35. Kennedy
Kennedy
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
I watch the first video and initially focus on the house. I think my mind appreciates escape. Isn't that what specialists say amnesia is? An escape generated by trauma so great that the brain becomes unable to process the event?
In the prison hospital, after I came out of the coma and was still unaware that the most interested party in confirming whether I really had amnesia was Hades, I let them turn me inside out because I also wanted to remember.
No neurologist who evaluated me saw any damage to my brain, which led psychiatrists to conclude that my condition was a step beyond: unconsciously, I didn't want to remember.
Not even spending two years in a coma and coming out of it made me regain my memory. It took a reunion with Hades for me to finally start unraveling my story.
I'm standing in the hallway watching the videos, and Hades has gone to the living room, probably to give me privacy.
On the phone screen, I see Pam walking down the hallway of the main house carrying a thermal bag, but I don't focus on her because it's still painful, despite everything, to see her healthy and remember how her life ended. The day I found her dead, I had no memory of who she was in my life, and still, I was horrified, so much so that I fled that house. However, now that I understand who Pam was to me, and especially since the memories of our time together have returned, I deeply regret her tragic death.
I look at the Persian rugs covering the hallway floor of Hades' grandfather's house, the artwork on the wall, and also one or two sculptures as she walks.
When Pam reaches the library, I watch in horror as she pours the contents of an item that was in her bag into each one of the whiskey bottles.
Now, my memory rushes back, mingling with the footage.
As I watch her leave and the first video ends, I know what will come next. Even so, I press play.
As the video plays, I watch Hades in the library and then my argument with him, but mainly I focus on his hand holding a whiskey glass.
The whiskey in which Pam put something.
A shiver of disgust spreads through me because it takes me no time to understand what she did.
How could she?
Through the phone, I see myself leaving the library, and a few minutes later, Hades going after me. The video ends.
I click on the next one.
I widen my eyes when I see that it's at Vina's house, and he’s come to get me. We kiss. Hades picks me up.
End of footage.
But it's the next video that grabs my full attention, bringing back every detail of it to my mind.
The two of us make love on the library carpet.
The scene is so intense and passionate that I swear if I close my eyes, I can feel him inside me.
I watch it twice and feel like crying when I realize how deeply I gave myself to him.
And yet, to Hades, that must have meant nothing because he was drugged!
I want to throw the phone away. Did I take advantage of him? Because it's obvious to me that Pam drugged him.
I see myself, like a fool, telling him that I am his and will be forever.
The video ends again, and shame spreads through my blood.
That wretch wanted to incapacitate him to take him to bed.
The next video is of an argument between me and Pam, that same night, in the hallway at Vina's house. As if I were there again with her, I remember every phrase:
“Why did you shower at this hour?”
“Pam, I didn't know you were back.”
“Answer me, Juliet.”
Guilt overwhelmed me because I knew she was jealous, but soon her reaction irritated me because she had no right to Hades.
He was mine —I thought at the time, like a fool.
But before I could say anything—and I'm sure I would have because my patience with Pam had run out—she hugged me.
Only to start screaming seconds later because she saw a hickey that I'm sure I got from Hades.
Maybe she also suspected that it was him who’d done it, since she knew Hades was in the library, drugged. Pam wasn't stupid. She put two and two together, because soon after, she said something that broke my heart.
“I heard him bet his brother, at my birthday party at the club, that he could take you to bed, and you, like an idiot, gave in. He must be laughing at you right now.”
I was insecure, and her words were like confirmation that I would never be loved, that I was just a toy in the Greek's hands. I fled. Changed clothes and wandered the streets aimlessly.
"I need you to tell me what Pam said to you that night that made you leave the house, Kennedy."
I hadn't noticed that Hades had returned, and I startle. "Does it matter?"
"It matters to me."
"She told me you bet Ares that you could take me to bed. Pam noticed a hickey on my neck and came to her own conclusions, then accused me of being an idiot by giving in to you."
"Damn it! I would never do that, Kennedy. I'm not a boy who needs to count conquests."
"You had sex with me against your will!"
He approaches, and even though I believe he must be seething with anger from now having proof that both of us were manipulated by Pam, he gives me one of his sardonic smiles. "Believe me, I've always wanted to have sex with you. Dirty, intense, and very sweaty sex. The drug Pam used to spike the drinks removed inhibitions, made my desire uncontrollable, but that desire always existed. I wanted you from that first day you walked into the casino's meeting room."
I feel my face burn with embarrassment. "Even so, I . . .I'm sorry. I had no idea you weren't in control of your actions."
"You're sorry? You were a virgin, Kennedy. You deserved . . .everything! I wish I could go back in time, not have taken you on the carpet but in my bed, but I can't say I regret it because that was the night we made King. I've watched the video several times. I didn't use a condom."
I look down, mortified. "I noticed. At the time, I didn't even think about it."
"I've never failed to use one, and I'd like to say it was the drug's fault for my not remembering, but I can't swear I would have used it even if I had been fully conscious of my actions."
"I was going to come back to you that night, I remember now. I went to take a shower and change clothes because you . . .um . . .had torn my pajamas. Jesus, I was going to humiliate myself because the thing you said, that I was yours, didn't match what you were feeling!"
"Kennedy."
"I . . .I need to be alone."
I run to my room, not giving him a chance to say anything else.
When I wake up, he is no longer in our house.
I slept until eleven in the morning. Finally, the sleepless nights have taken their toll.
Ernest tells me that Hades stayed with King until about half an hour ago and that besides bathing our son, he also fed him. "He's good at it."
"Taking care of a child?"
Ernest nods. "Hades said that one of his brothers, the second youngest, Dionysus, was a single father for a while and that the four of them took turns taking care of the little boy because they didn't trust nannies."
I try to visualize the scene because even though I don't know the other three Greeks, I've seen pictures of them, but I can't imagine the arrogant men doing something as trivial as taking care of a child.
Soon, however, I remember the way Hades spoke to King not only yesterday but also the day he took me to the hospital.
Yes, he likes and is good with children.
"What are you thinking, Kennedy?"
"I watched some videos yesterday," I say, forcing my mind to focus on something practical and not the fact that Hades isn't the avenging demon I want to believe he is.
"Hades mentioned them."
"Did he tell you what they contained?"
"No. He only briefly mentioned that the videos could help your defense."
I don't have the courage to say out loud, near King, that he was conceived while his father was drugged by that criminal, so I take a notepad on the sink and write a summary of the video for Ernest to read.
He widens his eyes as soon as he finishes. "So these are the proofs Hades mentioned, then."
"Yes. At least, she wasn't the saint the prosecution painted in the case files," I say. "I'm not saying she deserved to die that way, but what she did shows she didn't have a good character."
"And Hades is willing to expose himself to save you."
"What?"
"He told me he was going to take the evidence to the team of lawyers he hired to defend you, Kennedy."
"My God, but there's one where we . . .”
"I don't think he'll show that one."
"Have you watched . . .uh . . .any of it?"
"No. He didn't show me the recordings, and I doubt he'd ever let me see your intimacy. And I wouldn't agree to watch it."
"What did you mean then by 'he's willing to expose himself for me?'"
"These videos might be kept under seal by the judge for a while, Kennedy, but there's a chance they could eventually leak. Everyone will know that Pam deceived him, drugged him, and he doesn't seem worried about that at all, if what's at stake is your freedom."
"I don't know what to think."
"And you don't need to, for now. Let life take its course, dear. Hades said he'd come back later to take you out to eat because you need to talk about the future."
"Maybe he’s forgotten that I have to follow rules or I'll lose the right to give my defense while out on bail. I can't go out to dinner or leave the house after six in the evening, except in an emergency, like when I had to be hospitalized because of the bee sting."
"He does remember. He's taking you out for a late lunch."
"He said he wants to discuss the future? I don't have a future. Not until my innocence is proven. And I don't think I should accept this new legal team. It's better if we continue with the one you arranged, from that mysterious protector. Will you never tell me who he is, Ernest?"
"I will, dear, but not now. You are a strong woman, but you are not unbreakable, and what I will reveal will hurt you. Want some advice?"
"Always, Ernest. I trust you with my life."
"Listen to what your Greek has to say.”