Chapter 17 - Too Late
Too Late
Well, fuck.
William’s bladder was killing him, but he couldn’t get out of bed. He couldn’t move. He barely dared to breathe.
Adathan looked too comfortable curled up against him, sleeping peacefully like he didn’t have a care in the world.
It tore William’s heart to pieces. And then it mended it, warmed it, and broke it all over again.
It was too late now, wasn’t it?
A smile pulled at Adathan’s parted lips. His fingers moved just slightly against William’s chest, as if he were caressing Biscuit in his dream. He murmured an unintelligible sound, then wrapped his arm around William’s chest and squeezed.
William held his breath. He waited, but Adathan didn’t seem to wake. His body relaxed against William’s, his breathing returning to its slow, steady rhythm.
William’s chest filled with yearning as he studied Adathan’s features—the blond lashes fanned against his rosy cheeks, the dusting of freckles on his button nose, the plump lips pursing just slightly, as if awaiting a kiss.
William averted his gaze, a groan of despair dying in his throat. He’d really fucked up this time. He should have accepted Oliver’s offer to take Adathan in right from the beginning.
Maybe he could still change his mind?
No, he couldn’t. Not only would Adathan be devastated, but Oliver was still mentally recovering from the accident. He’d been exhausted after spending just ten hours with Adathan. It would be unfair to ask more of him just because William couldn’t control his feelings.
So, what were his options?
William looked back at Adathan. Deep down, he knew he could make him happy—or at least, not unhappy. All he wished was for Adathan to have a safe and comfortable life. So, why did it feel so selfish to want to give in?
Because Adathan could make him happy as well?
Adathan inhaled deeply, his eyes fluttering open. He looked up, meeting William’s gaze with a soft smile.
William’s heart did all the things again. “Hey,” he whispered hoarsely. “Sleep well?”
Adathan nodded. He stretched his legs with a low groan, then turned and climbed out of bed. He grabbed his pillow and hurried out of the room, like he was late for work or something.
O . . . kay . . .
William sat up, wincing at his screaming bladder. He’d had just one beer. Why did it feel as if he’d chugged a whole keg?
He put his robe on and walked toward the door. He stopped halfway, his heart squeezing as a realization set in. Last night, he told Adathan he could go back to the way he used to be. Would William find him standing with his hand on his heart, declaring he was ready to serve him?
Would they be going back to square one?
William suppressed a sigh. He’d told Adathan he’d support him no matter what. So he would.
But first . . .
He made a beeline for the bathroom to deal with the most pressing matter, not daring a look toward the rest of the apartment.
The relief of his bladder emptying at last seemed to lift a veil from his mind.
Sure, it would suck if Adathan started acting like a slave again, but it would only be temporary. They would read the manual together, talk it through, and William would help Adathan untangle all the bullshit that had been implanted in his brain. It would be a new, stronger beginning.
And as for the status of their relationship, well . . .
William shook his head. One thing at a time.
He washed his hands, brushed his teeth, and walked out—nearly crashing into Adathan. “Ah.” He let out a nervous laugh. “Sorry.”
Adathan smiled but said nothing. He just stood there, looking at William expectantly.
Awaiting an order?
“Did you, uh, want something?” William asked.
“May I go to the bathroom?”
William cringed as he stepped aside. “Yeah. Of course. Sorry.”
Adathan walked in and closed the door, leaving him alone with his stupidity.
As William passed his room on the way to the kitchen, he noticed his bed was made.
The sofa was also clutter-free, Adathan’s blanket and pillow neatly put away.
Two mugs sat on the kitchen counter. When he looked closer, he saw they had instant coffee, sugar, and milk in them.
He reached for the kettle, but it was already on.
William turned around and leaned against the counter, slipping his hands into his pockets. He’d have to learn not to be so useless in the mornings if he wanted to keep up with Adathan. That wouldn’t be easy—he’d never been a morning person.
Adathan walked out of the bathroom with a spring in his step. He stopped next to the kitchen table, giving William a smile as he asked, “Do you need space today?”
William straightened. “No.” He took his hands out of his pockets. “Do you?”
Adathan answered by closing the distance between them and wrapping his arms around him.
William exhaled a slow breath as he returned Adathan’s hug. He closed his eyes, relishing the sensation of Adathan’s fingers dancing softly against his back.
Adathan rested his forehead in the crook of his shoulder. He melted into William, his full body leaning against him, as if trusting him not to let go.
William had no desire to. In fact, he was almost tempted to go back to bed with Adathan and hold him in his arms while they slept a little longer.
But it would be a very, very bad idea—especially now that he no longer had a near-bursting bladder to distract him from his memories of what had happened the first time they were in bed together.
“I was thinking we could go to the biodome today,” he said instead, letting go of Adathan. “What do you say?”
“The biodome?” Adathan pulled away but stayed close. He reached for both of William’s hands, fingers wrapping gently around his. The sheer tenderness in his eyes made William’s heart flutter. “Sounds to me like the perfect date.”
Well, fuck.
———
Adathan dragged his fingers along the tunnel’s simulated icy surface, tracing imaginary waves as they made their way toward the Antarctic area. It was as if they were walking in a giant freezer in dire need of defrosting. Only warmer.
Adathan looked damn stylish in Oliver’s fitted bird-print button-down shirt and skinny black jeans. Even the rolled pant legs appeared to be a deliberate fashion choice. He’d tied his hair in a sleek ponytail that swayed with every step he took, like a pendulum holding William’s attention captive.
From what William could tell, he’d used the rubber band from the broccoli stalks. He wouldn’t let that happen again; they’d swing by the store later and get him proper hair accessories.
Nevertheless, Adathan looked even more irresistible than usual, and William’s willpower was waning by the minute.
“Are you cold?” William asked. “I brought an extra sweater just in case.”
Adathan shook his head, smiling.
A woman and three bouncing kids rushed past them with an explosion of giggles. Two seconds later, squeals echoed across the tunnel, announcing something cute ahead.
Adathan let out a barely audible “aww” as they exited the tunnel.
Penguins. William immediately recognized them—there were those with the long yellow eyebrows, and those . . . uh, without.
Wow. William’s penguin knowledge had gone to shit.
The enclosure on the other side of the glass wall was filled with water that came up to his waist, with large rocks peeking above the surface and mock glaciers in the back.
Most penguins were relaxing on dry land, and the rest swam around like torpedoes in tuxedos.
They looked like they were living their best lives.
Adathan crouched to meet the gaze of a curious little fellow bobbing in the water before him. The penguin lazily flapped its flippers, its feathers puffed up like a big round marshmallow sizing up its new visitor.
William’s phone buzzed just as he grabbed it to take a picture.
? Oliver: Hey, is everything okay?
Shit.
With everything that had happened, William had forgotten to read the article. He hovered over the link, thumb ready to tap, but stopped himself.
No.
He wouldn’t be letting Richard intrude on his day with Adathan—not even in his thoughts.
? William: Sorry I missed your message yesterday. I’ll check out the article later, right now I’m at the biodome with Adathan
? Oliver: Nice! He must be enjoying himself :)
“Hey, Adathan,” William said, looking up. “Mind if I take a picture of you for Oliver?”
Adathan replied by springing to his feet and striking a pose, chin lifted, shoulders back, and that spark of confidence in his eyes that made William weak in the knees.
William’s heart skipped a beat as he aimed his camera at him. He’d have to add “model” to Adathan’s list of potential careers. Because damn.
Was there anything he wasn’t good at?
The Serviteur you currently have on hand was deemed unsatisfactory in both fine motor skills and emotional regulation.
William gave Barbara from Eden Serviteurs an imaginary middle finger as he sent Oliver the picture. Adathan hadn’t broken a single thing since he’d moved in with him, and he’d put up with William like a goddamn Zen master. Those people really had no idea what the fuck they were talking about.
? Oliver: He looks great! I’m glad I still had them lying around, they’re perfect for him.
? William: They fit him really well, thanks for offering them
Loud chatter erupted from the tunnel, alerting them of an incoming horde of people. William moved closer to Adathan, bracing himself; soon the room would be packed.
“Oliver says you look great,” he leaned in to whisper.
Adathan pressed his hand to his heart and smiled.
“Did you wanna take pictures?” William asked.
Adathan nodded.
William opened his picture app and handed Adathan his phone. “You just need—nevermind.” He chuckled as Adathan zoomed in on a yellow-eyebrowed penguin preening on a rock. “You know how to use a phone.”
Adathan’s eyes crinkled as he snapped the picture. “I do. Macaroni penguins are so cute.”
Right. They were called macaronis. William remembered wondering why they didn’t make noodles shaped like them when he was a kid.