Chapter 14
Bee
Every ounce of bullheaded self-assuredness went out the proverbial window the second the literal window opened. Okay, it was the door, but that wasn’t clever wordplay.
We spent ten minutes making a plan and gathering supplies. We found headlamps and a few more blankets to wrap around ourselves that would help with the wind. Owen radioed to Azi to inform everyone of our new plan. If I wasn’t careful, a sense of guilt gnawed at me.
In hindsight, should I have tried to lock myself in the tourist shop overnight and cut my hair in a fit of desperate inspiration? Probably not, but there was no changing the past and so here we were.
Still, I wished Owen wasn’t quite so worried. The fear in his set jaw and pinched brow was bothersome.
Since our kiss—and yes, I was aware that the situation was now dire and my priorities were jacked—I couldn’t help but want more of him. It might take some time to get me riled up, but once that motor was revved, it couldn’t be stopped. I was aware of every movement he made as I held the flashlight for him. The gentle strength in his massive body. The way he fussed over my clothes, insisting I keep the hat and gloves. His forehead was creased with stress that I wanted to smooth away with kisses. I wanted to be swept up into his lap and let him toss me around in any way he saw fit.
“Okay. We can do this.” His shoulders heaved up and down in the beam of the flashlight.
I nodded, shivering from head to toe.
“Just remember to keep a cool head. That’s the most important thing,” he said.
I clicked my tongue. “You’ve said that four times now. I’m starting to think you aren’t just telling yourself.”
He was silent; the light from my headlamp made him squint. “I’m just reminding you.”
“I’m great in high-pressure situations,” I said.
“Like when you attacked me in the bathroom?”
“Self-defense,” I mumbled.
“Or the spider?”
“Are we going or wasting time rehashing the evening’s events?”
“Okay,” he said and took a bracing breath.
He pulled apart the doors, then used his body to keep them propped.
The breath was stolen from my lungs with the blast of freezing air. With the realities of life outside the tram, I forgot all about the kiss. Or at least moved it down the priority list, just below survival. The snow was no longer friendly fat flakes as it had looked from the top of the mountain. It was sneaky fingers that burrowed into every nook and cranny. The wind sliced icy shards across any and all exposed skin.
Welp. We were screwed.
“Bee?” Owen yelled from where he blocked me from falling out the open door. “Don’t look down!”
So, obviously, I did. He should have said “Don’t look up” if he was serious.
It was a terrible mistake. Time and space zoomed in and out. My vision narrowed down to a pinpoint at the same time, it shot out infinitely. My knees went watery. My gut churned. There was a deep instinctual voice of survival that yelled, This is the way to death, turn back!
This was why it was best to act and not think. Too much planning meant living through scenarios that may never happen. And if they were to happen, why experience them more than once?
I could hardly hear Owen over the screaming weather, but he gave me the play-by-play of how to get to the center pole where the ladder was located so we could climb down and jump.
“Lots of fresh powder. Like a blanket.” I nodded, even though only bits and pieces of his words were being processed. “Once I’m down, I’ll flash the light three times to let you know when you’re clear to follow.”
I gnawed at my bottom lip, heart racing. The jump itself was scary enough, but the cabin that seemed so close when traveling on the tram in the past was hardly a pale smear in the pitch-black. How long would the trek in the snow be? God, this was a mistake, and we should stay.
I couldn’t change my life if I were dead.
With his body still twisted to block the door, he grabbed my shoulders. “You are right. This is the best plan. The cabin. The fire. It’s all good. We got this. Okay?”
I nodded, stomach dangerously close to heaving the Pop-Tarts. “The b-bathroom,” I added helpfully.
“Yes. Right. Okay. Come out to the ledge with me. The doors are gonna snap shut without the power on,” he said.
Not surprisingly, the tram was not designed to be climbed. However, in the spot where it got stuck, the tower allowed workers to climb to the top and make repairs. That meant we just had to hold on to the exterior rail for a few steps before we reached the relative safety of the tower.
With the supplies on his back, he let me pass. The whole tram rocked more when clinging to its exterior. The air bit through the layers, even with his hat and gloves on. My bag-wrapped shoes had little purchase, so I clung to the handrails that lined the side with my whole body. Every second, I was taunting death.
“We just need to step onto the tower. Then the ladder.” He let go of the doors, and they snapped shut, his foot barely getting out of the way in time. The tram swayed dangerously, and I moaned, the bar cutting into my arm. His face was colorless when I checked on him. He blinked back from the beam of the flashlight. “I’m okay. I’m going to go around you,” he shouted. “Just follow me as close as possible.”
As soon as he passed, I gripped him with one hand and the handrail with the other.
I clung to his middle as best I could as we slowly scooted off the tram onto the massive tower surrounding it. There was more room and more grips to hold on to. My adrenaline was coursing so hard that I couldn’t feel the cold anymore.
“I’m going down.” Owen descended the ladder, flashlight clenched between his teeth.
Every step away from me, the fears poured in.
Cold. Loud. Fear. Death. Help.
This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening. We were scaling a tower in the middle of a snowstorm because it was the safe choice. All because I hadn’t been invited to a party. Was I really the world’s most self-centered person? Or had my heart been broken so many times that it couldn’t find empathy as easily? Either way, Owen didn’t deserve any of this. Fear and guilt battered me harder than the wind.
He shouted something, but I couldn’t make it out. I could only stare, blinking back freezing tears, as his light grew dimmer and dimmer.
Then gone.
I was meant to follow right behind, but I struggled to get my body moving. This was a first for me. This had been the plan I pushed. I closed my eyes, sucked in a deep, freezing, motivating breath, choked on a snowflake, coughed a few times, then forced myself to move.
I started down the ladder after him, one shaking step at a time. Slowly, and with intent, I moved one foot then the other, arms threaded through the rungs as gravity did its best to help. I started to find a pattern and focused on the rhythm of my body. Just when I thought I might make it, my stupid bagged foot slipped right off the rung. I gasped out and smacked my chin on the step as I flailed to hold on.
There was a shout lost in the wind below.
I squeezed my eyes tight, sweating despite it all. There were no other options. I had to keep moving. I gripped the ladder, pits and hands damp with sweat. I closed my eyes, begging to just hold on a few more feet. Just a few more feet. Just one more jump and the worst was over.
When I reached the point where the rungs ended, I waited for the sign from Owen. The hazy abyss stared back at me, blurred and chaotic. Flakes whizzed past through the beam of light from my flashlight. I squinted my eyes, trying to make him out, trying to see anything.
Panic.
Fear.
“Owen,” I moaned, realizing that my teeth were chattering so hard that the muscles in my jaw ached.
Nothing.
He fell. His legs were broken. I shouldn’t have done this. This was all my fault. I was selfish to think I could change my lot in life, any more than a tiger could change its spots. Wait, a lion could change their stripes? Whatever. I wanted to go back to the comfort of my home. I wanted to forget any of this ever happened. Who would feed the cats?
A flash in the darkness.
Then another and a third.
I sobbed out in relief, and the sound was instantly carried away. It wasn’t as far as I thought. He was just a few feet below. Fresh snow. Like a bed.
I took a bracing breath. I slid down the remaining rungs so only my hands held me in Owen’s too-large gloves. I was slipping with every second; the jump would be made with or without my consent.
“Three … Two … One … Happy New Year!” I screamed as I let go.
The ground came up so much faster than I thought it would. It was both hard and squishy. It moaned with an oomph .
That wasn’t the ground; that was Owen. His strong arms once again banded around me.
He was shouting questions at me that I could hardly make out through the blood pounding in my ears.
“I did it! I did it! Oh my God, I did it!” I shouted, flailing my arms in victory. I think I hit his face as he continued to brace my hips.
“You did it!” he shouted, a goofy grin on his features as he moved the flashlight to inspect me.
“I feel like a god! I should book a backpacking trip to Europe. I should skydive. I should finally sign up for that fitness class!” Even I could tell that last one was a promise I wouldn’t keep outside the heat of the moment.
I spun and realized I was now straddling him where he lay supine on the ground. “Why are you lying down?”
“For the view,” he said dryly.
“Not really the time.” I scooted off him, slipping as I came to stand. I held out a hand and helped lift him. I was strong.
“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” he asked.
“No, no, I’m fine. Are you?” I patted his face.
“I’m fine. You hit my junk when you landed, but other than that, I’m fine.”
“Oops, sorry.”
“I’m used to it. I’m gonna tie us together now. Hold the flashlight,” he explained.
I couldn’t stop whooping as he tied us together. I kept hitting his arms—in a loving way. “I can’t believe we did it.”
“I’m just relieved to be on the ground.” He tugged on the rope, testing the knot, and I fell into his arms. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and jumped up to kiss his face. I was high on adrenaline and not shattering my bones. He blinked dazedly down at me before a wind pushed me further against him.
“Let’s get moving,” he said, but not before bending to press one more kiss against my cheek. It thrilled me.
I didn’t care if it was motivated by his brush with death. I still liked it.
“Stay as close as possible,” he instructed.
“You know where to go?” I tilted to see around him, but as was the theme of the day, I only saw a darkness.
The problem with being on the ground now was that the emergency cabin had completely disappeared. I was completely turned around and discombobulated from the jump and couldn’t even tell which way was up. It was still so eerie that anything could be seen at all. Blackness was all around where the flashlight wasn’t. In the light, the beam showed drifts of white and never-ending snow falling sideways, like a bad dream impossible to wake from.
He turned in the direction of the supposed cabin, which was, unfortunately, directly into the wind. I had my eyes mostly closed, holding the flashlight, but feeling my way and being mostly pulled along by Owen. His size and strength brought me comfort. It was unimaginably loud. I hadn’t expected that. Only the comforting crunch of his boots could be heard, in addition to the screaming wind battering at my face and neck.
The bags on my feet were a terrible idea. Sure, they were dry, but I had no traction. I gave up trying to stomp through the shin-deep snow after only a few yards. Instead, I attempted to glide, being carried along as I was.
By the third fall, Owen stopped and turned.
“Maybe the bags weren’t such a good idea,” I shouted.
He looked down at me and then behind him. “It’s okay. We aren’t that far.” He bent and scooped me up.
“Owen! You can’t carry the bag and me!” I tried to grab the straps of the bag. “At least let me carry the bag.”
He looked at me, waiting.
“Okay, I see.” Making the connection with a palm to my forehead. “You’d still be carrying us both. All right, well, carry on, then.”
He shifted me, and I tucked my face into his neck. He smelled so good, even with the added cold and wet smell. My whole body trembled uncontrollably. His features were twisted with worry, and I smiled in return, wrapping my arms around his neck and squeezing.
“I’ve got you,” he said simply.
And I believed him. I was completely safe with this man. He wouldn’t let anything happen to me, and it was as if the weight of the world melted off me.
Right after I’d fallen on top of Owen Campbell was the moment I fell hard for him.