Chapter 5
Just when I thought life couldn’t get any worse, I was proven wrong.
Since the first night Nathan made me have sex with him, he had been sneaking into the living room and fucking me whenever he felt like it.
It was crazy to me that my aunt never suspected anything, since he was at the house more than he had ever been.
I tried to talk to Shaylyn about it, but when I mentioned it, she turned cold.
We used to be close, but everything changed overnight.
She spent most of her time at her grandmother’s house, so I was shocked when she came in late last night.
Whenever I tried to talk to her about the distance between us, she would brush me off, saying she was busy.
I never felt so alone in my life, and depression had swept right in and taken over.
There were so many times I thought about going into Trina’s medicine cabinet, grabbing one of her pill bottles, and swallowing as many pills as I could until the pain stopped.
I missed my brother. I missed East, Logic, and Naiari, too.
Nathan was her biological father, and I often wondered if she had experienced the same thing I was going through.
I remember her crying when he cut her off and stopped coming around.
It was the only reason I recognized who he was because he used to pick her up on some weekends.
It disgusted me to know a man with daughters could be capable of inflicting pain on someone else’s child, but he didn’t seem to care.
It had been months since the abuse started, and I had never felt so dirty and worthless in my life.
When Tone stole my innocence, I thought it was the worst thing that could ever happen to me, but I was wrong.
Being used as Nathan’s personal sex slave was much worse.
He would hand my aunt money to go shopping and then spend hours raping me and forcing me to suck his dick.
She used to complain about how stingy he was with his money, yet she didn’t find anything odd about him suddenly giving her knots of money for no reason.
My bladder was full, so I got up from the couch and crept down the hall.
Nathan decided to stay home with his wife for the last week and a half, so Trina had been on a rampage.
I tried my best to stay out of her way, but it was easier said than done.
Right now, she was fussing at her kids about cleaning their rooms. She yelled at them every week, so you would think they would try to do better.
The closer I got to the bathroom, the louder the voices grew.
I closed the door behind me to drown them out, but it was no use.
After I peed, I realized I used the last of the toilet paper.
Trina hated when we didn’t replace the empty rolls, and I wasn’t tryna be on her shit list for the day.
There was usually some in the linen closet, so I decided to look in there first. They weren’t in their usual spot, so I searched all over until my eyes landed on a four-pack on the bottom shelf.
I bent down to grab it, and my eyes landed on a pack of pads.
I gulped, knowing it would be a while before I needed those.
My hand subconsciously rubbed my belly, and I wanted to cry.
I hadn’t seen a period in months and was too ashamed to tell my brother or his friends.
I didn’t have anyone else I could really confide in because Shaylyn had completely iced me out.
I had been doing everything I could to hide my growing belly bump, but it was only a matter of time before my secret was exposed.
I still didn’t have a job, and my living situation was unstable to say the least.
When I finished up in the bathroom, Trina was still fussing, but things had gotten even more heated.
“Bitch! You’ve been smellin’ yourself lately, and the only reason I haven’t put my foot in your ass is that my man doesn’t like all that drama.
Now what’s this I hear about you being at the clinic?
Huh? You got the bitches at the nail shop whispering about me, talking about how I don’t have control over my kids.
Who is the broke-ass little nigga you’ve been fucking on? Huh?” Trina screamed.
I couldn’t hear Shaylyn’s response, but my mind was more focused on what her momma said. Maybe that had been the reason for her being so distant lately. I felt bad for thinking she was upset with me when she was going through her own drama.
“Naw, little bitch. Where the fuck do you think you’re going?
Just because you’re about to turn eighteen, it doesn’t make you grown.
Your dumbass father and I are still taking care of your everyday needs, and as long as I’m paying to keep a roof over your head, you will not disrespect me in my house! ”
“What bills are you paying in this mothafucka, Ma? Did you forget you’re on Section 8, and that the government pays for most of the bills here?
As far as I’m concerned, this house is as much mine as it is yours.
You don’t qualify for shit unless my brothers and I are living here, or did you forget? ”
Those two fought all the time, but it had never been this bad. Shaylyn usually kept her smart comments to herself.
“Aye, what’s going on?” my older cousin, Shane, yelled. From the volume of their argument, I assumed they had migrated to the hallway.
“I’m tryna figure that out now. Your sister has been fuckin’ on some no-good ass boy and recently got an abortion.
Then the school called, saying they were concerned because the little bitch has been leaving school early and not coming back.
I want to know where the fuck her ass has been going when she’s supposed to be at school! ”
“Pregnant? Shaylyn, what the fuck is going on?” Shane pressed. A part of me felt guilty for eavesdropping, but there was nowhere else for me to go. I would have gone outside, but it was raining, and the chairs and steps were wet.
“I don’t have to answer to you, Shane. You barely spend any time here, so you don’t know what has been going on. Momma wants to sit here and pretend like she doesn’t know what’s going on, but I’m not stupid, and neither is she.” Shaylyn hissed.
I sat on the couch as the two of them went back and forth.
“W-what the fuck are you tryna say?” I heard the shakiness in Trina’s voice, and it caused me to sit up in my seat.
“I’m done having this dumb ass conversation with you because we both know you don’t want your little secrets to be exposed,” Shaylyn warned.
I heard the sound of feet running down the steps before Shaylyn appeared in the living room. Her face was flushed, and her fists were balled up as if she was ready to fight.
“Aye, Shay. What the fuck is going on? You’ve been acting weird for a little minute, and I’m tryna figure out what’s going on.
If you’re in some kind of trouble, you know all you have to do is talk to me about it.
Come on, Twin. We ain’t never kept shit from each other,” Shane pleaded.
He was protective of his siblings the way Keynauri used to be with me.
When we were little, Shane got into trouble for beating up any kid who tried to pick on us.
They were twins, but Shane always behaved like the older sibling.
The sincerity in his voice couldn’t be missed.
“Shane, please let it go.” Shaylyn’s voice cracked, which caused me to turn in their direction.
“I’m not tryna get in the middle of family business, but something isn’t right, Shay.
We used to be so close, and now you barely even look in my direction.
We’re family, boo. If you’re going through something, we’re here for you.
My life is a mess, so it’s not like I can judge you,” I expressed.
Truthfully, I wasn’t sure if I would be able to go on with life without someone in my corner, and Shaylyn was the person I trusted the most.
“How can you help me? We’re in the same fucked up boat, Cousin.” Tears streamed down her face as she chewed on her bottom lip.
“W-what do you mean?” I asked with confusion laced in my tone. Aunt Trina stood on the other side of me, but she hadn’t uttered a single word.
“You weren’t his first,” she muttered.
Her statement caused even more confusion until I replayed the words over again in my head.
“It started six months after my momma brought Nate to meet us. Back then, he would spend the night whenever he and his wife got into it, or she went out of town for work. When it first started, I didn’t like it, but he would always give me money or buy me a gift afterward in exchange for my silence.
My dad barely had any time for us when he got out of jail, and you know how my momma is.
It was nice to have someone around who showed attention. ”
“Wait. What are you saying, Shay? Are you telling me that Nate has been messing with you?” Shane asked for clarification.
“She’s a liar! You know how your sister is. She’s disrespectful and doesn’t want to follow the rules. She used to lie when she was younger, and everyone would always take her side because she was cute. I’m the only one who doesn’t seem to be fooled by her manipulation.”
My eyes shot over to my aunt in disbelief. She was standing there acting as if her daughter’s revelation wasn’t a big deal.
“You are something else. I know for a fact that you’ve walked in on us because I saw you close the door and walk out. You never gave a fuck about me, which is why I never cared when those niggas would do you dirty. You’re a sorry excuse for a mother,” Shaylyn spat.
“Oh, please. This is coming from the bitch who was fuckin’ my nigga behind my back. This is the thanks I get for all of the sacrifices I’ve made to take care of you? Huh?” Trina shouted.
“Hold up. Ma, you knew about this?” Shane interrupted.
“Shane. You need to stay out of this. You don’t have a clue what’s been going—”