CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
JACKIE
Jackie’s car had been on bullshit… per usual.
She and Fat Daddy had been the first ones at the field that morning, and honestly, it was a miracle they even made it. Today was Fat Daddy’s first Pop Warner practice, and her baby was excited.
It was all he’d talked about all week. He even tried to sleep in his little uniform, but Jackie woke him up and made him change into pajamas.
Fat Daddy had worked so hard to improve his behavior, follow directions, and finally earn his way on the team.
And there was no way they were missing it because of some dumb-ass car.
Luckily for Jackie, her drunk-ass neighbor Juan Carlos was up bright and early, posted on his porch with his morning Steel Reserve.
Jackie had been outside since before the sun came up, fighting with her car and trying to get it to start.
She’d already dumped antifreeze, water, and the last little bit of patience she had under the hood.
She was just about to throw in the towel when Juan finally stumbled his drunk ass across the street to see what was going on with her car today.
Now Juan was far from a professional. But in North Philly, he was that nigga you called to look under your hood.
Juan stayed with half a cigarette tucked behind his ear, and this morning he had his Steel Reserve in his hand like it was an iced coffee from Dunkin.
’ Juan popped the hood, leaned in, then shook his head slow.
“Aye, mami… you goin’ far?” he asked. “Why?” Jackie shot back, already knowing she wasn’t gonna like the answer.
Juan took another sip, rolled his eyes, and wiped his hands on his jeans.
“’Cause you car in bad shape,” he said in that thick Puerto Rican accent of his.
“You take it too far, that shit gon’ cut off on you again.
” Jackie let out a long, tired sigh and stared at the car like it had personally betrayed her.
“Juan, I can’t miss this boy’s practice,” she said, voice low, like she was talking to herself as much as him.
Juan shrugged, took another pull from his cigarette, and nodded toward the street like he was giving her directions to her own fate.
“Then you better say a prayer, leave now, and don’t stop nowhere.”
Jackie and Fat Daddy arrived at the field a little after 8:30 AM.
The field was in the far Northeast, and they were damn near three hours early, but Jackie didn’t care.
She took Juan’s warning seriously. So serious she didn’t even stop to grab Fat Daddy breakfast. That alone told her what kind of morning this was about to be.
She would’ve made him something at home, but when Juan said leave now, she grabbed Fat Daddy, his helmet, his bag, and whatever else was within arm’s reach and stuffed it all into the backseat.
Fat Daddy was half-asleep, still in his pajamas, durag tied tight around his head, wrapped in a throw blanket and snoring like a grown-ass man.
Jackie, on the other hand, had the music off, hands tight on the wheel, praying to every god in the sky that her car wouldn’t show its ass again.
She figured she could always get Fat Daddy dressed there.
Lord knows, it wouldn’t be the first time they got ready on the go.
Thankfully, she had the foresight to put his little ass in the tub the night before.
Right now, Jackie was just grateful they’d made it to their destination in one piece. The first thing she did when she pulled in was look for bathrooms, but of course every single one was locked because they were early as hell. That meant she had no choice but to get him dressed in the car.
Luckily, the lot was damn near empty. Jackie drove around twice before finally spotting the perfect parking space.
It was under a huge cherry blossom tree at the far end of the lot.
She killed the engine and just sat there for a solid two minutes, finally able to release the breath she’d been holding the entire ride.
Jackie glanced in the backseat, took one last look at her sleeping son, and got to it.
She stepped out of the car and scanned the lot, her eyes moving instinctively.
Once she confirmed the coast was clear, she didn’t waste another second.
She popped the trunk and opened her emergency duffel.
Jackie always kept a packed bag on standby, stocked with extra clothes, sneakers, and other personal care basics just in case they ever needed to get away.
She pulled out three bottles of spring water, two bath towels, a washcloth, soap, mouthwash, toothpaste, toothbrushes, and her trusty African shea butter.
She opened the driver’s side door and laid one of the towels on the ground outside the car.
Fat Daddy stood barefoot on it between her knees while she sat in the seat.
Then she cracked the back door just enough to block the view from the side and went to work.
First things first, teeth. Jackie handed him the toothbrush and had him brush right there, using an empty cup from the car to spit into.
When he finished, she wiped him down, and he ooh’ed and ahh’ed like she was stabbing him with needles.
“Mommy, why we ain’t do this at home?” he whined, teeth chattering as he shivered.
Jackie didn’t answer right away. Instead, she wrapped a towel around him and rubbed his arms, trying to use the friction to warm him up.
The morning air was colder than she expected, and she hated seeing her baby cold.
That’s when she reached for the jar of shea butter sitting on the dash.
It had come out of her cold-ass trunk hard as a brick, but the heat from the car loosened it just enough.
Jackie scooped out a small amount, rubbed it between her palms until it melted warm, then worked it gently into his skin until the ash began to disappear.
She started with his face, then moved to his arms and legs, taking her time the way she always did.
Of course, he moaned and groaned the entire time.
He sounded just like MJ when he was that age.
That thought pulled a small smile from her.
She remembered MJ’s first Pop Warner practice, how excited he’d been.
Watching Max step into that same rite of passage warmed her heart in a way she hadn’t been prepared for.
“You wanna be ashy on your first day?” she asked, finally looking at him.
Fat Daddy flashed that snaggletooth grin and shook his head fast.
“No, Mommy. I don’t wanna be ashy.”
“That’s what I thought,” she said, smoothing the front of his jersey before helping him into his uniform and little cleats.
That’s when it really hit him. The excitement didn’t come all at once.
It rolled through him in waves. First the grin, then the bouncing on his toes, then the way he kept scanning the field like he was trying to memorize it.
Jackie sat back on the edge of the trunk for a second and just watched, letting herself take it in through his eyes.
She couldn’t even front, the field was beautiful.
Fresh turf, clean lines, shiny goalposts.
Not a piece of trash blowing across the lot.
Everything looked new, structured, clean, and safe.
And that alone made the chaos of the morning worth it.
She and Max walked the perimeter, exploring like tourists.
Fat Daddy kept looking around wide-eyed, jogging a few steps ahead, then circling back like he couldn’t contain himself.
“I can’t believe this our new field,” he said, his voice pitched high with excitement.
“Mommy, Coach Cash said this field brand new. He said we the first team ever to step foot on it.” Jackie smiled and squeezed his hand, refusing to let her innermost thoughts seep in and sour the moment.
She felt them, of course, but she pressed them down on purpose.
She was determined to focus on what was in front of her.
And what was in front of her in that moment was good. Even if it didn’t feel that way.
Jackie had accomplished everything she set out to do thus far. She got her baby to the field. He was clean, dressed, happy, and proud. Therefore, Mission one of the day was a success.
Now, how they were getting home later… that was a bridge she’d cross when she got there.
Right now, she had bigger fish to fry, like how she was going to get this boy breakfast. Jackie knew he was hungry, real hungry.
She could hear his little stomach beatboxing the whole time she dressed him, and that alone made her chest tighten.
Because what she wasn’t finna do, was send her baby into his first football practice running on fumes.
Jackie had to figure some shit out, and fast.
The only problem was the field sat deep in white-world, smack dab in the middle of nowhere.
Jackie had used GPS just to find the place, and she hadn’t seen a restaurant for miles as she neared the field.
It was the same thing when she opened UberEATS.
Nothing popped up. Same with DoorDash. Same with Grubhub.
Everything was pick-up only, and under no circumstances was Jackie moving her car until she absolutely had to.
By now, they had finished their little impromptu tour of the field.
Fat Daddy had been plotting on this massive pile of leaves since they arrived that morning.
So, when they returned to the car, he made a beeline to the leaves and began kicking through them like it was the highlight of his entire morning. Meanwhile, Jackie sat on the hood of her car, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, trying her hardest not to break down right there.