All I Want for Christmas is a Hitman (Holiday With a Hitman #3)

Chapter 1

Drama? Nah, it’s just a llama making a scene.

Groaning, Hudson opened his eyes as the most annoying alarm clock sounded nearby, over and over. Wait, what the fuck? That wasn’t an alarm clock.

But there was…a llama staring at him through the open window? Or alpaca? No, the beast was huge, had to be a llama. It was bleating or something. Ugh.

Was this hell?

“Oh Jesus, this is it,” he muttered as he tried to move his arms. Then realized he was tied to a bedpost.

He was also wearing pajama pants covered in llamas that were way too tight.

The llama bleated again. Or whatever the hell sound it was a llama made, but that fuzzy-headed thing was pissed as it leaned its long neck farther through the window and shook its head at him.

It wanted to bite him. He could tell.

“If this isn’t hell, I’m guessing it’s close.” Blinking away the sleep, he shook his head once, then froze at the throb of pain at the back of his skull.

Clearly someone had ambushed him. Then, what? Tied him up after dressing him in whatever this nonsense was?

He went very still as he looked around the bedroom, trying to ignore the stink eye from the llama, who looked like it was moments away from climbing through the window and attacking him.

The animal looked mostly cream-colored with brown ears and a brown patch over one eye.

For some reason the patch of color made the thing look more menacing.

The bedroom was clean, with three windows and a lot of natural light. A handful of black-and-white photos of llamas hung on one of the pale cream walls.

Only a psychopath loved llamas that much.

What he could see of the black-framed bed made him think it was antique. He tried moving his arms again, realized he had a lot more give than he’d thought. Whoever had tied him up had done a piss-poor job. And they were going to regret the day they’d jumped him.

They should have just killed him and been done with it.

Too bad for them.

He slowly twisted his left wrist, because the llama-themed bungee cord tie was the loosest, but then paused when he heard a thump in another room.

Since he wasn’t dead, he figured someone had some use for him. Probably an old enemy who wanted to torture him. That was fine. He’d gotten out of way worse situations than this. And he’d been tortured before. He’d survive.

Closing his eyes, he went still, steadied his breathing and slowed his heart rate in the way he’d been trained.

There were more thumps, softer now, then the bedroom door creaked open.

The llama made that god-awful racket again.

“I know you’re awake. Lucy alerted me,” a low, sexy purr said.

Oh, he definitely wanted to see the face that went with that voice. He opened his eyes and froze. Blinked.

This wasn’t hell, it was heaven.

A dark-haired woman was standing in the doorway wearing dark purple overalls covered in a daisy print with a long-sleeved, skintight T-shirt underneath. She was dusty, her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and she was watching him warily.

But her eyes… He could drown in those. They were a bluish-green that reminded him of the water in the Bahamas. One of his favorite places to relax.

Suddenly being tied up wasn’t so bad after all. Maybe she would sit on his face? Hmm.

“Listen, I don’t know what you’re into, but I don’t want any part of it,” she said into the quiet.

“Part of what?” He winced again at the throb against his skull. “And why did you tie me up?”

She narrowed her gaze at him, then lifted a small duffel bag he recognized. “I tied you up because you’re trespassing on my land—and I don’t know many people who carry around a bag of weapons and stacks of cash. It’s clear you’re running drugs or something.”

To be fair, it was only two pistols and about fifty grand. His real stash was back in his motor home a few miles away in a hidden compartment. Even if someone stole it, they’d never find his stash. Not without some serious welding work.

Now everything was coming back to him. He’d stopped in this little Florida farming town on the way to Miami because a friend had told him about a man he needed to talk to. The guy made custom rifles and blades and he needed some new ones.

“I don’t trust banks,” he muttered. Which was only partially a lie. He had multiple accounts. Including some offshore. Everyone in his line of work did. And under various aliases. He also had cash and art stashed away in different places. “And it’s just two pistols.”

She sniffed slightly, then shot a glance at the beast still watching him from the window.

“Where are my clothes?” he asked when she didn’t say anything else.

“Oh…” Something that looked a whole lot like guilt flickered across her expression. “Lucy gnawed on your shirt and the bottom of your pants.”

“Who is Lucy?”

The llama bleated.

His gaze shot back to the evil animal eyeing him from the window. “You’re a girl?”

She bleated again.

Figured. He closed his eyes. “Look, I was just passing through town. Can you let me go and I’ll forget this ever happened?”

“Of course I’m going to let you go. I’m not a weirdo who abducts people.”

“To be fair, I wouldn’t mind if you abducted me.”

Oh shit, had he said that out loud? When he opened his eyes, it was to find her watching him with wide eyes. Yep, he’d said it out loud. She must have hit him harder than he’d thought.

The woman shook her head. “Listen. I’m going to untie you, but I’m holding a weapon on you until you’re off my property. Then I’ll give you your bag and you can be on your way. Got it?” She seemed like she was trying to be firm, but the way her voice shook gave her away.

She was in no danger from him. If her satanic pet tried anything, however… “Fine. Do you have any clothes other than llama pajamas for me to wear?”

She bit her full bottom lip, and he immediately wondered what she’d taste like.

“I think I’ve got something that’ll fit you.”

“Your husband’s clothes?”

She started to shake her head, but then said, “Yep. He’s on his way back and you don’t want to be here when he gets here. He’s mean and big… Bigger than you.”

Sweet Santa, she was a terrible liar.

She slung his bag on her shoulder, then pulled out a rifle from behind the wall of the open doorway and trained it on him. “So you understand what’s going to happen, right?”

“Yep. You’re gonna let me go, then once I’m off your property you’ll give me my bag.”

“Exactly. I’ll ride my ATV and you can walk out to… Wherever you came from.” Her gaze narrowed again, but then she nodded, clearly more to herself than him. “Okay, we’re on the same page. But no sudden moves.”

Before he could respond to this ridiculousness, Lucy ducked out of the window and started bleating wildly, the sound fading as she ran away from the house.

The woman—whose name he still needed to know—cursed under her breath, then dropped his bag. She pointed at him. “I’ll be right back!” Then she ran off, rifle in hand.

When he heard a door slam, he worked on getting the left tie free. Once that was done, he had his other wrist, then ankles, free in less than twenty seconds. He really did need to show her how to properly secure someone because this was pathetic.

Multiple bleats were coming from somewhere in the distance and he hated the weird feeling swelling up inside him. The one that told him to go after the gorgeous woman in the overalls instead of grabbing his shit and ducking out the back door. He didn’t have time for whatever this place was.

But…he wasn’t just walking away before finding out more about the gorgeous woman. He was ninety-nine percent sure she wasn’t a threat so that wasn’t the reason he was staying.

Sighing at the fact that she’d just left the duffel bag, he pulled out both weapons.

No clothes that would fit him, but he found an old puffer coat in the closet by the front door and a pair of boots that would fit.

He also saw that she’d left her laptop open on the kitchen countertop and was creating an ad for a temporary farmhand.

Interesting.

After a quick peek outside to see that he was being held hostage-ish on a farm of sorts, he hurried out onto the front porch and followed the shouts to a nearby dark green and brown barn.

Adrenaline spiked, and he cautiously peered around the corner of the barn.

Instantly, a protective instinct usually kept on lockdown surged to the surface when he spotted two large men standing in front of his kidnapper, clearly trying to intimidate her. One was leaning down over her, while the other took another menacing step closer.

Hell. No.

He’d take these assholes down wearing these dumb llama pants any day.

He scanned the surrounding area, didn’t see any more threats, and moved into action.

“Back the fuck up!” he snarled as he stalked toward the three of them, raising one pistol. He kept the other one tucked away and out of sight.

The men’s eyes widened, and they both took steps back.

Hudson didn’t look at her—he really needed to learn her name—because he didn’t trust himself not to get lost in those eyes. All his focus had to be on these two jerks.

The older of the two glared at him. “Who the hell—”

“Nope.” He shook his head as he reached her side. Then he stepped up so that he was blocking her from both of them. “I’m not answering your questions. Until you learn to talk to her with respect, you can get the hell out of here.”

The older man was clearly the one in charge if his body language was any indication. His jaw clenched as his gaze fell to Hudson’s pistol. Then he looked past Hudson at the woman, his eyes narrowing. “I just wanted to talk. You didn’t have to turn this into something ugly.”

Hudson stepped fully in front of her now so the men couldn’t see her at all. “Leave. Now,” he growled in his most menacing voice.

Behind him, he heard more than one llama racing up to them, bleating like crazy. He vaguely remembered that sound before he’d been knocked out but tucked that thought away. His head was still pounding, but he stood his ground as the two men got back onto their ATV and zoomed off.

“You okay?” he asked as the men kicked up dirt in their escape.

When he turned, he found her with her hands in the air, staring at him with those gorgeous eyes.

Sighing, he lowered his weapon. “I’m not going to shoot you,” he muttered. “But I can’t tuck these into the most ridiculous pajama pants that ever existed.” They were also riding up his butt, which felt awesome. Oh wait, no. No, it did not.

She lowered her own hands, but still kept a cautious eye on him. Lucy was on one side of her and another slightly less deranged-looking llama was on the other side. That llama was a mishmash of cream and brown too, but looked as if it had been put together with spare body parts.

“What’s your name?” he asked, because he couldn’t go another second without the answer.

She paused, then said, “Scout.”

He blinked. That wasn’t what he’d been expecting, but he liked it. “I’m Hudson. And I don’t run drugs or whatever you seem to think. Someone told me that I might find work around here, that’s all. I must have gotten turned around.”

She batted at some stray strands of her dark hair as she eyed him in clear distrust. Now that they were in the sunlight, he realized her hair wasn’t a simple brown.

Shots of a rich caramel and auburn streaked all through her hair, and oh, he wanted to run his hands through the thick tresses, cup the back of her head and claim that pouty mouth.

“Oh, right…” She bit her bottom lip again and he had to bite back a groan.

Maybe he’d been hit on the head harder than he’d realized. Hell, maybe he had a concussion, because he’d never reacted to a woman like this before.

“I haven’t even got my ad up yet, but I told Mae down at the diner…” She sighed. “You want to go talk inside? Maybe have some coffee?”

“I’d love that… I would also love some pants.”

She snickered slightly, then snapped her mouth shut. “Sorry, that’s not funny.”

“It’s a little funny,” he muttered, making her smile. “Who were those assholes hassling you anyway? Do we need to worry about them coming back?”

“Neighbors…and probably.” She winced again, but didn’t expand as they stalked back to her two-story home that he now realized was a lot bigger than he’d thought.

“Did you hit me in the back of the head with a shovel?” he murmured. “Also, do you have some Tylenol?”

“That wasn’t me… Lucy knocked you out.” And Scout only looked a little guilty about that.

“A llama knocked me out?” He turned around to find Lucy and her companion trotting after them.

Lucy spit at him.

“Lucy!” Scout didn’t turn around, but her exasperation sounded like an age-old thing. “Be nice.”

Lucy glared at him with pure hatred and spat at him again.