Chapter 22 #2
His muscles tense around me, clenching like he never wants to let go. I angle slightly to the side. My pace is unforgiving, with each hand on his hips, each thrust pressing him forward as the view of Denver is vast below us in the dark night.
I pull my hand back and land a sharp smack to his ass.
He cries out, but it melts into a moan. “Again,” he gasps, voice desperate and thin.
I oblige. Again. And again. The sound of skin against skin echoes through the room, and his ass turns a deeper red beneath my hands. He shifts slightly, chasing the next strike.
“I wish you could see yourself right now,” I growl, slowing my thrusts down ever so slightly. “Bent over, cock dripping, begging for more. You look fucking perfect taking my cock like this. Like such a good boy.”
He’s panting under me. “So… good,” he gasps out, hips trembling.
My hand snakes around his front and finds his heavy balls.
I cup them gently at first, then give them a sharp tug that makes him whimper and clench even tighter around me.
His ignored cock is leaking and swollen, but I don’t give him relief.
I want every bit of his pleasure to come from being full of me.
“Is my little slut gonna come on my cock?” I murmur, fucking him deeper now. “Gonna make a mess without a single touch?”
“Yes—mmm, yes, harder,” he pants, voice cracking with need.
I grunt, releasing his balls and grabbing his hips with both hands so I can drive into him harder, deeper, faster to give him everything he wants. The sound of skin slapping skin is the only noise in the room apart from our heavy breathing and pleasure-filled groans.
“There!” he cries out, head tipping back. “Right there, fuck, Nash—don’t stop.”
I’ve found the spot. The one that makes his whole body tremble, his thighs shake, and his ass pushes back like he can’t get enough. I fuck him right there against the window for anyone to see, just like he begged for, basking in the way his body unravels for me.
“Need… Fuck, need to touch myself. Please, let me—”
“Go ahead, baby,” I growl into his ear, “come while I fuck you right here in front of all of Denver. Let them see how desperate you are for me. How much of a pretty little slut you are when you’re taking my cock.”
He whimpers and removes one hand from the glass, wrapping it around his leaking dick with urgency.
He strokes himself in time with my thrusts, and within seconds, his whole body seizes, and he cries out as his orgasm hits.
Hot cum paints the glass in front of him in thick pulses.
And the second I feel his hole clench around me, milking my cock like it never wants to let go, I lose it.
“Fuck—Cay,” I groan, sinking deep and stilling as I empty into him, filling him with my release.
My arms wrap tightly around his waist, holding him there while we both gasp for air. His head falls back against my shoulder, still panting, and I can feel the aftershocks rippling through him.
“Jesus,” he breathes, voice shaky and sweet and ruined.
My cock is still inside him as I pull him to my chest. My hand slides up, fingers tilting his jaw until I can kiss him. It’s full of passion and everything I don’t know how to say out loud. Thank you. You’re perfect. I’ve got you. I can’t believe I found you. Can’t believe you’re mine.
When we finally break apart, he’s still panting, and he lets out a soft noise as I finally slide free from his body.
He’s flushed and marked and mine.
“Come on, baby,” I whisper, brushing the hair off his forehead. “Bath’s probably ready; let’s get you cleaned up.”
I hold out my hand, and he takes it, fingers curling around mine as I guide him toward the bathroom. I’m relieved to see the oversized tub filled just enough and not overflowing. Before I let him get in, I touch the water to make sure it’s not too hot, but it feels perfect.
“Okay, you can climb in. I’ll get in behind you.”
He glances back at me with a teasing tilt to his lips, undoing the tie still hanging loose around his neck and tossing it onto the tile floor. “You better,” he says with a smirk, then steps in and lowers himself slowly into the water, groaning at the heat.
I follow him, settling in with my legs framing his, chest against his back.
He leans into me, his body relaxing as the warmth seeps into both of us.
For a few quiet moments, we just breathe, the soft rising and falling of our chests syncing up as my arms come around his waist, and he rests his hands over mine.
“Nash?” he says softly.
“Yeah, baby?”
“Thank you. For everything.” He pauses for a moment, and I give him space. “I’ve always dreamed of sex like this, and I never thought I’d get it. I guess I thought I’d waited too long. Or that maybe I was too old or too far behind or just… I don’t know, it’s dumb, but—”
“No, don’t say that. It’s not dumb. Not at all. If it feels good and we both like it and want it, that’s all that matters.”
He nods slowly, fingers trailing down my thigh, lingering there like he’s still deciding whether to say more.
“I didn’t mean to cut you off,” I murmur. “What is it? I want to know.”
“I haven’t told you why I got divorced, have I?” he asks, and I pause because we haven’t talked about this, or his ex at all, really. And I’m dying to know.
“No, you haven’t.”
“It’s not something I like to bring up,” he says, voice quieter now. “And I’ve never really been honest with anyone about why we got divorced. Even though I know it’s for the best, and I don’t miss her at all.”
I don’t interrupt him, just slide my arms tighter around his chest, holding him close so he knows I’m right here, listening.
“It’s embarrassing,” he admits, and I press a kiss to the back of his head, hopefully comforting him and giving him strength. “Even though I know it shouldn’t be.”
He breathes in deep and steadies himself before continuing.
“I’d never been with a man before you, like I told you, but it’s something I thought about a lot,” he starts.
“My ex and I didn’t have a very active sex life, so she was okay with me watching porn.
I was always drawn to videos with two guys and a girl, but only if the guys were into each other too.
If they didn’t fuck, it just… didn’t do the same thing for me, and it felt like having the woman there made it okay. ”
He pauses, and I stay quiet, letting him get it out.
“I always knew she was more vanilla when it came to sex, but I figured… since we were married, maybe I could finally be honest about what I wanted to try in bed, but I was wrong.”
I pull him tighter, resting my chin on his shoulder as he goes quiet again. This story is going to break my heart, I can feel it already, but I let him take his time.
“Anyway”—he exhales—“one night we were talking about trying to revive our sex life, and after working up the courage for what felt like forever, I asked her if she’d be open to pegging me, and she blew up on me.
At that point, I’d only used my fingers occasionally while I jerked off, but it felt good.
Really good. But her reaction was… cruel.
Way more than it ever needed to be. She said horrible and hateful things to me, and it made it clear how little room there was for my desires in that relationship if they didn’t align with hers.
Long story short, asking her to fuck me was the start of the end.
She couldn’t get over it, and she ultimately held it over me, making me feel worse and worse with every interaction we had.
I was already nervous about sharing that part of myself with someone else, about admitting how I truly felt, so her continued reaction made me question if she was right—if there was something wrong with me. And we divorced shortly after.”
“I’m so sorry, baby,” I murmur. “That’s awful.
But I’m really fucking glad you got out of a marriage with someone who made you feel that way about yourself, and that we found each other, because you never have to hide what you want here.
We’ll explore all of it together, safely.
I’ll never judge you for what turns you on. ”
He lets out a deep breath, sinking further into me as he wraps his arms around mine over his chest.
“Before, sex never felt like it does with you. Even though it’s been hard on Sam, and single-parenting isn’t a walk in the park, her walking out of our lives is the best thing that’s happened to me.
Well, besides meeting you,” he admits, and I give his red cheek a quick kiss.
“I didn’t realize how trapped I felt in that marriage.
I had just accepted that was my life, and there’d always be a quiet part of me that wondered what it would be like to be with a man. ”
I press a kiss to the side of his neck. “I understand that. I’m sorry it was so hard. You don’t have to carry any of that alone anymore.”
“Nash?” Caleb asks hesitantly.
“Hmm?”
“Can you…” he starts, voice a little shy. “Can you put your dick in me and just let me sit on you? While we’re in here? It’s something I’ve always wanted to try.”
My heart swells at how softly he asks. “Yeah, baby. Of course I can. You should still have my cum and some lube in you since we haven’t washed you yet, so I should sink right in. Just one second.”
He shifts, and I stroke myself to get hard enough to slide into him easily. Once I’m there, I help him shift forward and sit up slightly to position himself over me. When he sinks down onto my cock, we both let out quiet, broken breaths.
His back presses against my chest again, and I hold him tighter than before, our bodies joined together. His fingers slide along my thighs, and mine rest over his heart. His body relaxes a little more, chest rising and falling in a slower rhythm.
“Is there anything else you want to explore together?” I ask, voice low against his ear. He’s so warm and tight, but I don’t want to make this about sex when I know it’s about comfort for him. “How are you feeling after tonight?”
“So much better now that you’re back inside of me.
” He laughs softly. “I like the feeling of being used by you, like I’m nothing more than a hole for your pleasure.
But I also love the praise mixed with the degradation.
It lets me experience and give in to my desires without feeling self-conscious because I’m doing exactly what you’re telling me. ”
“Mmmm,” I hum. “It turns me on too. All of it. And you’re so much more than a hole to me, even if that’s how you want me to treat you during sex.”
“I know.” He swallows. “I bought the dildo after she and I separated because I was always jealous of the bottom in the porn I was watching. Turns out, I had every right to be jealous.”
“I love filling you up the way you crave,” I murmur, sliding my hand down his back. “I do want to check, though. Do you ever want to top me?”
He shifts against me as he thinks and lets out a small sigh.
“Not really. I mean… if it’s something you wanted, I’d be open to trying, of course.
But what we’ve been doing feels good. I like handing control over to you and bottoming, a lot.
More than I even thought I would. But if you want me to, I will. ”
I press a kiss to his temple and let my hand settle over his hip.
“Nope,” I say softly. “That’s all I needed to hear.”
“How did you know you were attracted to men?” he asks, and I don’t think anyone’s ever asked me before.
“That’s a hard question because there isn’t a specific time that comes to mind for me,” I start.
“I never had a ‘this is it’ moment. It never felt like I was fighting anything when I was dating women. I noticed guys, but didn’t pursue them, and when I had the opportunity to hook up with my friend from class after we’d been drinking, I jumped on it. That’s what solidified it for me.”
“Did anyone in your life care?” he asks as he shifts on my lap with another little groan.
I swallow, wanting to be honest with him without rubbing it in. “When I told my family, I was met with support, thankfully. Have you ever told yours?”
“No, we don’t really talk as it is, and that would be the final straw.
I’ve accepted that, and I already went through enough shame with my ex, I don’t need to go through it with my parents too…
” he trails off. “Though… I think she might’ve told them I’m gay or something since they’ve been even more distant since the divorce.
Or maybe it’s just the fact that I got divorced.
I never asked since it doesn’t matter. I don’t want to subject Sam to that kind of conditional love. ” He sighs.
“I’m so proud of you for doing what’s best for you and Sam.
But Cay, please hear me when I say this…
their reaction is a them problem, not a you problem.
There is nothing shameful about who you are, and you don’t have to keep carrying their shame.
But you have to decide when you’re done holding it. ”
He’s quiet for a few moments before sighing. “You’re right,” he says.
I tighten my arms around him, rubbing his thighs and pressing kisses along his neck and shoulders.
We sit like that for a few minutes, until he starts shifting more, rubbing his ass against my thighs, and I notice his dick getting hard again. Gently, I wrap my hand around him, stroking slowly to comfort him the way he’s always deserved to be cared for.
He leans his head back against my shoulder, breath catching slightly. He moans as I stroke him and continue kissing him, and in this silence, I know without question that I’d do anything to make him feel safe like this.