26. Ethan
CHAPTER 26
Ethan
We walk into the club, Bridget nervously clutching my arm as we approach security. It took a little convincing to get her on board, but a few pops of my dimple, followed by multiple orgasms and some last resort begging about it being my birthday, and here we are.
“Relax, this’ll be fun. I’ve got you, hellcat, promise,” I whisper into her ear. She nods and swallows, my eyes tracking the way her throat bobs.
“Welcome to Pulse,” the hostess greets us. “Are you members?”
“No, but I have this,” I say as I hand her Alyx’s card. Bridget looks at me quizzically. I lean down into her ear. “It’s Alyx’s. He won’t tell anyone we’re here, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“Is he here tonight?”
“Nah, he’s at the restaurant,” I reassure her as I reach down and squeeze her ass. I can feel the way her body shivers at my touch.
“I’ll need both of your IDs and phones. We have a strict no-phone policy in the club. For the privacy of our guests, we don’t allow videos or photos to be taken inside. We’ll hold on to your phones and IDs until you leave. You can retrieve them here on your way out. Are you familiar with the club’s rules and bracelet system?”
We shake our heads, and she continues, “Here at Pulse, your safety is our primary concern. Our members are thoroughly vetted with extensive background checks. All members pay a yearly fee and must produce regular STI tests for full access to the club. Failure to do so will limit access to parts and perks of the club. Members are awarded two guest passes a year, and guests using those passes have limited access to the club and its members. As Alyx’s guests, you have access to the main room of the club and the private rooms. However, you’re not allowed to invite anyone in the club to join you in any activities without a clean STI test on file. You can only partake in consensual play between the two of you. Normally, a guest pass would only give you access to the main room, but since Alyx is also an employee, we can make an exception for you.”
My eyebrows shoot up, and I try to hide the look of surprise on my face. He’s also an employee? Why the fuck would he keep that secret from me? Finding out he also works at a sex club would be less shocking than the sight I have burned into my brain of walking in on him balls-deep inside multiple partners. I’m not yucking his yum, but I’d just prefer a warning so I don’t have to see my friend in compromising positions.
“Alyx works here too? Did you know?” Bridget whispers in my ear while the hostess’s back is turned.
“I had no clue,” I whisper back. “But I’m not surprised. I’m pretty sure that’s not something he advertises at the restaurant in front of Mina and Dre.”
Our hostess continues, “We have a full bar with a two-drink maximum for the safety of all patrons and employees. No drug use is permitted in the club. And we have a zero-tolerance policy regarding hate speech, bullying, and violence. There’s no warnings for that, you’ll just be immediately removed from the club and banned.”
Pointing to a sign on the wall, she recites the color-coding from memory as we follow along.
“Black means only watching.”
“Blue means open to men joining.”
“Pink means open to women joining.”
“Green means open for anyone to join.”
“Yellow means here with someone, not open to adding anyone.”
“Red means looking for a sub.”
“White means looking for a dom.”
I glance at Bridget to see her reaction. Her eyes darken as she looks at me, and her earlier fears are nowhere to be seen.
The hostess’s voice breaks our focus as she asks, “Do you know what color bracelet you’d like? Without an STI test on file, you won’t be able to seek out other partners in the club, so black and yellow are your only options for now.”
Confident in my choice based on our earlier conversation, I say, “Black.”
“Yellow,” Bridget says at the same time as me.
We’re handed two bracelets each, one black and one yellow.
“Is this your way of telling me that you’re with me?” I ask with a hint of a smirk on my face.
“If you play your cards right,” she purrs while slipping on her bracelets and sauntering over to the black velvet-curtained entrance of the club.
Sensual music plays throughout the club as the sounds of moans punctuate the steady beats. At first, I assume the moans are coming from the music, but looking around, I realize they’re live. The club’s main room has a stage in the corner with a short catwalk that juts out from it. Several booths line the wall. There’s a bar on the opposite corner from the stage, while the middle of the room has small round tables scattered throughout. The lower tables include chairs, while the taller ones have people gathered around them.
We make our way over to a booth, and I pull Bridget in close to me, practically forcing her to sit on my lap as I glance around. There are people coupled up, engaging in different acts all over the room. Some are observing like us, while others explore their sexuality uninhibited. Near the bar, a bouncer is standing in front of an opening that leads to the private rooms.
Someone comes by to take our drink order, and Bridget orders a bourbon neat. I have a feeling she’ll need it to loosen her up for what I have planned.
As Bridget sips on her drink, her hand snakes up my thigh, and my cock jumps at her touch. Most days, all it takes is a look from her, and I’m at full mast, ready to go. She’s incredibly sexy, and it baffles me that she doesn’t see that. That past boyfriends have made her question herself and her worth pisses me off to no end. She comes across as a confident, powerful woman, but the more I’ve gotten to know her, the more I’ve seen the woman who is a powerhouse in the office but is broken emotionally. The masks she wears fool most, but not me, and peeling them back has allowed me to see all her beautifully broken pieces. I want to be there for her as she puts them back together. Hell, I’d put them together for her if she’d let me, but even though we’ve made a lot of progress in the past few weeks, we still have a long way to go before she fully trusts me. And I’m hoping tonight is another step towards that.
Looking around the room, I notice several couples and point them out to Bridget. With my hand holding her neck, I pull her face close to my lips, whispering in her ear, “Do you see that couple onstage?”
Her eyes track the couple; a man, probably in his late twenties, has a petite blonde woman, who’s easily in her late forties, tied up and bound on a bed. Her arms secured above her head, she lies there bared to him as he feasts on her.
“Fuck, that’s hot,” she starts as I feel her shift in her seat. “Look at how he’s devouring her.”
“That’s what you look like when I do that to you. See how he looks at her, licking and sucking, and then looking at her with adoration. That’s how you make me feel.”
Bridget’s focus shifts to a couple at one of the low-top tables in the middle of the room. They appear to be in their thirties, both wearing green bracelets that broadcast that they’re open to anyone joining them. An older man, maybe mid-fifties, approaches and pulls up a chair to join them. The men take turns kissing the woman before leaning forward and kissing each other as the woman watches. I notice Bridget rubbing her thighs together at the sight. “You might have a little voyeur in you. Is watching them turning you on?”
“It kind of is. He walked right up and they let him join them even though he’s…”
“Even though he’s what? Older than them?”
“I wasn’t going to say that. It’s just that the couple is hot, like an eight or nine, and the guy that joined them is like a five at best.”
“Based on the way they’re all sucking face, I’m guessing that couple doesn’t agree with your assessment. And really, it’s up to them, isn’t it?”
“Sorry, that was a shitty thing to say. Sometimes I have difficulty turning off that voice in my head, and it comes out of my mouth unfiltered.”
“Is that the same voice that says all the shitty things about my age versus yours?” I prod gently. “The same voice that convinces you that you aren’t attractive without makeup? Because I think that voice is full of shit.”
She looks at me with shock on her face that quickly morphs to confusion, like she’s thinking over the truth in my words.
“How do you do that? It’s like you’re in my head. It feels like you know me better than anyone else.”
She’s easy to read, yet she acts like no one else ever has. But the more I think about what she’s shared with me, the more I’m convinced that no one’s ever paid close enough attention to her micro-expressions to decipher what she’s saying without words.
How her eyebrows furrow when she’s working through a problem, and she’s stalling to practice reciting an answer in her head, careful to weigh out her words before she speaks.
How she chews on the bottom right part of her lip, moving it back and forth in her teeth when she’s trying to hide something.
How she plays with her left earlobe when she’s nervous, tucking it in and letting it pop back into place, only to repeat the gesture until her anxiety abates.
It blows my mind that no one in her life has taken the time to understand her, but I’ll gladly be the first.
With my hand under her chin, I angle her face toward mine as I press our foreheads together. “You make it easy for me to know you. All it requires is attention, and if you haven’t noticed, I have difficulty keeping my eyes off you.”
Her hand is still on my leg, squeezing and groping as I move mine under her arm and onto her leg. I slowly make a path up her thigh and under the hem of her dress until I’m grazing the fabric of her panties.
“Keep looking. Tell me what you see,” I say, distracting her as I draw her focus back to the club.
Her head swivels as she looks around the room, and I continue dragging my fingers up and down her panties, reveling in how they dampen the more I stroke.
“I… uh…” She struggles with words as I continue my movements. “There’s a couple over by the bar. The younger guy with the man-bun…”
While she speaks, I remove a small vibrator from my pocket and pull aside her panties as I push the tip of the toy into her pussy.
“What are you—oh fuck,” she cries as her head falls back against my arm around her shoulders.
“It’s a little gift I got you,” I say seductively.
“What if someone sees us?” she rasps, her breath picking up as I move the toy in and out, adding my fingers in, teasing her.
“Do you think anyone in this room gives a fuck what I’m doing to you right now? Look around. No one cares who we are to each other, how old we are, or that your cunt is stuffed full of my fingers.” I remove my hand from between her thighs and bring it to my mouth. Her eyes track the movement as I suck her juices off my fingers. “Fucking delicious.”
“Are you just going to leave it there and tease me?” she asks with fire in her eyes.
I pull the remote from my pocket and hold it in front of her face. “As long as you worry about what other people think, this stays off. I’ll turn this up for every fuck you don’t give.”
Her brows knit together. “That doesn’t make sense. How can I show you when I don’t give a fuck?”
I turn the remote on and click the plus sign, setting it at the lowest vibration. Her eyes widen the slightest amount. “You let me put this in you in front of everyone. That gets you two clicks.” I hit the button again. “But then you got mouthy, so I’m going to take one away.” I hit the minus sign on the device.
“Oh shit,” she moans as her ass wiggles against the seat. I pull her lips to mine, juggling the remote control so it’s in my hand around her shoulder, freeing up my other to cup her breast. She thrusts her tongue against mine, pulling my lips into her mouth before she sucks hard on my bottom lip. I hit the plus button two more times.
“One for kissing me in public like that for the first time. And one for not giving a fuck who sees me touch your breast.”
She grabs my hand and moves it under her dress. Her skin feels warm and soft as my palm caresses her nipple through the fabric of her bra. “Good girl,” I groan as I turn up the vibration.
Her tits heave against my hand. I feel her wiggling in the booth and notice that she’s reached around and unhooked her bra. The fabric falls limp on her chest as I pull it down and tweak her nipple, rolling it between my fingers. “Yes, just like that,” she moans as I hit the plus button twice.
“Keep this up, and I’m going to want to spread you out on this table and fuck you in front of this whole club.”
Her head shoots up. “I don’t…” she objects as I hit the minus button.
“All you have to do is not give a fuck. I won’t do anything you don’t consent to. You can stop this at any time. You can take my words as promises you want me to fulfill, or sexy, empty threats that make you wet but go no further. I’ve gotten you off with only my words before. Eyes on me, no one else. Can you do that for me, hellcat?”
Her eyes widen as my words sink in, nodding her head before resting it against my arm.
My finger presses the plus sign again as I whisper against her ear, “You can do it, sweetheart, focus.” She squirms in her seat as she begins stroking my length. “Fuck, that’s it,” I say, pushing against her hand as I hit the plus sign two more times on the remote.
“Holy shit,” she cries out. “I need…”
“What do you need?” I ask, still thrusting against her hand under the table.
Bridget climbs onto my lap, straddling me in the booth. I grip her hips, remote still in hand, and start gliding her pussy against my cock. Her head falls back as I tap the remote, cranking it up as high as it goes. I’m going to reward my little hellcat for this, knowing how huge a step this is.
“So fucking needy for this cock. Are you gonna use it till you come with everyone watching?”
“Oh, yes, Ethan, fuck,” she moans against my ear, her face buried against my neck as she continues to dry hump me. Her arms are wrapped around my neck as they squeeze tighter. “I’m going to… fuck, oh fuck, I’m coming!” Her hips slow as she rides out her release. I turn off the remote and pocket it. Grabbing her face, I pull it into mine, kissing her lips, her cheeks, her chin, and her neck.
“I’m so fucking proud of you, my perfect fucking queen,” I say between kisses.
The little noises and moans of appreciation she makes send a bolt of lust straight to my cock, making it ache to be free of its restraints.
“Did you?” she asks, looking down at my lap before looking up at me again.
“No, sweetheart, this was about you,” I assure her as my hand smooths between her legs, pulling out the toy before slipping it into my pocket.
Suddenly, her body stiffens as she drops her forehead to my shoulder, cursing under her breath. “What’s wrong?”
“I see someone I work with. Shit. Shit. Shit.”
Fuck, that reaction stings. She was making big steps toward being proud to be seen out with me. “Are you embarrassed to be seen here with me?”
She shakes her head against me, her face still planted firmly against my chest. “It’s not that. There’s a man a few booths behind you with black hair and a nice suit. He’s the CEO of my company. I don’t care if he sees us together, but I don’t want him to see me in a sex club. Oh shit, I’ll never be able to show my face at work again.”
Craning my neck, I twist to find the man she’s describing. He’s sitting a few booths away, sipping a drink while a young woman plants kisses on his neck. “The guy with the blonde?” I clarify.
“That’s him, his name is Mark. Please get me out of here before he sees me.”
“I’ve never seen you cower from anyone like this before.”
“He’s practically my boss and someone I’ve spent years cultivating a persona for so he would see me as an equal he could respect and promote. I worked too damn hard impressing that man to lose it in an instant because he saw me here .”
“I got you. I’m taking you to a private room. Wrap your legs around my waist, and keep your head on my shoulder.”
I move to the end of the booth and stand, holding her in my arms with a hand under her ass, doing my best to cover anything peeking out of her short dress. The bouncer waves us through the rope, and I head down the hallway, looking for an unoccupied room. Sounds of pleasure surround us as people moan and cry out from the rooms we pass. Near the end of the hall, I see that room ten is free, and I close the door behind us as we enter.
The space is simple. There’s a king-sized bed in the middle of one wall, and the opposite wall is made entirely of mirrors. There’s a dresser next to the door and a sink on the other side of that. Bridget still clings to me as I soothe her, body trembling uncontrollably. “Are you okay? You’re breathing awfully fast.”
“I… I… I th-think… I ca–I c-can’t… b-breathe,” she stutters out, clutching at her chest with one hand. I cross to the bed, holding her as I sit on the edge.
“Bridget, breathe. You’re having a panic attack. It’s okay.” I rub my hands up and down her back in a soothing motion. “Look at me. I know what you’re feeling is scary, but it’s not dangerous. I’m going to keep you safe, I promise. Can you take a deep breath and hold it for five seconds?”
Her pupils are dilated, and she’s having trouble focusing as she sucks in a shaky breath. I take a deep breath too and hold it, nodding at her to do the same. She takes a measured breath, making several attempts to hold it before she’s successful.
“That’s my good girl. Focus on my eyes. Now exhale. Good, I’m so proud of you. Take another deep breath and hold it for six seconds.” I continue making slow strokes on her back with my knuckles. “Now focus on my dimple. I know how much you love it.”
“I do n-not,” she protests through shuddering breaths. I move a hand to her wrist, feeling for her pulse point as I glance at the clock on the wall behind her.
“Keep holding that breath,” I say as I count her heartbeats. I’ve got to get her to calm down. “It’s okay. I’ve caught you staring at this dimple a lot. I know you like it.” I wink at her as the tension eases from her shoulders. “Good, now exhale. That’s it. Keep listening to my voice. Nod if you can do that.”
Giving the slightest nod, she lets out a breath, and I resume making circles and light strokes on her back as I try to relax her.
“Take another deep breath and hold it. You’re doing amazing. Keep listening to my voice and focusing on the way I’m stroking your back. Exhale and nod if you can feel my hands on your back.” She slowly nods as her eyes focus on mine.
“Good, we’re going to play a little counting game. Can you tell me five things you can see in this room?”
Her eyes dart around, and I can tell she’s having difficulty focusing. It’s as though I’m giving her a test she didn’t study for. “B-bed… mirror… uhhh… light fix–fixture …p–pillows… red walls.”
“That’s so good. Can you tell me four things you can touch?” I implore, moving my hands to her hips, lightly squeezing them.
She looks down at my chest as her hand reaches up to play with the fabric on my shirt, “Your body. This bed. The floor. Um… your legs.” She squeezes me with her thighs as she straddles me, and I can feel the tension starting to leave her body as her breathing becomes less chaotic.
“That’s it. You’re doing so well. Focus on one of those things as you continue taking deep breaths,” I coax as I dig my fingertips into her hips, squeezing and massaging before moving up to rest them on her waist. We sit there for several minutes, her hands palming my shoulders, her thighs squeezing mine, and I continue to model breathing for her. “Three things you can hear.”
“Your voice… music…” She trails off as she concentrates, closing her eyes to listen to the noises in the club. “I think someone’s moaning?” She lets out the tiniest laugh as her eyes open and flit up to meet mine.
“Tell me two things you can smell.”
“Your cologne. It’s sea salt, bergamot, and maybe citrus?” She stares into my eyes, baring her soul for me. She knows the individual notes of my cologne as though she’s memorized it. Fuck, that’s hot.
“You’re right. Now tell me something you can taste.”
She thinks for a second, a little more color returning to her cheeks. “Bourbon.”
I can feel the tension easing out of her body as we sit there, her breathing slowly returning to normal as I grab her wrist again, checking her pulse. It’s down but still high. “This is not the kind of pulse I thought I’d encounter in a club named Pulse.”
She lightly chuckles as she releases another breath. Returning my hand to her waist, we stare at each other for a few beats as I continue miming for her to copy my deep breaths. She lowers her forehead to my chest as she wraps her arms around my neck. My arms band around her back as I pull her into an embrace. We sit on the bed, inhaling deeply as we cling to each other. Her nose rubs along the column of my neck. It brings me immeasurable joy to know that my smell calms her.
The room is silent except for our breathing when my voice pierces through the stillness, “I’ve got you, sweetheart. Keep breathing for me so I can get your heart rate back to normal, okay?”
She nods against my neck as I kiss along her hairline. Once I feel her arms start to relax their hold, I reach for her face and hold her cheeks in my palms. “How are you feeling? How can I help you?”
Blinking up at me, her pupils have returned to their normal size as she appears to be coming down from the rush of adrenaline that flooded her system. Her mouth opens and closes several times before she speaks, “How did you do that? How did you know I was having a panic attack and know what to do?”
“Lizzy has a lot of panic attacks,” I say, stroking my thumb along the apple of her cheek.
“And you researched everything about them so you could help her?”
“I did. She had them quite frequently for many years. The breathing helps her the most, and so does grounding, but since she’s nonverbal, I have to describe things for her to see, feel, smell, touch, and taste. Kind of like when I had you look at my eyes and dimple.”
“I don’t know what came over me.”
“Do you have panic attacks often?”
“Not normally, but I’ve had a few. Most of them seem to be work-related. Seeing Mark must’ve triggered it. Thinking about losing everything I’ve worked so hard for scares me. I’ve spent my entire life trying to impress men like him so I could get ahead. If he sees me here, I’ll be reduced to a sexual creature. I’ll no longer be ‘one of the guys.’ If he doesn’t respect me, I’ll have given up everything for nothing. I can’t…” Her breathing starts to pick up again.
“Shhh, just breathe,” I soothe as I move one hand behind her neck and the other around her shoulders, pulling her into me. “You’re safe with me. He’s not here. He didn’t see you,” I say softly against her skin as I hold her tightly to me.
“Why are you holding on so hard?” she asks so quietly I almost miss it.
“Sorry.” I loosen my grip on her.
She lets out a deep breath as she locks eyes with me. “I didn’t mean that. I’m a mess. You deserve so much more than this, so much more than I can give you. You deserve someone who doesn’t make you sneak around, someone who isn’t worried what others think. Why are you holding on so hard to me?”
My heart stutters in my chest as the meaning of her words sinks in. “I’m holding on so hard because everything good in my life leaves, and you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. My bio mom split to chase her next high because I wasn’t enough, my dad works all the time and there are too many of us fighting for his attention and I’m not enough to capture it, and while my Nonna didn’t choose to leave, she was taken away from me and nothing I did for her was enough. Every adult in my life has left me because I wasn’t enough. But with you, I feel like I’m enough. I’ve always felt like my purpose was to help others, but I’ve never felt more important than when I’m with you. If someone as beautiful and strong as you needed me? Fuck, I could do anything.”
We sit there in silence, and I hope that the weight of my confession sinks into the depths of her heart. Several minutes pass before she speaks.
“I do need you. I didn’t know how much I needed you until now, but it’s more than that, Ethan. I want you. And that terrifies me. I’ve only ever wanted one person before, and when that ended, it fucked with me.”
“I will do everything in my power to be everything you want, and I’m not going anywhere. I mean it when I say you’re it for me,” I say as I hold her face in my hands and kiss her forehead. “What do you need right now? I can go check to see if your boss is gone, and we can sneak out.”
“No, it’s fine. I just need to sit for a minute. Can you hold me?”
“I’ll always do anything you ask of me.”
We sit there in a private room of a sex club, her straddling my lap, while I hug her tightly, one hand around her waist while the other tangles in her hair at the nape of her neck. And there is nothing I’d rather be doing.