Chapter 7
CHAPTER 7
LUNA
I told Axel I was working today, and I was trying to, but I couldn't get our impending date out of my head. I kept telling myself it was a work thing. I'd show him my ideas, and he'd prepare a meal. But something told me he didn't cook for women ever, and that made my stomach flutter.
Axel left shortly after our conversation, saying he had some errands to run. Was he standing in the meat aisle of the grocery store trying to figure out what to cook me? Would he pick up flowers to decorate his table?
How easy would it be to slip into the idea of us? We were out here away from everyone we knew and everything we were used to. It was an escape from our real lives. It would be so easy to let go of any caution and sink into this fantasy of him and me.
The big burly mountain man and the sunny girl from Florida. No one would ever have to know. My brothers weren't here to intimidate Axel. There was no one stopping us, and I wanted to tell my inner compass to fuck off so I could enjoy life for once.
Everything inside my body was telling me that Axel knew his way around a woman's body. He might not spend much time with women, but I didn't doubt what he focused on flourished. That included sex.
My phone buzzed, and even though we hadn't exchanged numbers, a zing went through my core. I was hoping it was Axel calling me.
It was my dad.
I sighed before I answered. “Hi, Dad.”
“When are you coming home?”
“I decided to stay a little longer.” I'd found that being vague with my family was the best play.
“And where are you staying?”
“I told you, in Maryland with my friend, Violet.” They didn't need to know I'd rented a cabin in the middle of the woods. My brothers and my father would be on a plane and headed my direction as soon as we hung up.
“Why are you gone for so long? We need you here.”
“Dad, everything I do for the business can be done remotely.”
“I thought you wanted to be more hands-on with the business?”
I huffed out a laugh. “You've told me more times than I can count that my position is in the office.”
“In Florida, not in Maryland.”
“I needed a break. I need to figure out what I want in life. Especially since you're not going to teach me the construction side of the business.” I wasn't going to talk to my dad about my ex cheating on me, but he'd probably heard about it by now.
Dad cleared his throat. “That's not exactly true.”
“You know it is. You have no intention of making any changes because you want me to help Mom out so she can work less. If I go on the construction side, Mom will have to pick up the slack.”
“We can discuss this when you're home.”
I sighed. “Maybe you should think about what you would do if I wasn't in the office.”
“What are you saying?”
My heart pounded. Was I really going to threaten to leave? I hadn't done that since I was a headstrong sixteen-year-old, desiring more freedom from her family. “I'm not happy, Dad, and if things don't change, then I'm going to need to make some decisions.”
“I don't like ultimatums.”
I laughed without any humor. “I just want you to know that I'm unhappy.”
“I've said we'll see.”
I rolled my eyes, knowing he couldn't see me. “We all know what that means. And maybe it's my fault. I shouldn't have worked for family.”
“What are you saying?”
“I'm doing my job while I'm here, but when I get back, if things haven't changed, then I'm going to start looking for other options.”
Now, Dad laughed. “There aren't that many on the island. Are you going to move?”
“If I have to.” I was enjoying my time in Maryland. I missed the beach, but this was nice too.
Dad's voice hardened. “You're being?—”
“Ridiculous?” I asked, irritation climbing up my spine.
“I don't like this,” he said gruffly.
“I'm sure you don't.” Dad liked everything lined up in neat boxes. Luna worked in the office. The sons worked in construction. Everything worked until it didn't.
“You need to think about what you're saying.”
“I have. I get the sense that nothing's going to change.”
“Is that why you're in Maryland? Or does it have something to do with that guy who keeps stopping by? What's his name, Tex?”
I rolled my eyes again. “His name is Rex.”
“Isn't he one of your boyfriends?”
He said it like I had a million, and he'd never keep track. “He's an ex.”
“Whatever he is, he wants to talk to you.”
“I'm taking a break from everyone. That includes him.”
“You need my help to deal with him?” Dad asked.
My family was overprotective, and it was nice most of the time. I sighed. “I can handle it.”
“Of course you can, but it doesn't mean you should have to.”
“Being here is good for me.” There was no one telling me how risky it was for me to travel alone or how dangerous it was to live in the woods next to some guy I didn't know. I could live my own life, and it felt good. Exhilarating even. I was in no hurry to return home.
Just then Axel drove up in his truck. It was black but had a covering of dust from driving up the lane to our cabins. “Listen, Dad. I've gotta go.”
I should offer to help Axel carry in his groceries, but he already had most of the bags on one arm, his muscles bulging while he strode purposely toward the cabin. I shouldn't be watching him. It was stalker behavior. But my desk just happened to face his house, and it wasn't like I'd placed it here.
“Be safe. If you need anything?—”
I smiled. I loved my parents, but they didn't understand me. “I'll call you.”
Then I hung up on my father, eager to watch Axel make a few trips back and forth from his truck to the house. He must have stopped at a hardware store because he was hauling supplies. I didn't know what they were, but I enjoyed the way his muscles flexed.
I sighed. How was I going to get work done?
I'd need to take care of my needs before I went over there for dinner, or I was going to jump him as soon as he opened the door.
Would Axel be the kind of guy who'd fuck me against the door? I squeezed my legs together at the idea. It would be nothing for him, but it would be everything for me. I knew he could make me feel good. My core tingled with anticipation. My body was going to be disappointed because I had no intention of following through on any of my fantasies.
When it looked like he was done with the show, I tried to refocus on my screen. I needed to answer new client requests for estimates, schedule appointments, and deal with any issues homeowners were having with completed renovations.
I dealt with the customers online so that Mom could take more time off. I knew they were thinking of retiring, and if I didn't get into the construction side before that happened, my brothers would never let me in. They only saw me as an administrative assistant.
As much as I loved my brothers, they didn’t understand me. They probably were happy with the way things were going. We liked to keep things in the family, and they needed someone to work the front office.
If I left, and Mom retired, they'd have to hire outside, and they wouldn't like that. But I was starting to think it wasn't my problem. Being here in Maryland was making me see that I had more options than I originally thought. I wasn't dependent on my family.
I could do something different. I didn't need to be in the state of limbo waiting for my family to make a different decision when it was unlikely they would.
On the island, the options were limited to tourism related, restaurants, realty, construction, and shops. I'd always felt lucky to work for my family. I had a job, unlike a lot of my friends who'd worry they'd have to move off the island for more opportunities.
I sighed as I got to work on answering emails and preparing estimates. For now, this was my job. I'd wanted to offer a design service to our clients, helping them come up with ideas for their kitchens or bathrooms, but Dad thought customers wouldn't need the service even though it was a common request.
I wished we could offer the service. Just because we were the only construction firm located on the island didn't mean it would always be that way. We needed to change with the times. I just wished my family could see it the way I did.
They didn't want to get involved in design. They didn't see that I could take care of it. I was starting to think they didn't think I was capable.
This job with Axel was a way to prove myself. I'd renovate his cabin and take the pictures to document my progress.
I lost myself in work for the next few hours, then took a shower before grabbing a six-pack of beer I'd brought on the first day I arrived. I figured Axel was a beer kind of guy, not wine.
I knocked on the door, my heart beating in my throat. I should tell him this was a bad idea.
His door opened, and the aroma of marinara drifted out. “Luna.”
“You cooked?” I stepped inside, my shoulder brushing against his chest.
Axel's expression was vulnerable as he snagged the beer from my grip. “I wasn't sure what you'd like. I hope you eat lasagna.”
“I love it.” The place looked freshly vacuumed and dusted.
He let out a breath. “That's good.”
I smelled garlic bread and a tossed salad sat on the counter. There was even a vase of flowers on the table. “You bought flowers?”
Axel shrugged, his face pink. “It added to the ambiance. The way it is, my kitchen isn't exactly inviting.” He opened the oven to check on the lasagna and then asked, “Did you bring your ideas?”
I pulled my tablet out of my bag and set it on the counter.
Axel swiped it and put it somewhere behind him on the counter. “We'll talk after we eat.”
That made this feel more like a date for some reason. I wanted to bring up the design ideas before dinner to separate what this was. I let out a shaky breath.
He cut the loaf of garlic bread, setting the slices on a platter and placing it on the table. He poured the beer into glasses, and then grabbed plates and bowls.
Instead of asking to help, I moved to take the bowls from him, dishing the salad into them.
Axel moved around the kitchen with jerky movements.
Was he nervous? Did he think this was a date? Was he attracted to me? That was the last thing I needed. I should have been focused on the job, not the man behind it.
A timer went off on the microwave, and Axel moved to take the casserole dish out of the oven. “It should be done.”
“There's only one way to find out.”
Axel dished the lasagna onto the plates. Had he gone home for holidays, or had he missed those things with his family over the years?
“This is nice. Other than cooking for the occasional boyfriend, I don't get opportunities to sit down and eat like this.”
Axel shot me a grateful look. “Me either. It's solo eating or the mess hall for me.”
“Is it nice to be on your own? Not having anyone to tell you what to do?” I asked, slicing into the perfect square of my lasagna. Axel must do everything with precision. It made me wonder if he'd be methodical when it came to sex or whether he'd let go. I hoped it was the latter.
His shoulders tightened, and I realized I'd hit on a sore spot for him.
“I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pried.”
He cleared his throat, still looking uneasy. “It's fine.”
It wasn't fine. I covered his hand with mine, and as soon as I felt the warmth, snatched it away. “Forget I said anything.”
He was quiet for a few seconds and then said, “It's weird. I'm not used to it.”
My palm still tingled from the contact with his hand. “I'm sure that's common. Have you talked to any of your other friends who've left the military?”
He shifted in his seat. “Not really.”
“Maybe that would help?” Because I couldn't help him with this. I could only imagine what it would be like to be involved in one way of life, then have it come to an end.
I hadn't experienced anything like it. I'd left the island for college, returned home on breaks, and moved back after graduation. I'd felt blessed at the time, but now I wasn't so sure. Had my circumstances kept me tied to the island when my friends had more freedom?
“Maybe.” Axel's answer was noncommittal.
I wished I could help more, but this was out of my wheelhouse. I wasn't used to a man showing a soft side. It was nice that Axel felt comfortable enough to show me he was struggling.
“There's no timeline for how to heal from everything you've been through,” I said to him, wishing I could touch him again. But I wasn't sure he'd be comfortable with that.
He pushed the lettuce around in his bowl. “I'm not used to talking about things.”
I nodded. “I kind of got that. My brothers are the same.”
He lifted his gaze to mine. “I'm glad I'm not alone.”
“I'm sure most guys struggle to talk about their feelings.” I sipped my beer. It went well with the lasagna. I couldn't remember the last time I'd eaten a home-cooked meal that wasn't prepared by my mother.
Axel broke off a chunk of bread and popped it into his mouth.
I chewed, then swallowed. “The lasagna is good. I'm impressed.”
“I can follow a recipe, and everything online said to buy the precooked noodles.”
“That is easier. My mom tried to make pasta from scratch one time. My dad bought her the big mixer with the attachments, but it was a disaster. She said never again.” I smiled fondly at the memory. She loved the idea of cooking from scratch for her family.
“My mom died when I was a kid, so we all learned how to cook. Some of us more than others. My sister really loved it and cooked most of the meals as she got older.”
“I'm sorry about your mother.” I hated that I'd even brought up my family. I didn't want him to be upset.
“It was a long time ago.”
“Some things you never get over.” Was he still the vulnerable kid he'd been then? Was he emotionally trapped at that age?
“Dad had to move on. He had a farm to run and kids to raise.”
“You grew up on a farm?” I asked, genuinely curious about his upbringing.
He nodded. “It's a hobby, but we'd like to focus more on it, build the business for our kids.”
“That's really nice.” I'd never met anyone who grew up on a farm. Everyone lived on the island where there wasn't much room for more than a small garden.
I loved that I was getting a glimpse into who he was. Each admission let me see more of him.