THIRTY-ONE
CHAPTER
Graduation morning was bleak, the sky stretching flat and grey over Vegas.
No storms were predicted, but the air felt tight and tense, full of lightning about to strike.
My stomach, on the other hand, was a tornado warning.
The day stretched out like an ordeal. First the ceremony to get through.
Then dinner and small talk at my parents’ place. And then…
I scowled at the mirror, tying my tie for the third time. It was amber-colored, to go with my dark gray suit with a vest. I fucking hated suits. What the hell was the point wearing one today, when I’d have the cap and gown over it anyway?
The coil of nerves in my stomach ratcheted up to a full-blown roll when I heard a knock at the front door.
“Don’t look beautiful,” I mumbled. “Don’t look beautiful, don’t look…”
I opened the door.
Beautiful .
She wore a silky maroon dress. High neck, puffy sleeves, draping over her lithe body and stopping mid-thigh to reveal the bottom of the sugar skull tattoo.
Black platform sandals with high heels and a t-strap made her legs go up to forever.
Her lips were painted red, her hair piled on her head.
The black silk flower from Dena’s wedding tucked behind her ear.
Jesus Christ, I’m a dead man.
“Hi to you too,” she said, her eyes sweeping over me. “Wow, Teddy…You look…stunning.”
Fine. Wearing a suit once in a while wasn’t too bad.
She cocked her head. “Can I come in?”
I stepped aside and the sweet scent of her perfume filled my nose, making my eyes fall shut.
“Are you nervous?” she asked, setting her bag against the kitchen counter.
“Not especially,” I said, battling with my tie again. I wasn’t nervous at all about being handed a piece of paper by the Dean of the business school. Having Kacey in my presence in front of my parents all day was another story.
“You sure about that?” She laughed.
“Positive.”
“Don’t fuss with the knot. You’re making it crooked.”
She turned me toward her and gave my tie a little jerk left, then right.
“Perfect.” Her hand brushed down my lapel, then rested on my chest for half a heartbeat.
I looked down at her. Her eyes widened. She ran the tip of her tongue along her bottom lip, then bit it.
I could taste our kiss. It roared into my mouth, the memory of soft lips, a sweet taste and how she moaned softly into my throat…
All I had to do was bend my head a little and we’d kiss again.
She swallowed and quickly moved away. “I got you something. A graduation present.”
She rummaged in her a bag and pulled out a small box wrapped in red paper and tied with a purple bow.
“You didn’t have to,” I said.
“I wanted to. Open it.”
I tore off the giftwrap and opened the box.
A silver watch gleamed against its gray velvet holder.
Clear crystal covered a large face with Roman numerals circling the perimeter.
A smaller face was almost camouflaged amid gold and steel gears.
It was solid and handsome. Obviously hand-crafted. And expensive.
I stared at it for a moment, touched the thick leather band, then shook my head. “I can’t. It’s too much.”
“Too much what?” she said, smiling as she took it out of the box. “It’s a manly watch to fit your manly muscles.” She laid it over my left wrist and buckled it, her fingers brushing the inside of my wrist like feathers. “Do you see how it has two faces?”
“Yeah,” I said, looking down at her head that was bent over my wrist.
“I had the small face set to New Orleans time.” She touched her chin to her shoulder and smiled, not quite looking at me. “It’s only a two-hour difference. But you’ll always know what time it is where I am.”
She looked up at me, and I saw my reflection in the strange blue of her eyes: a dumbstruck idiot wanting to kiss her again. Fuck the consequences.
“Do you like it?” she asked, almost a whisper.
“I love it.”
“I’m glad.”
Her chin tilted up higher, her lips parting for me. “Teddy…”
“My parents will be here any minute,” I said, my head sinking toward hers.
“And we haven’t talked yet.” Her eyes were on my mouth. “We’re talking, not kissing. Remember?”
I moved in. “Fuck talking.”
She gasped a little as my lips brushed hers.
I pressed in, hard and demanding, groaning at the sweet taste of her on my tongue.
She let loose a little cry into my mouth, and fell back against the front door, her hands carving through my hair.
I kissed her deep, the fire between us flaring up fast. I whispered her name as my hands slid down her back, over the silky material of her dress, down to the hem.
One hand pinning her to the door, the other gliding up her thigh until my fingers brushed the lacy edge of her panties.
She tilted her hips toward me, like an offering, her hands clutching my ass, keeping me tight to her.
The doorbell rang.
“Knock, knock,” my mother called from outside. “Theo, dear? We’ll be late.”
Kacey jerked away from me, cheeks flushed and eyes bright as she smoothed her dress back into place. Murmuring, “Shit, shit, shit,” and re-pinned the flower that was hanging by her chin.
My erection had fled at the sound of my mother’s voice. I tugged trousers and jacket and put my hair back where it belonged.
“Your lipstick is smeared,” I said.
She swiped the back of her hand beneath her lower lip. “Gone?”
“Gone.”
“You have some too.”
I brushed the back of my hand over my mouth as my mother knocked. “Theo? Are you there?”
“Let me get it,” Kacey said, smoothing her skirt down and taking a deep breath. She squared her shoulders and opened the front door. “Beverly. Hi.”
“Kacey, dear.” My mom’s smile was tilted with surprise and confusion. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”
Kacey gave her a big hug. “I just arrived. Literally five minutes ago. I thought I could catch a ride with you guys, if that’s okay.”
“Of course it’s okay,” Dad said, stepping inside. He bent to give Kacey a hug. “Good to see you, sweetheart. How are things in the Big Easy?”
Kacey chatted with Dad while my mom came over to kiss my cheek.
“Wonderful she’s here, isn’t it?” she said, her expression still dazed. “She’s part of the family, after all.”
“She is,” I muttered.
“Masters in Business.” My mom sighed, shaking her head. “I’m so proud of you.” She patted my cheek. “And I know Jonah would be too.”
I coughed to loosen the sudden tightness in my chest. “Thanks, Ma.”
Mom’s brows came together. “You have a little something…” She reached toward my chin. I reared back, swiping thumb and index finger down the corners of my mouth, then jamming that hand in my pocket.
“We should get going.”
My mother’s eyes widened, flicked to Kacey’s painted mouth, then back to me. “Yes,” she said, smiling brightly and looking around as if she’d lost her purse, which was on her shoulder. “Yes, let’s go before the parking gets too bad.”
My phone chimed a text and I grabbed it from my pocket. “It’s Oscar,” I said too loudly. “He and Dena will meet us at the T & M.”
“Wonderful.” My mother tucked her arm in Kacey’s. “Shall we?”
She kept Kacey close as we walked down to the parking lot. “Let’s all drive together,” she said. “Men up front, girls in the back. I haven’t seen Kacey in so long.”
Kacey’s eyes met mine as she slid into the back seat of Dad’s Chrysler sedan. The electric blue of her eyes when I kissed her was gone, replaced by a wide-eyed panic. A ‘what are we doing?’ kind of look that echoed my feelings exactly.
What are we doing? What am I doing? Tearing apart my mother’s memories so I can have what I want?
The UNLV Thomas & Mack Center was a small, enclosed stadium that looked better suited to hosting rowdy basketball games than sedate ceremonies. The parking lot was little less than halfway full. My mother kept her arm locked with Kacey’s the entire time.
I got the subtext: Kacey had been Jonah’s, and now she was hers. Not mine. Her daughter-in-law, even if there was never going to be a wedding.
Pain compressed my chest as I walked ahead of the three of them, not in line with them.
It was all well and good to steal a kiss in New Orleans or behind closed doors, but the reality of what it would mean for Kacey and I—if there was such a thing—crashed in hard.
My mother would probably never accept it and how could I blame her?
Who the hell was I to think it would be okay to go after my dead brother’s girlfriend?
The love of his life. Never mind that he fucking told me to.
Jonah hadn’t seen how impossible it was on every angle. No matter how I looked at it, from anyone’s perspective, it was selfish and wrong.
Isn’t it?
I looked back over at Kacey, looking stunning and vibrant, wedged between my parents, and a pathetic fantasy tried to take root in my mind.
She was their daughter-in-law. Because of me.
And when I bent to kiss my wife, my mother wiped the smudge of Kacey’s lipstick off for me, her eyes filled with teasing affection, not tears.