Chapter 18 #2
“Was it another nightmare?” Ethan asks, pulling me into a hug. I nod against his chest, unsure of what else to tell him.
“Do you need anything? Some ice water?” Bridget’s soft voice asks from the hall.
“Make her one in a tumbler with lots of ice, like you like.” I want to give him a hard time for answering for me, but I don’t have the energy to fight him.
It felt so real. I thought he was here. I thought he was back. More tears streak my cheeks when I remember how alone I actually am. And now my brother thinks I had another nightmare, and there’s no way I can tell him I had a sex dream about my masked-dom-sorta-boyfriend who recently dumped me.
“Do you have any cucumbers?” I hiccup around the words.
“I’m a chef, I always have a fully stocked kitchen. Want me to throw some in your water?”
I shake my head. “For my eyes.”
“I got you.” He presses a kiss to the top of my head and walks gingerly over to the kitchen.
As soon as I see him wince, I shoot to standing, about to walk to the kitchen. “Sorry, I can do it myself. You just had surgery.”
“I’m fine,” he says. “Just feel like I’ve been kicked in the nuts. It’s nothing I can’t handle.”
Bridget appears in front of me with a tumbler. “He’s fine. A bit of a baby, if you ask me.” She sets the water on the table, taking a seat on the couch as she pulls me down next to her. “Wanna talk about it?”
“Can you keep a secret from my brother?” I whisper, hoping the sound of Ethan chopping cucumbers masks my voice.
She hesitates for a second, looking at him in the kitchen, and it warms my heart knowing my big brother has someone in his corner.
“Trust me, he’s not going to want to know what I’m about to tell you.”
“Then yes, I’ll keep it a secret,” she says quietly.
Ethan walks over with a plate of cucumber slices and sets them on the table. He looks between Bridget and me for a few seconds, picking up on our conspiratorial glances at each other. “I’m gonna head back to bed. You coming, Hellcat?”
“I’ll be there in a few, Pup.”
Jeez, even their nicknames are cute.
He kisses her forehead and disappears down the hall.
I turn to Bridget once I hear the door close behind him. “I was having a sex dream, not a nightmare.”
“Holy shit!” She laughs, and I can’t help but join her. “He heard you screaming and came running out here only to wake you up from a naughty dream. Oh fuck, this is gold.”
“He’s too protective for his own good,” I say as we continue our fit of laughter. “Told you he wouldn’t want to know.”
She swipes at her eyes, and I notice how pretty they are. The deepest shade of blue with slight wrinkles around them. I’ve never had a big sister before, but I really like her, and before I know it, I’m spilling everything.
“He broke up with me.”
“Who broke up with you? The guy in the dream?”
“Yes? Maybe? I don’t know.” I blow out a breath. “I couldn’t see his face.”
“In the dream?”
I nod, trying to decide how much to share. “But also in real life.”
“What do you mean?”
“We met through a friend. He’s into a certain type of lifestyle and doesn’t like to show his face, so he always wore a mask around me.
It started last summer, and it continued throughout the school year.
We didn’t see each other a lot, but we texted and called when we couldn’t meet up because of my class schedule.
But I don’t even know his name, or what he looks like. ”
“But you were being safe, right?”
“Yes, absolutely. My friend introduced us, so he’s not some rando. And we messed around a little bit, but never went all the way. I wanted to, we just never had the opportunity. So we were safe on that front too.”
“So, you dated an unnamed masked man for a year?” I don’t hear any judgement in her tone. She’s calm, like she’s just recapping the facts.
“Yes.”
“Yeah, definitely not telling your brother any of that. He freaked out for a week when you caught us at his place. He was convinced something was going on with you and Alyx.”
“Gross, no. I love Alyx, but he’s like a brother to me.”
“And this lifestyle he was into, would that involve a certain club Alyx likes to frequent?”
I grab a cucumber and shove it in my mouth to avoid the question as I smile awkwardly.
“And this friend that introduced you is Alyx, isn’t it?”
Shoot, why did I open my mouth? I should’ve just called Ella after they went back to bed.
Bridget reaches out and places a palm on my thigh.
“You look like you could use a friend. I don’t have any sisters, and I tend to ghost the one friend I have, so I’m probably not the best person to dole out advice, but I’m here if you want to talk.”
I grab another cucumber, turning it over in my hand, my eyes fixated on it as I speak.
“It just hurts so much. I don’t know why he broke it off.
And I don’t want to bug Alyx and put him in the middle of it since he knows him too.
It just feels like there’s more to it than he was telling me.
We had something, a real connection. I have a hard time trusting men—”
“Oh, I’ve been there.”
“So you get it. It’s hard when every man I’ve shown an interest in has let me down.
Except him. He’s the first person that saw me as more than my issues.
He saw me, when I was broken, and he thought I was strong.
And I trusted him completely. So why would he walk away?
I just feel like a stupid foolish child. ”
“Emma, you’re a grown woman. A powerful, strong, kick-ass chick.
You know what’s best for you, and I’m not here to judge your choices.
And I’m certainly not going to tell Ethan that his best friend took his sister to a sex club so she could hook up with a masked man.
It is not my place to share. But you’re not the only one with secrets.
And you’re not the only one who’s felt broken.
” There’s a glint in her eye that tells me there’s something she’s not telling me.
And I can’t explain why, but it comforts me knowing that whatever skeletons she has haven’t prevented her from living her life and falling in love.
“So you don’t think I’m a freak?”
“Fuck, no. I think you’re doing the best you can in a shitty situation.
And I know what it’s like to feel like everyone’s out to get you.
I pushed everyone away for years until your brother saw me for who I really was, broken pieces and all.
He helped me put myself back together after a…
uh… shitty situation in high school. So, I get what you’re feeling. ”
“But your person stayed. He didn’t break up with you,” I cry, a tear falling down my cheek as my voice cracks.
“Believe me when I tell you that Ethan and I have overcome some shit together. It wasn’t easy, and I almost let my baggage keep us from finding our way back to each other. But maybe he just needs some time to figure things out like I did. Maybe this is a ‘see you later’ and not a goodbye.”
I drop my head back against the couch and let out a deep sigh. When I look over, Bridget is grinning at me. “That’s how I feel every day I walk into my office. A deep sigh, an eye roll, and I’m ready to deal with whatever shit men throw at me.”
“I really like you.”
“I really like you too.” She smiles. “Hey, whatever happened with that asshole professor you had?”
“Ugh, Professor A-hole. He’s the last person I want to think about right now. I’m just glad I never have to see his stupid handsome face ever again.”