8. Chapter Eight
Chapter Eight
Eva
THREE YEARS LATER
Sunlight suffocates me. The bright light so blinding, I refuse to open my eyes.
“Wake up, you lazy shit,” Tiff shouts from the bathroom, the melodic sounds of her humming whilst she gets ready for the day, making me relax further into my pillow.
I cannot, and do not have to listen to her.
“I said up.” She flicks back the duvet that was cocooning me.
“Urgh,” I protest, attempting to roll my eyes open as the cool air hits my skin. Nope. Not happening.
“Shouldn’t have gone to bed so late. You know how big today is.”
For you, I think to myself, immediately hating that it’s my first thought. Tiffany deserves everything she’s worked for. I peek open one eye, my hands pushing my dishevelled hair off my face. “If I don’t go to bed when I do, I get no time to myself.”
Her lips press together in a, I get it, but get the fuck up, kind of way. “Listen,” she begins, perching on the end of the bed, her fingers running some product through her hair. “I get it, I really do. But we have a weekend alone. Girl time. And sure, whilst I’m pretty sure Jamie doesn’t fully understand how hard we work, this is a chance for us to let our hair down. ”
She’s right. She may not see eye to eye with Jamie all the time, but she is bloody right. It’s my first weekend off from all duties in years. I need this. “Will you get me some coffee before I get up?”
She slaps my bare leg. “I will if you get up.” Then she stands. “You want me to run out or make some of the hotel’s cheap stuff?”
I huff under my breath. “The cheap stuff is fine.”
I finally get dressed and make myself presentable to socialise with other humans. It’s been a real effort to do anything like this for so long. I feel good about doing something different, but mentally and physically, I’m drained.
I’m wearing a thong which is eating me alive, and my boobs are squashed into a push-up bra which apparently was essential . She didn’t mean it the way it came out, but geez, kick a girl when she’s no longer body confident.
We walk arm in arm into the auditorium, seeing the backs of spectators here to listen to my friend and the other women giving their motivational speeches. “I’m so proud of you,” I tell Tiffany, as we begin to walk to where I’ll be sitting.
“Me too,” she giggles, covering her mouth with her hand.
“What?” I look up at her, my feet slowing.
“Nothing. It’s just,” she nods her head for me to keep walking, “I’m having one of those moments like, is this really my life now, you know?”
Yep. Feel them moments daily . I let out a sigh. “No one deserves this more than you. Look at how hard you worked to change things.”
She laughs and nudges me. “I know. It just doesn’t feel real.”
I smile down at a lady already sitting in her seat as I pass her, counting the numbers on the chairs. “Six, five, four. Ah, this is me.” I turn to Tiffany. “Well it’s real! And nobody helped you get here. This is all you.” I wave my hand, gesturing to the room now filling up.
“Not all me,” she blushes. “I just want to show women they’re capable of achieving anything. It’s never too late, and you’re never too old to begin living the life you truly want. ”
I look at her deadpan. Tiffany now runs her own digital marketing company and was invited to speak due to everything she has achieved in such a short amount of time. “You practising your speech on me?”
She grins at me cheekily. “Well, out of everyone here, you’re the one I want to get through to the most.” I can’t help the way my eyes mist. Tiffany notices right away. “Hey, no tears.” She runs her hand down my exposed arm.
The dress I’m wearing is a black, one shoulder, body-con dress. Not my first choice, but in line with the dress code for the lunch being hosted by the venue afterwards. “Sorry.” I dip my head, composing myself. “Probably just my hormones, what with everything going on.”
“Have you heard from your mum today?” She sits me down in my seat, taking the chair available next to the lady on my row.
I give a mild shake of my head. “Not yet. I’ll call her later.”
“Excuse me.”
Tiffany and I both turn to look at the lady speaking to us. She’s gorgeous. Elegantly sat in her gold, chiffon dress, her nails perfectly painted and pristine. “That seat’s taken.” She looks me up and down.
“Don’t worry. I’m speaking, so won’t be here long,” Tiffany replies.
The lady mutters something under her breath which doesn’t go unnoticed.
Oh Christ.
Tiffany scrunches her eyes with a mild shake of her head. “May I ask what you’re aiming to get out of today?”
The lady smiles cautiously, her eyes chancing a fiery look at me, making me stiffen. “I find businesses to invest in. That, and I’m starting my own. Wanted to get as much information as I could before I start.” She looks at me again with a strange glint in her eye. Does she think she knows me? Her long neck is distractingly dripping with diamonds. Her makeup is clearly done by an artist. The black lines are so perfectly symmetrical.
“In what field?” Tiffany asks, composed.
“Beauty,” the lady replies, resting one elbow on her arm folded across her waist.
“That’s amazing. Will you be employing other women when you get started? ”
“Of course.” She looks at Tiffany like she’s stupid, but I just know Tiffany’s about to put her in her place.
I hope you’re ready, bitch.
“Then I’ll give you some free advice.”
The lady sits a little straighter like she’s about to get her own personal speech. She is. Just not the one she’s expecting.
“When women empower each other, beautiful things begin to happen. Taking someone else’s light, doesn’t make you shine brighter, it only serves to make you look like a silly little twat.”
The lady gasps, and I do too. But mine is surrounded by a smile.
Tiffany stands, straightening her dress, her body language powerful.
I try to hide my smirk as the lady next to me stands and abruptly takes her leave.
“That told her.”
Tiffany rolls her shoulders then gives me a wink before she says, “Oh look, she finally found us.”
Jamie totters over.
“Where have you been?” I ask her as she kisses Tiffany’s cheek.
“Sorry, I got distracted at the bar.”
I look at my watch. “It’s ten in the morning.”
“I know, I know,” she stammers. “And I know I’m dating properly now, but I got distracted. Couldn’t help myself.” Jamie leans down and kisses my cheek before she sits next to me on the other side.
“You know, if you didn’t have the same taste in men as the police do, you would find yourself in better situations.”
“Ah yes, oh faithful guru.” Jamie lifts her hands as if in prayer. “Empower me.” She bows her head dramatically.
Tiffany lifts her middle finger to Jamie, making me laugh. “Right, I’m off.”
“Good luck,” Jamie says as she stands, and I can tell she means it. “You’ll smash it.” She pulls Tiffany into an embrace.
Tiffany looks at me over Jamie’s shoulder and mouths, “What the fuck?”
I smile and widen my eyes. As wild as Jamie can be, she is our longest and oldest friend. She didn’t have to come this weekend, but things have been hard for both of us since the night she came home after being sacked from her job, and dumped by her on-off boyfriend the same day.
The same night Luke ran away when we almost had sex.
I never told her what happened. She was distraught, and the more I thought about how stupid I had been to allow, not only a stranger, but a criminal into our house, I really couldn’t be sure how she would react if I told her what I’d done.
Fortunately, and unfortunately, she was too distracted with finding new work to notice how I was. So, I was there for her, even though inside I was pathetically upset and annoyingly bereft, I found the more distracted I was, the less the pain inside my chest burned.
Should have been easy considering how little I knew about him. But the way he called me his little warrior. The way he commanded my body without knowing how smoking hot he was. The way he was so blissfully unaware of how happy he made me feel…
“Earth to Eva,” Tiffany says, forcing my mind to make it back into the room. “Make sure you’re listening.” With another wink, she leaves, and me and Jamie settle into our seats.
We listen to a few women speak before Tiffany makes it onto the stage. Cheering and cupping my hands either side of my mouth, I whoop and make sure she knows how proud of her we are.
The lady next to us returned as the first speaker walked out, but the seat beside her remains empty. I give her a look, and when she turns to me, I quickly look away, still clapping my hands as Tiffany taps the microphone in front of her. She smiles at me, then begins her speech. The one I wasn’t allowed to hear before now.
I’m already crying when she tells everyone where she came from and her days working in the bar. I say hers, because although she always said it would be me who left there first, it was in fact her.
I’m now the one working every hour that fits in with the men in my life. My dreams came to an immediate halt two-and-a-half years ago. I tried to continue pushing for them, but there comes a point when burnout simply takes over.
I don’t want to work in the bar for the rest of my life. It’s bloody depressing. But it’s what I need to do to make sure I’m close to home when I’m needed .
Pulling my train of thought, a member of staff walks along the row me and Jamie are sitting on, looking at all the seats. He checks the number on the empty one separating me and the lady in the gold dress, then his eyes find mine. “Excuse me, Miss?”
I look at the lady when she turns her head to see what’s happening. “Yes?”
“May I see your ticket?”
“My ticket?”
“Yes, Miss,” he says quietly but confidently.
I reach into my clutch and pull out my ticket.
“What’s going on?” Jamie whispers.
I shrug as Tiffany continues to talk to the audience.
The guy shines a small torch on my ticket. “I’m sorry, Miss. But this isn’t your seat.”
“Not my seat?”
“Shh,” someone from behind angrily sounds.
I’m angry too. I don’t want to miss Tiffany’s time to shine.
“If you could come with me, we can take a closer look at the confusion without disrupting the speakers.”
“She’s her friend,” Jamie jumps in. “We know the woman talking right now.”
He shakes his head having none of it. “I’m sorry, but I have a job to do. Miss, please come with me and we can direct you to where you should be sitting.”
“I’m sitting where I should be,” I protest, feeling my cheeks turning pink. I quickly look around feeling eyes burning into me.
“I have to insist.” He steps back, blocking a few people’s view.
I hear them mumble and moan about me, so I stand with haste, walking as quickly as I can with my head down, mostly so that Tiffany doesn’t see me being escorted out, and so as not to catch the evil glares I’m getting.
I begin sweating as I walk out of the auditorium. Heat floods my face, and my legs begin to shake with embarrassment.
“If you could wait here, Miss, I’ll check your ticket.”
Watching him walk behind the desk, he begins looking at the computer in front of him. I think about walking over when my phone rings.
“Mum? ”
“Hi, sweetheart.”
“Everything okay?” I turn and lean against the wall, trying to steady my racing heart.
“Yes, everything’s fine. Are you okay?”
My phone rattles against the dangling earring I have in. “I guess.”
“You guess?” I hear her moving to sit down.
“Tiffany’s making her speech right now but I just got kicked out,” I say on a rush of breath.
“Oh goodness, I completely forgot! Kicked out? What did you do?” I hear amusement in her voice.
“Nothing,” I blast at her, hearing her laugh. I look up at the man still looking at the computer.
He looks up through his lashes, then looks at a gentleman whose back is to me.
“You don’t just get kicked out for no reason. Come on, tell me, make my day.”
Shit. Is today a bad one? “Seriously. Apparently I wasn’t sat in the correct seat so I was escorted outside.”
Mum explodes with laughter. I mean, it’s kind of funny, but not that funny.
“Mum? What’s going on?”
She catches her breath. “Nothing, sweetheart. It’s funny. Maybe Tiffany’s pulling a prank on you or something?”
No. She wouldn’t. “Doubt it. It’s just the poor organisation, ” I say loudly, hoping the man behind the desk can hear me. “Anyway, how is he?”
“Dad’s good. He has his paints out and he remembered me today.” She sobs, but it’s happy. Him remembering means it’s a good day.
My eyes fill with water. “Oh, Mum. What did he say? Tell me.” I move to one of the sofas in the reception area, tugging down my dress as I attempt to sit and ignore the way my thong eats more of my arse at the same time.
“He recalled our first kiss, down to the very last detail.”
I shift back in the seat, swiping my eye. Their first kiss was as the sun was setting underneath the Eiffel Tower. They met in Paris while they were both travelling and declared their love for each other. It was there that Dad says his love for painting moments of perfection started. Before his dementia really began to steal him from us, we used to paint together. Still do, occasionally.
He always paints the moments he loved the most. “Mum.”
“I’m okay.” She sniffs. “Now, before I forget, Ben called me.”
My head falls into my hand. Here we go again. “What did he want?”
“He asked if I could have Liam for him.”
“He what?” Anger overtakes the calm I felt seconds ago. “When was this?”
“About an hour ago.”
I look at my watch. Ben had Liam for one night before he caved and called my mum for help. “What did you say?”
She takes a breath. “I said he couldn’t drop Liam here until after lunch.”
“Mum—”
“I’m sorry,” she sighs. “What would you have me do? Leave Liam with him to entertain himself?”
When she says it like that, I feel awful. “I suppose not, no.”
“I did as you asked and made sure he couldn’t bail right away. I’ve got Laura coming in at one. She can take Dad for a walk after the Formula One has finished whilst I have Liam. We’ll be fine. You enjoy yourself.”
“How can I now?”
“What do you mean? Liam will be fine here with me.”
I rub my forehead. “I don’t mean about Liam. What about you? This is too much for you, Mum.” I curse Ben under my breath for doing this to her.
“Eva, today is a good day. I’ll be fine, I can do this. I’ll take him for a play in the park and I asked Ben to pack Bingo.”
I smile inwardly. That’s his favourite teddy bear my mum bought for him.
“I’ve got my book as well, so when he naps, I can get stuck into that.”
I fill my lungs with air, loving and hating the situation. Liam will have a much better time with my mum and all the things she plans for him. I just wish his dad gave more of a shit. “Which book are you reading?”
“The Special One.”
“Oh, nice. Miller Hart is bound to make you smile.”
“What are you picking next? ”
Mum and I like to read the same books and talk about them. Gives us something other than life to focus on. “I don’t know. I’m thinking a reread. Stick with what I know.”
“Don’t dive down the Jesse hole. You know it takes you ages to get over it.”
“I’ll never be over it.”
“Exactly,” she laughs. “What about a bit of humour?”
“Yeah, humour would be good. But I don’t know… I just want something, wholesome.”
“Oh, love, read Ryan from Leave Me Breathless. You can borrow my copy when you pick Liam up tomorrow.”
“Are you sure?”
“As long as you don’t break the spine, then yes, I’m sure.”
I laugh. “I meant about Liam. Are you sure you’re sure?”
“I’m sure. Now go. I’ll let you know when Ben has dropped him off. Enjoy your night. Love you lots like jelly tots.”
Rubbing a hand to my chest, my heart feels so heavy. I love her so much. I wish I could give her everything she deserves. “Love you, Mum.”
“Love you more, sweetheart.”
Pressing the end call button, I slump back and contemplate texting Ben some shitty message. I always hold it in and he gets away with it time and time again.
Fuck it.
What have I got to lose?
I lean forward, my eyes to the floor, looking at my phone as I let Ben know what a knob I think he is.
Two polished black shoes make it into my line of vision.
“I hope you’re here to take me back to my seat?” I say, if not a little rudely. I keep my eyes down as I keep typing my message.
“It would be my pleasure.”
My fingers freeze on the screen.
My blood turns ice-cold.