Chapter 26
JOHN
Ineed to stop thinking about her. The way that she looked at me at rehearsal. The way I wanted to pull her against me and consume her, feasting on every inch of her skin.
Mary let me know about several appointments coming up that I needed to attend, and I need to focus on that, not the sexy younger woman permeating my thoughts. I’m close to the end of the deal I made with Mary, but until then, I’ve committed to following through with her whenever she needs me.
Mary
I appreciate you helping me. Thank you.
I’m happy to and you have to stop thanking me.
But you’ve given up so much. I feel like all I do is take from you.
You’re my friend, and it was literally a matter of life or death. Of course I was going to help you.
Thank you doesn’t feel like enough, rafiq.
I smile at her text. “Rafiq” means friend in Yemeni Arabic—more specifically, it’s someone you can count on. Over the past six years, I’ve picked up a few phrases from her native tongue, but this one fills me with the most pride.
Just knowing you are alive and well is enough. You and Sam deserve the world, and I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you’re safe.
If there’s anything I can ever do for you, name it.
I did want to tell you something.
Yes?
I’ve met someone.
That’s amazing!
But it’s complicated. She’s a student at my college. Not currently my student, but she was last year. I met her before I knew she was a student though.
A younger woman?
Don’t worry, I’m still focused on the plan. It won’t derail me.
I’m not worried about it. I’m happy for you.
I appreciate that. But I’m not sure how we could be together.
Seriously, John.
What?
You give so much to everyone around you, it’s time you had a little happiness for you.
There are rules at play here.
Enough with your rules.
It’s not that easy.
Will it get you fired?
Actually, no. The university only has rules prohibiting me from having a relationship with a student in my class. Everything else is frowned upon but not actionable.
Your tenure would protect you?
Yes
Then do it. Go after what you want for once.
I set my phone down and blow out a deep breath.
Could it be that easy? If Mary is okay with it and my job isn’t at risk, could I pursue her?
I’d still have to be discreet. We couldn’t be out in the open with a relationship for at least another year.
I still have commitments to honor and considering the amount of time I’ve put into this, it would be foolish to fuck it up this close to the end.
Fuck it. I deserve this. We deserve this. Now I just have to make Emma fall for me the way she has for Daddy Dom.
I need to see you.
When?
Can you come to the city tonight?
I have rehearsal till seven, but I could come after. I only have afternoon classes tomorrow.
Come to my room. Text me when you get to the club.
Yes, sir.
——————
I’m leaning against the counter when there’s a knock on my door. When I open it, Emma is alone, and I crane my neck looking for Alyx.
“He’s in his room. I came by myself.” She walks timidly into the room as I close the door behind her.
Resting my forehead against the door, I blow out a deep breath into my mask.
When I’m ready to face her, I turn and nearly lose it at the sight in front of me.
Emma has stripped down to her panties and is kneeling, her palms on her thighs as if waiting for my instruction.
A lone tear tracks down her face, and I reach out a thumb to swipe at it.
“Please, sir,” she begs, leaning into my touch.
“I didn’t say you could speak,” I say weakly. I’m running out of resolve, tired of fighting this need to claim her.
My thumb rubs along her cheekbone as her eyes flick up to me. Even though she’s silent, I can hear every plea she’s making.
I curse myself for putting her in this position, for pushing her away, because I can’t fight this pull between us anymore than she can. “What do you need, pet?”
“I need to feel your lips. You can blindfold me again. I promise I’ll be good. I just need to feel you against me.”
Against my better judgment, I acquiesce, grabbing a blindfold and leading her to the lounger.
She holds her hair back as I slip it onto her face and sit, sinking down into the deep curve, as I pull her to straddle me and lean back with her on my chest. I know this is risky, I need her to crave this from John so when she finds out who I am she doesn’t run, but I don’t give a fuck when I feel her relax into me.
“I missed you,” I admit. Her head shoots up as though she’s able to look at me, but the blindfold prevents it.
“Why?” she rasps, and I don’t need her to clarify to know what she means.
Why did I push her away? Why won’t I reveal who I am? Why can’t we be together?
“Because this is complicated.” We can’t be together yet, and I need her to understand that.
“I’ve never felt like this before. And I’ve never tolerated someone’s touch, let alone craved it.
There has to be a reason for that. It feels like fate is pulling us together, but you keep fighting it.
I can’t stop thinking about you. What’s wrong with me?
” She drops her head back to my chest, letting out a small sob against my chest.
“Absolutely nothing. You are exquisite.” I wrap my arms around her, pulling her tight against me.
“Then kiss me. Kiss me like you want me. Kiss me like we can be together. Let me pretend that while we’re in this room, this means something. That it’s as big and meaningful as it feels in my heart.”
My rule about no feelings rings loudly in my head, but I push it away. As long as we haven’t said those three words, haven’t felt those big emotions, it’s still a gray area.
Tilting my mask up, I pull her face to mine. Her lips are soft as I devour them, licking and sucking until she opens for me and our tongues meet. Euphoria crashes into me as her hand strokes my beard and she becomes pliant against me.
Nothing has ever felt more right than kissing this woman, and every reason for stopping this flies out of my head.
Her hips rock against me as we continue exploring each other’s mouths. I’ve kissed every inch of her body but her mouth so I take my time claiming her with my touch.
“I need you,” she moans as I kiss down her neck. I can feel the desperation in her voice.
“You deserve more than to have your first time in the private room of a sex club,” I growl into her ear, trying to mask my voice. “But I’ll take care of you for now.”
I slip my hand into her panties and groan at how wet she is for me. Circling her clit with my middle finger, she arches into me, pulling me close as she moans against my ear.
“Yes, right there. Please.”
I want to slam into her, or at the very least, slide my fingers in and fuck her hard, but I keep my hand in place, repeating the same motion against her clit until she’s bucking against me and crying out.
This is all I can give her right now. Stolen moments. Hiding her away when she deserves someone who is proud to be seen with her. A plan begins to form in my head, and I focus on that, determined to figure out a way around the few remaining obstacles keeping us apart.