Chapter Two
Alex
The rest of Saturday and Sunday is busy; since my mom’s only visiting for the weekend, we try to fit a lot in.
The three of us go to dinner and a show at a theater near our apartment in San Jose on Saturday night.
Then my mom and I head up to San Francisco on Sunday and do all the touristy things—Fisherman’s Wharf, Alcatraz, the Golden Gate Bridge.
Nico works all day, says he has a deadline he needs to meet on a project, and so it’s just my mom and me.
It’s not until the train ride home from San Francisco late Sunday evening that I finally tell her what’s been on my mind for months now.
And since I’m nervous as hell about it, I just randomly blurt it out without any lead-in as soon as I’ve gathered the courage.
“So, um, I want to ask Nico to marry me.”
My mom looks up from her phone, her eyebrows arched. “Sweetie—”
“It’s crazy, right? I mean, I’m still in school, and he’s working full-time and has his apprenticeship, and everything’s good but we’re so busy. So it doesn’t really make much sense. But, Mom, I love him so much, and—”
She reaches across the small table between us and sets her hand on mine. She looks so calm, smiling with amusement at my rambling, and I shake my head.
“It’s crazy, right?”
“No, sweetie,” she says softly. “It’s not crazy. Actually, I’m surprised it’s taken you so long.”
I huff a weak laugh and drop my eyes. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while.”
“Have you talked to Nico about it?”
Heat floods my cheeks, and I immediately shake my head.
“Well, don’t you think that should be the first step? Does he want to get married?”
I lift my eyes again, and she’s watching me with such a gentle expression that I can’t hold her gaze.
“We’ve talked about the future. About our future, I mean.
What we’re going to do when I’m finished with school, where I’m going to try to get work, what he’s going to do when he’s finished with his apprenticeship.
We’re saving money together. We’ve lived together for almost five years now.
We budget and plan. And we’ve already, um .
. . promised each other we’re going to be together forever.
” I swallow and force myself to look at her.
“Sounds like commitment.”
“Yeah.” I nod a little. “I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I want him to be my husband.”
Her eyes are dancing now, and she squeezes my hand, then releases me and leans back into her chair. “Did you buy the rings already?”
“No . . . But I looked.” My heart speeds up at the admission, but her grin only grows more.
“Let me guess . . .” She tilts her head sideways, like she’s thinking. “Titanium bands in a medium gray, matte, not a shiny finish.”
My face gets even hotter, and I look down and pull out my phone, then scroll through the tabs in my browser until I find the rings I picked out.
“There’s a jeweler near campus. I stopped in last week.” I hand her my phone. “These are the ones I want.”
They’re pretty much exactly as she described—plain dark titanium bands with a brushed matte finish.
“A-and not that it really matters, but, um, they’re having a sale through next weekend. I have the money from my savings, and I was thinking, um . . .” I trail off when she lifts her eyes again and slides the phone back toward me across the table.
“What, sweetie?”
“Um, well, there’s this Japanese garden—it’s near that little zoo. We’ve been there quite a few times, and he likes it a lot because it’s quiet and peaceful. It’s not really like the river back home, but I think it kinda reminds him of that.”
“Is that where you’re thinking of proposing?”
I frown. “It’s stupid, isn’t it?”
“No, no, not at all.” She reaches out again and takes my hand. “Honestly, sweetie, it sounds absolutely perfect, for both of you.”
My heart is pounding now, and I nod slowly as a smile finally forces its way out. “I love him so much, Mom.”
“I know you do.” She sniffles and pulls her hand away to wipe a tear from the corner of her eye, though she’s still smiling.
“Just make sure you invite me to the wedding, okay?” she says, trying to make herself sound stern.
“Even if you just elope or get married in the courthouse in front of a judge, I want to be there. Promise me!”
I roll my eyes but agree, and she huffs “good” and then grins at me again before turning to look out the window, reaching up to swipe at her eyes.
Nico’s alarm goes off at just after six on Monday morning, the jarring notes of “Radiance’s Theme” from Hollow Knight startling me out of a comfortable dream. Nico groans and rolls away from me to hit snooze. Then he scoots back until he’s flush against me and settles his head on the pillow.
“Mmm, too early?” I slip my arm around his waist and hold him to me tighter.
“No.”
I don’t have to be at school for journal club until ten, but Nico starts at Urban Arts early on Mondays—some weekly meeting with his boss, Vera, to organize their schedules and goals for the week. He’s usually dragging himself out of bed by six thirty at the latest.
“Can I make you breakfast?” I ask, and I’m still groggy and tired and not fully aware, but I feel him stiffen up.
“No.”
“Okay.”
Something’s bothering him, but I’m not sure exactly what. He did get home quite late last night, so maybe he’s just tired. He works so much and rarely takes a full day off. It seems like more than that, though.
I let my hand drift lightly up and down his forearm, and I flutter tiny, slow kisses along his bare shoulder. After a moment, he inhales deeply and breathes out a long sigh, his body relaxing back into me.
“Mmm, better?” I murmur against his skin.
“Yeah . . . Thanks.”
“Want me to stop?”
He mumbles a no, and so I keep gently rubbing his arm and then his back with soft, long strokes while my lips caress his shoulder and neck. He’s silent, except for the occasional quiet sigh, but after a few more minutes, most of the tension in his shoulders is gone.
Of course, that’s when his alarm goes off again. I quickly prop myself up and reach over him to shut it off before he can move. He groans and then rolls onto his back, one arm coming up to cover his eyes.
God, he looks exhausted.
“You need a day off,” I say softly. I lower my mouth back to his neck and trail a path of kisses down to his collarbone. Then I pause with my lips barely brushing his skin. “Things have been hectic lately. You’ve been working so much.”
I glance up and see him frowning, his eyes half open as he looks at me.
“I . . . have to,” he says, and I nod.
“I know. But you need some downtime, too.” I reach up and touch his cheek with just the tips of my fingers, and he closes his eyes, then lowers his arm and shifts onto his side so he’s facing me.
“Yeah, you’re right.”
“I’m always right,” I tease, and he grins and swats my arm.
Then he’s silent again, and his expression turns serious, like he’s thinking about something important.
Quietly, I start caressing his arm and placing tiny kisses on his forehead and cheeks.
“So, hmm, what about this weekend, maybe Sunday? We can relax and spend the day together? Go somewhere?”
A buzz of eager excitement rolls through me, my mind already racing with possibilities, even before he’s answered.
I know exactly where I want to take him.
And Sunday . . . Sunday would be perfect.
Morning, so it’s not busy or too hot. We can have breakfast at the café he likes—the one by Urban Arts.
Then take a bus over to the garden, it’s not too far.
And the cherry blossoms are just starting to bloom; they’ll make the perfect backdrop.
Afterward, after he says yes and we’re engaged and I’ve made sure he knows exactly how much I love him and how much he means to me, we can come back home and just relax and hang out, play video games like we used to or maybe go to the movies. Whatever he wants to do.
It’ll be perfect. Like him.
I drop my head down to his shoulder and smile against his skin, and he hums and sets his hand on my chest.
“Hmm, yeah, maybe? I mean, I’ll have to check with Greta,” he says, but I feel him shake his head slightly. “Wait, won’t you be studying for your qualifying exam? It’s the following week, isn’t it?”
My stomach drops at the reminder, and the beautiful, idyllic scene I painted in my head poofs out of existence. “Ugh. Yeah, you’re right. The exam is Tuesday afternoon. I’ll need to study all weekend.”
The two-hour-long oral qualifying exam is a requirement for formal advancement to candidacy for my PhD in the Physics Department.
I’m prepared and ready—John has been making me practice the first part of the exam, which consists of a prepared oral presentation on my chosen topic, during our weekly lab meetings—and I’m fairly confident I’ll do well.
But it’s stressful anyway, especially because the committee selected to administer my exam includes two faculty who will also be members of my dissertation committee.
I sigh. “Well, what about the following weekend, then?”
Nico shakes his head. “That’s the weekend Vera’s overseeing the opening of that new gallery up in San Mateo. I’m working there both Saturday and Sunday.”
“Oh, right.” I let out another resigned sigh. “When did we become such an old, busy couple?”
He laughs, his breath hot against my chest, but he shakes his head and hesitates a second before he says, “Six years together this summer.”
My heart stutters, all my disappointment forgotten. I lift my hand to cup his cheek, and he smiles softly as his eyes meet mine.
God, he’s so beautiful and so perfect.
I have to be the luckiest guy in the world.
“Six amazing years,” I murmur, and I lean in for a short, sweet kiss.
When we part, he laughs lightly as he looks up at me. “I’ve loved you a lot longer than that, you know,” he says.
And my darn heart skips another beat. I wrap my arms around him and pull him up against me and nuzzle my face into his hair. “I’ve loved you for so long, Nico.”
I’ve got the stupidest urge to just blurt it out right now, like I did with my mom last night.
Marry me, Nico. Be my husband. Just you and me. Forever.
But then he sighs, tilts his head back, and kisses me again, long and deep and slow, and the urge passes.
That’s okay, though. I want to do this right, anyway.
I want to have the rings and get down on one knee and see his eyes go wide with surprise.
I want to hold his hand while I say everything I’m feeling in my heart.
Then I want to hear him whisper yes, yes, of course, barely holding himself together, and I want to slip the ring on his finger and stand up and wrap my arms around him and kiss him.
He hums into the kiss with a quiet contentment that makes my heart flutter again, and then he pulls back, smiling. “I should get ready. And you should go back to sleep.” He touches his lips to mine one more time. Then he rolls over and drags himself out of bed.
I watch him shuffle across the room to the dresser and then disappear into the bathroom to get ready for work, and when the bathroom door shuts, I collapse back onto the bed. I’m fully awake now; there’s no way I’m falling asleep, despite how early it is.
So, instead, I grab my phone from the nightstand, spend a few minutes texting with my mom, who’s at the airport already, waiting for her flight back to Omaha, then pull up the same tab I showed her last night—the one for the wedding bands I picked out.
A grin stretches across my face as I stare down at the dark metal band on the screen, and I close my eyes for a beat, trying to imagine what it will feel like on my finger and what it will look like on his.
God, I just can’t wait.
I mean, I will wait, because, again, I want to do this right.
He deserves for me to do this right. But I’ll definitely be making a trip to the jeweler’s at some point today, maybe even right after journal club is over.
And then I’ll have to figure out when—a day we both have off; a day we can spend all day together, no distractions or work or anything else. Just the two of us.
It’ll be perfect.
I just know it.