Chapter 29
Caleb
Nash is still asleep next to me, one arm slung across my waist. I turn my head slightly, watching the way his face softens in sleep.
Last night was everything I hoped it would be, and now, waking up with Nash—the person I love—beside me on Christmas day already makes today better than every one before.
From down the hall, I hear the creak of floorboards, and a moment later, there’s a soft knock at my bedroom door before Sam opens the door in his fleece pajamas.
“Hey, buddy,” I whisper.
“Can I come in?” he asks, already stepping forward.
I nod, and he slips into the room, completely unfazed by seeing Nash in my bed. Sam climbs up into the middle of the bed while Nash shifts to make space without waking up fully—his dad instincts kicking in. He murmurs something that sounds vaguely like “mornin’” and drapes an arm over both of us.
“Santa came! I already checked!” Sam smiles brightly. “Are Benji and Emma coming soon?”
I glance at the clock. “Nash is gonna go pick them up in a little bit.”
“Can I go with him?”
“You can if you want, bud,” Nash pipes up behind me, his voice still a little raspy from sleep.
“Awesome! It’s like having friends over for Christmas!” Sam beams. “I can’t wait, then we can all play with our toys!”
I can’t help but laugh at the joy radiating off him. My heart feels like it could burst with love. Sam’s always loved Christmas, but today he’s extra excited, and that’s all I wanted for him.
Nash, Benji, and Emma have added so much extra love and joy to our lives, and knowing Sam feels the same makes this change a million times better.
“Well,” Nash says, sitting up and stretching, “you think we should check if Santa filled your stocking before we head out?”
“He did!” Sam yells, practically out of the room before Nash finishes his sentence, and I chuckle again.
“Good call on the stocking. That should help him have a little more patience than opening presents,” I compliment Nash.
“We can only hope.” He smiles back at me as we both get out of bed.
Sam’s already at the fireplace, and I follow, still grinning as Nash pops into the kitchen to start the coffee.
Sam grabs the blue stocking with a snowman on it off the fireplace and starts pulling items out, one by one.
He’s got candy, a couple of small handheld games, a stocking-sized LEGO set, and a couple more odds and ends.
Nash is watching from the kitchen, leaning against the wall, smiling the entire time, seeing how excited Sam is.
“This is the best Christmas ever,” Sam says around a mouthful of chocolate. “And we haven’t even done presents yet!”
Nash catches my eye over the top of Sam’s head and mouths, same.
I don’t say anything back. Just smile and think—yeah. Same.
“Alright,” Nash says, standing and stretching after Sam’s emptied the last of his stocking. “Time to go grab those other two elves.”
“I’m coming!” Sam announces, hopping up and rushing to put on his socks.
“You sure you don’t mind?” I ask Nash quietly as I rise and walk him to the door.
“Not at all,” he says before turning away. “Do you want to come?”
“Nah, it’s okay. I’ll stay here and get breakfast going so it’ll be ready when you all get back.”
“Okay, we’ll be back soon.”
Sam returns, jacket only half zipped. “Let’s go!”
Nash gives me a quick kiss before they head out into the cold, and I stand at the window with a fresh cup of coffee, watching the car pull away.
Before I get distracted cooking, I head back to my room and pull out my present for Nash. I’d been so nervous about it because I wanted it to be enough, and I hope he likes it, but it’s Nash, so he will.
In the kitchen, I turn on Christmas music, cook the bacon, and pull out what I need to make French toast. The bacon is almost done when I hear the door again, followed by the unmistakable voices of all three kids.
Sam comes barreling into the kitchen. “They’re here!”
I bend to let him hug me, and he’s still sticky-fingered from the chocolate in his stocking. Then Benji and Emma come in, red-cheeked from the cold, and I wave them toward the table. Nash trails behind them with a big smile on his face.
“Morning, Caleb,” Benji says, eyeing the food with interest.
“Merry Christmas, you two. I’ve got bacon ready, and the French toast will be done in just a minute.”
“Awesome!” Benji grins. “Can we open presents first?”
“How about we eat quick first then we can open presents?” Nash interjects.
“Fineee,” Benji whines.
“I’m hungry,” Emma adds, sitting on the chair at the table.
Benji and Sam join her, and they look eager to eat, but I know it’s just because they want their presents.
It’s a miracle we’re even holding them off this long.
Nash helps me finish everything, and we bring the food over to the kids so we can all eat together.
I’ve never had a Christmas like this—with this much laughter and noise. It feels good instead of overwhelming.
When the food is gone and our coffees are refilled, I stand and nod toward the tree.
“Alright,” I say. “Presents?”
Sam cheers and Emma squeals while Benji runs over to the tree to start organizing presents by name.
We take our time with it. Each kid opens one gift at a time, torn open with gasps or giggles or a muttered “Whoa, cool,” and sometimes a full-blown debate over who gets to play first.
Eventually, they move on to playing with their new gifts, and Nash and I cuddle up on the couch together, watching the scene unfold in front of us like something out of a movie.
The room is filled with so much joy, it makes my heart feel like it’s going to explode.
There’s torn wrapping paper everywhere and boxes of toys, and it feels like the five of us are going to start making new traditions.
“I don’t think I’ve ever had a Christmas morning this loud or chaotic,” I murmur. “Or perfect. Thank you, Nash. For spending it with us.”
“I want to spend every day with you,” he says, nudging my shoulder with his. “Let’s let them play for a minute. Come to your room with me?”
I nod, standing up from the couch to follow him. When we get to my room, he closes the door behind us. It’s still messy from this morning with the bed half made, but neither one of us seems to care.
“Okay,” he says, grabbing a present off the dresser that I certainly didn’t wrap. “I snuck this in here earlier and was gonna wait till later, but I want you to have it now.”
He hands over a small box as I sit on the edge of the bed and open it slowly. Inside is a photo. One I didn’t know he had or one that was ever taken.
It’s the picture of us on the day we made cinnamon rolls. I’m mid-laugh, and Nash is looking at me with so much love in his eyes.
“Flip it over.”
I do, and see something written on the back of it: You didn’t just change my life, Caleb. You’ve helped me see my forever.
My throat tightens. I blink a few times before looking up.
“Nash…”
“I wanted you to have something to keep with you. Even when we’re apart,” he says before leaning in to kiss me.
“This is the best gift I’ve ever gotten, thank you.” I swallow the lump in my throat and reach for his gift. It’s wrapped in the only paper I had left—blue with candy canes—and sealed with an uneven line of tape. “Your turn.”
He smiles, then starts peeling back the paper. When he gets the top off the box, he pauses, mouth twitching into a smile.
Inside is a set of matching pajamas—red and black plaid flannel pants and soft thermal shirts, one in his size, one in mine.
“Caleb! These are perfect,” he exclaims, a little surprised.
“You said you wanted matching pajamas, so I got them for us. The kids too, if you don’t think that’s overboard. They’re just in a separate box I hadn’t given them yet.”
“Absolutely. We’re all wearing them, baby. Thank you for doing this!”
He huffs a laugh, still staring at the gift, like it was truly a big thing.
“There’s a note at the bottom,” I say.
He lifts the pajamas and pulls out the folded scrap of paper I tucked under them.
I never thought I’d get to have this with someone. I’m glad it’s you.
When he looks up again, his eyes are suspiciously shiny. “Caleb.”
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
There’s no build up or big speech; he just says it like it’s an absolute truth.
“I love you too, Nash. So much.”
He leans in and captures my mouth with his, sealing the words between us. When we finally pull apart, I press my forehead to his, breathing him in.
“We should probably go back out there,” I murmur. “Before they tear the house down.”
“Five more seconds,” he whispers, arms tightening around my waist. “Just want more time with you.”
“Mmm,” I agree, eyes closed, soaking up the warmth of his body against mine.
Eventually, we break apart and start pulling on our matching pajamas.
“Let’s take a photo in the mirror.” Nash grins, holding up his phone, and I absolutely go along with it because he looks too damn happy not to.
“Speaking of photos,” I say as we pose, “when did you get the one of us in the kitchen at your house?”
“When you ran to the bathroom, I gave Sam my phone and asked him to take a couple of pictures of us when you weren’t looking,” he says casually, like he didn’t just admit to the cutest thing ever.
“Huh, I hadn’t even noticed. But I love that you thought of it.”
We grin in the mirror, and Nash is wrapped around me, his chin tucked over my shoulder as he takes the photo.
“Let’s go give the kids theirs,” I say. “I have their box under my bed.”
He grabs my hand before we leave the room, lacing our fingers together.
“This is the life I want, you know,” I admit quietly. “Messy and loud and full of the kids and you.”
He squeezes my hand. “I’m not going anywhere, baby. I love you.”
We walk back out into the living room, and Emma sees it first.
“Another present?” She gasps excitedly.
“What is it?” Benji adds on.
“Open it and see,” Nash says, dropping onto the couch and tugging me down with him.
They dig in fast, and the shrieks of laughter that follow are so pure it makes my chest ache.
“Pajamas!” Benji says, holding up a pair.
“Do we all match?” Sam asks, looking between me and Nash.
I nod. “Yep. Full-on corny family Christmas vibe. Go change, we can take a photo in front of the tree.”
The kids scatter, each grabbing their set and disappearing down the hall.
Nash leans in close, voice low against my ear. “We are so those people now.”
I laugh, leaning into him. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“Not even a little. This was my idea, after all.”
Not even a minute later, Sam and Benji come running back into the living room before Emma joins.
“Okay, everyone,” I say, grabbing my phone. “In front of the tree. Nash, let’s figure out where to put your phone.”
He sets it up on some books and starts the timer. “Ten seconds!”
I’m sitting on the floor, and Nash settles behind me, one arm slung around my chest as the kids pile in close.
The shutter clicks as the timer goes off.
And when Nash shows me, it’s perfect.
I know, right then, that I’ve found the perfect man who will give me everything I want, like it’s second nature.
He sees all of me and doesn’t flinch, and he seamlessly fits into the mess of my life like he was always meant to be here.
He’s the steady I didn’t think I’d ever get to have.
He gives without keeping score. He kisses me like he’s still in awe that he gets to.
He makes me laugh more than I’ve laughed in a long time.
He makes the weight I’ve been carrying feel lighter just by sharing the space.
And the thing is, I didn’t even know how much I needed all of that until he gave it to me.
I’ve given my sexuality more thought over the last couple of days, and honestly, I’m still figuring it out. Maybe I’m gay and not bi, but the label doesn’t matter as much to me as this truth: I’m in love with a man.
A man who makes me feel more seen, more wanted, and more myself than anyone else in the world.
All that matters is that he loves me and my son like he was always destined for us.
He’s my forever.