Zelda
By the time my alarm goes off on Friday morning, I’ve already been staring at the ceiling for what seems like forever. I swipe the screen of my phone to turn it off and get out of bed.
Finally. Time for the day to get started.
It’s four-thirty in the morning, but the light outside is already lightening, the sky turning pink. June is my favorite month. The long days make it feel like you can get anything done before the sun sets.
Including leave your old world behind.
I slip into my running clothes, lace up my shoes, and head out the door.
My nerves are on fire and I’m jittery, but by the time I’ve gone a mile, I can feel myself starting to settle down.
A little bit. It might seem ridiculous to get up this early to run, but it’s going to be a long flight and an even longer day.
This will probably be the last peaceful time for a while, because once I land, it’s going to be one of those horrible adjustment periods.
Exciting adjustment periods, I remind myself. This time, it’s exciting. I’m not running away from anything. I’m running—
Well, right now I’m running in a big circle that leads straight back to my parents’ house, but there’s nothing symbolic about it. It’s the route that I take.
I haven’t had a chance to look up running routes near Stanford. I should do that.
Without thinking, I take my usual route back home, which has me finishing right in front of Sawyer’s aunt’s house.
His car is still in the driveway, and there are no lights on inside—no surprise, since it’s 5:15 a.m. I don’t hesitate when I run by.
My heart tugs at me to go and knock on the door, but there’s no way I’m going to do it, and especially not now, at this hour.
I straighten my back and pick up the pace for the last few strides into my parents’ driveway.
I’m starting over. I’m starting over today.
Inside, I give my heart a minute to slow down, then spring back into action. Carly’s going to be here at five forty-five, so I don’t have a million years to stand around reminiscing about all the times I’ve spent in this basement apartment, doing such exciting things as…homework and watching TV.
And Sawyer.
I let myself linger on those memories for long enough to turn on the shower, and then I hop in. No more time for wallowing, only acting, and I’m ready to go.
When Carly’s Taurus pulls into the driveway, I’m waiting outside the basement door sitting in one of my mom’s folding chairs, paperback in my lap, suitcases waiting next to me.
I took my time drying my hair and piling it on top of my head in a delightfully messy bun.
Then I went upstairs and had eggs and toast with my parents, who woke up early for the occasion. And I still had time to spare.
Carly climbs out at the same moment that the front door opens and closes, and my parents descend, my mom holding a paper plate full of cookies wrapped neatly in a plastic bag.
We exchange long hugs, and they thank Carly profusely.
My dad loads the bags into her trunk and I sling my oversized purse into the front seat.
The small talk flies around me, barely registering, and I take a deep breath of the clean air.
My heart twists a little in my chest. I will miss it here.
That’s okay, I tell myself. You can always come back.
“You ready to go, friend?” Carly looks radiant, as always, despite the fact that it’s the crack of dawn.
“Let’s do it.”
We trundle slowly down the street, past Sawyer’s aunt’s house, and she catches me looking. “We have time if you want to stop.”
“For what?”
“You know, a last talk…a last…” She lets her voice trail off, wriggling her eyebrows.
And I think about it for a second. I really do…right up until I notice that his car is gone from the driveway.
“He’s not there.”
Carly sighs. “I guess it wasn’t meant to be.”
I try to ignore the ache in my chest.
It’s a fifteen minute drive to the airport, and on the way she plays our favorite songs from the club.
“I’m going to miss you,” I shout over the noise as we fly down the freeway.
“I’m going to miss you, too,” she says with a big smile. “But you’re going to California. I’m going to visit so much you’ll get sick of me.”
“Never!”
“Ha!”
Then she starts singing the chorus along with the song that’s playing, and that’s how we spend the last two miles before we reach the terminal.
She pulls up to the curb right by the bag check for my airline, and helps me hoist the bags out, dragging them over to the agent there and charming him deeply in the process.
They put tags on the suitcase handles and pull them back behind the counter.
“These are all set,” the agent says, his smile white and perfect.
“Thanks.”
I give Carly a long hug, and someone who has pulled up behind her double-parked car honks. She looks me in the eyes. “You’re going to be great. But I have to go!” She reaches out one last time for another quick hug, and then she’s gone, waving an apology at the driver behind her.
I’m on my own.
In the airport, I check in at one of the automated kiosks, which prints out my boarding pass for me. The line to go through security isn’t very long, and I have plenty of time to make my way through. I sit down to lace up my shoes on the other side, then ride the moving walkways to my gate.
People’s voices float in the air around me, blending together, and it reminds me of that night in the club, all the noise in the air becoming one wall of sound. It reminds me of seeing Sawyer for the first time, silhouetted in the entrance. The way his eyes locked onto mine and didn’t let go.
I take my phone out of my purse and hesitate. Maybe this is a bad idea. Maybe it’s foolish to try and leave Greenville without tying up this loose end.
Bad idea…
The thought sends a spiral of panic through my lungs. Oh, God, what if I regret this forever? Is a text enough? What if I leave right now and—
I jump up before I can think it through, my fist clenched around the handle of my purse, and twist back around toward the moving walkways, colliding directly with a solid mass of a man who’s all muscle and smells like—
I raise my eyes to his, and my heart leaps into the stratosphere. When he smiles, a shockwave runs down from the top of my head to my toes. Tears spring to my eyes.
“Hey.”
It’s like we’re starting all over again.
For the second time in minutes, my heart goes wild.