Chapter 4 #2
“And what did I do to remind you of him?”
She’s silent for a long time. “You cracked your neck. He does that… in the dream.”
The way she hesitates makes me think this is more than just a dream scenario, but I don’t want to press her for more.
“Thank you, pet. You are such a good girl for me. I’m going to reward you with my touch,” I say, letting her know so she isn’t startled, and then I gently caress the back of her neck.
A small whimper escapes her lips as her skin erupts into goosebumps.
“Are you cold?”
“No… uh, that feels… good,” she gasps as my hands trail lower.
“Have you ever had a massage before?”
“Once, but it was a female masseuse. I wasn’t sure I could handle a man.”
“Are you feeling brave enough to handle it now?” I ask, crossing to the cabinets to grab some massage oil.
“I would like to try, sir.”
I pause my movements the second the honorific escapes her mouth.
Many a sub has called me sir. That and “daddy” are my preferred titles.
But it’s never stopped me in my goddamn tracks like it does every time she says it.
Taking a second to calm my heart and my hard-on, I blow out a slow breath as I stalk toward her.
Once I lather my hands in oil, I slowly smooth them along her shoulders and arms. I’m thorough with my movements, careful to spread the massage oil evenly as I work out a few small knots in her shoulder.
“Oh, frick, that feels good,” she moans before she instantly tenses, muttering, “Sorry, sir.”
“You can speak freely,” I say, suddenly desperate to hear every thought in her pretty head. What the fuck is wrong with me?
“Sorry, I thought I wasn’t supposed to speak unless given permission, like last time.”
“Would you like that? For me to have that kind of control over you? Are you willing to submit your speech to me again?”
“It was hard at first. I tend to ramble. But after a while, it was nice not having to share every thought or tangent in my brain.”
My mind is at odds with giving her exactly that, and getting her to open up more about her nightmares when she continues.
“At times, in my dream, I’m unable to speak because of the fear or the way he’s pinning me to the bed, holding my arms, or straddling me while he pushes down on my windpipe.
I want to say something, but I can’t. So it’s nice to be given the choice not to speak, to know I’m safe not to, and to only have to do it when commanded. My brain was oddly at peace.”
What the fuck do I say to that? The way she just summed up the reason why she’d make a perfect submissive, just beautifully explained the reason why I crave this type of dynamic, has more than just my cock swelling.
She needs to give up her control for peace, and I need to harness her power and push it to the limits for mine.
This girl is the yin to my yang, perfectly matched to crave the very thing only I can give her, and there’s not a damn thing I can do to stop it. Our demise feels like a foregone conclusion, because this can only end badly.
I should walk away, but she wiggles her ass ever so slightly, and I clench my fist to avoid spanking it. Instead, I decide to keep her talking as a distraction.
“After looking over your intake form, I noticed you selected primal play as an area you were open to exploring. Can I ask why?”
She tenses under me before releasing a deep exhale. “For the same reason I checked off an interest in breath play, to take back my power. Whether he’s chasing me, or pinning me down, he has control over me, and I need that control back. I don’t want to live in fear forever.”
“I want to try something, but it’s going to require your total trust in me, and if you feel unsafe, you can use your safe word and I will stop immediately. Can you do that for me?”
“O–okay,” she says hesitantly, turning her head to peek at me over her shoulder. I reach up and hold her chin between my fingers. “I trust you, sir.”
It takes everything in me not to tear off my mask, flip her over, and worship her body from head to toe with my tongue. I squeeze my eyes shut as I try to calm the rush of adrenaline coursing through me at her words, for once grateful for this mask.
After a few cleansing breaths, I resume the massage, gradually increasing the pressure as I work my way down her body. When she is relaxed, I gingerly climb up, straddling her thighs as I run my hands along her spine.
“Wh–what are you doing?” she asks, tensing slightly.
“Use your safe word if you need to tap out. Just know you can trust me, pet.”
A soft moan spills from her lips as I work out some knots just above her ass. Jesus Christ, this ass. I want to spank it and leave my handprint, bite it and leave my mark, fuck it and cover it in my cum.
When I’m satisfied that she’s at ease, I slowly crawl up her body, applying more pressure as I hover over her ass, careful not to put my full weight on her as I continue working upward.
I need her to feel me on her, knowing I could hold her down, yet understand that she can wriggle free at any time.
Despite my efforts, she tenses under me. “You’re safe, pet.”
Her breathing picks up, her back rising and falling rapidly beneath my fingers. I’m gentle with my movements as I work my way up her shoulder to the column of her neck, delicately tracing the soft skin there. I want to bite that flesh, mark it with my mouth, claim her, but I can’t.
She flinches and I pull back. “Too much?”
“Sorry, it tickles.”
I breathe a sigh of relief, worries of triggering her again slowly dissipating as I increase the pressure on the sides of her neck, dragging my fingers up and down.
I lean over her, propping myself up on my forearm next to her head, as I move in close to her ear, desperate to distract her.
“Your body is exquisite, pet. I want to devour you. Would you like that?” I grip the back of her neck, squeezing it as I massage the tense muscles.
“Yes,” she rasps, her thighs clenching under me.
“What else would you like?”
“I–I don’t know.”
Knowing I’m pushing the bounds of her comfortability, I press harder.
“I want to hear that pretty little mouth tell me about all the dirty things you want me to do.”
“T–touch me,” she stutters. “I just want you to touch me.”
“Where?”
“Touch me where he does. Make me think about you instead.”
The man in her dreams. She’s not asking for an orgasm, or even pleasure. Instead, she wants a distraction. “You should stop,” yells the angel on my shoulder, but fuck that guy. I want this, I want her. For once in my life, I want to take something for myself.
I tip my mask up so I can better inhale her floral scent. It smells like flowers after a spring shower, delicate and sweet. Full of promise. The tip of my nose trails along her neck as I inhale a deep breath.
She shudders under me. “What are you… doing?”
“Shhh,” I soothe as I lean back and lower my mask.
After a long exhale, she relaxes under me as I touch the places she mentioned, holding down her arms.
“Breathe, pet. You can do this. You’re safe with me.” Once she calms, I lower myself, putting more of my weight on her, no longer hovering over her ass.
“I can do this, I can do this,” she chants in a low whisper.
I pause my movements, expecting her to use her safe word.
When she doesn’t, I glide my hands up from where I’m pinning her arms, and grip the back of her neck.
She mentioned him crushing her windpipe, and even though I’m on her back, I decide she isn’t ready for that level of immersion.
Instead, I wind one hand around the front, resting it just under her jaw, while the other squeezes tighter on the back of her neck.
“I’m so fucking turned on by how strong you are. It takes a fuckton of fortitude to do what you’re doing right now.”
“I don’t feel strong,” she says softly. “I’m a mess. I can’t even get a decent night’s sleep. And for some stupid reason, I can’t even successfully let a man touch me like that.”
“Do you feel my hands on you?” I squeeze her neck a little tighter, but still nowhere near cutting off her air. “You let me touch you. Another faceless man. You willingly submit to me. Let me touch you however I wanted. And I think that’s pretty fucking strong, taking your control back.”
“Can I see your face?”
I lean back, releasing my grip on her neck, then hop off the lounger.
“That’s not a good idea,” I grit out in frustration.
My control is razor-thin, very little holding me back from ripping this mask off and making her submit the way I really want.
But I force it down. This has already gone too far.
If I cross that line with her, I could lose everything I’ve worked for these past four years. “Put your clothes on.”
Her head pops up in surprise, and the look of disappointment on her face guts me. “When can I see you again?” she asks as she slips her clothes on.
“I gave Alyx explicit instructions for when he should contact me. If the criteria I’ve given him are met, I will be in touch. There are some previous engagements I’ve committed to for the next few weeks, but if an issue arises, Alyx knows how to reach me. Do I make myself clear, pet?”
“Yes, sir,” she says, deflating a little.
Me too, pet. But all good things come to an end, and I’d rather cut her free now than hurt her later.