Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
Rolani sat in Kennedi’s driveway, fifteen minutes early. His mind had been swinging between clarity and mush. One conversation a week ago had literally changed everything for him.
A father.
An honor.
All his moves felt heavy; he couldn’t fuck up. The weight came from the fact that this baby carried his name from the beginning. There was no separation between choice and obligation. This one was his.
Two dozen roses and a gift bag sat in the passenger seat. He’d woken up at 6 a.m. and couldn’t go back to sleep, so he hit the florist when they opened at seven. The woman behind the counter had given him a knowing smile—one that said she could tell he was down bad.
He was. No point pretending otherwise. Before the baby, he already knew he’d nut up on anybody about, behind, and for Kennedi, now he’d take it to hell for her and their child.
Their child.
His phone buzzed. Robin’s name flashed across the screen. He was still locked up, but that hadn’t stopped him from acquiring a phone that he used sparingly. Today was a big day, and he knew his big brother needed some comfort.
“What’s good?” Rolani answered.
“Tell me something nigga, damn.”
“Man, I’m sitting in her driveway right now. I’m early.”
“Ahh shit, this nigga nervous. Bro, be cool.” Robin laughed, pulling one out of Rolani also.
“I’m tryin’ bruh. This shit got me anxious as fuck.”
“Aye, it’s cool though. First appointment, first time dad, and all that.” Robin’s voice shifted to concern. “What’s on your mind? How you feeling?”
Rolani rubbed his hand down his face. “I don’t even know. One minute I’m good, next minute I’m thinking about everything that could go wrong. What if something’s off with the baby? What if… shit, what if I turn out like Ronald, shit, Tawny.”
Robin sighed. He hated it when Rolani got like this. He also hated when he brought up their bitch ass parents, but they couldn’t escape the truth. Their parents hadn’t shown them the way.
“P, would be slapping the taste outta ya mouth if she heard you. You know where life and death lie. And on that other shit, fuck them. You a stand up nigga Ro. And I probably don’t tell you enough, but you’ve been more of a father to me than some fucking Ronald. I owe everything to you.”
“I know, I know.” He exhaled. “I need to see her. Hear the heartbeat. Make sure everything’s straight.”
“Her?”
“I think it’s a her. I’m emotional as fuck right now. I feel soft. Fuck.”
“I feel soft, nigga you are soft. Been told you that.”
“If I’m soft, what does that make you, because you ain’t never beat me in anything, pussy.”
“Blah, blah, blah. Man, I can’t believe this shit. Rolani got bit by the love bug.”
“Fuck you, Rob.”
They laughed and joked around like kids for a second, and he felt lighter already.
“You gon’ be fine. Now go get your girl and check on my niece or nephew. Man up.”
Rolani grinned. “Aight, aight.”
They disconnected as he hopped out of the car. His long legs made it a quick journey to her door. He laughed at the ‘Hoe, why is you here?’ wreath before knocking on the door.
It was warm for mid-March, but he loved it; the warmer the better.
He went to knock again, and the door swung open, revealing a smiling Kennedi.
He got lost in her pearly whites and that smile that made his heart feel too big for his body.
She was gorgeous, and he loved her in braids; it seemed to be her signature style, and he fucked with it.
Today, she was in a yellow, soft, butter-colored sundress that stopped mid-thigh, loose enough to be comfortable but fitted at the top to show off her shape.
The fabric moved when she did, catching light, making her glow.
White sneakers kept it casual, and she had a denim jacket thrown over her arm. Simple. Easy. Sexy without trying.
The dress no longer concealed the small swell of her stomach, and seeing it—visual proof of their baby—hit him with pride, possession, and protection all at once.
The feelings tangled together until he couldn’t tell which one was leading.
He thought back to the hallway, to how she had moved and shielded him.
That’s why she couldn’t come to work that day.
He shook his head and chuckled.
“You gonna stand there staring, or you coming in?” she asked, stepping aside.
He held up the roses and gift bag. “These are for you.”
Her eyes lit up immediately. “Ahh, Rolani...Thank you. I love gifts.”
“Open it.” He followed her inside, watching her set the roses down on her coffee table before pulling out the tissue paper in the bag.
The gasp that escaped her told him he’d done well trusting Monroe, who had lost her cool when she found out the news and insisted they get her more than flowers. She’d tried her hardest to skip school, but he had to put Kennedi’s comfort first for today. It was a moment they needed.
“Rolani, this is perfect. I love scrapbooking. How did you know that?”
“I saw them at your people’s crib. I figured the baby needs one, and we might as well start now.”
“This is perfect. I love it. Come on, let’s take our first picture, baby daddy.”
His heart leaped out of his chest as she wrapped his arms around her waist. He tucked his chin in the crook of her neck as she took the picture. Her skin was as soft as he remembered. He wanted his hands on her again—everywhere—but they had time now. He could be patient.
“For now, baby daddy, for now.”
“Yeah, for now.”
“Come on. I don’t want us to be late,” Kennedi said, grabbing his hand.
He stepped aside to let her lock up, then followed her down the walkway. At the Escalade, he opened her door and rested his forearm on the roof while she got in, eyes scanning the street out of habit. When she was inside, he shut the door and came around to the driver’s side.
“Hey, you nervous?” she asked, placing a soft hand on his cheek.
“A little.”
She shook her head. “I’ve taken very good care of little LA since I found out.”
His hand came up to cover hers against his face. “I believe you, and I trust you. I fuck with Little LA.”
He was different already. It was funny how that worked because she had been the same way.
“Let’s go,” she said quietly. “I know you want to see…”
“Go ahead and say her. I know it’s a her.”
“I refuse. Let’s go.”
And with that, they took off toward her doctor’s appointment.
“Aye, I got a bone to pick with you.”
“About what?”
“You’ve been frolicking all over town, like shit was sweet. Let me take care of you, and you looked me in my face and kept it from me. What’s up with that?”
She swallowed. Her fingers twisted in her lap. There wasn’t a clever comeback for that.
He pulled up to a red light and turned to look at her fully.
“I will lose my mind if anything happens to either one of y’all.
So the fact that you were walking around hiding this, not letting me take care of you the way I should’ve been, that’s what got me fucked up.
That’s what I can’t get past right now.”
The light turned green. He faced forward and started driving again.
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “There’s no excuse for how I handled it.”
“I know you are.” He kept his eyes on the road. “But sorry, won’t give me back the months I missed. I should’ve been at every appointment. I should’ve been the one rubbing your back, making sure you ate. I should’ve known.”
She didn’t have a comeback for that. Because he was right.
“You make it sound easy,” she said finally. “Like I was sitting on the information for fun.”
He didn’t respond.
“I was trying to figure out what this even was,” she added, softer but still edged. “You and me. I didn’t want to tell you, and then you decide I’m just… another responsibility.”
He glanced at her, jaw still tight.
“I ain’t never been that type of man.”
Rolani turned the radio back up and grabbed her hand.
When they arrived, he helped her out of the car and into the building. He was handling her with kid gloves. And she thought it was cute.
They found seats in the waiting area. The space was full of expectant mothers and newborns—some women looked ready to pop, others cradling tiny bundles, a few with toddlers running between chairs. It smelled like bleach and a shitty diaper in the place, and Rolani wasn’t feeling it.
“What?” she asked at his face.
“You don’t smell that. One of these babies took a shit,” he fussed loudly.
Kennedi covered her face and popped him in the stomach. “Rolani, sit down,” she laughed. “You can’t say s.h.i.t around other people’s kids.”
“Shit, why not?” he smiled. “Their parents are probably saying worse.”
“Behave.”
He looked around the room, taking it all in before he sat down beside Kennedi.
The woman sitting across from them was swaying slightly, with her beautiful baby boy on her shoulder. He couldn’t be more than a few months old. The baby’s head turned, eyes landing on Rolani—big, curious, wide awake.
They stared at each other. The baby’s mouth opened in a gummy smile, then a little coo, and Rolani went still.
“What you looking at, little man?” he said quietly. “Is that you smelling like shit?”
His mother laughed before holding him up to smell him.
“Nope, not this one.”
The baby kicked his legs, still locked on Rolani’s face like he was the most interesting thing in the room.
Before he could say anything else, a nurse opened the door and called a name. A woman stood, waddling toward the back, her partner trailing behind.
Rolani watched them disappear down the hallway, his eyes scanning the room again. He wasn’t sure what a doctor’s office was supposed to look like, but he could appreciate how clean it was. He had to trust Kennedi knew what was best.
Another name was called. Then another. Each time the door opened, his attention snapped to it. Soon he’d have to step out to calm his nerves.
“Kennedi Walters?”
Finally.