Twelve
twelve
DAUGHTERS - JOHN MAYER
OWEN - DECEMBER 4 , 2013
T he sound of Strawberry Shortcake on the television and Ruby’s cries hit me as soon as I open the front door, followed by Taylor’s exasperated voice. “Okay, okay, little miss drama queen. I hear you. Ava, can you grab that burp cloth? Sara, no! Don’t take your pants off!”
I step inside, kicking off my boots and shrugging off my jacket. The scene in the living room, like any other day, is pure chaos. Callie’s sister Taylor is bouncing Ruby on her hip. Her daughter Ava holds out a burp cloth, but maintains her distance so the baby doesn’t spit up on her. Sara is mid-strip, proudly tossing not only her pants but also her pull-up onto the couch.
“Well, this is one hell of a party,” I say, walking over to the couch to inspect the thankfully not dirty training pants with Princess Sofia the First on them and tossing them in the diaper pail we keep in the living room because, let’s be honest, you’re going to change a babies diaper wherever they are willing to cooperate and that doesn’t always mean the changing table.
Taylor spins around, her face lighting up with relief. “Thank God you’re home,” she says, handing Ruby off to me with a huff. “Your youngest has been fussing nonstop, Sara has been no pants dancing all day long, and my kid is terrified of puke and thinks babies are SO disgusting, Mom .”
Ava crosses her arms, frowning. “I must not tell lies,” she huffs.
“You’re not wrong, kiddo. Babies are disgusting,” I tell her with a wink. “It’s not your fault Ruby is a puke machine.”
“My work here is done!” Taylor announces, sinking into the couch. “I think I did pretty well, all things considered. Sara’s still alive… Pantless, but alive. Ruby’s fed. Ava hasn’t abandoned me…”
“Yet!” Ava chides.
“And my baby fever is officially cured. I’m getting the number for Callie’s doctor as soon as she gets home and making an appointment to get my uterus removed completely. Fuck tying my tubes. I just want it gone! Oh my God! I’m so sorry,” she finishes, obviously mortified by her rant.
Taylor claps her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide as she glances at Ava. “I didn’t mean to say that out loud.”
Ava doesn’t miss a beat. “It’s okay, Mom. I don’t want any siblings anyway. They puke and poop too much.”
I stifle a laugh, adjusting Ruby in my arms. Her cries taper off when she tugs on my beard.
Taylor groans, sinking further into the couch and covering her face with a throw pillow. “Callie’s going to kill me. Please don’t tell her I said that.”
“Not a chance,” I tease, bouncing a now smiling Ruby. “Although, you might owe Ava an ice cream cone to make up for the emotional trauma.”
“I’ll take two, please!” Ava calls from across the room, now arranging Sara’s scattered toys into neat rows.
“Nice try,” Taylor mutters, peeking out from behind the pillow before turning her attention back to me. “How was work? Or should I say, how was your peaceful, pants-on, baby-spit-free day?”
I smirk. Taylor clearly has no idea how stressful and messy my job can be, and that’s fine. I’ll let her have her mopey moment. “Oh, you know, just another day in paradise. Nothing quite as exciting as this circus you’ve been the ringleader of today.”
“I’m the wing weeder!” Sara declares, standing proudly in nothing but her shirt which is thankfully long enough to cover her. She puts her hands on her hips as if she’s about to start the circus up all over again.
“Ringleader of the Pantless Brigade, maybe,” I say, setting Ruby down in her bouncer. “But if you’re going to lead, kiddo, you need to have pants on. That’s the rule.”
Sara pouts, crossing her arms. “No pants. Pants are bitchy.”
Taylor bursts into laughter, hiding her face in the pillow. I crouch down to Sara’s level. “Itchy, sweet pea,” I say, trying to hold back my own laugh. “The word is itchy.”
“Bitchy!” Sara repeats with confidence, her little arms still crossed over her chest.
“Nope, definitely itchy,” I say firmly, though the corners of my mouth twitch. “Come on, leader, let’s get some pants on you.”
Taylor, still laughing, waves me off. “Good luck with that. This kid’s got a future in stand-up.”
I grab a fresh pull up and a pair of leggings from the diaper bag. “You’re not helping,” I say and guide Sara toward the floor.
“Hey! I’ve helped enough today,” she replies, her laughter settling into a grin. “This is quality entertainment.”
“Don’t you have somewhere you need to be?” I ask. I’m teasing her but the truth is, I don’t mind hanging out with Callie’s family. I wish I got to more often.
After some minor negotiations and a promise of a cookie after dinner, Sara finally lets me get her into a new pull-up and a pair of pants. She stands up and inspects herself making sure I didn’t mess up.
Taylor smirks. “See? Crisis averted. You’ve got this girl dad thing down.”
“You learn fast when you’re outnumbered.”
Taylor chuckles, stands, and stretches. “I think my job here is done. Ava, grab your stuff. We’re heading out before I end up stuck here for bedtime.”
Ava, who has been quietly organizing Sara’s stuffed animals into a perfectly symmetrical row, pops up and grabs her backpack. “Bye, Sara! Bye, Ruby!” she calls, waving enthusiastically.
Sara waves back from the couch, engrossed in Strawberry Shortcake again. I really need to get this kid some new DVDs…
Taylor turns to me at the door, her tone softening. “How’s Callie doing? I mean… really?”
The shift in her voice catches me off guard. I glance toward the living room where Sara is humming along to her show. “She’s… okay, I think,” I say, keeping my voice low. “She hasn’t said much, but I know she’s been in her head a lot lately.”
Taylor frowns, adjusting the strap of her bag on her shoulder. “That’s what I was afraid of. She seemed fine earlier, but you know how she is. She doesn’t like to let people see when she’s struggling.”
I nod, the tightness in my chest creeping back. “Yeah, I’ve noticed. I don’t want to push her, though. I’m trying to give her space, but… I don’t know. I just want to make sure she’s okay.”
Taylor looks me in my eye. “You’re good at giving her what she needs, Owen. Just make sure she knows it’s okay to let you in, too. She’s been through a lot, and she’s probably still figuring out how to process it all.”
Her words settle heavily in my chest. “Yeah. I’ll talk to her.”
“Good,” she says, reaching out to squeeze my arm. “She’s lucky to have you, you know. You’re doing a great job.”
I manage a small smile as her words echo in my head. “Thanks, Tay. Really.”
Taylor straightens, calling over her shoulder to Ava, who’s still lingering near the door. “Come on, kiddo. Let’s go before Sara ropes you into watching cartoons all night.”
Ava grins, giving one last wave. “Bye, Sara! Bye, Ruby!”
The door clicks shut behind them, and the house falls quiet, save for the hum of Ruby’s bouncer and Sara’s occasional giggles at the TV. I glance at the clock, Callie should be home from her appointment soon. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.
Taylor’s right. I need to make sure Callie knows it’s okay to lean on me. She’s strong, but even the strongest people need someone to spot them when things get too heavy. I want that someone to be me, now and always. I’ll be sure to talk to her about these things when she gets home.
For now, I settle onto the couch beside Sara. She leans her little head against my arm as she points out her favorite characters. Ruby stirs in her bouncer, cooing softly before falling back to sleep. These moments, these little pockets of calm in the chaos, are another reason why I will always show up for them.