Chapter 42
Chapter Forty-Two
Alex
The train slows to a stop at Diridon Station, just a little over a mile from our hotel, and I frown down at my phone and then step off onto the platform as the doors open.
My mind’s still reeling from the day, all of my excitement and enthusiasm mixing with worry.
It’s almost two, which is much later than I planned to be back, and I still haven’t heard anything from Nico.
That’s probably a good thing. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself as I grip my phone and start the walk back to the hotel.
Everything about my own experience today was fantastic—my chat with Dr. Ellis, the tour he gave me of his lab on the second floor of the Physics and Astrophysics Building near the main quad on campus, the presentation by one of his postdocs for the entire department.
Afterward, Dr. Ellis introduced me to several other faculty members in the department and to Dr. Millan, the visiting professor I spoke with earlier in the summer.
Before I left campus, he gave me a formal offer to join his lab as an undergraduate researcher in the fall.
There’s a strange feeling of pride in my chest, and it all feels unreal and exciting. I can barely believe it.
I just hope Nico’s day has been as good as mine. Or at least good enough.
I break into a jog to catch the light before the crosswalk sign changes, and as I step up onto the curb on the other side of the street, my phone buzzes. Nico’s name pops up on the screen, and I stop in the shade of one of the trees lining the sidewalk as I click on the notification.
Nico (1:58 p.m.): Where are you?
The immediate relief of seeing his message hits me square in the chest. I shoot him a quick response.
Alex (1:59 p.m.): almost to hotel. u?
I’m still over half a mile from the hotel, but I start walking again at a decent pace. Several minutes later, as I’m turning the corner onto San Carlos, he texts me back.
Nico (2:04 p.m.): I just got back to the room
I can’t read a single thing from the tone of his text, which isn’t anything new. But the simple fact that he texted me back means he’s not in awful shape.
Alex (2:05 p.m.): be there in a few
He almost immediately responds with a thumbs-up emoji, and I grin and pick up my pace even more.
Another ten minutes or so later, I pull my keycard out of my pocket, tap it on the door lock, and then push open the door.
The room’s dark and quiet, and I hesitate just inside, stepping forward slowly.
When the bed comes into view, my stomach drops.
Nico’s lying there under the covers, his back to me.
The clothes he was wearing earlier are in a pile on the floor at the foot of the bed, next to the shoes he borrowed from me, and his phone is sitting face down on the nightstand.
“Nico?” I ask softly, not wanting to wake him.
“Hmm?” he answers. Then he shifts over onto his back and opens his eyes partway, turning his head toward me with a weak smile. “You’re late.”
I narrow my eyes as I study him, trying to figure out what it means that he’s lying half naked in bed in the middle of the day after a job interview. And what it means that he’s smiling.
“You were late, too,” I say slowly.
He nods and then lifts up the edge of the comforter and gestures for me to join him.
“Vera took me to see three other art galleries she manages in the area,” he explains sleepily as I slip my shoes off and make my way over to the bed.
“And then we came back, and she took me to lunch at this café right across from Urban Arts.”
I slip under the blanket, gather him up in my arms, and kiss him gently. He smiles against my mouth, and my heart skips a beat.
“Sounds like it went well?”
“Mmm, yeah. I think so.” With a deep sigh, he closes his eyes and settles his head against my chest. “I’m just exhausted now.”
“Rest, then,” I say quietly, and he nods into me. Within a few minutes, he’s already asleep, his breathing rhythmic and slow. I kiss the top of his head and close my eyes, letting myself rest as well.
I don’t fall asleep, though; my mind’s racing with possibilities. And carefully, so I don’t wake him, I reach into my pocket, pull out my phone, and open up a new browser tab to start a search for one-bedroom apartments nearby.
“So, what do you think?”
Nico stands next to me, looking up at the newly painted white-brick building sandwiched between a pizza place and a pub. His eyes scan the windows on the second and third floors, and his expression tightens.
“I think it’s crazy that a three-hundred-square-foot studio apartment rents for two thousand a month,” he says. “But the location is perfect.”
“It’s less than a mile from Vera’s gallery. And it’s quiet and private.”
“Yeah.” He glances down at the brochure he’s holding. “All utilities included. And it’s fully furnished.”
“And there’s pizza,” I add, nudging him with my elbow and then hooking a thumb over toward the pizza place on our left.
He laughs and shakes his head. “You’re hungry?”
“I didn’t have my future employer buy me lunch,” I answer, slipping my arm around his waist.
He smiles weakly but then drops his chin. “She’s not my future employer yet.”
“Eh, technicality.” I squeeze him to me, and he laughs again. “Pizza?”
“Yeah, sure.”
We step apart just enough for me to drop my arm from around his waist and then take his hand, and together we head into the pizza place.
It’s not busy right now, but given the atmosphere, I suspect it will be getting busy closer to the dinner rush.
We order a few slices each of Detroit-style deep-dish pizza with various toppings, along with a couple of bottles of water, and then head back out to the patio seating and grab one of the open tables, scooting our chairs close together.
While we eat, we talk seriously about his budget.
I pull out my phone and open up the spreadsheet we made earlier in the summer, and together, we update everything.
Car insurance removed. Monthly passes for the local bus and train services added.
Rent cost updated to reflect the cost of the studio apartment we just toured.
Utilities removed from the list. A few other tweaks here and there.
And when it’s all said and done, Nico looks up at me, his eyebrows arched with a tentative hope.
“So . . . it’s doable?” he says. “Maybe?”
“It is,” I answer. “Definitely.”
He just stares at me for a moment, several conflicting emotions flickering in his beautiful eyes. Then he purses his lips and blinks a couple of times. “I’m still scared to hope. Why am I still scared to hope?”
I reach up and cup his cheek, letting my thumb stroke gently along his skin, and we come together in a short kiss that’s sweet and tender and loving.
My heart is full, and I’m not sure I’ve ever been happier or more proud of him.
When we part, I rest my forehead against his, and he shakes his head almost imperceptibly.
“I can do this,” he says, though he sounds less than sure.
I nod and kiss his lips again, briefly and softly. “And you’re not alone. We’ll be together. I’ll help you. We’ll support each other.”
He closes his eyes, and a single tear slips down his cheek. “We can do this.”
“Yes.”
He straightens up and brushes the tear from his cheek. Then he’s quiet for a moment before he says, “I like the apartment. As soon as I get the call from Vera, I’ll email them and put down the deposit. I have enough money saved for that now, yeah?”
Some overwhelming emotion grows in my chest, and all I can do for several seconds is stare at him. It’s real. This is real and happening, and I’m suddenly so grateful, so intensely grateful, as I think back on just a little over a month ago.
I thought I’d be losing him at the end of the summer.
I thought I’d be leaving him in Nebraska, my heart breaking more and more each day as we grew farther and farther apart.
I imagined life would be condensed into a series of phone calls and unanswered texts, punctuated by infrequent, guilt-filled vacations back home that wouldn’t ever really be long enough.
I’ve never been so glad to be so wrong about anything in my life.
He arches an eyebrow at my silence. “Alex? It’s enough, yeah? I think I have about twelve hundred now, and the deposit is a thousand? Right?”
I nod slowly as a smile spreads across my face. “Sorry, yeah,” I say, my voice catching again. “Yeah, that’s right. You have enough.”
A huge grin spreads across his face, his eyes lighting up, and god, if that’s not just the best sight in the world, I don’t know what is.