3. Blue Clear Sky
Chapter three
Blue Clear Sky
Hux
T here was some shit—well, okay, a lotta shit—that sucked about losing your vision. There was the obvious, like, not being able to see, or do shit I normally could do with ease, but every now and then, something interesting came out of going blind.
My other senses became stronger, heightened in a way. Food had the chance to taste like fuckin’ heaven or complete ass. I could smell now like a damn bloodhound. My sense of touch and sound were heightened as well.
Maybe that’s why I heard her singing.
If I hadn’t gotten hurt, if I hadn’t spent the past three years navigating blindly through my shitty excuse of a life, I’d probably not even have picked up on her hushed singing. It’s not like she was the next Faith Hill or Martina McBride—not that she was a bad singer—no, there was something soft and warm about her voice. Something that drew me in, clutched at my heart and squeezed gently. Nothing had gotten to me on such a deep level in a long, long damn time.
She was an aisle over, by the sound of it. Which meant…she was in the beer and wine section. She continued her soft singing. I wondered if she knew others were listening and simply didn’t care? Or would she clam up and shut down if I said something?
Like a moth to a flame, I found myself slowly making my way over there. It’d taken me a long time to figure out the layout of this store. It didn’t help that I refused to use a cane, but my spacial awareness had gotten better. It was weird, but I could sense where the shelves were without even reaching out to touch them if I focused hard enough.
She was still singing as I rounded the corner and slowly made my way down the next aisle. I wondered what she looked like. She sounded young, but voices could be deceiving—I’d learned. Thinking of her voice filled me with a sense of warmth. A warmth that grew and spread the closer I got to her, until I was close enough that I felt her presence. The heat of her body radiated out toward me.
I was so close I could reach out and touch her. Then what? She’d probably think I was a crazy person for being so close. And I didn’t want her to stop singing just yet.
But what I wanted didn’t matter in the end.
The air shifted before me, a wave of her perfume drifting to my nose—something citrusy, maybe lemongrass mixed with some softer notes, like vanilla. She smelled nice. Really nice.
Fuck, there was no doubt about it, I seemed crazy.
I heard her sharp inhale of breath, before she squeaked out. “H-hi…”
My words lodged in my throat. What the hell did I say to her? “Hi, miss. I heard you singin’ so I followed the sound of your voice just to tell you that.”
Yeah, right. She’d definitely think I was crazy.
Her panicked, high pitched words hit me before I could respond, “Sorry about that. Have a nice day.”
The air moved once more, sending more of her perfume my way as the sound of her scuffling feet retreated down the aisle.
Well, what do you know, dickhead…you scared her away .
And I’d likely never see her—well, run into her again. I wouldn’t know what she looked like even if I did miraculously get my vision back right now.
Something panged in my chest. Regret.
It’d been a while since I’d felt so drawn to something. Most days were all about routine. Same shit. Different day. Wake up. Work. Eat. Sleep. Then start the whole monotonous process all over again. It was a fucking drag. All the days just bleeding into one.
But that was life now.
Then this mystery girl—woman—showed up and sparked something where there’d been nothing.
My feet began moving before I fully knew what I was doing, this sense of urgency, of desperation, rising in my chest.
Was it pathetic that I wanted to find her? That I had this crazy longing, this need to know who she was? I didn’t know my mystery girl from Eve. Didn’t know if she was married, or single, or nice, or anything like that. But I liked that, for one moment, in her presence, my life didn’t seem so dark.
I managed to get myself to the main aisleway, but with each step, my heart sank further and further. I was familiar with loss, and this sure as hell felt like a loss.
With a huff of disappointment, I made my way to my usual checkout stand. It was Saturday, so that meant… “Hi there, Miss Laura,” I said, feeling around for the conveyor belt to put my basket on.
The older woman’s voice was raspy. “Well, if it isn’t my favorite, handsome cowboy. How are ya doin’, sweetie?”
I shrugged. “You know, same ol’ same ol’—”A thought came to mind, my words falling away for a moment. “Actually, have you seen someone runnin’ through the store? A woman… She sounded younger. Had a pretty voice. She smelled like lemongrass and vanilla.”
Frustration surged in me. How pathetic did I sound? Fuck, I hated this. I hated that I couldn’t see what she looked like. Or at least gotten her name. Why had she run away?
“Hmm… I’m sorry, sweetie. I didn’t. Did you need somethin’ from her?”
I blew out a sigh, reaching a hand into my back pocket to grab my wallet. “Nah, it’s not important. How much do I owe ya, today?”
For a minute, the only sound between us was that of her ringing up my few things. A six pack of beer off the third shelf, exactly fifteen steps into the beer aisle. A loaf of potato bread—hopefully. They’d gotten a new stocker, and sometimes they switched around the bread on me. And more peanut butter. About twenty steps down from the bread and on the second shelf down.
“That’ll be fifteen dollars and seventy-five cents—you sure you’re okay, sweetie?”
I forced a smile to my lips, wondering if it came off as more of a grimace than anything else. “All good, Miss Laura,” I replied, handing her my debit card.
Remnants of the girl’s warm, buttery voice echoed through my mind, my goddamn soul as the old woman bagged up my things and sent me on my way. I worked my way toward the left exit, closest to the grocery section, going slow enough to hear and gauge where others were at around me as I walked. I’d gotten pretty good at avoiding running into people. Either that, or something in my demeanor, or the expression on my face, kept people away.
Heat blasted into me and the darkness turned warmer as I was greeted by the scorching heat of the Texas sun. I whistled, and felt something brush against my right leg a moment later. Toenails clicked on the ground beside me. “Good boy, Rusty. See anythin’ interestin’?”
My Kelpie didn’t respond, but I didn’t expect him to. He set his pace to match mine as we walked the fifty three paces I’d counted out when I’d gotten out of my friend and fellow coworker, Travis’ truck. I reached out and found the corner of his tailgate and skirted around to the passenger side, feeling my way for the door. I blew out an annoyed groan when I found it locked. Damn, I should have waited inside.
“I’m here! I’m here!” Travis’ familiar voice cut through the parking lot over the sound of cars and trucks. “Sorry, man! I was talkin’ to this girl. Goddamn, was she hot.”
Something tightened in my chest. “What did she sound like? Did she have a nice voice?”
“Um…I—” Travis stammered over his words as he unlocked the truck, the sound of the locks shifting. I opened the door and whistled for Rusty to hop in before I followed behind. Travis’ voice sounded far away for a moment before rising in volume as the truck shifted and he settled in the driver’s seat. “I don’t know. I mean, I guess she had a nice voice. It was kinda…smoky. She definitely ain’t from here. I didn’t recognize the area code at all when she gave me her number.”
Even as excitement sparked, an answering wave of disappointment washed over me. If Travis had gotten her number then it didn’t matter. I didn’t know what Travis looked like, but he didn’t seem to have any problems picking up girls. “Did she smell like vanilla and lemongrass?”
“I don’t fuckin’ know, man. I wasn’t smellin’ her. Why all the questions?” A defensiveness lingered in his words.
“I ran into a girl in there and, uh, was wonderin’ if it was the same one you were talkin’ to.”
“Oh.” Travis’ voice softened, interest replacing the defensive edge. “Well, what did she look like?”
I rolled my eyes, a huff of laughter escaping me. Travis and I had worked together for going on almost a year now, and the kid still forgot I was blind most days. I mean, in the end I couldn’t really blame him. He wasn’t the only one to forget. I preferred that though than people going out of their way to coddle me. I didn’t need coddling. Didn’t need handouts. I could work, and ride a horse, and hold my own fine enough.
“I don’t even know what you look like, dumbass. How the fuck am I supposed to tell you about her?”
Travis chuckled one of those goofy, low-pitched laughs I’d come to expect from him. “Oh, shit. I forgot, man. I’m sorry.”
I snorted, rolling my eyes. “It’s fine. So, this girl you met… Did she seem like she was in a rush? I don’t know, maybe embarrassed?”
I hoped that it wasn’t the same girl I’d met. I didn’t want to smell her perfume or hear her soft, warm voice again and know that she wasn’t around because of me, but for Travis.
“Nah, this girl wasn’t goin’ anywhere fast, that’s for damn sure.”
A trickle of relief settled over me. Not that I’d probably ever see my mystery girl again. But still. “So, you said the girl you were talkin’ to is from out of town?”
“Out of state, actually. She’s here with her friend, visiting the girl’s family, I guess.” Travis’ words floated over the sound of the engine rumbling to life. I felt the vibrations as the truck shifted into reverse. I clutched my bag in my lap, while petting Rusty with my free hand. His warm breath fanned against my leg as he panted at my feet.
“Nice. You gonna see her again?”
“I think so,” he replied. “She told me to text her later, see what they were up to. Hey—” Something—correction—Travis’ hand smacked against my shoulder. Not hard enough to hurt, but enough to startle me a bit. His words took on an excited edge. “Maybe her friend’s the girl you were talkin’ to!”
I nodded. “Yeah, maybe.”
But I wasn’t holding my breath. The world was small, but it wasn’t that small.