Ten
ten
LOCKED OUT OF HEAVEN - brUNO MARS
OWEN - DECEMBER 1, 2013
W inter settled in this year, draping everything in a thick blanket of snow. After everything that happened between Callie and Adam yesterday, I want to do something that will keep us warm but still get us out of the house. Sabrina agreed to let me pick Barrett up so we will have all three kids tonight. A family evening together is exactly what Callie and I need. After we pick up Barrett, I take everyone for a drive to see the Christmas lights at my favorite park in Cedar Bluff.
I hope the peaceful night will ease the tension that’s been hovering around us since Adam’s visit to see Ruby yesterday. Thinking back, I’m so proud of Callie for standing up to him. Of course he waited until I was in the shower to have his outburst. What a coward. Callie has come so far since we met. She sticks up for herself now when he starts to throw temper tantrums that rival Sara’s.
Callie watches me, trying not to laugh, as I zip up my coat and gather hats and gloves for everyone. “You really think we’ll keep the kids entertained in the car?” she asks, raising an eyebrow.
“I think it will be great,” I say, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek. “The kids are going to love the lights.”
Callie recently joined what she refers to as “Minivan Nation.” She selected a minivan large enough to account for three car seats.
When we arrive at Sabrina’s house to pick up Barrett, he comes rushing out the door ready to see the girls. He refers to Ruby as a pretty princess and it makes my heart swell with pride.
Once everyone’s settled in the car, we drive through the neighborhood, Christmas lights twinkling against the snow-covered lawns. Sara and Barrett are glued to the windows, oohing and ahhing at every display we pass.
“Look! There’s Santa!” Barrett squeals, pointing to a big inflatable snow globe down the street from Sabrina’s place. “You should get one of those at your house, Dad!”
Callie shoots me a look in horror, silently telling me that’s not going to happen. She already knows I love inflatables. I wanted to get one for Thanksgiving but she shot me down. We both laugh at his request and I give him a “yeah, maybe someday” to keep from begging. As much as I love Callie, I don’t think I can resist my little boy’s Christmas wishes.
Callie leans her head back against her seat, shoulders relaxing and it’s like the laughter melted her stress away. Good, that’s exactly what I was hoping for.
The next neighborhood is lined with houses decked from top to bottom with lights synced to holiday music, and Sara’s face lights up. “Slow, Dada!”
The word slips out without her realizing it, and something deep inside me shifts. It’s not the first time she’s ever called me that, and after yesterday, it hits me in a way I wasn’t prepared for. I would give anything to be these girls’ dad and free them from the chaos of having the dad they do. Callie looks at me with panic and I smile back at her, letting her know it’s okay. I slow down, music fills the car. Sara and Barrett soak it all in and Ruby somehow sleeps through the whole thing.
After a while, we head downtown to where Cedar Bluff’s main street is lit up with holiday decorations. Twinkling lights run from building to building on the town square, and the shop windows glow with festive displays. I would love to park and walk around the square with our little family, but the cold would be too much for little Ruby. We continue to drive slowly, letting everyone take in the sights around us.
As we leave downtown, I glance over at Callie. She’s watching the lights with a faint smile, lost in thought. I know her well enough by now to know she’s still anxious. I reach over to hold her hand, squeezing it three times in silent reassurance. She squeezes back twice. “Thank you,” she whispers, her voice so soft I can barely catch it over the sound of the Christmas music. “For tonight. For being here.”
Words catch in my throat as I think about everything that’s led us here. The late nights talking, the laughter we shared before either of us was willing to admit how we felt. It’s wild to think that we’ve known each other less than a year. We’ve been through so much in the last seven months and I cannot imagine what my life would be like without her and the girls now.
“It’s easy to be here with you,” I say simply. “This is all I want.”
The night stretches on in a comforting quiet. Sara and Barrett eventually drift off to sleep, their heads resting against the windows, soft snores fill the silence. We pull back into Sabrina’s driveway to drop Barrett off. I’m sad I don’t get to take him home with me tonight. I take a deep breath, savoring the peacefulness of my family together before we part. I wake Barrett up to say goodnight to Callie, and carry him inside. Sabrina meets me at the door and I walk to his room, tuck him into bed, and kiss him goodnight. He’s snoring again before I close the door. I thank Sabrina again for letting me take him tonight. Her fiancée Alex gives me a silent nod and wave as I walk back out to the van. I’m grateful we’ve been able to get along and wish it were possible for Adam to be civil like this. Maybe someday.
Back home, I carry Sara inside, her little body limp and warm against my shoulder as she sleeps. I smile at the quiet sound of her breathing, and reflect on how much my life has changed in the past year. Sara fits perfectly in my arms now, the same way Callie and her girls have settled perfectly into my life.
Callie walks ahead of me, Ruby’s tiny figure tucked close to her chest. The sight stirs something deep within me—pride maybe, or gratitude. Probably both. I watch her for a second, the way she moves with gentle strength, like she’s built to carry the weight of the world. A weight she doesn’t have to carry alone anymore, not if I have anything to say about it.
We carry the girls into their room. I tuck Sara into bed, her peaceful face aglow under the nightlight. “Sweet dreams, little one,” I whisper as I pull the blanket up to her chin. Callie settles Ruby into the crib as I step out of the room. Callie follows behind me, closing the door with that careful touch every parent learns. Our eyes meet, and she smiles at me—soft, tired, beautiful. The house is quiet now, the kind of quiet that feels earned after a long, full day.
We stop in the dim light of the living room, the glow from the Christmas tree casting flickering shadows on the walls. We stand there for a moment, then Callie steps into my arms, fitting herself against me. Her head rests on my chest like it belongs there and I press a kiss to her forehead, my lips lingering for a moment.
“Thank you for today.” Her voice is soft when she speaks, filled with warmth and vulnerability. “For everything. For making us feel safe. For making me feel safe.”
The emotion in her voice hits me square in the chest, and I tighten my arms around her, holding her as close as I can. “You don’t have to thank me,” I murmur, my voice thick. “This is where I want to be, Callie. With you. With them. Always. I just wish Barrett could have come home with us tonight too.”
She pulls back just enough to look at me, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “Me too. You know, you make it look easy… being with me,” she says softly, her lips curving into a sheepish smile. “But I know it’s not. I know we’re not.”
I shake my head, brushing my thumb along her jawline. “You don’t have to be easy,” I say, my voice steady and sure. “I love you exactly as you are, Callie. All of it—the good, the hard, everything in between. And I’ll do it every day, as long as you’ll let me.”
She just stares at me for a moment, like she’s trying to memorize my face. Then she presses her forehead to mine, her hands sliding up to rest on my chest. “You mean that, don’t you?” she whispers, like she’s afraid to believe it.
I pull her closer, my lips brushing hers in a kiss that’s soft, deliberate, and full of every promise I can’t put into words. It’s not rushed or desperate, just steady and certain, like my feelings for her. When we pull back, I rest my forehead against hers, looking her in the eyes. “With everything I have,” I tell her, my voice low and steady. The words feel like more than a promise; they are the truth of who I am now, wrapped up in her and the life we’re building together. I’ve never meant anything more.
Her eyes shimmer and tears fall freely down her cheeks. She doesn’t wipe them away, and it guts me when she says, “I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you,” Her voice cracks as the words slam into me. My heart aches for the wounded part of her that is convinced she is unworthy of love. How can she not see what I see? She deserves more than me. She deserves the world.
I tighten my arms around her. Anger and frustration flare briefly in my chest. I’m angry at Adam for doing such a bang up job of making her think so little of herself, and I’m frustrated that she cannot see herself for the remarkable woman she is. She doesn’t realize she’s the one who saved me. She’s the reason I wake up every morning feeling like the luckiest man alive.
“You’ve got it wrong, Callie,” I say, my voice thick with emotion. I pull back to look at her, brushing away her tears. “You’ve brought so much light into my life, so much love, I don’t even know how I got by before you.”
Her lips part, and I can see the protest coming, but I continue before she speaks. “You think you’re a lot to handle, but you’re not. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, everything I didn’t even know I needed. You’ve given me more than I ever thought I deserved, Callie. You are more than I ever could have asked for. So don’t you dare think for a second that you’re not enough. You are so, so much more than enough.”
Her tears come harder and she chokes out a laugh. She leans into me, burying her face in my neck as I hold her close. We start to sway gently, a rhythm we’ve fallen into so many times before. There’s no music playing, just the two of us slow dancing in our own quiet world.
I close my eyes and let myself sink into the feel of her warmth, her scent, the way her body fits against mine. Her presence fills every corner of me from the floral sweet scent of her shampoo, to the warmth of her breath against my neck. I feel the rise and fall of her chest as she relaxes against me.
This moment feels fragile, like it could slip away if I don’t hold on carefully, but also strong. It’s rooted in everything we’ve built together, in the trust and love that’s grown between us.
She shifts, her arms tighten around my waist. “What are you thinking about?” she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.
I tilt my head down, pressing my cheek to her hair. “You,” I admit. “Us. How lucky I am.”
Her laugh is quiet, but it vibrates against my chest, and I swear I feel it in my soul.
“I think I’m the lucky one,” she says, and I can hear sincerity. I pull back just enough to look at her, brushing a strand of hair away from her tear-stained face. Her eyes glisten in the soft light, and I feel like I’m falling in love with her all over again.
“We both are,” I say gently.
I kiss her again, slow and tender. She melts into me, her hands sliding up to rest on my shoulders. When we pull back, she’s looking at me like I hung the moon, I’ll do anything to keep that look on her face.
“Come here,” I say softly, taking her hand and leading her to the couch.
She settles next to me, curling into my side as I drape an arm around her. The glow from the Christmas tree lights casts a warm, golden hue over the room. It feels like a cocoon, just the two of us in the quiet safety of our home.
“I was so proud of you yesterday,” I say after a moment, my fingers idly tracing circles on her arm. “The way you stood up to Adam… I know it wasn’t easy, but you were incredible.”
Her cheeks flush, and she leans her head against my shoulder. “I don’t feel incredible. I felt… scared. Angry. But also relieved. Like I finally took back a piece of myself that I’d lost.”
“You did,” I tell her firmly. “You’ve come so far, Callie. I see it every day.”
She lifts her head, her eyes searching mine. “I don’t know what I’d do without you,” she whispers. “You make me feel like I can do anything.”
I cup her face in my hands, brushing my thumb along her cheek. “You can. And I plan to spend every day for the rest of my life reminding you.”
Her breath catches, and for a moment, we just stare at each other. Then she leans in and her lips find mine again, this time with more urgency, more need. I respond in kind, pulling her closer until there’s no space left between us. She straddles my lap, her hands gripping my beard as she deepens our kiss. I feel her body against mine, the warmth of her skin, and it’s like nothing else exists but her.
I slow the kiss, pulling back to meet her gaze. “Are you okay?” I ask, my voice low.
She nods, her lips curving into a small, breathless smile. “I’m more than okay.”
“Good.” I trail kisses along her jaw, down to her neck. She tilts her head up, giving me more access, and I pour everything I'm feeling into every touch, every kiss, as my hands explore her body. Her shirt lifts and the connection to her bare skin sends shockwaves through us both.
“Let me take care of you,” I murmur against her neck, and she shivers in response, her fingers tightening in my hair.
“I haven’t been cleared yet,” she reminds me.
“I know, Kitty.” I get a thrill from the way her pupils dilate at the nickname I haven’t used in weeks. I have missed being able to get a rise out of her like this and I’m grateful for the opportunity to worship her again.
We take our time, there’s no rush, no pressure. We kiss with a quiet hunger that feels both urgent and unhurried. We are completely wrapped up in each other, savoring the intimacy of the moment, rediscovering each other in the stillness of the night. The rest of the world fades into the distance as we make our way to the bedroom.
I lay her on the bed, promising to take good care of her. While it may not be time for us to fully be together again, I intend to make this gorgeous woman feel like the goddess she is.
I take my time removing her clothing and slowly slide her panties down her legs, revealing her glistening and ready for me. I want to take her now, but I don’t, not yet. Tonight, I’ll play. I plan to spend the rest of my life fucking her senseless.
I pull my shirt off over my head in one swift movement and hover above her, kissing her neck, her collarbone, her breasts. I kiss my way down the rest of her body and she writhes and whimpers for more. I settle between her thighs, pushing them apart more, but I’m met with some resistance. She’s nervous about me being here again, but there is no where else I would rather be. I would die if I could, here between her legs, her pussy so close I can smell the sweet scent of her arousal.
“You’re going to have to let me in a bit more, Kitty,” I remind her while her thighs clench and grip my shoulders stopping my pursuit. Not going to happen. I’ve waited so long to be back here again.
She hesitates, but I lift my hand to draw circles on her clit with my thumb. Her breath hitches and opens her thighs, giving me the room I need to devour her.
I slide my tongue between her pussy lips and she gasps. Fuck. She tastes better than I remember. I missed this. I missed her. I missed the way she feels on my tongue. I continue a slow pace up and down from her clit to her entrance. I look up at her, our eyes lock, and I slowly slide my tongue inside her wet heat.
She tastes fucking delectable.
I can tell she’s already close to orgasm as her body tenses. I pull my face away from her just enough to whisper “not yet,” against her skin, encouraging her to stay her orgasm as long as she can to intensify the feeling. She listens and I slowly slide one finger inside her to test the waters; she moans. “Is this okay?” I ask. She hastily nods. “Good girl,” I praise her. The words alone make her lose her mind, and my cock throbs in my jeans, begging for attention, but tonight isn’t about me. It’s about making her feel wanted, needed, and appreciated.
I bring my mouth close to her clit again. She cries out my name when I make contact, begging for release. I slide a second finger into her sweet pussy, moving at a glacial pace, curling my fingers up to hit the spot she loves so much.
“I can’t–” she breathes. “Owen…”
I moan into her clit, giving her permission to let go. I consume every drop as she comes undone on my fingers while I lap at her clit.
“So fucking delicious,” I say, pulling my fingers from her and sliding them into my mouth, relishing the taste of her cum on my tongue. I lick my fingers clean before leaning down to kiss her so she can get a taste for herself.
“God, that’s… so fucking hot,” she pants through our kisses.
“Yes, you are.” My words are a low growl against her lips, and she smiles–a soft, radiant and sated smile. I kiss her again, slower this time, savoring the moment. The world fades away for a while, leaving only us, tangled together in peace.
Later, as she lies curled against me, her head resting on my chest, I press a kiss to her hair and hold her close. “You know this is it for me, right?” I whisper. “You, the girls, Barrett… this is everything I’ve ever wanted.”
She doesn’t say anything, but the way she clings to me, the way her breathing slows as she relaxes in my arms, tells me she feels the same.I feel an overwhelming sense of peace. I watch out the bedroom window as the snow falls softly outside, blanketing the world in quiet stillness. Before long, I hear the tell-tale whimper escape her lips and I know she’s asleep. The faint glow of the Christmas lights from outside dances across her face and I’m struck again by her beauty. My own eyelids fall heavy as her soft, steady breath lulls me to sleep.