Seventeen
seventeen
YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL - THE RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS
CALLIE - DECEMBER 14, 2013
T he morning air bites as I bundle Sara into her jacket, her little arms outstretched as she babbles about going to see “Da Da.” I know she’s excited to see Adam today, but I wish I didn’t have to share my girls with him. There’s nothing that I want more than to keep them here at home with me and Owen.
Owen comes in from the cold after starting the van. He must sense me spiraling because he places a kiss on my cheek after I’ve finished putting on Sara’s hat and mittens. His quiet presence feels like the only thing holding me together right now.
“You ready?” he asks, picking up Ruby’s car seat and pulling the strap of the diaper bag over his shoulder.
I glance at Sara, then at Ruby who is already fast asleep in her car seat. I swear, that thing is an instant nap machine for my sweet baby girl. “Not really,” I admit.
Owen sets the car seat back down for a moment and steps closer to me, cupping my face gently with his hands. His dark brown eyes meet mine, steady and warm, holding me together in a moment when all I want to do is fall apart.
“Callie,” he says, his voice calm and sure. “You’re doing an amazing job. I know this is hard, but you’ve got this, and I’m right here with you every step of the way.”
I take a shaky breath, leaning into his touch. “I just… I hate this so much. I hate that I have to send them to him, even if it’s just for one night. Especially after the way he behaved the last time I saw him. I’m scared.”
“I know you are,” he says, brushing his thumb lightly against my cheek. “But Ruby and Sara are going to be okay. They are resilient. Just like their mom.”
His words don’t erase the ache inside me, but they make it feel a little less painful. I nod, swallowing back the lump in my throat.
“Remember,” he says as he touches his forehead to mine, “I would never let anything happen to these girls. I hate Adam for the way he treated you, but I genuinely don’t believe he would mistreat the girls. I don’t know how to explain it, maybe it’s the dad in me, I’m not sure, but there’s something that tells me they will be safe with him.”
“Okay,” I whisper.
Owen presses a lingering kiss to my forehead before picking up the car seat again. “Let’s do this together.”
We make our way to the van, and I help Sara climb into her seat as Owen buckles Ruby’s car seat to the base. The heat from the vents is already cutting through the chill, and the sound of Sara singing to herself calms my nerves. How can I be upset over something that makes her little heart so overjoyed?
The car ride to Burlington is quiet, aside from Sara’s occasional chattering before she, too, drifts off to sleep. Owen rests his hand on my knee as I stare out the window, trying not to think too much about tonight.
When we pull into Adam’s driveway, Sara claps her hands excitedly.
I force a smile, unbuckling her from her seat before slipping her coat back on. “Come on, sweetie. Let’s get you inside.”
I asked Owen to stay in the van but he insists on helping me carry everything up the front steps of Adam’s house. The house we only briefly shared together that he now shares with his girlfriend Katie.
Owen grabs Ruby’s car seat and pink diaper bag while I lead Sara to the door. My heart pounds as I knock, the sound echoes in the quiet morning.
Adam answers on the first knock, his expression unreadable. He’s dressed in a sweatshirt and jeans, casual but put together. For a moment, we just stand there, the tension thick in the air.
“Hey,” Adam says, his eyes flicking between me, Sara, and Owen, lingering on Owen for a moment too long. His jaw tightens, but his voice remains even. “She’s excited.”
“Hi, Da Da!” Sara shouts, bouncing on her toes and reaching up for him.
Adam smiles then, a real one that softens his features, and scoops her up into his arms. “Hey, Princess. You ready for our big night?”
Sara nods enthusiastically, babbling about her favorite toys and asking if they can bake cookies. My stomach churns at the sound of her laughter. She’s so happy, so oblivious to the tension stretching between the adults in her life.
I glance at Owen, who gives me a small, reassuring nod. His calm steadiness keeps me from falling apart, even as the memories of my last confrontation with Adam flash in my mind. His raised voice. The way he’d tried to blame me for every shortcoming in our co-parenting arrangement. Would he let his temper get the better of him again, this time in front of the girls? Would he say something he shouldn’t, something Sara is too young to hear?
My jaw tightens as I push the thought away. I can’t dwell on what I can’t control.
“You didn’t have to bring Owen,” Adam says, his tone clipped.
“I asked him to come,” I reply, meeting his gaze without flinching. “I wanted the extra set of hands.”
His eyes narrow, but he doesn’t argue. Instead, he shifts Sara to his other hip and steps back to let us in. I adjust Ruby’s blanket as Owen steps inside behind me, carrying the diaper bag. Adam’s gaze lingers on him again, his lips pressing into a thin line.
The house feels too quiet, too polished. It’s a far cry from the life we once shared here, a life I no longer recognize. I glance at the spot in the living room where the girls’ toys are neatly arranged, their bright colors at odds with the sterile feel of the space.
Owen places Ruby’s car seat on the couch, and I crouch down to unbuckle her. She stirs slightly, her tiny fists clenching, but she doesn’t wake.
“She just ate before we left,” I say, my words tumbling out in a rush. “Her diapers and clothes are all in the bag, and her blanket is in there too. She likes to be swaddled when she sleeps?—”
“Callie,” Adam interrupts, his voice softer now, but firm. “I’ve got it.”
I freeze, my hands hovering over Ruby. Does he? I want to believe him, but the doubt claws at me, sharp and relentless. Will he know how to handle Ruby when she cries? Will he have the patience to calm her without snapping? And what about Sara? Will he talk about me in front of her, planting seeds of resentment she’s too young to understand?
I glance back at Owen, his presence like a lifeline. His eyes meet mine, and I find enough strength to straighten up and step back.
“Okay,” I say, my voice quieter now. “I’ll see you tomorrow when you drop them off. Please bring them home before dinner so it’s not too late.”
Adam nods, lifting Ruby carefully out of her car seat. He holds her against his chest, his movements gentle, and I feel a flicker of relief. Maybe he really does know what he’s doing.
Sara, oblivious to the undercurrent of tension, dives into her toy bin, giggling as she shows Adam a plastic dinosaur. I force myself to smile, even as my chest aches while we say goodbye to the girls.
“Let’s go,” I whisper to Owen, my voice barely audible.
He doesn’t hesitate, placing his hand on the small of my back as we head back to the van. I keep my head down, my heart racing until we’re back inside the vehicle.
Owen starts the van, the hum of the engine breaking the silence. He glances at me, his expression filled with quiet concern.
“You okay?” he asks gently.
I shake my head, the tears I’ve been holding back finally spilling over. “No. What if he says something he shouldn’t? What if?—”
“Callie,” Owen interrupts, his voice steady. He reaches over, taking my hand in his. “Listen to me. You’ve done everything you can to prepare for this. Ruby and Sara know how much you love them. I don’t think Adam is going to do anything to hurt them.”
I nod, though his words don’t fully ease the anxiety. “I just… I hate not being there. I hate that I can’t control what happens in that house.”
“I know,” Owen says.
His hand tightens around mine with three consecutive squeezes, grounding me in the present. I take a deep breath, the warmth of his touch soothing the sharp edges of my fear.
“Thank you for being there for me,” I whisper, squeezing his hand back twice in return.
Owen smiles, his eyes never leaving mine. “Always.”
We pull out of the driveway and the house disappears in the rearview mirror. The drive back home is quiet, aside from the faint hum of the engine. Owen doesn’t let go of my hand the entire way, his thumb tracing gentle circles against my skin. Even without words, his presence calms me in a way nothing else can.
When we pull into the driveway, I hesitate before getting out of the van, the weight of the day settling over me like a heavy blanket.
Owen cuts the engine and turns to me. “Callie, I can stay home tonight,” he says softly.
I blink at him, surprised. “What?”
“The guys’ night,” he explains, his eyes searching mine. “It can wait. Vince will understand. I don’t want to leave you alone if you’re not up for it.”
His offer is so genuine, so thoughtful, but I shake my head. “You should go. Vince needs this. He’s going through a lot right now, and you’ve been looking forward to spending time with him and the guys. I’ll be okay.”
“Are you sure?” he asks, his brow furrowing. “Because if you need me here?—”
“I don’t,” I interrupt gently, squeezing his hand. “You’ve been here for me all morning, and I’m so grateful for that, but I’ll be fine. I promise.”
Owen doesn’t look convinced, but he nods slowly. “Alright, but if you change your mind, just call me. I can come home anytime.”
“I know,” I say softly, my voice steady even as my emotions churn inside me. “And that means the world to me, but I want you to go. Vince needs you. You need this too.”
His lips tug into a small, almost disbelieving smile, his dark eyes locking onto mine. “You’re pretty incredible, you know that?”
I shake my head, a small laugh escaping despite myself. “You’re wrong, but I’ll let you believe that for now.”
“Not wrong,” he murmurs, his voice dipping lower. “Just lucky.”
The quiet greets us like an unwelcome guest as we step into the house. The absence of Sara’s laughter and Ruby’s coos hangs in the air, making the space feel too still, too empty. I glance toward the living room, where the throw pillows are still askew from Sara’s morning antics, but the usual mess of toys and baby blankets has been tidied away.
It feels unfamiliar. Lonely.
Owen closes the door behind us, his hand brushing against the small of my back. The warmth of his touch pulls me back to the present.
“It’s weird, isn’t it?” he says, his voice breaking the silence.
“Yeah,” I admit, my voice quiet. “I thought I’d enjoy the quiet, but it just feels… strange.”
He steps closer, his hand trailing from my back to my hip. His touch lingers, deliberate and gentle. “We haven’t had the house to ourselves in… forever,” he says, his tone thoughtful. “Maybe it’s not so bad if we make the most of it.”
I look up at him, his words hanging in the air. There’s something intentionally playful in his eyes that sends a shiver through me.
“Make the most of it, huh?” I ask.
“Yeah,” he murmurs, his voice dipping lower as he closes the space between us. “Like this.”
He cups my waist with both hands, pulling me closer as his lips brush against mine. The kiss starts slow, tentative, like he’s giving me the chance to pull away. But I don’t.
Instead, I lean into him, my fingers curling into the front of his shirt as the kiss deepens. His hands slide up my back, warm and strong, anchoring me to him as if he can feel the pieces of me threatening to come undone.
I don’t know how he does it—how he always knows exactly what I need, even when I can’t find the words to ask.
His lips travel from my mouth to the curve of my jaw, then down to my neck, leaving a trail of heat that makes my breath catch. His hands roam, one slipping to the small of my back, the other tangling gently in my hair.
“Owen…” I breathe, my voice barely audible.
He pulls back just enough to look at me, his dark eyes searching mine. “Are you okay?”
I nod, my fingers tightening in his shirt. “Yeah,” I whisper. “More than okay.”
His lips quirk into a small smile before he captures my mouth again, this time with more urgency. The kiss is deeper now, his movements more insistent, as if he’s trying to erase every worry, every ache, every fear still clinging to me.
I let myself get lost in him, in the way his hands explore my body with a mix of confidence and care, in the way his lips move against mine with a purpose that leaves no room for doubt.
When we finally break apart, his forehead rests against mine, his breath warm and uneven against my skin. “You’re not alone in this, Callie,” he whispers, his voice low and sure. “I’m here. Always.”
I close my eyes, allowing myself to believe him, to let the steady warmth of his love seep into every corner of my being, a quiet reassurance that I’m not alone. It’s in his touch, his voice, his presence.
“I know,” I whisper back, my trembling voice betraying the emotions brimming inside me. “I know.”
Owen doesn’t let me go. Instead, he pulls me closer, his arms wrapping around me like a shield, as if he can keep the rest of the world at bay.