literally, it’s the best sex of my entire life, but with the most infuriating person ever. That woman gets under my skin in a way I’ve never known. I’m drawn to her like a magnet, but it feels like there’s always something that holds us apart.’
‘Sounds like love to me,’ Alex said with a nudge. Walker snorted.
‘Gabi wouldn’t let anyone love her. She’s too determined to live alone.’
‘And that bothers you why?’ Alex said, serious all of a sudden. Walker met his gaze, found himself frowning. He examined the thought that was underneath everything. The thing that kept him coming back for more of Gabi every time.
‘Because, actually, if she could let someone in, I think we’d be perfect together.’
The words sat between them, along with Fatboy Jim who was licking himself with the dexterity of a much more athletic cat.
‘You like her,’ Alex said. ‘Thought so.’
‘Turns out I do,’ said Walker with a wry smile. ‘Not that it counts for anything. Yet again, Gabriella Tucci hates me.’
Credits started to roll on the television programme. Both men sighed.
‘Looks like you and I will have to stay married,’ Walker said, standing up.
‘For now,’ Alex agreed.
‘I’ll sort the kitchen,’ Walker said.
‘I’ll do the bins.’ Alex stuffed his feet into his trainers.
‘Thanks, darling.’
‘Any time, babe.’